Guns & Games

After some entirely pointless ping ponging, the final battle does ensue. Repeatedly. Over and over and over again.

Robots are slapped into submission and tiny helicopters are taken for equally tiny rides. The last ball is collected.

Major Behemoth explores an underground hangar, defeats another swarm of roboballs, then the game glitches and forces him to do it all over again.

Robo clobbering continues. Six beads down, two to go.

Major Behemoth visits NORA's brain. Like most female brains, it is surprisingly empty.

New bots, new bosses. Great and glorious battle does ensue.

Major Behemoth gives more big, shiny metal balls to the horny refrigerator.

More robots underground. The robots are slain.

Major Behemoth explores yet another subterranean complex, and smashes a menagerie of robo foes, both old and new.

Major Behemoth collects the first of the roboballs. The robots are not fond of such harvesting.

Now with a fancy fancy glove, Major Behemoth heads back into the swamps to clobber more robo skulls.

Back on the surface, Major Behemoth wanders through a sunken village and shares a lively debate with its denizens.

Major Behemoth is back with the first DLC of Atomic Heart!! What glorious shenanigans awaits our valiant hero!?

Upwards and onwards, to the final battle. The twins put up a bit of a fight, but the ending is...well...shit.

Major Behemoth heads into the exciting, dramatic conclusion of Atomic Heart, fights one of the robotwins and pushes all the buttons at the museum of death and dismemberment.

Even more jibber jabber and the occasional colorful hallucination. If you want to know ALL the lore of Atomic Heart, these last two videos explain the whole damn thing.

Prepare yourselves. Hide yo kids, hide yo wives. Lock up the dog and secure granny in the bunker it's time for... EXPOSITION!!!! Damned near a solid hour of talking, without a single shot being fired, without a single roboho or angry vegan being obliterated. You have been warned.

Major Behemoth finds a giant, angry, laser shooting, tentacle equipped testicle hiding in a whale carcass. Then goes to visit a scenic lighthouse.

More people get melted, ballerina bots are still unnecessarily theatric, and The Major finally makes it back to the surface, done at last in the depths of Pavlov.

Major Behemoth becomes a philosophizer as he moves through the Pavlov Complex under the hospital, where much weirdness and even more freaky red goo is discovered.

The swarms of angry vegans start thinning out, to be replaced by swarms of robots as Major Behemoth moves deeper and deeper into the commie lab seemingly responsible for all of the assorted shenanigans.

The hospital turns out to be significantly larger than it looked from the outside. Many a veganmutant are slain, and maybe even a robot or two.

Back up the hill and into the hospital. Hospitals are always a totally safe location in any situation involving freaky apocalyptic plant zombies, right?

In the last test chamber, Major Behemoth encounters a body positivity activist, and feeds her a steady diet of vegan certified, healthy and slimming buckshot. Twice.

Now across the bridge, Major Behemoth goes for a long walk on the beach, and splatters several robobitches and vegetable weirdos.