1 year ago

Follow along as RANKED reviews a new movie release every week of 2023, slowly compiling the best films of the year into our sacred hierarchical list.

Previous Episode 2023 RANKED List:
1. Beau Is Afraid
2. Infinity Pool
3. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
4. John Wick: Chapter 4
5. Air
6. Creed III
7. Shazam! Fury of the Gods
8. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
9. M3GAN
10. missing
11. Scream VI
12. The Super Mario Bros. Movie
13. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
14. Renfield
15. Evil Dead Rise
16. The Pope’s Exorcist
17. Magic Mike’s Last Dance
18. Knock at the Cabin
19. Plane
20. Cocaine Bear

Tetris is a movie that adores the video game whose story it tells, and yet also realizes that simple adoration isn’t enough. It contextualizes the socialist environment in which it was born while serving as a history lesson for any of you out there still naive enough to believe that communism is a good idea.
Just like Christianity, Capitalism understands you for what you are, a greedy, power hungry devil. Like a video game, it harnesses this competitive drive by rewarding problem solving: the more problems you solve, the more society rewards you with the capital to solve even more problems.

Meanwhile, Communism sees the inequality this breeds as a problem and therefore punishes those with a high score by redistributing their hard earned points to lesser players.

So even if someone makes a game that is loved by an entire planet, their income, and therefore the power to make more games or give to charity or whatever is squandered by the government so they can grow fatter while paying your lazy ass neighbor to keep taking days off work.

Meanwhile, this is a fun movie about a guy who is nothing like your neighbor and risks life and limb to bring a simple falling block game to the world. Go Tetris, go America, yea capitalism baby!!

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