Unadjusted Records and Entertainment

A song about a plup little kitty! Lyrics- Got a call from my grandmas friend. She said she needed someone to look after a little kitten. But when i go to pick it up. And take the cat out of the carrier. My eyes were in for a hefty surprise. Little fat kitty cat! His paws can barely touch the ground! (They barely touch the ground!) Little fat kitty cat! You could get around easier if you just rolled around. I took the fuzzy flabby cat home and pat my hand on the couch. Saying he could sit next to me. But he tried jumping up but just fell over on his back. Then he proceeded to go to sleep! Little fat kitty cat! Your snoring is really loud! (How does he snore so loud?!) Little fat kitty cat. I put my soda on your belly and you can be my fuzzy table. The puffy chubby cat does not ever seem like he could do much. But when i ask if he wants treats then he comes over to me in a rush. One time i order mexican food and put it on the counter. I turn my back only to find that he can jump up there. As that fat little fuzzy asshole eats my tacos! Oh ho no! Little fat kitty cat! I cant believe you ate all my food! (You ate all of my tacos?!) Little fat kitty cat! You passed out and fell asleep in your litter box. Little fat kitty cat! You rolled around in your sleep and now your covered in crap!

A couple have a wild night trying something new. Lyrics- Girl it is time i turn the lights down low. Yes thats right i have laid out rose petals all the way to the bed. Which as you notice i have covered in plastic. Because girl you are in for one wild night. I got Cleveland steamer fever! Yes i have been infected with a lot of rice and beans! Cleveland steamer fever! Look out honey i am about to blow! Now girl dont you be trying to get out of this! You said you were willing to try something new! And i ate all of those bean burritos. And i am ready to make stool! Awww yeah yeah honey! I got Cleveland steamer fever! I laid down the plastic cause i am going to make a mess right here! Cleveland steamer fever! I am going to have a loose mud baby all over your chest! GOOD GAWD!!! Unclench my cheeks! And i force a push! So dont you dare frown! As i take you to brown town! Ugghhh! Uhh! Uhh uhh! I got Cleveland steamer fever! I just covered you in chocolate butt pudding! Cleveland steamer fever! Now clean yourself up honey you smell like shit! (And dont track that shit throughout the house that is just nasty!)

A man in a van has some very sweaty balls. Lyrics, I was in a mini van driving down the road. One hundred degree weather. And the air conditioner was on the fritz too! I got sweat all around me. Sweat getting in my eyes! I have a big pool of sweat. Forming down under my thighs. I got sweaty! Sweaty! Sweaty! Sweaty balls! Sweaty! Sweaty! Sweaty balls! My shorts feel like a sauna. For my wrinkly nut sack! They are bakin like potatoes. Marinating in sweat stew! I have been sweating for so long that my balls are really stinkin! And i have found that no amount of cologne will help! I got sweaty! Sweaty! Sweaty! Sweaty balls! Sweaty! Sweaty! Sweaty balls! They are stuck to my thigh now. I have to pull them apart! Lucky for me. I brought this spatula! Hmm mmm mmm mmm! Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhhh! Ohhh ohh ohh ohh! Sweaty balls! Sweaty balls! Sweaty balls! (I so totally have a bad case of sweaty balls!)

A tale of a snake that got to travel beyond the skies. Lyrics, Oh slippery, slithery snake. A government henchman has got a hold of you. Takes you to a strange place. They fit you in a space suit. Give you no formal training. Somehow I dont think this is a good idea. You are going to be the first snake in space. You going to float around in a sea of stars. I dont know if the government should spend money on stuff like this? Sounds like a bad idea to me! Launch day is here. The rocky blast off. It tears the firmament. Leaving the earth behind. The snake gets out of his suit. Floats to the control panel. Gets electrocuted and burst into flames. Oh first snake in space. You were supposed to traverse the stars. But now you are a crispy critter. And you crashed the rocket into the moon. The moon men are pissed at us again. No one listened to me when i said this was a dumb ass idea. But you guys said "A snake in space could be great." Now we have lost millions in tax payer dollars. For the first snake in space. (You had to carve your story among the stars in the sky.)

A man falls for a girl who doesn't even know he is around. Lyrics, Girl i know you dont know me. But girl i know about you. A week ago i broke into your attic. Now i cant stop trying to hear about you. I am living in your attic while you watch tv. I sometimes come down and watch you when you sleep. Sometimes i eat some food in the pantry. And though you dont know me. I do want to get to know you better Know you much better. Hear you going to leave for work. I take this time to come down and take a shower. Also time i got some new clothes. Your silk dresses seem to fit me the best. When you come back from work. I race to the attic. Keep the door open a peak. To see you come back from a long day. I am living in your attic while you watch tv. I sometimes come down and watch you when you sleep. Sometimes i eat some food in the pantry. And though you dont know me. I do want to get to know you better Know you much better. One day i want to make myself known to you. Take you out and show you the world. But for now i will watch you when i can. Someday this stranger in the attic wants to be your man.

A man finds true but taboo love in a department store. Lyrics, I am a man who has wants and needs. Girls are beautiful but dont catch my eye it seems. But then there is you my department store vixen. I want to feel your plastic touch because this old flesh heart needs fixing. I want to talk to her softly, in the dead of night, Confesses my secrets, under fluorescent light. I dreams of adventures, with my mannequin queen, In a world of window displays, where love's never been seen. I fell in love with a mannequin. I am just the guy to make her happy. I will take her away from this glass paneled prison. And make her plastic heart beat cause i feel a soul underneath. I see you and how you look at me. Your wife is wearing overalls and looking frumpy. I can dress my princess like Sailor Moon. I know your jealous. I am not a weirdo. I am in love with a mannequin you know. Whoooooooooooa! Woo Hoo Doo Momoo!

A man tries to take his girl out but things are just hard to afford. Damn economy always getting worse! Lyrics, Girl i know you mean a lot to me. Every thought i have set on you. You deserve the finer things. I try to do the best i do. But everything is just so expensive. I am also a bit short of funds. I left my job to sell oranges down the street. Aint nobody buying none. Girl i know you wanted to go to Florida. You wanted to go to Universal Studios. But how about instead. I take you to the dollar tree in the strip mall close to where we live. Cause everything is just so expensive. I am also a bit short of funds. I left my job to sell oranges down the street. Aint nobody buying none. Instead of going to France. Lets go to the library. Instead of eating out at a fancy restaurant. Lets go dumpster diving at Dairy Queen. Instead of going clothes shopping. We can steal the clothes off scarecrows in corn fields. But everything is just so expensive. I am also a bit short of funds. I left my job to sell oranges down the street. Aint nobody buying none. Money is not everything. But love dont come cheap. So girl give me a discount on your love. Cause everything is just so expensive.

A tale of chicken wings. Badda Bing Badda Boom. Hey yo! Lyrics, Gather round i gots a story to tell. About a little old place that you know well. I used to have a job at the Burger King. Well i did until what i did last week. I had to check the freezer and what do i see? Tons and tons of chicken wings! Skaaba DeLow. Badda ladda bing. I stole seven thousand dollars worth of chicken wings. I dont know what possessed me. I dont know why i did it. I didnt even have enough room in my freezer at home to fit only a couple of boxes in. So most of them are spoiled right now. Burger king they let me go. Obviously because of politics you know? But darn it for the next three weeks. I am going to have some chicken wings. Snorey galore. Skappa lappo zing. I stole seven thousand dollars worth of chicken wings. Ooooooo from burger king! Doo do doo do doo! Badda boom badda bing! Chicken wings!

A man just wants what he is owed. What is so wrong about that? Lyrics, Everyone can be a friend in need. Especially in need of money. But i am a very fair and generous man. I will lend money if you pay it back. But some folks can often be some dirty snakes in the grass. Sometimes i give a friendly reminder. "Hey when you gonna pay?" But there are only so many friendly reminders. Even a generous man like me can give. If you dont pay me what you owe. I am going to sizzle your balls. With a car battery and a set of jumper cables. A couple of zaps to the balls. You will pay in one way. Your balls are smoking. You see i am not joking. Some people just ask why i lend money in the freaking first place? Well i just have a question for them. What else am i supposed to do with all these batteries and jumper cables? (Wheres my money?)

A homeless man gets a new outfit. Looking good! Lyrics (One night during an evening shift at KFC things got a little twisted. As this very night was the day of Ronnie the chicken.) A tale of a homeless man smelling like pee. Needed some new clothes went to the salvation army. The clerk there gave him a chicken suit. Now Ronnie is sporting a new look. Kickin the glass door at KFC. Ronnie the chicken is armed with a water gun full of pee. Holding up the clerk for money and chicken bites. The legend of Ronnie the chicken was born that night. Armed and ready with a water gun full of pee. Ronnie the chicken is on the scene. His homeless antics are known by all. Ronnie the chicken is having a ball. (Now the cops have cornered Ronnie the chicken at a waffle house. The cops draw their guns and take aim. But Ronnie the chicken squirts them with pee.) The cops are pissed. In more than one way. Ronnie the chicken threatens to lay an egg. He pulls down his pants and takes a squat. But....thats not an egg...thats a turd! Armed and ready with a water gun full of pee. Ronnie the chicken is on the scene. He is not a real chicken so he cant lay eggs. But he left a brown nugget on the pavement.

A man grabs a piece of dog poop and uses it as a brown crayon to draw on his grandpas car then tries to blame it on the dog. Lyrics Grandpa's station wagon, shiny and clean, But I had a wild idea, a little obscene. Found some doggie doo, on the neighbor's lawn, Got an urge to draw, before the break of dawn. Doodlin' with doo-doo, on grandpa's car, Blamin' it on the dog, takin' it too far. Lewd pictures and shapes, drawn with flair, Grandpa's in for a surprise, when he sees it there. I'm Picasso with poo, an artist with style, But grandpa won't appreciate, my creative wile. I blame it on Rover, the innocent pup, But deep down we both know, I messed things up. Doodlin' with doo-doo, on grandpa's car, Blamin' it on the dog, takin' it too far. Lewd pictures and shapes, drawn with flair, Grandpa's in for a surprise, when he sees it there. Grandpa's gonna be mad, when he sees the mess, But I can't help but chuckle, I must confess. A prank gone wrong, but worth the laugh, I'll clean it up quick, before he blows his gaff. Doodlin' with doo-doo, on grandpa's car, Blamin' it on the dog, takin' it too far. Lewd pictures and shapes, drawn with flair, Grandpa's in for a surprise, when he sees it there. Oh and i didnt wash my hands grand pappy. Tee hee! And i start to wash off his car with my pee. Ohhhhhhhooooooo Baaaabbbyyyyyy! Drawings in brown!

There was a mistake at a birthday party. Whoopsy doodles! Lyrics In the hall, got a call, birthday cake, for them all, But he slipped, made a trip, wrong box, what a flip. Sent the dog, cold and stiff, to the party, what a gift, Kids and folks, all confused, what a sight, feeling abused. Dead dog, instead of cake, Baker’s got a big mistake. Party’s buzzed, feeling glum, What’s gone wrong, oh so dumb. Parents gasp, kids all stare, not the cake, it's unfair, Timmy’s tears, what a scene, birthday wish, turned obscene. Baker Bob, runs to fix, realizes, what he nixed, Too late now, damage done, birthday’s turned, on the run. Dead dog, instead of cake, Baker’s got a big mistake. Party’s buzzed, feeling glum, What’s gone wrong, oh so dumb. Mixed the boxes, lost the fun, Timmy’s birthday, on the run. Baker's rushing, heart’s a thud, Trying to fix, what he’s undone. Dead dog, instead of cake, Baker’s got a big mistake. Party’s buzzed, feeling glum, What’s gone wrong, oh so dumb. Why did this have to happen? This is a joyous celebration. Why did you have a dead dog in your home? You should have known something is up it was a tight fit in the cake box. Ooooooouuuuoooo The dogs organs have dripped on my socks.

When a man loves a cat. It is magic! MAGIC! Lyrics By the bushes i see you walking around. Acting like you own this town. Many people have pet on you kitty. But aint no one going to pet you like me. Strangers hands reach out to touch your fur. Trying their best to make you purr. I will make you purr for me. Ooooh i am here for this moment. Everybody here wants to make you their kitty. Everybody here thinks your pretty. But i will always be here to show you. How much you mean to me. Sitting in a chair on this cold night. Jump in my lap and hold me tight. I want you to feel free for me. I am here, here for this moment. Everybody here wants to make you their kitty. Everybody here thinks your pretty. But i will always be here to show you. How much you mean to me. I will be the one to hear your cries. Because your my kitty. I will kiss you and i will hug you. I will show you what you mean to me. My love. I want you to see. Want you to see. How much this kitty means to me. And i ascend to the those heavenly places that you bring me in. I know I do... I know i do.... Everybody here wants to make you their kitty. Everybody here thinks your pretty. But i will always be here to show you. How much you mean to me. (And kitty i will be here to always show you how much i love you.)

A tale about a boy trying to teach his dog new tricks. Lyrics Boy and brown dog walk down the street. Boy wants to teach his dog new tricks. Getting tired of playing fetch. Wants to see the dog on a skate board. Oooo Now the dog was placed on the skate board. Now this dog he flew down hill The people stared on the side. The people cheered as they saw the dog zip by. Ohwee Sparks the stunt dog. Flying down the highway on a skateboard at a high speed. People watching as his fur flaps in the breeze. Oh Sparks hang on. There is a lot that can go wrong. Now Sparks is coming to a stop sign. Now Sparks is zipping through the red light. Right into a Cadillac. Sparks body it goes splickity splat. Sparks is on the pavement. Sparks is in the air. Pieces of Sparks are all over the highway. And the people just go throughout their day. Sparks the stunt dog. Learning to play dead the hard way. Just keep on skating. In puppy dog heaven.

A man remembers the day he found his lucky charm and the love of his life. Lyrics "Oooohhhhooo... Oooouuuhhhoooo..." I was outside the subway. Just feeling alone and killing time. A big rat ran by my feet. Pissed me off a lot. I took my pocket knife and started cutting off the rats head. But when i looked up i noticed you and you caught me by surprise. (Thats when i knew...) This is my lucky rats head. This is my favorite charm. The day i found it was the day i met you. I now always carry my luck rats head. Ahhhhaaaaaaaahhhh! Lucky rats head! It kind of stinks and there is always flies around. The fur is peeling off. But otherwise its fine. My lucky rats head will accompany me till the end of time. I never want to lose you now. Oh i oh iiiii never want to lose you now. My lucky rats head. My lucky rats head. Your still as beautiful as the day i cut that rats head off. Through thick and thin i would say we have been through a lot. I could tell you how lucky i am but honestly everything has been said. I still believe i owe it all to my lucky rats head. Mhhhhhmmmm ooooooOOOoo!

A song about giving a son what he needs...and he needs his medicine. Lyrics Now hey there son what ya doing? On the computer with my credit card? Oh me oh my i now plainly see. You order 70 dollars worth of pokemon card. You should have known better than go behind my back. So now it time for ol Dad to beat your ass. So stand up straight and come right here. Its time to take your medicine. Here is 10 c c's of fist to the face. A prescription for a foot to your nutsack. Heres a script for a slap to the face. Then i kick him in the back when hes down. Now son i know you just had your medicine. But i am afraid i will have to administer another dose. You didnt even see what you were ordering. All these pokemon cards are all bootlegs. (See son there is no such thing as a pokemon called Porkychu!) I have to give you a shot of my fist to your belly. Grab you by the throat. Toss you into the couch. And leave a hole in the wall. Take your medicine. No its not child abuse. I dont think its a sin. Sometimes my son needs lots of medicine. Porkychu really? You wont even be able to use these cards in tournaments my boy. But you will never make this mistake again. As long as i give you your medicine.

A song about giving a son what he needs...and he needs his medicine. Lyrics Now hey there son what ya doing? On the computer with my credit card? Oh me oh my i now plainly see. You order 70 dollars worth of pokemon card. You should have known better than go behind my back. So now it time for ol Dad to beat your ass. So stand up straight and come right here. Its time to take your medicine. Here is 10 c c's of fist to the face. A prescription for a foot to your nutsack. Heres a script for a slap to the face. Then i kick him in the back when hes down. Now son i know you just had your medicine. But i am afraid i will have to administer another dose. You didnt even see what you were ordering. All these pokemon cards are all bootlegs. (See son there is no such thing as a pokemon called Porkychu!) I have to give you a shot of my fist to your belly. Grab you by the throat. Toss you into the couch. And leave a hole in the wall. Take your medicine. No its not child abuse. I dont think its a sin. Sometimes my son needs lots of medicine. Porkychu really? You wont even be able to use these cards in tournaments my boy. But you will never make this mistake again. As long as i give you your medicine.

A man knows how to drive his girl wild. Grrrr! Lyrics Oh yeah girl you are the light of my life. And everything is going just fine. But i thought i would add a little spice to our love lif. I know exactly what you want and need. I go to the closet slowly. Pick out what i know you like me to wear. Strip off most of my clothing. Then i proceed to dress like a bear. I know you have a thing for the bear costume. I see those goosebumps when you rub my fur for sure. I do a little dance and sing a little tune. Then get down on all fours and i bear my soul to you. No one could understand our connection. I would appreciate if you dont tell anyone about this. Let us make this our little secret. I guess you could say you bring out the animal in me. Grrrrr! I know you have a thing for the bear costume. I see those goosebumps when you rub my fur for sure. I do a little dance and sing a little tune. Then get down on all fours and i bear my soul to you. I will ride you around like a horsey. I can pick you up and give you a piggy back ride. But when i give you bear hugs. You whisper for me to take my time. (My girl is a furry!)

A man gets bad customer service and request a refund. I know i have been there...... Lyrics Walked into a restaurant. It was understaffed. Ordered a steak. Took an hour an a half. I ate the the steak and it was kind of burned. So i grabbed the manager by the shirt and i demanded a refund. I WANNA REFUND Look into my eyes and tell me i am lying. I WANNA REFUND! The manager said he couldnt. He was fixing to get the back of my hand. But then he said to me. "I can give you a store credit," I WANNA REFUND Put your credit where the sun dont shine. I WANT A REFUND! I shoved over chairs. I kicked tables around. I threw the gift card display. I called the manager bad names. I WANNA REFUND Uhhh bad boy I WANNA REFUND! Seriously stop being stubborn and give me a damn refund!

A song about a man experiencing a regular tuesday at Applebees. Lyrics Eating shrimp at Applebees and feel my bladder swell. I go to the bathroom and piss in the sink. The manager saw i can tell. He punches me as i go to my seat. Pissin' in the sink at Applebee’s, Feelin' like a rebel, doin' as I please. Manager caught me, eyes filled with rage, But this was just the turning of a new page. He grabbed me by the collar, yelled, “What the hell you doin'?” But I had a steak knife, and things started brewin’. Stabbed him in the balls, listened to him scream. I said oh good lord this must all be a dream. I pissed on the dishes, pissed on the floor, Markin' my territory, like never before. Staff ran out screamin', chaos in the air, But I stood there laughin', without a single care. I dance in puddles of yellow. My heart has secrets untold. You can tell by the strong urine smell now. In the sink i pissed liquid gold. I pissed in the sink at Applebees Weeeeeeweeeewwweeeeeeweeeo Its the ultimate wet dream. Drippin with a bright yellow sheen.