killjoy217

AR-0012: The eighth film in the Hellraiser series, this was the third & last of the trilogy of direct-to-video sequels Rick Bota made for Neo Art & Logic & the last Hellraiser of the 2000s. An absolutely abysmal sequel that trashes the Cenobite lore for a misbegotten attempt at making a "meta-sequel" set outside the series' universe as a group of Millennials obsessed with an online game based on the Hellraiser films find themselves trapped in a nightmarish rave party held at your typical remote spooky mansion. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comment section under this video.

A unique entry in the original NES multicart of Action 52, this is a maze shooter where the player must traverse a hedge maze, shooting enemy sprites that use the "Action 52 Boss" AI, meaning their movement is unpredictable. Very easy to get killed in this game, plus the sprites are so small they are difficult to make out on the old CRT TV monitor screens of the era. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comment section under this video.

AR-0011: This end-period Italian peplum is better known in English international release under the title "Hercules Against the Moon Men" [& later fell victim to the savage robot hecklers at MST3K], even though this film's protagonist isn't Hercules but the native Italian superhero Maciste, a character that was extremely popular during the silent era in the 1910s [but never exported outside of Italy] but then revived during the peplum era [1958-1964]. In this late outing, Maciste comes to the rescue of a kingdom whose narcissistic queen is aiding a race of alien stone robots whose mummified queen needs the blood of human sacrifices to fully come back to life. A very poor example of Italian peplum & a dumb film, but at least this is relatively watchable for Bad Movie Masochists & causal viewers might want to get inebriated before they tackle this one with the boys... My Grade: D [Bad] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comment section under this video.

This is one of those platformers on this NES multicart of Action 52 that really begs the question of what was going on in the devs' minds when they were thinking this game up. A literally unbeatable game [there is an obstacle on the third level that is impossible to get past], this has the player character being a hairy John Thomas with big feet [so I guess that old saying about guys with big feet is true...] who has to defeat hair combs & blow dryers attacking them with hot hair. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia about this review subject, please leave in the comments section below this video.

AR-0010: The first of the Howling series to go direct-to-video, this unholy sequel was shot in South Africa in defiance of international trade sanctions at the time. An awful Scooby-Doo styled horror mystery that may have been more faithful to the books that started off the franchise in the first place, but lacks the scares, effects and wit of the cult classic original film. The film does have one ace up its sleeve though with the series second-best transformation. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject please leave in the comments below this video.

The player is on a mission to take down an empire of tiny ant-sized sprites that the manual refers to as "evil Arabians" [don't look at me, that's what the manual calls them - no offense intended to real-life Arabs], with some of the tiniest sprites ever seen in an NES game. Anyone playing this on an old CRT television back in the day would have serious problems playing this, although there is one interesting attribute as the player can theoretically gain unlimited lives by collecting 1UPs. Other than that, this game sucks goanna eggs. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject please leave in the comments under this video.

AR-0009: This is the second film in a five-picture deal that cult Full Moon producer Charles Band signed gay hardcore erotica pioneer Tim Kincaid to produce ultra-low-budget movies to release for Band's Wizard Video label. These five films [four of which Kincaid directed himself] were the very first direct-to-video films ever released, Band having created the market as a way of maximising profit & also avoiding being ripped off by greedy distributors. This particular film is a bargain basement post-apocalyptic quest fantasy where a group of rebels head out across the post-nuke New York landscape to defeat an AI & its army of killer robots. The level of effort here is reasonable but Kincaid is spectacularly out of his depth here. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments under this video.

In this horizontal space shooter [one of many] on the original NES multicart of Action 52, the player controls an astronaut with a surprisingly effective backpack that allows them to evade most enemy shots, going up against strangely-designed enemy ships & do battle at the end of each of the two levels against a massive sun dial cruiser firing scatter shots. The boring gameplay & irritating soundtrack will take you out faster than the enemy ships... My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject, please leave in the comments below this video.

AR-0008: One of the undisputed champions of the Bad Movie viewing circuit, this ultra-low-budget, shot-to-win-a-bet, made-in-El-Paso-Texas, abomination has a family trying to escape a small house owned by a demon-worshipping zombie cult. Awesomely bad in just about every way, plus this film also became infamous through the cult bad movie heckling show Mystery Science Theatre 3000 - in fact their most infamous victim. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments, or associated trivia about this subject please leave in the comments section under the video.

An infamous entry in the Action 52 NES multicart stable, this platformer has the player dodge falling blocks & arrows while at the same time trying to time their jumps accurately enough to reach the other end of the screen. It is possible to make it through the game but extremely difficult to manage it unless you've had enough practice. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments, or associated trivia about this subject, please leave in the comments section for this video.

AR-0007: This direct-to-video Steven Seagal flick from his laughing stock days in the 2000s has the Stout Sensei lead a team of mercenaries to defeat a mad scientist developing a means of remote brainwashing. This awful movie managed to become infamous in Uruguay [the setting of the movie] due to all the mistakes the Bulgarian production crew made in regards to the depiction of that country in the film. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this subject, please leave in the comment section for this video.

In this glitchy platformer, the player control a (possibly female) character who has to run the typical Action 52 gauntlet, knocking off grey punk rockers, dodging musical blasts & squaring up against the boss fire-rockers. There is a glitch in the game where falling down the death pits won't automatically kill you provided you then jump up to walk through the floor as an unclipping exploit & enabling you to avoid as much of the obstacle course as you wish. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia about this subject, please leave in the comment section for this video.

AR-0006: A mid-1970s police procedural with a science fiction twist, this was originally released in 1978 for a theatrical run that only lasted a week [under its original title of "The Astral Factor"]. It was then withdrawn from circulation until 1984 when parts of the film were reshot & visual effects were 'updated' from the trippy Star Trek transporter-esque animation to simple camera phase-in optical effect, hitting VHS & television under the title of "Invisible Strangler". While the concept is quite interesting, particularly if you're a fan of 1970s police procedural telepics, the utterly flat execution & lack of energy really sends this one to the bottom of the barrel. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia about this review subject, please leave on the comments section for this particular video.

Another awful platformer on the NES multicart of Action 52, this time the player controls a reptile hitman who has to take out a rival toad mafioso & his henchmooks, all the while dodging assassins dropping bombs from second storey windows, which while predictable, are extremely difficult to dodge correctly. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject please leave in the comment section for this particular video.

AR-0005: The film that almost entirely ended John McTiernan's career, this woeful "extreme sports enthusiast" rejig of the old 1970s dystopian sports flick was a spectacular box office bomb of its day & remains a classic example of what not to do with remaking old IPs. One little note is that while home video releases of this film in the USA are of the theatrical version, international prints are fully uncut. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject can be left on the comments section for this particular video.

In this ladder platformer, the player controls a pig named Hambo who must get to the top of each level, avoiding the rolling balls blocking his way. Only powerups available are 1UPs that have a colour scheme that was absolute murder to discern on the old CRT television screens of the day while using the necessary Game Genie hacking cheat code turns a bloody difficult game into a candidate for insane speedruns. My Grade: D- [Atrocious] Any questions, comments or associated trivia for this review subject can be left in the comments section for this video.

AR-0004: Royal Oaks was a company headed by Andrew Stevens & Ashok Amritraj that issued a bunch of military-themed B-grade action films directly to video in the 1990s, providing a second wind to people like Michael Dudikoff & Michael Madsen & which was something of a minor fixture in video stores back in the mid-to-late 1990s. In this particular flick, one of their very worst films, a shadowy group in the CIA use a top-secret laser satellite to commit terrorism just so they can expand their paycheques, although their plan comes unstuck when they make the [wise for us] decision to use a decompressed soldier stuck in an asylum to perform an assassination mission on an important target, only for the Shakespeare-loving assassin to remember his past & his duty. Jeff Speakman handles himself well with his Kenpo moves, but the plot of this film will put off a great many people due to how flippantly it treats the hot-button issue of terrorism, something that wasn't a major issue back then [film came out three years before 9/11]... My Grade: D- [Atrocious] If you have any questions, comments or associated trivia, please drop me a line on the comments & I'll listen...

This is one of two games that don't load on physical copies of the NES multicart of "Action 52" [unless it is a Rev B cartridge] - a crude & nasty platformer where you play a handyman who must take out rogue power tools with your trusty nail gun. Crap stuff to be certain... My Grade: D- [Atrocious]

AR-0003: I review the telepic re-edited version of the old 1963 Naziploitation thriller "The Madmen of Mandoras", which was expanded with some new footage starring some woefully bad acting UCLA students & which makes watching this one a pain in the eyes. Most sources out there claim this was issued in 1968, but the presence of what is clearly a 1972 VW Beetle in the 'new' footage is a clear dispute of this claim so I list 1972 as the issue date. If you have any questions, comments, or associated trivia, please drop me a line on the comments & I'll listen.

On this awful platformer, you play a creepy version of Bart Simpson [if he became a lecher wearing a blue skirt & needed eyeglasses] who has to battle his evil twin brother & his army of robots. The first level is surprisingly easy to beat but once the second level starts, you're screwed... My Grade: D- [Atrocious]

AR-0002: In 1969, Robert De Niro made his acting debut in "Sam's Song", an obscure indie production that had limited distribution. Ten years later, the fledging Cannon Films decided to cash in on De Niro's then-rising popularity by reediting "Sam's Song" to turn it into a crapjack revenge thriller, changing the De Niro character considerably to negative effect. When De Niro discovered this, he was angry enough to sue but ultimately backed down. Good call since this unholy abomination was one of the most boring & lifeless thrillers the 1970s ever saw. My Grade: D- [1/10] [Atrocious] If you have any questions, comments or associated trivia, please drop me a line in the comments & I'll listen.

AR-0001: In my first film review for Rumble, I take a look at one of the very worst films ever made - a tale of a mad scientist creating indestructible spider women hybrids from spider hormone therapy, who can dance the Tarantella & eat bullets for breakfast, lunch & dinner with impunity, but a beaker filled with explosive chemicals gives them some fatal indigestion. Originally a cheap crime thriller, the production was halted due to the director being a pain in the ass to work with & once a new director was brought in, the story was changed. The musical score is pure ear rot, unless you're a hardcore Bad Movie Masochist who can put up with it easily. Personally I am perhaps the only person in the world who can listen to random banged piano keys & an off-tune strumming flemenco guitar all day long... My Grade: D- [1/10] [Atrocious] If you have any questions, comments or associated trivia, please drop me a line in the comments & I'll listen...

I review the first choice of my challenge [I do these from worst to best], with this diabolical vertical platformer, where the player has to climb the world's tallest apartment building skyscraper, while dodging bowling balls, falling sandwiches, killer wasps & the Invincible Moth, which will kill the player regardless of their position. Oh, & the window sills are all coated with deadly poison which depletes your meagre health faster than you can say "oh shit!" My Grade: D- [1/10] [Atrocious] If you have any questions, comments or associated trivia, please drop me a line in the comments & I will listen...

In my first video on Rumble, I place the first installment of my challenge to review each & every game on the original NES multicart of "Action 52", one of the most infamous games ever made. This particular video is an introduction to the challlenge & I will be handling this challenge over the coming months. If you have any questions, comments or associated trivia, please drop me a line & I will listen...