Bobby Sauce

Watch a literal meatbag serpent garble words and lies for 90 minutes with the hot takes and zaps of your favorite beanbag.

Los Angeles sad person Karen Salmon just squandered 67 million dollars moving around 1900 people off the street and into dumpy motels and getting likely trash housing for only 255 people. 67 million smackers! The level of insanity is off the charts, gang. She still has over 150 million of your dollars left to burn and if we're lucky, she might end up getting 1/40th of the street walkers into dumpy apartments by the end of this. I'm sure they won't trash the apartments and end up back in the tents. But hey, ripping through hundreds of millions of your dollars makes all the sads feel more gooder! Great job Angelinos!

A consequential measure came to the floor in our halls of "public service" and not a single person voted 'Nay' on the measure than the true rhinoceros himself, Rep Thomas Massie. Oh no, gang! Here comes the backlash. Imagine a topic so hyperbolic and off the rails that nearly everyone seems to unanimously agree that absolutely anything goes all the sudden. Principles, beliefs, facts suddenly take a backseat to feelings. Loud noises! Don't talk about it! Watch out! I honestly don't care what people call Rep Massie, but he is one of VERY few that actually hold to their principles and stay true. Go look into it for yourself and try to remember that things are always framed to seem moral and just, when they are in fact disguised in morality to usher in even more control. But I guess not this time, right?

This Floyd Documentary is absolutely insane and needs to be seen by every person you know. I can't express how clear and obviously laid out this particular case is. Even as a person who paid much attention to it, there were many new, eye-opening revelations in this film that make the whole situation even more absurd. Minneapolis and the rest of the nation are still feeling the impact from this. Seeing it timelined in this way is incredible to see. The fact that the release of this coincides with a rejection of his case being considered by the Supreme and him getting shanked badly while in custody, shines a very ominous light on this situation and makes this film even more important and compelling. Watch it now.

Nothing to see here, fellow flesh bags. The same clownshoes that can't figure out how do pretty much anything are advocating to let's the robots decide whose cheeks they clap. Imagine playing techno a little too loud and some unmanned drone thinks you're making threats and you just get zapped and clapped and you just wanted to dance. I guess this is fine. The same dirt merchants that completely ignore your desire to live and succeed will be encouraging basically no limitations on what and who the robots can clap. The future seems bright, gang!

They love feeding this chip on the shoulder narrative to the unsuspecting and uninformed public. Gets the clicks, feeds the division and appeals to people who don't understand the basics. Bobby Financials is here to learn you up on some free market basics, why these articles are crusty garb and probably offend some people who don't like knowing how things actually work.

New York's Ralphing Sound with the juice necklace announced today that millions of dollhairs of your hard earned money will be going to teach the youth how to eat what they are spoon-fed from the exact people who definitely never lied to you ever. Eat your grains and potions and question nothing, fellow youths! Completely ignore things that happened and enjoy your meaningless debt hole to a life of mediocrity.

Doesn't it bother you when people don't just gobble up the official story like a delicious meal from a private chef? It sure does bother me. Stop asking questions you silly goose. A 45 year old adult married man with 2 kids who had videos of himself swimming could absolutely accidentally go underwater by accident with another person watching him. Even though he had a giant floating board, this story is still totally plausible. Happens all the time probably!

Hold tight gang, your lEaDeRS and rEpREsEntAtiVes are giving out strongly worded letters of disapproval to the scrumbles ruining your life every day. So strong! Much disapproval! Let's all do literally nothing instead of something. Instead of actually focusing on something that actually literally matters to literally any person living on the literal Earth, our overpaid clownsneakers in power are putting out resolutions to say how upset they are. Can't wait till nothing happens, gang! They're fighting for you! Let's all clap! I'M HELPING!

Remember that one time a handful of rich people took a septic tank powered by an Xbox controlled to find a pineapple under the sea? And then they allegedly pretended for days that it could still be in tact when it was allegedly more than obvious it wasn't. Then they spent millions of dollars to allegedly pretend to rescue them even though it was obvious allegedly that it was gone. Remember when it allegedly coincided with a bunch of stories about Hunter Parmesan and then the fact that they allegedly knew all along allegedly because of the sound they recorded at the exact time it allegedly lost communication. That was interesting.

Lots of actual laughs from the Titanic as actual sneakers of an actual clown that supposedly represent tHe PeOpLe actually brought the idea to the floor that Kareem should have her salary cut to $1 for lying and being insufferable etc. Don't worry gang, they're fighting for us! Just a totally fake, run you in circles, literal clams casino hold the casino by the people who pretend they're on the right side of the issues and defend the people they pretending to want to defend. Every passing day I'm reminded how laughable these folks are and why we are literally living inside a literal dumpster.

Serious question: is this a good thing? If the answer is no, does that mean you disagree with Donnie? Is he wrong? The new speaker has been in place for less than a day and already your favorite commentators have put out post after post of all the bad takes he's had over the years. So if you disagree with this speaker and you love Donnie, is he wrong? I wish people would be willing to hold leaders accountable to some type of standard instead of just cheer everything no matter what. Will people actually say he's wrong in this? Genuinely curious. I don't know enough about this guy yet, I'm just curious. Plz don't freak out.

Made a comment on a viral video and countless soypersons somersaulted out of a tofu factory to squeal in sadness while not understanding why things are so bad. The left right paradigm is certainly a trap and needs work, but lots of these people don't understand that the bureaucracy they absolutely love is actually the root of their problems. If people had even the slightest understanding of how free markets and allowing free people to reap what they sow worked, they would stop putting these people in office that promise them another handout. Red isn't the end-all solution but ANY GROUP that prioritizes more money in your pocket and more rights to the individual will get out of the way and let the country fix itself.

My speech from The Great Northwest Awakening

Nope. If the case for why right-leaning views can't be made in environment like this, it likely never can. There's 5000 things to point out and drill into the minds of the electorate, yet overseas distractions and infighting squabbles are dominating the conversation.

Howwww is this a real headline. Dr. Peter Crusty Hotez, who loves giggling and throating junk food and while criticizing anyone who doesn't want factory-made mystery potions blasted in their browneye by force. Lots of actual sad laughs. I could barely come up with a joke for how wild this award even exciting actually is. But thankfully it lead me to the realization that The Dumpster View co-host Whoop Cushion resembles a rastafarian school bus and well, that makes it all worth it.

The Ghost of Slow Byron 10% to the Parm Dealer is about to allocate $105B to Prezzy Green T-Shirt and literally anybody but us. Whispering through his porrage that this somehow is a great investment and for our security. Meanwhile the swish cheese protecting us down south and the 73,000+ that get clapped every year from fenty get mere scraps. They want us zapped, clapped and laying down for a dirt nap.

This timeline is laughable and you gotta be soggy and lacking brain wrinkles to think this is anything less than the intentional destruction of this nation. We're getting clapped upside down and sideways and all the serpents can do is stack more debt on your head while you're underwater. Keep clapping you clams, this will not end well for us.

There is nothing wrong with being patient if you are unsure of how to thoughtfully and productively weigh in.

Treasury serpent and balls in mouf underworld deception creature Janet Garben says that we can cErtAiNLy afford to be fighting overseas in multiple entanglements. CERTAINLY! Lol why would you even question that? Was your dinner of bugs and $18 slice of bacon making you think otherwise? Stay in your pod useless consumer. This exact same actual underworld creature says we don't have enough cash to handle our existing obligations, while reassuring you that we're totally fine squandering more cash away from our shores. This nearly octogenarian sandbag of lies has been wrong thyme and thyme a-gain and the supposed JoUrNaliStS who interview her can't even push back a little, they just thank her for her precious time and laugh in our faces while our mortgage is double and gas is $7 a drop.

I love seeing comments of people saying they don't trust what I'm saying because I'm a comedian or perhaps not a trusted serpent they love getting lies from. All I have to say is, LOOK IT UP. Go ahead and look it up. I encourage you not to trust me, but if I wasn't repeatedly giving the facts, nobody would listen. Truth is truth, I don't care if an upside down raccoon on a pogo stick tells it to me.

Yoooooooo Chicago could use an Italian beef and maybe a shallow dish of reality because they're handing 9000 clams to busloads of new residents while half a billion in the hole. Lots of laughs windy city are you guys good? Maybe stop putting these clams casino into office, hold the casino. What an insanely sad burden on such a a beautiful city I'm sure this will be totally fine. Build a 29 million dollar tent or just toss them a stack of Benjamins and maybe ruin the schools some more. Best of luck fam glad people keep encouraging this behavior over and over again.

I do my absolute best to article this message clearly, in a hypersensitive time where ignoring the chatter would be simpler and easier. I'm trying to explain my point knowing that even if articulated flawlessly, will likely still anger many people. But doing my best to lay this out vs. ignore it will hopefully display my care, intent and genuineness as it relates to the current situation and every situation I try to voice an opinion on. I'm doing my best, here's what I've got for now. Feel free to engage in the comments and let's keep the conversation going so we can find more UNITY than divide, which is what we really need the most.

While people stay distracted, the leaking Depends administration is bragging about job growth and most people aren't told the full picture. We're hemorrhaging full time jobs while people are forced to get second and third jobs to stay afloat. Many of them are seasonal and low-paying hospitality jobs or jerbs created by the bloated bureaucracy. Yet despite how bad it is, they can't stop bragging about it. We're getting milked dry and most won't look beyond the headline.

Yooooooooo what is literally occurring, being unhinged is so hot right now and people are underestimating the perceptiveness of their audience. I BELIEVE IN FREE SPEECH. I don't think many of the words and actions of some people will age well after this and the true heads will recognize what we say and do in this most crucial moment.