killjoy217

The only tank sim on the infamous original NES multicart of "Action 52", this is essentially an 8-bit reenactment of the 1991 Gulf War ["Operation Desert Storm"] that was going big at the time. You control a grey tank that has to go up against the evil army of "Satan Hosein" [try & guess who they're referring to in real life], who has sent his [pink-coloured] T-72 tanks after you, as well as the occasional infantry mooks. The game is slow as hell, while contrary to popular belief, your tank is not indestructible - about three or four hits & you're a pile of scrap metal. That being said, I've found something that nobody else who has reviewed this game has ever found - allowing those giant "Satan Hosein" figures to run into you will give you an extra life as these figures [which you can't shoot down & disappear about a second after they appear] are actually disguised 1UPs - how's that for a discovery! Other than that, this is boringly slow & something of an endurance test if you're not patient. My Grade: D+ [Disappointing] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

AR-0041: Remember that bad telepic I reviewed long ago called "They Saved Hitler's Brain"? Well, this is the uncut original version I'm covering here - a leaner, tighter, UCLA-student-padding-bullhitsa-free version which also has The Austrian Painter's fiery death by hand grenade explosion in its uncut form. Critically speaking, "The Madmen of Mandoras" was pretty shabby, even by the standards of early-1960s schlock, today it being an almost pathetically dull piece of work, slathered with a thick layer of German cheese... [Psst - does anyone know what the worst kind of cheese Germany produces? I'm not a cheese expert so I'm asking for a friend?] My Grade: D [Bad] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

You play a pistolero [gunman] who has to wage a war against a Mexican cartel, blasting away cartel gunners while dodging cars & collecting sombreros that give you extra hit points. The enemies use the "Action 52 Boss AI" code, meaning their movement is unpredictable as they move all over the place, while touching any section of water counts as an insta-kill to the player. Playable to an extent, but this is a bad hat of a game... My Grade: D+ [Disappointing] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: THIS GAME WAS PLAYED SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSES OF CRITICAL RESEARCH [THIS REVIEW] - I DO NOT SUPPORT TERRORISM OF ANY KIND AND UTTERLY CONDEMN ANYONE WHO DOES SUPPORT TERRORISM. DO NOT TRY TO TRACK DOWN THIS GAME. AR-0040: This was a bootleg version of an American-made 2003 piece of shooter shovelware called "Quest for Saddam" [which is itself completely safely ethical to play, in case you're interested, unlike this bootleg], made by the jihadi boys at the Global Islamic Media Front [GIMF] purely to make some stupid propaganda against the West & which was distributed purely free of charge... The worst kind of shovelware... This is almost identical to the game it was ripping off, only with character skins & prop photos changed around, along with the original game's AR-18 changed to an AK-47 [or technically speaking an Iraqi Tabuk assault rifle] with a 25-round magazine capacity. The game code is also messed around with, making it even jankier to play than the original version [even the lighting is made darker] & the final level exit code is missing, meaning you can't even technically beat the game. This game is a pile of putrid rubbish & should be avoided at all costs. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] AS I SAID EARLIER - AVOID THIS GAME AND JUST PLAY THE ORIGINAL VERSION INSTEAD...

A pretty simple concept of a game on the infamous original NES multicart of "Action 52", this is essentially an 8-bit NES carny shooter where you have to take down all the targets that show up, although these targets can move all over the shooting field & after clearing the first level, these buggers can cross the barrier & take you out, so be careful. Not a particularly decent game but for masochist gamers this one's an easy picking... My Grade: D+ [Disappointing] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

AR-0039: The last of the Tim Kincaid direct-to-video B-flicks I'll be covering, this is an awful dirt-cheap sci-fi horror trashbag flick about an alien presence that infects human hosts & reproduces by assaulting virgin women. A feminist doctor & a young detective are on the case. The only good thing about this woeful movie are the surprisingly good el cheapo makeup effects & the plentiful nudity on display, but those attributes fail to put any life into this nasty movie. Believe it or not, there was a remake made eleven years later that was surprisingly watchable & light years superior to this el crappo original. This is the one Tim Kincaid film that had a wide distribution as MGM issued a DVD of this title back in the mid-2000s. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

Another ladder platformer on the original NES multicart of "Action 52", but this time we have a French Baker [as per the game's title] who has to restore order in his multistory kitchen as various objects & foodstuffs go on a rampage as if they were strung out on 8-bit meth... With enemies that like to bum-rush you whenever you're on a ladder [it's not their fault they are so fast] & the usual "falling kill code" shenanigans going on, this ain't a particularly good game, but hey, it ain't too much of a challenge if you play it right & you're up for the challenge. My Grade: D+ [Disappointing] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

AR-0038: The infamous "Italian Star Wars" flick that tends to show up with surprising regularity in numerous public domain box sets [if you have a Mill Creek multipack of at least ten films or more, chances are you have this film - this particular one I found in the notorious "Sci-Fi Invasion" 50 film box set that many online reviewers have tackled at some point or another], this one has Antonio Sabato Senior [father of Antonio "Nice Set of Abs" Sabato Junior] play a spaceship captain who has to rescue a professor & his assistant [who happens to be the captain's secret girlfriend, although she isn't loving him back - maybe the hot young crewmember who secretly loves the captain can help fix that love triangle] from alien androids that love to cosplay Prince Valiant with cheapo dimestore lightsabers who serve a council of Italian Palpatines sporting faces looking like raisins [or as we Aussies like to call them "sultanas"]. Bad movie, even by Italian standards... My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this video.

A pretty glitchy horizontal space shooter on the original NES multicart of "Action 52", this has the player control a spaceship that fires a shotgun [check out the 8-bit shotgun shells that come out of the ship's cannon] & going up against enemy ships that look like pairs of breasts & a boss fighter that resembles four engine blocks strapped together. The boss can sometimes call in sick & refuse to show up, causing the game to freeze in those instances. My Grade: D+ [Disappointing] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

AR-0037: This was perhaps the very first zombie film of the 2000s & was for a time one of the most infamous, although it seems to have slipped into obscurity nowadays. An alternate sequel to the original "Night of The Living Dead" that was only possible due to the split copyright between George Romero & his Image Ten partners, this unholy beast was the brainchild of female producer Karen Lee Wolf who was given half a million dollars by her father & told to go & make a horror movie. Getting into contact with John Russo, this clueless sheila wrote a poor script, hired Russo & original zombie Bill Hinzman as DP on ridiculous salaries, got a newbie director right out of film school & effectively micromanaged the whole production in a way that would make Stalin proud. In short, the production was a disaster of epic proportions. A sobering lesson on the pitfalls of filmmaking. This was released in Australia on DVD through Force Entertainment twice - originally with an R18+ rating [Aussie equivalent of American NC-17] but then reissued a very short time later with the rating downgraded to an MA15+ [Aussie version of American R rating]. The disc quickly went out of print & the film has never been reissued again. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

Another space shooter on the original NES multicart of Action 52, but this is in the middle of the road of the complement of Action 52's space shooter arsenal. You control a space fighter that travels through a space filled with used condoms & Jupiterian Christmas Trees while shooting enemy spaceships that on rare occasions can retreat to give you a kicking. Certainly not the best Action 52 has to offer in this particular genre, but it is a reasonable time killer if you're a masochist. My Grade: D+ [Disappointing] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

AR-0036: Now for a turn into the nasty world of Filipino exploitation of the 1970s, this [somewhat hard to find] nasty thriller about a group of women being abducted by a scuzzy-as-hell businessman who wants to use them first as his personal harem for his clients then as sport to be hunted down [so yeah, this is an unofficial adaptation of "The Most Dangerous Game"] but the head of his team of mercenaries gets other ideas & decides to help the lovely ladies escape... but not before helping themselves to the mansion's armoury to give them a fighting chance. As far as 1970s exploitation goes [remember that "grindhouse" is NOT the correct term for these kinds of movies], this is pretty standard for that decade. Not a good movie by any standard - poorly written, flatly directed & the action only takes place at the final ten to fifteen minutes of a 70-something minute movie - but almost every chick in the cast whips their boobs out at least once & Sid Haig is awesome in this. He even gets the best line in the movie: "My nose ain't the thing that grows..." Very hard to find on DVD, although in Australia this was released [from a ripped VHS] onto a double feature DVD with "TNT Jackson" by Umbrella Entertainment [the Aussie equivalent of something like Blue Underground]. Only a trailer is provided for supplemental value. My Grade: D [Bad] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

A top-down vertical scrolling action game where the player controls a knight trekking through a forest destroying enemy creatures made of random sprites. The game does have some of the typical nonsense the Action 52 devs infused into their games - the enemy creatures all use the Action 52 Boss AI - but this is a possible candidate for a time killer if you're a Zelda fan who wants to play a cheap quick-&-dirty knockoff. My Grade: D+ [Disappointing] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

AR-0035: A low budget Gothic horror flick made by a comic book illustrator, this tale of a rich merchant who survives a shipwreck only to find himself stranded on a remote leprosy-ridden island & at the mercy of an insane aristocrat who hates pirates is interesting in concept but unfortunately the mediocre execution robs this one of much of its potential to be effective. Oh, & the visual effects are crap, too. My Grade: D [Bad] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

AR-0034: Another of a number of low budget telepics [movies made specifically for television] Larry Buchanan made from remaking old Roger Corman monster movies, this extremely faithful [still has some differences, though] yet even worse treatment of the story about a group of strangers attempting to survive radiation, mutants & each other in the weeks following nuclear war was actually done better by Corman himself in his original film. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

AR-0033: The last of the original line of direct-to-video [DTV] genre films Tim Kincaid made for Charles Band, this low budget turkey has future Sgt. Kabukiman Rick Giannasi play a cyborg private eye who helps his boss's clueless son land a lucrative gig providing security for the President of a Caribbean island nation, only to go up against a rival security company, revolutionaries & El Presidente's voodoo queen mother-in-law. The concept feels crazy enough to fit this kind of market, but the quality of the film is nothing short of abysmal. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

AR-0032: In this first of three reviews I'm doing for Halloween 2023, we take a look at an obscure horror comedy that was originally meant to be a background prop for another movie, but the director loved the idea so much he extended this prop to feature length. A hair metal band from the depths of the 1980s find themselves in some hot water when they arrive in a small hick town to perform at a do-or-die audition for a talent scout, only to get killed by a family of Nazis led by the Austrian Painter himself but the band's frontman had the foresight to record a black magic spell to resurrect the dead on his mixtape, which succeeds in bringing them back as a zombie version of KISS. An atrociously put together movie that has some seriously wrongheaded story turns, although the frontman's relationship with a young fan is definitely something that should be condemned. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

KEP-2H: This is as full a run as possible on the tenth game of the infamous original NES multicart of "Action 52". A land-based schmup where you control a technical [with a rotating cannon that always fires forward] blasting enemy gun turrets across eight almost identical levels... ...the reason why this isn't exactly a true full run is because due to an issue with the original game code, all known copies of this particular game freeze up halfway through Level 8. So it is best to treat this game as being won at the completion of Level 7 & consider Level 8 a sorta victory lap. I used a Game Genie hacking cheat code for infinite energy [which you can discover for yourself at the start of this playthrough if you're observant]. The Killjoy: Mile Sipka Remember My Advice: Don't Be a Masochist, Winners Use Cheats [But only in Single Player Games]

KEP-2J: This is a multiple full run of the eleventh game on the infamous original NES multicart of "Action 52". Here, the player controls a beaver who has to navigate a path, fending off rival animals by tossing cookies at them. There are only two levels & the game has a design flaw where the terrain only scrolls one way, meaning that if the player takes a wrong path & reaches a dead end, they might find themselves stuck without being able to return to the right path if the screen has scrolled too far. I used a Game Genie hacking cheat code for infinite energy [which you can discover for yourself at the start of the playthrough if you're observant]. The Killjoy: Mile Sipka Remember My Advice: Don't Be a Masochist, Winners Use Cheats [But only in Single Player Games]

KEP-2I: This is a full run of the fourteenth game on the infamous NES multicart of "Action 52", a ladder platformer where the player controls an Eskimo who has to do an assault on rival Eskimos during a snowy turf war. The objective of the game is to head up & down ladders, taking out enemy Eskimos using snowballs until they stop respawning. I used a Game Genie hacking cheat code for infinite energy [which you can discover for yourself at the beginning of the playthrough if you're observant], although that cheat doesn't protect you against dying from falling too far off a platform. The Killjoy: Mile Sipka Remember My Advice: Don't Be a Masochist, Winners Use Cheats [But only in single player games].

The only game on the infamous NES multicart of "Action 52" that is a purely two-player game, this has two players riding fire-breating dragons battling each other. There are a total of eight rounds & also some sprite traps randomly placed around the playing field. Even if you're able to get someone else to play your opponent, this game ain't anything more than a poor choice for a time waster. My Grade: D [Bad] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

The "Action 52" equivalent of the classic arcade game "Jackal", you control a technical with a rotating cannon that always shoots forward, blasting enemy gun turrets on what appears to be the Moon [as implied by the game's title], but in different coloured sections. The game is technically impossible to beat as the eighth level always locks up halfway through so consider getting up to Level 7 as a de facto full run & treat Level 8 as a free victory lap. As for actual gameplay, well, it sucks. My Grade: D [Bad] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

In this platformer on the original NES multicart of "Action 52", you play a beaver who has to traverse a twisting path, taking out rival animals with poisoned cookies. This particular game has a significant design issue where if you take the wrong path & the screen has scrolled too far forward, you will find yourself stuck & unable to return to the proper path. Also notable are the useless 1UPs. My Grade: D [Bad] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

Another of those ladder platformers based on the infamous vampire-hunting game "Illuminator" on this original NES multicart of "Action 52", this one is almost identical in gameplay, although this should be called "The Alaskan Snowball Massacre" as you play an Eskimo [or Inuit, as modern language standards seem to recommend], who heads out to give a one-man-@$$-kicking to a rival gang of Eskimos [or Inuit]. Pretty bog-standard Action 52 bullcrap, but at least it is a little easier than "Illuminator" was, so there's that... My Grade: D [Bad] Any questions, comments or associated trivia on this review subject, please leave in the comments for this particular video.

KEP-2H: This is a full run of the fifteenth game on the original NES multicart of "Action 52", this particular one being a cheap knockoff of the NES "Jaws" game where you play a diver armed with a harpoon gun with infinite harpoons who has to rid the ocean of sharks. That's it, really... The problem with this game is that the sharks can take their sweet @$$ time showing up, so there will be long moments of you waiting for them to appear. A pretty boring game, to be sure, but if you're after a full run of this game, then this playthrough will probably be the only one you will find on this site... I used a Game Genie hacking cheat code for infinite energy, which you can discover for yourself at the start of this playthrough [if you're observant enough]. The Killjoy: Mile Sipka Remember My Advice: Don't Be A Masochist, Winners Use Cheats [for single player campaigns only].