Cracked

4 Surprising Facts from Cracked's 'De-Textbook'

It turns out your favorite holiday classic is absolutely terrifying.

We just can't believe that Hollywood would lie to us like this.

Between October and January the average American will see 27 million holiday-themed advertisements. (We didn't get the exact number there.)

Hope you're investing in butt guards.

The Nativity has never been more sensational.

Abandon hope, all ye who watch.

How ... inspirational? Right?

Some people apparently don't care about getting laid.

If only we lived in a world of Item Shops. We'd never have to be scared of anything again.

If period films had to be completely historically accurate, they’d suck.

The picture of you doing that kegstand with your pants down in the middle of church may very well save humanity.

In high school, actions speak louder than first names.

Once you see it, you'll never unsee it.

It's almost like Hollywood has run out of ways to make trailers intersting. Go figure.

'Welcome to Temple Academy. The entire first year is safety. Second year is safety and maintenance.'

Some people never grow up. Unfortunately those people also end up running the world.

Turner and Hooch we hardly knew ye.

Once upon a time the Rebels and Empire relied on droids, then didn't, then did again.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ... actually it was in Idyllwild, California sometime in December.

Please, call me Darth. It's my given name.

Ever heard of James Cameron, director of 'Piranha 2'? Apparently something traumatic happened to him during its filming, because he's had a weird thing for water ever since.

It turns out every commercial is a terrible tragedy.

Life. It is a precious gift that can be snatched away from you for almost no reason at any second.

A Couple Breaks Up in 154 Movie Titles