TaradiseChic

TaradiseChic

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I’m Tara, Former Pres of Chic Riders of Ga, Tj & and, Real Estate Agent & Promotor 4 Clubs, Bands & Booked Ga Professional MMA Fights/Monthly! live, laugh, Love Until it Ended when I lost my family in 1 day 2016! 2 yrs later Found myself dying in ICU on 45th bday from Stroke. Honestly being Empath I knew I was in ICU & other side but could Hear, See everything around Me in ICU. Knew I was dying & glad the Severe Depression, PTSD, PANIC ATTACKS WERE ENDING! Saw Drs rushing in when my heart rate etc would crash. 3rd day I heard Dr said “There’s nothing Physical we found causing this Baby dying but spoke 2 her Psychiatrist who told Me about the Hell she’s been N LAST 2 Yrs, took care of her dying Army Ranger Brother 6+ yrs from Cancer she was inseparable from entire life. 1 day she found her Mama dead N Bed, had to tell her dying bro she’d been Hospice 4 6+yrs bcuz Vet affairs offered him Nothing, he was told he Only had 6 m to live tops, this Girl fought vet affairs & surgeons, Chemo drs who refused 2 do allow both, SHE couldn’t lose her other half/big bro she got him 6 surgeries along w/ 12 rounds of Chemo ( Poison she put in herself knowing dangers when the Chemo port leaked & had 2 stop poison while stopping his bleeding from neck artery at same time, the Hazmat suit, gloves, never got used she knew there was No time & did the impossible keeping him w/ her over 6 yrs instead of 6 m). She told EVERYBODY when she found her MamA/bff Dead , her Brother was going to die today too, nobody ever believed her empathic feelings, she was throwing up outside when her Mama was picked up by funeral home, saying “Todd’s dying” they’d say he’s not in any pain your just in shock! She said “I know he’s not in Pain cuz I’m taking all his pain from him, then stopped throwing up stood up said HES GONE, TODD JUST DIED” someone walked outside to tell her she fell down screaming “i Already Know, HES GONE, half of Me just died” the Hearse picking up her Mama was Still in Driveway. Her Dr said she’s been thru hell, she’d been picking up her Army Ranger Brother twice her size all day 4 yrs, hiding her injuries that were so bad she was rushed in surgery to connect her neck back together, she’d had 2 herniated disc pinching her spinal cord & c-1 nerve root they didn’t know how she was even walking much less picking up her big bro All day & Night. Took 3 drs all day trying to repair her neck. She had L broken ankle & torn lateral & bilateral meniscus in her L knee, HOW WAS SHE TOTING HIM? Anyway Dr said losing her family broke her. She had CLINICAL DEPRESSION, SEVERE PTSD, night terrors every night, panic attacks, She was just Lost like Part of Her Really did die that day & no medications worked- #AT LEAST WE KNOW WHATS KILLING HER CAUSED HER STROKE=STRESS! Omg My Dr just said I had a Stroke from Stress Only & I’m dying from Stress? Well my Heart is too big which gets me hurt your heart making decisions instead of your brain, But it’s how I was born. I got to thinking how Many thousands of my brothers & sisters are out here going thru hell ALONE AS I HAD & if their like Me they have No idea the Grim reapers w/ them, I surely COULDNT IMAGINE THE EMOTIONAL HELL I WAS STUCK IN LAST 2 years could actually Kill Me, BUT HERE I WAS WATCHING MYSELF DYING! My heart made a stupid choice choose others Over my own pain ending. I apologized to God forgave him for taking my family from Me & asked to stay, I CANT LEAVE KNOWING HOW MUCH DANGER SO MANY PPL ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER OF DYING WITH NO CLUE LIKE ME, plz let me live so I can open a Non-Profit & spend rest of My life Saving as Many of My brothers & sisters I can, EVEN IF I ONLY SAVE 1 life the Pain I suffer is worth it! Immediately I was Fully back in Icu & I felt all that pain hit my body I’d kinda escaped a lil from so getting it all back with a BOOM! Started Hollering Nurses rushed in saw my tears asked was I in pain, I nodded yes, CUZ I COULDN'T TALK OR MOVE, but got a Nod w/ fountain flowing from my eyes from insane pain, got big shot Morphine pain eased a lil I rolled over FINALLY SLEPT LIKE I HADNT SLEPT WITHOUT NIGHT TERRORS RELIEVING WORST DAY OF MY LIFE OF FAMILY DYING OVER & over like Groundhog Day. Slept like a baby for days hadn’t slept hardly in 2 yrs, But drs still were worried all week they might loose me & my sleeping confused them how is she Not terrified like us, she keeps crashing she glances over & goes right back to sleep like she knows something we don’t ( good thing I couldn’t talk to tell them don’t worry I’m not dying Promised God I would save others) they would’ve put me in mental institution after Long ICU stay! Smh

Next entire yr I had 3 nurses coming in my house every single day to teach Me the Really hard Shit, LIKE EATING, Talking, WALKING, ERC. YEP IT TOOK OVER A YEAR JUST TO BECOME A TODDLER AGAIN BUT NO MORE PTSD every night became once or twice weekly which don’t get Me wrong Night Terrors are No Joke you feel like your actually back relieving that worst day of my life down to how u felt to the Smells!

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Joined Sep 17, 2020

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