The Babylon Bee

The Babylon Bee’s Adam Yenser brings you the news you need to know like all things Lori Lightfoot losing, Pete Davidson crashing his car, and illegal immigrants from Honduras decided to eat a bald eagle for some reason. Also Chuck-E-Cheese is still using floppy disk drives. Watch the full podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADBTKAx-ON0 Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans?utm_source=PYT&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=description Listen to more Babylon Bee content with Bee Radio: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUu5jt0fuiT55J2KDStJwLw The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee Podcast: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebabylonbeepodcast/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/babylonbeepod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBeePodcast

This substitute coach has never coached little league baseball before. He has nothing to worry about… as long as he gets the children’s increasingly complicated pronouns right. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Mandy is absolutely triggered by Twitter's possible takeover by Elon Musk. She attends a Twitter-sponsored therapy session to help her cope.

Join Tim Apple as he reveals iPhone 13. The first phone to force you to be vaccinated… or else. Apple: Think different. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

In this official training video for the People's Liberation Army, Chinese soldiers are taught how to cripple U.S. soldiers by just shouting the wrong pronouns at them. Very effective! #shorts #tiktok #china #usa

The Babylon Bee’s Adam Yenser brings you Weakly News like Biden telling Zelensky that Ukraine isn't ready for NATO membership, the winner of Miss Netherlands being a dude, and scientists finding out the quickest way to calm down a rattlesnake! Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans?utm_source=PYT&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=description Listen to more Babylon Bee content with Bee Radio: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUu5jt0fuiT55J2KDStJwLw The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee Podcast: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebabylonbeepodcast/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/babylonbeepod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBeePodcast

Should you turn your guns into the government? Of course. Don’t know why? Here are just a few of the many, many reasons.

The Babylon Bee’s Adam Yenser brings you all the news you need to know from the week like John Fetterman struggling at the debate, Halloween costing 13% more this year, and Ye deciding to go up against the Jewish people. Watch the full podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSSoX7IE4VQ&t=99s Follow our podcast Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBabylonBeePodcast Follow our new podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebabylonbeepodcast/ Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Pastor Jack Hibbs joined The Babylon Bee podcast to share the story of his difficult beginning. #shorts

If you are male, you are toxic. So watch and learn how to get rid of your toxic masculinity from this feminist husband. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

You've heard of Pregnant Barbie, Midge. Now Mattel has released its first-ever pregnant man doll: Pregnant Ken! You can have all sorts of fun with the clearly MALE Ken doll and his pregnant belly! Available wherever non-gender-specific toys are sold. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans?utm_source=YT&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=description Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

The Babylon Bee's Adam Yenser brings you all the news you need to know from the week like Blink-182 playing together again, all the potheads getting set free from jail, and lots of statues getting smashed. Catch the full Babylon Bee Podcast over at our podcast channel: youtube.com/thebabylonbeepodcast Follow our new podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebabylonbeepodcast/ Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

CNN has made it a priority not to misgender the perpetrator of the tragedy in Tennessee. #shorts

A Border Patrol agent catches a suspicious character trying to blend in with a group of Mexican migrants. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans?utm_source=YT&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=description Subscribe to our podcast channel: https://www.youtube.com/thebabylonbeepodcast The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee #mexico #usa #comedy

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you still might need to defend yourself on the rare occasion. If that ever happens to you, you can use these foolproof ways to defend yourself even when you don’t have a gun. In the meantime, if you are looking for gear that is actually useful for home defense, Visit T.Rex Arms. T. Rex Arms is equipping the serious citizen.

Don't have a vax card yet? Then get the "I Identify As Vaccinated" t-shirt to solve all your problems. Really! This is a real shirt! Go to -- https://shop.babylonbee.com/collectio... -- and get yours today!

The UK government has a watchlist of authors. Who qualifies may surprise you. #shorts

The FBI is insisting their raid on Melania Trump's wardrobe was justified -- but the women's clothes the agents are wearing look suspicious. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

We should've listened to Greta Thunberg 5 years ago because now we're all dea- wait a second! #shorts

Do you stare at your TV as intensely as Tucker stares into the camera? Do you count Sean Hannitys while drifting off to sleep? Watch this video to see if you have a problem. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

The Babylon Bee Guide To Wokeness will turn you from a MAGA into an SJW! Be deplorable no more and order now: https://www.amazon.com/Babylon-Bee-Guide-Wokeness/dp/1684512719/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8eOLBhC1ARIsAOzx5cEMzKzsFgB3rN8Jtv1WYraB45bEo3TRda1jJtbJqrO-wArVQzq0M4MaAvkMEALw_wcB&hvadid=540126299025&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9052218&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=16776733561140656595&hvtargid=kwd-1409883395264&hydadcr=17811_10949264&keywords=babylon+bee+guide+to+wokeness&qid=1635365052&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzS1A3SUozR0FBSzFZJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwOTU3ODE1MThVS1IzRDg1MTRXSSZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwODIwNzMzMkVDQllENVNJTEVBUyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

Host Adam Yenser gives us the news of the week, including the Queen dying, Ariel being black now, and changes that are coming to Major League Baseball. Watch the full podcast and be sure to SUBSCRIBE: https://youtube.com/thebabylonbeepodcast Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Let your friends at The Babylon Bee walk you through every single Christian denomination in existence, except for the ones we forgot. What's your favorite denomination? Let us know in the comments! Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

The California Dream ain't what it used to be. In this parody of The Beach Boys' "California Girls", the Babylon Bee Boys express their yearning to leave the Golden State some day. Be sure to listen to this song on other platforms: Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/i-wish-we-all-could-leave-california/1639644585?i=1639644706 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/145XjJ2AGjpoAWbwAGdefO?si=f2d4185d353948d7 Amazon Music: https://amazon.com/music/player/albums/B0B9J9R728?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_IYa54qr2s0I1Qh3cG5QlNEe8t Lyrics: Well, SF's packed with feces, You gotta watch your step up there, And Los Angeles with all their homeless camps, The tents and drugs are everywhereIn Napa Newsom drops some 15 thousand bucks on wine But in the rest of the state with all the mask mandates, They keep us all locked up real tightI wish we all could leave California, now I wish we all could leave California, I wish we all could leave California, nowWell, Texas has more freedom, And pistol grips out there aren't banned I'd dig a Florida place with no mask on my face, And no income tax sounds grandI been all around this Commie state, And my time here's about spent Yeah, but I couldn't spot even one U-Haul lot That had a single truck left to rentI wish we all could leave California, now I wish we all could leave California, I wish we all could leave California, now (edited)

It’s clear that these two men are hateful, racist, misogynist bigots. But they’re wonderin’… maybe they ain’t? Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee