The 7 age fallacy interpretation

The seven age fallacy interpretation of the church's
period was handed down to many generation by...who the hell knows. No one knows definitely the origins of this and other ambiguous doctrines, such as the second coming of christ for literally over 2000+ years and still cannot burst the sky...I always digress. No one knows the origin of these doctrine for sure. Many would say it was handed down by the Nicene creed of 325Ad which is very plausible, very plausible. But I have come to a much simpler conclusion based on the very text which was either handed down to my generation, forced upon us or subtle induced.

Here is my topical take on the 7 delusional age of the church.