Cracked

Worst Break-Up Excuse Ever

An exciting new innovation that will soon be appearing on your facebook wall, and in your nightmares.

AKA how thos kids from 'Chronicle' really found out about their super powers.

Like an Adele song written by the world's craziest ex-girlfriend.

Outside of watching your significant other get disembowed.

You don't want your nemesis to be too smart, but there's such a thing as your nemesis being too stupid too.

This is probably why business schools don’t teach 'punishment via nickname.'

Sometimes, going the extra mile for the big promotion isn't worth it ...

It's not all ray guns and halodeks and telportation devices up in here.

These tips will get anyone promoted, even if they have an inferior female brain!

The awful truth about a classic Star Wars character.

Rule number one: Don't be a proxy for the writer's annoying wife.

ED-209? Terminators? You don't need to go to sci-fi for the most terrifyingly likely robot uprising. It's already begun.

You won't believe they exist, and that they could be so ... depressing?

Here's some advice. Don't buy swords on the internet!

Think Sonic was a friend to his fellow animals? You weren't paying attention ...

For some reason, advertisers decided kids cereal mascots should constantly be trying to steal their product. Today, they're pulling off their biggest heist.

If her father tells you he never wants you to see his daughter again, just know that it could always be worse. For instance, it can always go like this ...

Which works out to about half of the videos that have been uuploaded to YouTube.

At the Cracked offices, the research process can get pretty weird ...

When you actually connect the dots, sitcoms feature lots of creepy subplots, disappearing characters, and plenty of subtext that makes the laugh track sound pretty damn nervous ...

A series of accidentally homoerotic encounters leads to whacky hi-jinks and existential crisis ...

If the unabomber manifesto had a dope beat.

When Giving Away 'A Lifetime Supply' Turns Deadly

The greatest history lesson nobody tells you until you catch them masturbating.