It Came From The Bargain Bin

Captain S Melly has been sent to a mixed anti-aircraft battery. His mission? To instill a sense of order in the troops, who are more concerned with capturing the opposite sex than the enemy.

Kenneth and Barbara introduce clips from all the Carry On movie. The two regulars converse at the Rank Film building to host the film with their own running gags involving Barbara's "assets" and Kenneth's desperate need of a toilet.

The beautiful and sex-starved Emmannuelle Prevert just cannot inflame her husband's ardour. In frustration she seduces a string of VIPs, including the Prime Minister and the American Ambassador. A jealous lover gives a list of all her conquests to the national press and a scandal ensues. But will she ever manage to get her own husband into bed?

Professors Vooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the film ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.

A female cop goes undercover in a high price whorehouse to find a murderer and discovers she likes the assignment more than she should.

This is the tale of industrial strife at WC Boggs' Lavatory factory. Vic Spanner is the union representative who calls a strike at the drop of a hat; eventually everyone has to get fed up with him. This is also the ideal opportunity for lots of lavatorial jokes...

After having just wed Marie of Normandy, Henry VIII's eager to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately, she's always eating garlic, and refuses to stop. Deciding to get rid of her - in his usual manner, Henry must find some way of doing it without provoking war with Marie's cousin, the King of France.

The Wedded Bliss computer dating agency aims to bring together the lonely hearts of Much-Snogging on-the-Green. Its owner, Sidney Bliss, has enough complications in his own love life, but still produces a pamphlet called "The Wit to Woo". The strange collection of hopefuls leads to some outlandish matches, and jealousies are bound to lead to trouble.

Lady Evelyn Bagley mounts an expedition to find her long-lost baby. Bill Boosey is the fearless hunter and guide. Prof. Tinkle is searching for the rare Oozalum bird. Everything is going swimmingly until a gorilla enters the camp.

Dr Nookey is disgraced and sent to a remote island hospital. He is given a secret slimming potion by a member of staff, Gladstone Screwer, and he flies back to England to fame and fortune. But others want to cash in on his good fortunes, and some just want him brought down a peg or two.

Sid and Bernie keep having their amorous intentions snubbed by their girlfriends Joan and Anthea. The boys suggest a camping holiday, secretly intending to take them to a nudist camp. Of course they end up in the wrong place, and meet up with the weirdest bunch of campers you can imagine! Coach loads of sex-starved schoolgirls and bands of hippies all add to the laughs.

Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khyber Pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe. But the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas. He wants all the British dead! But his troops fear the "skirted-devils"; they are rumoured not to wear anything underneath. Then one is caught with his pants on...

The popular Dr Kilmore is sacked after being discovered in a compromising position on the roof of the nurses' home. The patients are determined not to lose him, and so take on the might of the "cutting" Dr Tinkle and the overpowering Matron.

The sinister Dr Watt has an evil scheme going. He's kidnapping beautiful young women and turning them into mannequins to sell to local stores. Fortunately for Dr Watt, Detective-Sergeant Bung is on the case, and he doesn't have a clue! In this send up of the Hammer Horror movies, there are send-ups of all the horror greats from Frankenstein to Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

The time of the French revolution, and Citizen Robespierre is beheading the French aristocracy. When word gets to England, two noblemen, Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy take it upon themselves to aid there French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes "the black fingernail", scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police...

Bertram Oliphant West (also known as Bo West) wants to clear his unjustly smeared reputation. He joins the Foreign Legion, with Simpson his manservant in tow. But the fort they get posted to is full of eccentric legionnaires, and there is trouble brewing with the locals too. Unbeknown to Bo, his lady love has followed him in disguise...

Two Britons are captured and enslaved by invading Romans and taken to Rome. Hengist Pod creates useless inventions, while Horsa is a brave and cunning fighter. One of their first encounters in Rome leaves Hengist being mistaken for a fighter, and gets drafted into the Royal Guard to protect Caesar. Cleo doesn't want him around and plots for his sudden demise...

In the American Old West, there is no shooting, fighting, boozing, gambling, etc. in Stodge City on the order of Judge Burke, the mayor, which means there is little work for the extremely nearsighted and deaf Sheriff Albert Earp. That all changes with the arrival into town of Johnny Finger, better known as the Rumpo Kid, a criminal who has a shoot to kill first, ask no questions after mentality, he and his associates who take over the town in he entering into a relationship with Belle Armitage, the hotel operator. In the Judge asking Washington for a peace marshal, they send Marshal P. Knutt, just arrived from England, to "clean up" the town. However, it is case of mistaken identity as the authorities in Washington believed he was *a* marshal and not named Marshal, who in turn thinks he was hired to clean up the town in his profession as a sanitation engineer first class aka a plumber. In his further mistaken belief that he was able to subdue some marauding Indians single-handedly, Marshal, despite being a nervous sort, does accept the job of marshal upon his arrival. He gets some assistance in the matter by his fellow coach passenger into town, a demure, dainty woman by the name of Annie Oakley

A top secret chemical formula has been stolen by STENCH (the Society for the Total Extinction of Non-Conforming Humans), and so Agent Simpkins and his three trainees are hot on the trail, chasing the villains across the world. There are gadgets galore, and disguises are compulsory if the heroes are to win the day from The Fat Man, Dr Milchman and Dr Crow!

The Helping Hands agency employs some very strange people to perform some very strange jobs! Even the simplest of tasks get bungled by the incompetent but lovable staff, as they get given jobs ranging from taking animals for walks (no ordinary animals you understand) to demonstrating new products at a large and prestigious exhibition.

Pupils run amok at Maudlin Street School in an attempt to hang on to their headmaster. He has applied for a new job, but the students like him and don't want to lose him. They concoct a plan - blacken his record in front of the Ministry Inspector and then he won't ever be able to get another job!

Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.

Set in Haven Hospital where a certain men's ward is causing more havoc than the whole hospital put together. The formidable Matron's debut gives the patients a chill every time she walks past, with only Reckitt standing up to her. There's a colonel who is a constant nuisance, a bumbling nurse, a romance between Ted York and Nurse Denton, and Bell who wants his bunion removed straight away, so after drinking alcohol, the men decide to remove the bunion themselves!

With a flu epidemic running rife, three new bumbling recruits are assigned to Inspector Mills police station. With help from Special Constable Gorse, they manage to totally wreck the operations of the police force and let plenty of criminals get away, even before they arrive at the station. They all have to prove themselves or else they'll be out of a job and Sergeant Wilkins will be transferred. Sub-plots include romances between Wilkins and Moon, Constable and Passworthy.

Sergeant Grimshawe wants to retire in the flush of success by winning the Star Squad prize with his very last platoon of newly called-up National Servicemen. But what a motley bunch they turn out to be.