kaleidoscopeANON

only doing two chords so that i hopefully don't fuck it up i'm just winging it forgive me if it sucks i guess it's hilarious to be delirious little do they know i ain't jokin it's all an illusion of some sort on stage i can contort it to what i want it to be such a gift to be able to do that it feels obsolete when their minds are essentially made of concrete i'm trying to crack what you think you have to abide by if you pay attention everyone will hate you for it you can predict a total stranger's panic attack i'm explored many facets of human experience it shocks me how very few have studied themselves stupid ass mf didn't have to wait to turn right on red i should never complain about anyone's driving decisions considering... three n counting...this car is technically totaled i paid for the repair outta pocket cos state farm wouldn't cover it anyone that has driven a bmw understands my quality of driving really depends on the day it's pulling teeth trying to force myself to wear my seatbelt only when i'm riding w/ somebody else do i always wear it cos i know that it's a liability thelonious (car) protests exactly 90x yet another rule that people follow w/out understanding why

today is a sad day lying doesn't ever seem to occur to me now is the time to steal liquor but that ship has sailed for me not just so i could say Jesus died for that i no longer desire to self-destruct the way that i used to i can explain this type of mindset really well cos i lived that life i don't vibe w/ anything these days i hate everybody (within reason damnit) what's worse than sex? time i killed off that social part of me my emotions are intense is all ag explains why today's smoothie was preferable to yesterday's smoothie oh you know that i pet my cat the american dream used to not just be focused on survival i love my job n am so blessed for that everyone at my job loves it for the most part what clinicians call adhd... you can't keep being interesting, you need pills women are supposed to cry damnit, nothing will stabilize mood the olfactory sense is the strongest one fave smell in the entire world: freshly cut grass children are supposed to play outside i thank God every day that i wasn't born in this era shamsuddin180 go follow him if you have a rumble account well i got the sham part right haha everything is a representation of where we are as a society the phones prove how crazy our society truly is if it wasn't a phone it'd be sumin else keepin em from talkin to their family i was always the one staring out the window (we still do that haha) i already have my own means of distraction called my head i never knew that this batshit mind of mine would be a luxury just wait three days...ag motto i woulda killed myself a long time ago if i didn't trust in that killing myself would be an additional slap in God's face considering that i'm adopted (and born on thanksgiving of all fucking days) what the fuck is that sound society, culture n politics don't need to contribute to my own personal sickness (if i pay too much attention to all that stuff it most definitely will) the Orthodoxy really gave me a lotta clarity whereas before i lacked the gift of discernment we get all these msgs n we dunno if they are from God or the devil prophetic msgs are interesting tho a drunk person told me to get on insta!spam so... personal growth is so annoying i don't ever wanna do anything that makes it harder for me to communicate w/ myself i have already lived that shameful life slot machine brain means that nothing is salvageable anymore what does anyone value about the natural world anyway i'm taking a hatchet to yawl's pretend world cos that's what i'm supposed to do in this life

now imma bitch about this smoothie it's hard for me to eat so i make healthy smoothies it's not about looking good or being skinny, there is way more to health than that all this food tastes like shit now hopefully the smoothie will make up for that giant cup of coffee i chugged earlier yes i chug my coffee just like booze so much self-control to not get that dead bear tattoo the body is a temple so i'm probably not supposed to put permanent ink on it on a whim the tattoos i wanna get are pretty fuckin dumb so... most of our "advancements" are used piss poorly so off w/ their heads! think of technology as a drug n you will stop abusing it so i met a kid who still has a flip phone we need people w/ $ to expand upon these ideas this is a worthwhile investment i think so i totally contradicted myself here, i'm trying to have hope n then i kill it w/in a min haha it's a hard no when it comes to making any kinda personal change to reflect so called frustrations i'm sure you've noticed that i notice quite a bit i accept the redundant aspect of life n just roll w/ it if the comment ain't all up in the victim mentality it will be overlooked that's a pretty cool angle right there i don't wanna see the world this way so i became Orthodox the internet makes truth telling a ponzie scheme anytime that anyone leaves a comment like the kind i would leave... orthodox or amish but mainly amish haha they are already dead if they can't see that they're part of the problem no comment encouraging personal responsibility will ever be popular all the religions were invented love is a sacrifice so the Holy Trinity makes emotional sense God is a genius that's why Jesus is the Truth this is still my interpretation uhhh hollywood is run by jews so... easy to infiltrate when those involved don't really understand it end of the world pastors n then lgbt pastors sola scriptura is still useful. still find a priest most christians don't behave like Christians, it's just a label how many people claim to have autism w/out sporting any headphones accepting vs expecting i sure as shit hope you know by now vortex!

close up on smoothie where else on yt are you gon see a mini mini inside of a mini i adore a lotta things cos i can't devote my love to one specific person i shouldn't keep pursuing endeavors that i know i suck at this is how i love technology. trends. social obligations not everyone desires to be normal i tried to fit in when i was younger you dunno the suggestions i've already taken either a hottub or a gorilla i don't honk at people when they cut me off i'm not assertive down-there which is why i'm such a cunt on here way more likely to say sumin if it involves other people than just me a lotta people dunno how to overlook an offense three strikes n you're out, no door mat over here probably both discretion n discernment i love my job for this reason alone we shouldn't have to just take it all cos we're in customer service, fuck that shit allowing mistreatment vs. overreacting to everything they've called corporate a lot over me haha being rude to them just makes em stay even longer cos of course they wanna speak to the mgr thankfully i've done a lotta research on mental illness... the eyebrows tell all no matter what i say they will twist it no righteous judgment from society so they have no choice but to be wrong about most things

i hate the camera. i hate attention luckily they hardly ever stay cos i am just too hard to take if it doesn't come from you then it is nil knowing your gift is the greatest gift most importantly they dunno what their purpose is i am so frustrated watching this just to let chu know to some it's shit, to others it's brilliant it's beautiful when i can hear the influence of somebody way more talented than me hopefully it's entertaining complaining about what most wish they could complain about i think i'm a pretty understandable crank it's only three chords n i can't even do that this is why i'm not a musician haha the whole purpose of this is to do sumin positive w/ the negative i'm not as much of my own adversary as i used to be suck sex: imma read this later n not understand why i felt the need to write it down making music is better than sex God never meant it to be that way those that are truly happy were willing to work for it it's strange to think of love like the lottery i try to emulate what i admire it has to be fine that i'm not like this other person the serenity prayer is very helpful why wouldn't you pay attention to your life this other part of me that i'm friends w/ is a dude i'm supposed to have these women parts don't cut off yer genitals adults are really lame children, they ain't even honest adults throwing online temper tantrums should get their asses beat all my wrath comes wafting out whenever i talk about technology you're not gonna win this one, amy nothing destroys better than technology bitter due to society being complicit about all of this this is totally worth mentioning n i will never shut up about it can't buy, trade or sell w/out a smartphone look at that beautiful web even tho it's kinda jacked up it's sleepy time for these spiders maybe he doesn't wanna share, amy i will take that as a sign to say goodnight

masculinity poses a threat to everyone women talk too much about stupid shit since this channel is me talking a lot... i don't expect anyone to watch it haha most don't wanna know more women don't hardly know themselves so how can they solve the world's problems i was on birth control back in the day i get it but i still hated it never forgot to buy pot or steal alcohol but always forgot to take those pills when i was supposed to women: my body my choice *handing her body over to head dr/pharm co we've tried it your way n it didn't work women keep making bad decisions n blaming someone else equality for women doesn't seem to mean responsibility on their part nothing works the way that they say i am my own authority damnit why hand control over to people if they're only gonna destroy themselves both men n women complain about each other all the time but neither one knows what the actual problems are not interested in controlling anyone a lotta my art is devoted to people that can't control themselves keep blaming everybody else for your shitty ass life i own my fuckin shit you don't have to dig my opinions if you don't like how i look, then stop lookin at me i have managed to influence a lotta people to meow n i never made any kinda demand i need to buy more useless crap since i live in america

anytime you don't do what they want you to they will yell at you pussies give into societal pressure thelonious (car) will put up a fuss for 90 seconds most in the west ain't civilized, they're just indoctrinated that rule following starts when you're a kid hence the public school it's not just idiotic it's immoral which actually makes them heathens your morals don't belong to you when you automatically do what they tell you to w/out asking why i don't expect anything good to ever happen again when this is how most people conduct themselves day to day they don't even know what shame is or anything really an ongoing effort to modify our behavior that so called savior ain't comin back for ya he really ain't tho...not chipper i promise if they really cared they'd set fire to way more i got my cold brew yawl, i just want you to know seeing the world shitting itself n destroying themselves will surely make you sick witnessing this depravity on a daily basis will depress the shit outta you which is why i do drugs "covid" proved how worthless our society truly is blame ______ anything but themselves i understand why they fight the consciousness so hard narcissism strikes again! they can't feel sorry for people, they feel sorry for themselves, it's all about them hopefully some $ will take care a sumin a stack of cash tends to solve problems yes lexi n i are meowing at each other i don't hate females, i hate their behavior not all females are the same but most of em are

i'm so excited about this upcoming cold brew i dunno why i don't like the piano sound am i just like everyone else not satisfied w/ the way it comes well if it was an actual piano it wouldn't be able to fit in my car most things don't actually do that all this stuff is just a repeat of what we had before nostalgia is just plain stupid considering this channel is reminiscent of sumin that you've been missing why would you expect somebody else to make you happy you have a shitty life cos you expect too much from those around you triple shot whenever ag mentions not having a smartphone don't chu wanna drink like me? no i didn't know how to let the good out so it was overwhelming it could be a cop out or it could be totally true this is why discernment is good you still make the choice to give in oh yeah it's up to us to take em somewhere better than Hell talkin bout possession *takes drag off toothpick "cigarette" i used to be a whiny little bitch now i'm just a cunt

two dinosaurs now, it looks like they busted outta that mini mini cooper haha total bullshit that's taught in schools good thing that cop is staring the other direction yes that's evolution and yawl already know propaganda my friend brittany's kid wanted me to have this dinosaur evolution doesn't remember but propaganda does as long as you're moving... they have a lot to bond over!

so this happened to a friend of mine recently it doesn't matter that the pitbull attacked him if they have an attachment to the dog that's just how it is, man it's gotta be cos dude lost his temper, i can just imagine weird that i don't like angry people considering... glug glug glug go to a waffle house at 2am if you want proof like i keep saying narcissism makes you dumb he's the one that has consistently made overtly sexual comments no amt of church will make you any less creepy, sorry ladehs getting compliments from a stranger is pretty weird okay so the incident... schizos. children. actual clergy are willing to ask questions, that's it ag is amused can you tell but seriously a kid would make a better prez than all of em combined, adults have infantilized themselves voluntarily anyway he simply can't understand that w/out context people think that he's doing sumin disrespectful n it's an Orthodox Church so... good intentions don't mean shit w/out context prominent isn't the correct term, i really dunno what the correct term would be serious? outlandish is the correct term for my attire back when dave chappelle was still dave chappelle just becuz i'm dressed this way...look up the bit it's fucking brilliant this is why twitter exists...to completely nuke the fuck outta context he is just silly n big-headed it's really not their responsibility to ask me a question if they don't feel comfortable, they don't think that talking to me will ease that at all assumptions are easier than accepting that you could be wrong ask more questions, have less enemies i'm explaining paranoid schizophrenia as well as narcissism oh my goodness i'm so glad that kid is gone it's a vibe thang he looks the stereotype but also fits it to a T i hope that shit isn't true n he was just trying to come across a certain way most people can't handle this job cos it's too much work (super easy tho) the smartphones have robbed so many of their initiative how can you bitch about it when it's this common of a problem, nobody is gonna do shit about it that didn't happen, that was just sumin i suggested they'd never do that shit like i have always said technology infantilizes everyone i used to have to do that shit w/ weed, i definitely couldn't do that w/ booze tho haha going to work now bye

i'm sorry if you're sick of this you probably left i'd expect nothing less if i'm sick a you i ain't stickin around romantic relationship has a shelf life of 5min *the duration has dwindled quite a bit over the years! i have no idea where these people are now n it just makes me sad *i know i could just look em up on social media but that depresses me MORE they are gone now n it just makes me kinda sick am i the only one that thinks like this you could just say that i'm religious yeah i was already headed in this direction maybe it's a cop out to walk out of any future w/ a potential mate why would i do sumin that i know i will suck at more like lack of a conversation once again, ag works at a restaurant newbies won't be here for very long i reckon yes i've created a drinking game based off of different things i bring up or idiosyncratic behaviors that i exhibit in order to celebrate 13 yrs of sobriety (from booze) i hope that my sobriety date won't' expire cos that would be bad for anybody/everybody at the time it made perfect sense n it didn't matter what anyone thought of it alcoholism felt a lot like eternal damnation so blessed to get outta the cycle it takes the load off to not have to get loaded for some (or a lot) it just makes sense if you can't make sense outta childhood trauma... do sumin that makes you forget all the things that they screwed up plenty of childhoods that ain't too good pointing fingers gets you nowhere these people tend to not be aware, maybe they just ain't ready for it

i'll just call myself a commie considering... it's really corporatism that i have an issue w/ false light right there anytime you bitch about people, places n thangz all political idealulogies don't work becuz corruption will always ensue i don't mean literally nuke if you support israel you love violence how am i wrong... how is this thing i like a lot like the other thing i don't like nobody is that concerned, man when do they not pretend everything you've been taught you must unlearn smoke a joint n solve problems they dunno how to do drugs right cos they don't understand their brain distracted...so they don't have to do anything it's just means that i'm in the zone comedian's comedian which is why most non-comedians don't get me my caliber of musicians is way too high for me to even label myself that whatever i do is interesting cos it's a character maybe in the next moment you'll laugh stick around n i just might blow you away why would i be mean all cos somebody doesn't get me i spend all my time w/ me so i probably should like myself be the type of person that you wanna hang out w/ if i met myself i'd want us to hang out all the time see yourself as somebody else/see them as you empathizing is not sumin they know how to do they're not ready for empathy i get the value n the futility at the same time everything is a contradiction so just embrace it trust in the good that is always n only from God people that haven't done work on themselves (most of em) will hate you but that's fine, it's vindicating

thank you for visiting spring hill, anytime man anytime free shit is poison free fake education/fake medicine free crap w/ the purchase of even more crap the man in my head is right buy crap to disguise that fact that you feel like crap everything we consume just makes us feel more dead inside i finally understand that saying right the fuck now all they do is run from themselves but they just go right back everything about our culture screams vulture cos it's been feminized women love to pick apart any ole carcass having a purpose is the purpose they don't have any substance w/out deeper meaning our society doesn't believe in living nobody is gonna recognize Jesus so called christians will disavow what i say cos they let their insecurity get in the way of helping somebody that they don't understand you gotta emulate Jesus not wait on His ass that gay black voice has been making more n more of an appearance, forgive me if you paid attention to the country you live in you'd agree w/ me n not name-call if you dunno yourself n you're making all these declarations... maybe this reality is slightly true or it comforts you most people don't wanna be challenged rare for ag to keep an opinion but i still hate women it's up to you to make reality what chu want it to be the world that chu work for does not want you to succeed becuz they wanna keep being your solution i can be logically emotional, i prove it daily

i keep saying imma do this n i know it takes me awhile i think i'm a little to avande garde for them am i gaslighting myself again they get booked w/out the persona tho my whole existence seems like a persona no i'm not doing a bit, my existence is a joke lexi is waiting on me that's my bitch, my little oreo when she gets mad she acts way more black then white, i would too all the mixed people i know say the nword a lot i should try harder to be successful in some kinda way

it's well understood if you're crazy like me no need for dem conspiratorial books just take a look at society, we are pretty screwed up we dunno what we need i don't do what's bad for me you don't have to believe what i believe i get your skepticism about organized religion however, you believe in pharmies so... once again, the problem w/ "authority" if you don't question it you'll believe anything is legit this "music" is about as awkward as me, the truest thing to my spirit you can think it's terrible, you might be right i play randomly n it helps get it out if you don't get the point get out GET THE FUCK OUT! it's a luxury to be a freak of nature i don't mind being seen in a negative light so glad that i'm behind this truck, the pressure is gone i don't wanna piss people off on the road if you dunno what art is, you can kiss my ass i disappoint many driving behind me i choose to park all screwey @ an intersection: you're on yer smartphone, i'm playing keys so lucky that music has been so significant in my life blessed is always the correct term the kids are outta their indoctrination prison so we've been super busy the time goes by pretty fast tho which i like we parked by our friends again i understand this branch quite a bit

so my friend just got attacked by a pitbull dog people never take responsibility for what their dogs do reacting is always the wrong thing to do why social media is so dangerous everyone is reacting in the lamest possible way society was already irresponsible n now they have this device that cancels out all accountability i don't get in people's face about any of this shit it's not my place to spout unsolicited advice i guess we will never know the mean shit that this bitch has to say conservatives always assume that i'm liberal n liberals dunno what to think i still resemble a liberal i know i'm getting too old to flash myself at a certain point, ya gotta put away yer tits of course imma talk politics at some point it's like they're trying to prove sumin by showcasing the american flag who knew that schizophrenia would be a privilege

tell me why i do this vortex don't make it even more awkward amy i'm sure that many can relate to this experience yet another evening spent @ trader joe's i will so i hope you will, too *burlington coat factory established in 1972 by some jews more than great coats...they did it! i'm pretty sure that i talked about this the last time we were here that's the sound of thelonious (car) cooling off watch girl, interrupted study mental illness, you won't regret it i dunno who the flowers are for we choose to have very limited contact w/ the world it might be a combination of narcissism n paranoia everyone is a victim of the system n this shit world i usually don't figure out until way later that i had sumin in my teeth we need to talk about choice in general men n women have morphed into a giant blob of confusion obviously i'm the one that is wrong here finally schizophrenia started to pay off during the lockdown what chu see now has been happening forever if it doesn't make a scene then it obviously didn't happen i'm a danger to society all cos i opened my mouth, i mean you don't have to listen to me if you tell the truth expect to be castigated women are kinda prone to manipulate cos we are essentially children still (thank you society) the red pill is all about questioning reality in general what do women (as a whole) do that warrants respect if somebody raped me when i was drunk it woulda been my fault pro-choice means pro-abortion, fuckin duh own your decisions, bitch so i pissed some people off at work yesterday over fuckin roundabouts it's so easy to upset people cos they always jump to the conclusion that you are saying sumin mean it's really not all white people tho amy i fucking hate unnecessary shit that wastes my time whoever they are they are assholes damnit i guess i have to figure out how to say EXACTLY what i mean n consolidate my thoughts a little better i don't consciously make a decision to change my voices but i am aware of them do yawl fully understand the meaning of behavioral modification yet they will bring this up in relation to propaganda n "medicine" but that's about it this is my coworker's dinosaur back in 2010 i couldn't help but notice that people were obsessed w/ their phones so... i'm not gonna do sumin that i know is bad hashtag i killed myself n this is Hell i keep saying that we're gonna go n then we just keep on talking...CLASSIC ag *i spent almost a hundred dollars if you chase whatever makes you authentic everyone will be jealous of you the biggest risk they take is having sex w/ someone n somebody getting pregnant simplicity is beautiful in its' own right talking to myself in the grocery aisle...CLASSIC ag

that's brittany, she's pretty fuckin funny yes i take a lotta these signs home i dunno if biden really did that tho our co-worker corey is one of the only black trump supporters i know whether liberal or conservative, they're all pieces a shit my uniform looks like shit haha they're gonna fuck us over no matter what i do prefer the trump dildo tho i know i need to take a shower

why wouldn't you drive w/ the windows down always whether it's spring, summer, fall or winter... i have worked at a lotta places over the past couple decades i got fired from blockbuster back in the day crazy that they expect you to show up, man i would rather work in a fast-paced, stress-oriented environment i like situations that prove the amt of work i've done on myself not many seem to learn from their experience, how lucky we are hissy fits are to be expected from many i parked next to my friend here all these towers that they put up are destroying the trees n it makes me so sad ag never upgraded her phone to this deathstar shit

tommy twitty trucking wtf i fasted from coffee all thru out lent so here we are drinking a new cold brew i used to work @ just love coffee for like 3 days we gotta come back n get another cold brew i can't fault anyone for their shitty driving decisions, i mean... there's a significant reason why we are so religious now i'm not a good liar like at all when total strangers tell you that you have a drinking problem there are some really good things about the 12 step program but alas maybe if i just drank ______ you get what i'm saying...i hope it's easier to stay away from sumin when you've exhausted all efforts to live w/ it believe it or not men n women's bodies are different of course our whole experience is different a lotta people just blame the bitch but you know that ag will blame the world our society has not pushed motherhood on women for decades there's been a lotta shit that's happened since the fifties, man men don't behave the same either, hello i guess i'm the only one that's gonna talk about technology manipulating human behavior...

i just watched a dog take a dump but we didn't even know each other i'm sure that might be how people feel when they watch my channel i'd endanger myself n others if i drove the way i wanna i am pretty horrified by this piano punk my voices *plural are artistic you really dunno unless you ask n you still can't trust em some day my prince will come music is transendental white suburbia is all about their roundabouts five uh oh spotted they ain't catchin most people on their hands on devices they might write ten extra tickets they will do it like i do n figure out how to get away w/ it...if they were really serious they'd take away their phone but they ain't ever serious chocolate protein powder makes this taste weird you got way too many people that believe in authority for the wrong reason they abide cos it's part of their trusted social structure too many in authority are just power trippin i love cement trucks, no no my bad a mixer it pisses me off that the world is this way n the reason for that is all the mfs that trust it consciousness is not really talked about crazy people just have a don't trust authority part of their brain the title track is usually the best kind of blue, not some kind of blue ag laughs at the joke but won't even tell you if you're not motivated to do alternative research you ain't gonna grateful that we dated all cos of the bands i've gotten into at an earlier time in my life my ego would have wanted all the credit for that the older you get the less you give a fuck about recognition not just what they teach you but how...it's essentially prison women dunno enough about themselves to know shit about the world if you dunno yourself you will be easily triggered just call it medicine, they'll take it just call it food, they'll eat it, they're lazy sacks a shit i love my empathic piano punk but not the angry shit that this rant resembles my stage presence is the exact opposite of what i do on this channel only God sees the real me if you think these rants are mean, just imagine what i say to God appeal to ag: no pretenses the cicadas are gone, who knows if they will be back so capitalist you might as well just be jewish i don't wanna resemble the people on twitter i did not have this discretion when i started, forgive me since i don't vibe w/ social media types at all this is the place where i almost got hit by some big ass truck yesterday i shouldn't be trying to make a case for purposely running stop signs internet brain has usurped society that's london asking me where my shoes are i dunno why i'm wearing this long-sleeved shirt either they wait cos they know you, amy that weather machine is on full blast if you just say black people w/out context people will assume that it's racist

everything that they suggested just made me more suicidal at least i didn't do that one thing that i really ought not to so much of me that fell by the waste side, at the time it was pretty terrible i put myself thru the ringer if i stay i will be in the bathroom (giving a seminar) yes you know that we pee/shit in a bush God taught me how to love this n accept myself i don't need acceptance from those that work for His adversary the devil can't get to me the way that he used to the devil got to me yesterday but not today becuz of yesterday i'm able to explain a lotta things i understand a lotta things w/ impunity time passed n i became confident there's a lotta shit that i figured out all cos i lived i hate being that bitch that shells out advice i really can't stand assertive women cos we're not supposed to be that way i can't make it in the real world but i can be real important over here you don't have to acknowledge where i reside dt of all mfs was the one that got em to question their reality stop getting so defensive when i call you out i find it pathetic what people choose to do w/ their freedom i even love all the shitty parts kefir mustache, absolutely beautiful my favorite is when they add the laughing emoji thank you for proving all my points they watch a little snippet n think they know you the only way to save america is thru culture which has already been won by the L abortion is bad but a liberal mom is worse child abuse is considerably worse than abortion the abortion argument is totally infantilized which makes sense here's how you can end abortion (small scale) why are you fucking a dead beat we ain't goin back to the fifties yawl chose technology that feminizes you death perception for the internet junkies technology is worse than feminism submission is unnecessary when you're chill just let the bitch go... just wait 3 days n you will figure out how you really feel about sumin i really hate doin standup for this reason alone i should do a fake award show for the american people if you wanna win over liberals you gotta talk about sex RIP father andrew, who compared me to a prostitute haha i do not know many conservatives who make art i know that i contradict myself a lot if i wasn't a nutjob i'd want what chu have zombie kids due to zombie parents yes i DO Church, afterwards i eat my Holy bread outside "adults" give haughty looks, kids ask "rude" questions i'm like their crazy auntie imma want all those kittens but i must consult paisley first i don't wanna piss her off n i am technically holding her hostage this is the third time that the light turned off so i will take that as a sign to shut up i am a total jazzhead which is why my car is named thelonious/miles at some point in every video ag will forget the subject the world is also holding me hostage

there are many different sides to me love me or hate me, mainly hate me all my voices come from the same place they will always get offended when you don't say what they expect no we don't see illuminati eye to illuminati eye how boring it must be to be going along w/ some social norm n not even know why they make many choices unconsciously i have the opposite problem of yer avg american most problems ain't problems, they're just annoying look at everything like it will be an eventual blessing up until now you were very convenienced so thank God for that i'm bound to get aggravated at some point thru out the day i'm quicker to get outta things that aren't too good for me quicker today than yesterday self-expression is the purpose of all this, i reckon just don't expect it to be good n you will be impressed since art is short for artificial then art should be a representation of the world which is also artificial i used to fantasize about being a real girl (submissive) the animal kingdom makes way more sense than we do nobody listens to the birds chirping, the same should be true whenever women talk women would be a lot better if they could accept nobody gives a fuck in spite of my sexism i still acknowledge the exceptions the "crazier" you are the less you want/need people you'd think i would be over this by now but alas people don't understand that not everyone wants the same thing we all have a different concept of happiness no, love is not eroticism or obsession it is sociopathic (it's just narcissists) if you know that you are problematic do not fuck anyone if you have trauma WORK IT OUT it's pointless to say that suicide is selfish i mean duh (sheep say that) slow suicide is more selfish than just ending it quickly my poor mother received multiple calls from multiple hospitals suicide watch at the bar haha this dude that i'm talking about is just waiting to OD once it's done it's done, true shit RIP david berman, he apparently hung himself obviously there's a reason why somebody is on so many drugs having an abortion is not worse than dressing yer little boy up like a girl since that kid will eventually kill himself anyway i've seen a lotta fucked up people over the years RIP heather, it was bound to happen never blame the drugs, blame a total lack of consciousness i don't see heroin working out for anyone i give most of my friends 10 years, eventually alcohol n drugs will take their ass out easier to get drugs than fix yer childhood trauma edibles provide a body high whereas smoking thc goes directly to the brain i wrestled w/ this for awhile but now i have peace in knowing that i'm still w/ God regardless how ag does moderation, all or nothing sobriety can be a drug if all you know is being fucked up many ways to get high, it's just that smoking a joint gets you there a lot faster i'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt that you're a better person i won't just assume that you're sacrificing children all cos you got a crystal just cos you don't understand sumin don't make the person involved terrible well, i was right about the world

i hope i'm not just telling myself shit that i wanna believe stoned cold cynic due to living in this world where ever i go i'm analyzing it i've gathered a lotta information that ain't positive boundary nazi, don't even think about it better that i just say these things to myself if you wanna fuck then no you don't understand me sex is supposed to be a beautiful representation of God's love i only see this example in the Orthodox Church protective but not overbearing i dyed my harr pink in my early early 20s cos i'd always wanted to do that when i was growing up in the nineties i will own every bad decision i've made women will never understand cos you're holding them accountable what is ANYONE doing tho i make 25 mistakes in 1 so i quit drinking

i hope that my lights aren't that bright but they probably are it doesn't matter if i'm any good at this i can explain mental illness better than anyone i've ever met granite they haven't done the work that i have there are things that they've figured out that i have yet to figure out teach me n i'll teach you never trusted authority since there's no explanation for it if the general public don't understand then it sounds like an excuse nobody cares if mentally ill people commit suicide you will actually have sumin to give if you can accept that everyone hates you enough to not care if you're dead everyone's so apathetic no matter what they say in the heat of the moment i'm not deceived by the people of this world at least not anymore i don't expect much, if anything at all anytime people actually like me i dunno what to do idealize me n i will REALLY disappoint you i'm crawling outta my skin if i'm around people for too long they just wanna have dinner w/ me n i'd rather choke on my food i wish i was exaggerating do not expect me to share anything else from me damnit