Guns & Games

With the Peacekeepers and the Federation having a nice imprint of Lurch's boot on them, Cascadia ask Hitman team to drop some havoc on a weapons research facility. Surly no cockamamie contraption with get spit out at our heroes, right?

Behemoth heads down into test chamber 10, where the toughest enemy is the glitchy ass game itself.

Back on the surface, Behemoth talks to a dead pig, smashes a robot with a cardboard box, and explores the countryside.

Behemoth takes a break from robo-bludgeoning to have a good old-fashioned commie hallucination, then watches roboho one and roboho two perform an entirely unnecessary and drawn-out ritual to unleash a freaky jello monster that eats dead people.

Behemoth breaks a priceless museum piece, plays a slidey-maze-puzzle-ball-thing, and collects robo-wenches head.

More robbits of various size and shape are pulverized, and the game crashes.

Sicario scrambles as a snowball in the Bering Strait threatens to turn into an all out air war. Lurch chases down some transports and then throws down the gauntlet with the Federation peacekeepers.

Jumping puzzles and dead robots. Everyone's favorite.

Behemoth's microphone decided to call in sick today, so enjoy some good old-fashioned robot bludgeoning without commentary. I know, it'll be hard to manage without my magnificent voice, but you'll survive...some way...somehow...

Behemoth continues his collection of various and sundry robohoe bits, as two robohoes are needed to shut this place down.

In today's exciting episode, Behemoths mission is to...FIX a robot?! Not smash it, but to put it back together?! Disgusting.

Behemoth wastes far too much time talking to robohoe model #685. Very little robocidal violence ensues, but ludicrous amounts of jibber jabber.

Behemoth engages in glorious battle with a giant foul tempered ball of tinfoil.

On his continuing mission to clobber all the testing grounds, Behemoth climbs a hill to test 8, and can't find an open door.

Testing ground 9 is the next stop on Major Behemoths journey to obliterate all robobastards.

Behemoth intervenes in an angry plant/robot war. They don't get to kill each other, only he gets to kill them both.

Into test chamber 6 for more intriguing weapons and blueprints.

Behemoth heads into yet another subterranean complex, this one a weapons testing lab, to find new and exciting way to destroy commiebots.

A peaceful, idyllic meadow under a vibrant blue sky, spoiled and defiled by corpses of both man and machine. Yet more proof that the ineptitudes of communism can ruin anything.

After running both hither and yon to get the damned train moving, surely it will last and be useful for more than a single cut scene. Right?

Lootaholic Behemoth acquires every last piece of shiny debris on his way down the hill to the train station.

After finally escaping the village, Behemoth engages in some good old fashioned, family friendly, vehicular robocide.

After finding his way out of the agricultural complex and back to the surface, Behemoth explores an idyllic little village completely overrun with robots of various sizes and shapes.

Behemoth, at the urging of random survivor #4, takes up gardening as a hobby. Surely nothing terrible will happen to random survivor #4 as a result.

While gathering canisters for the magic commie tree, Behemoth comes face to beak with the deadliest predator known to mankind. The dreaded Gallus domesticus.