SMASHPOUNDX' CREEKY PROJECTOR

1931 directed by Alfred Hitchcock starring Henry Kendall and Joan Barry. Adapted from the 1930 novel by Dale Collins. The title is an allusion to the song "Full fathom five" from Shakespeare's The Tempest. Plot A London couple live a mundane middle-class existence. But that changes upon receipt of a letter informing them an uncle will advance them as much money as they need to enjoy themselves now rather than after his passing.

1938 British directed by Alfred Hitchcock, starring Margaret Lockwood and Michael Redgrave, based on the 1936 novel The Wheel Spins by Ethel Lina White. A young tourist travelling by train discovers that her elderly companion seems to have disappeared and everyone denies having seen her.

1931 directed by Fritz Lang and starring in Peter Lorre in his third film. Little kiddies are disappearing and police are on the lookout for the depraved creep, and no one is more depraved and creepier than Peter Lorre.

1924 American directed by Raoul Walsh and starring Douglas Fairbanks, Snitz Edwards with Brandpn Hurst and Noble Johnson. adapted from One Thousand and One Nights, it tells the story of a thief who falls in love with the daughter of the Caliph of Baghdad (uh-oh, she likes the bad boys). In 1996, the film was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.

1934 British spy thriller directed by Alfred Hitchcock, featuring Leslie Banks, Edna Best, Peter Lorre, Nova Pilbean and Frank Vosper. It was one of the most successful and critically acclaimed films of Hitchcock's British period. The film is Hitchcock's first film using this title and was followed later with his own 1956 film using the same name featuring a different plot and starring Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day. A British couple on a trip to Switzerland with their daughter befriend a Frenchman named Louis who is staying at their hotel. That evening, Louis is shot as Jill dances with him. Before he dies, he tells Jill where to find a note intended for the British consul; she in turn tells her hubby. Hubby reads the note, which warns of a planned, international crime. Now the fun begins.

1928 directed by Tod Browning, starring Lon Chaney, Lionel Barrymore, Mary Nolan and Warner Baxter, based on a play called Kongo by Charles de Vonde and Kilbourn Gordon. Chaney is a stage magician named Phroso who becomes paralyzed in a brawl with an ivory trader (Lionel Barrymore) over his wife, who runs away with Barrymore, (the saucy wench). However, Barrymore, who’s even saucier than the wench, skips out on her after getting her preggers and Chaney finds her dead in a church clutching a crying baby. Thinking the baby is Barrymore’s, Chaney plots revenge and no one can revenge like Lon Chaney. The film cost $249,000 to produce. Its gross was $921,000. The film was released both silent and with sound effects and a synchronized music score.

1924 directed by Victor Sjöström (credited as Victor Seastrom) starring Lon Chaney, Norma Shearer and John Gilbert. The film was written by Victor Seastrom and Carey Wilson, based on the Russian play He Who Gets Slapped by Leonid Andreyev. It was the first film produced by the newly formed Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Chaney is a scientist who has labored for years to prove his theories on the origin of mankind. Baron Regnard (Marc McDermott) becomes his patron, enabling him to do research while living in his mansion. Finally, he announces to his wife and his patron that he has proved his theories and is ready to present them before the Academy of the Sciences. Unfortunately, his wife is a treacherous broad who steals his papers and gives them to the Baron. Chaney is aghast when his patron takes the credit for his research, and even more aghast when he discovers his wife has been diddling the patron. When Lon Chaney is aghast, strange things happen…

1935 Western film produced by Harry S. Webb for Reliable Pictures, directed by Bernard B. Ray and starring Jack Perrin, Tina Menard (in the girl part) Frank Rice, William Gould, Fern Emmett, Elias Lazaroff, Robert Walker as Henchman Joe, Jimmy Aubrey as Henchman Dick, (Heh) and Rosemary Joye in the other girl part. A cowboy meets up with a bandit gang. Taken captive, he is rescued by Don Carlos, and together with a young thing named Lolita, they join forces to fight the seedy gang’s villainous intentions.

1952 directed by Phil Karlson starring John Payne, Preston Foster, Lee Van Cleef, Neville Brand, Jack Elam and Coleen Gray in the girl part. WWII vet and all-around tough guy John Payne gets set up for an armed robbery. He loses his job delivering pansies and is thrown in the slammer for several days, where dumbo-cops rough him up while attempting to make him spill the beans. Duly chagrined after being let out, he sets out to find the four mugs who set him up.

1933 directed by T. Hayes Hunter starring Boris Karloff, Ernest Thesiger, Cedric Hardwicke, Dorothy Hyson, Anthony Bushell, Kathleen Harrison, Harold Huth, D.A. Clarke-Smith and Ralph Richardson. Shortly before the eerie Professor Morlant dies, he instructs his faithful servant to strap a rare Egyptian jewel, called the Eternal Light, into his hand in the belief that it will raise him from the dead. When the jewel is stolen, he rises without its help and seeks the thief.

1935 directed by Christy Cabanne starring Charley Grapewin, Mary Carlisle, Arthur Hohl, Wallace Ford, Lucien Littlefield, Regis Toomey, Hedda Hopper, Evaly Knapp and Fred Kelsey. An eccentric millionaire, (code-word for asshole) is unable to locate his only granddaughter, so he decides to divide his estate among a group of people less close to him, (code-word for “he hates their guts and wants to screw them”). But then the granddaughter shows up and suddenly he’s all love and kisses.

1932 directed by H. Bruce Humberstone starring Zasu Pitts, James Gleason, Ben Lyon, Irene Purcell, C. Henry Gordon, Raymond Hatton, Robert Frazer and Christian Rub (a-dub-dub). A group of amateur sleuths set out to expose a group of seedy, hooded occultists known as The Crooked Circle, who disguise their identities with hoods.

1952 directed by Phil Karlson starring John Payne, Preston Foster, Lee Van Cleef, Neville Brand, Jack Elam and Coleen Gray in the girl part. WWII vet and all-around tough guy John Payne gets set up for an armed robbery. He loses his job delivering pansies and is thrown in the slammer for several days, where dumbo-cops rough him up while attempting to make him spill the beans. Duly chagrined after being let out, he sets out to find the four mugs who set him up.

1951 written and directed by Curt Siodmak (who also wrote The Wolfman, Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman, Son of Dracula, I Walked with a Zombie) starring Lon Chaney Jr., Raymond Burr, Tom Conway, Paul Cavanaugh, Woody Strode and Barbara Peyton, Carol Varga, Felippa Rock, Moyna McGill and Gisela Werbisek, (yes, that’s WERBISEK), in the girl parts. Villainous plantation owner Burr murders his foreman in order to get his paws on his lusty wife. Unfortunately, the deed is witnessed by an old, native witch, (Wersibek) and she puts a curse on him so that he turns into a gorilla-like beast, which ruins everything.

1949 Western directed by Wallace Fox starring Duncan Renaldo The Cisco Kid, aka The Gay Amigo (ostensibly because he’s merry, NOT because…well, you know, the OTHER thing). Also starring Leo Carillo, Fred Kohler Jr., (as Brack – a name not a thing), Fred Crane as Henchman Duke Clayton Moore as someone other than the Lone Ranger, and the lovely Armida in the girl part. Cisco and and his buddy Pancho, (okay, maybe it is the other thing) are innocently roaming around the border of Arizona and Mexico when they observe the U.S. Cavalry pursuing a band of banditos into Mexico. Doing a bit of investigating they discover the whole thing is a clever ploy and that the U.S. Cavalry is up to no good.

1936 British comedy directed by William Beaudine and starring Will Hay, Moore Marriott, Graham Moffatt, Kenith Warrington, Dennis Wyndham and Norma Varden and Amy Vaness in the girl parts. (Hay, Moffatt and Moore and also played together in a film called “Dandy Dick.” Heh!) Ben Cutlet is a retired barge captain who brags about his days on the dangerous sees, which are all lies as he spent his entire career commanding a coal barge on a river. Unfortunately, his stories gets him embroiled with seedy villains who force him to steer a real ship involved in dangerous, criminal activities.

1947 directed by John Rawlins starring Ralph Byrd, Jack Lambert, Lyle Latell, Kay Christopher, Ian Keith, Bernadene Hayes, Jimmy Conlin, William Davidson and Tony Barrett. Dick Tracy investigates a series of “mixed crimes” (celebrating diversity in the crime community?) in which the seedy “Claw” is involved.

1945 directed by William Burke starring Morgan Conway, the busty Anne Jeffreys, Mike Mazurki, Jane Greer, Lyle Latell, Joseph Crehan and Mickey Kuhn. A series of brutal murders, (as opposed to the soft, gentle ones) brings the ace detective into conflict with the seedy Splitface.

1947 directed by John Rawlins starring Ralph Byrd, Boris Karloff, Anne Gwynne, Edward Ashley, June Clayworth, Lyle Latell, Tony Barrett, Skelton Knaggs, Joseph Crehan and Milton Parsons. A nerve gas developed by a butt-ugly scientist attracts the attention of a gang of seedy individuals including Gruesome, played with great sensitivity and feeling by Boris Karloff

1946 directed by Gordon Douglas starring Morgan Conway as Dick Tracy, Dick Wessel as Cueball, the busty Anne Jeffreys as Tess Trueheart, Lyle Latell as Pat Patton, Rita Corday as Mona Clyde, Ian Keith as Vitamin Flintheart, Douglas Walton as Percival Priceless, Esther Howard as Filthy Flora, Joseph Crehan as Chief Brandon, Byron Foulger as Simon Little and Jimmy Crane as Junior. Just out of the “Pen,” the magnificently bald Cueball goes after a trail of seedy individuals whom he believes are trying to swindle him out of his take of some hot rocks.

1933 directed by Victor Schertzinger starring Conrad Nagel, Leila Hyams, Tommy Conlon, Claire Windsor, Stanley Fields. After an actress leaves her husband and son for greener pastures, the seedy broad gets what she deserves and meets an untimely death from a fire (roast piggy). The husband and son carry on, meeting another dame who’s strong, talented and faithful, (just like it happens in real life). Described as a “poverty row epic,” this little film from Tiffany Studios covers a lot of ground and packs a lot of drama in its short duration. Also known as “The Constant Woman.”

1952 directed by Phil Karlson starring John Payne, Preston Foster, Lee Van Cleef, Neville Brand, Jack Elam and Coleen Gray in the girl part. WWII vet and all-around tough guy John Payne gets set up for an armed robbery. He loses his job delivering pansies, (flowers not gay-boys) and is thrown in the slammer for several days, where the dumbo-cops rough him up while attempting to make him spill the beans. Duly chagrined after being let out, he sets out to find the four filthy mugs who set him up.

1935 directed by Leni Riefenstahl starring Adolph Hitler with star appearances by Herman Goering, Josef Goebbels, Max Amann, Martin Bormann, Walter Buch, Heinrich Himmler and thousands of adoring Germans. The Fuhrer decsends from the clouds to bless the German people with several days of speeches and fanfare while Nazis step in time to celebrate the takeover of the Nazi death-cult. Sieg Heil, everybody!

1961 directed by Roger Corman starring Antony Carbone, Betsy Jones-Moreland, Robert Towne, Beach Dickerson, Robert Bean, Esther Sandoval, Sonia Noemi Gonzalez (say that rapidly ten times in a row) and Edmundo Rivera Alvarez. Secret agent XK150 joins the oddball crew of a seedy crook who’s been hired by anti-Castro rebels to help them smuggle the state treasury out of Cuba. Everything goes wrong, of course, and oh yes, there’s also a monster! Rare excursion into comedy by director Corman, filmed in Puerto Rico along with The Last Woman on Earth and Battle of Blood Island. The Creature was made from a wetsuit, some moss, Brillo pads, tennis balls for the eyes, ping-pong balls for the pupils and pipe-cleaners for the claws.

1941 British film directed by Walter Forde based on the 1923 play by Arnold Ridley, starring Arthur Askey, Richard Murdoch, Kathleen Harrison, Peter Murray-Hill, Carole Lynne, Moreland Graham, Betty Jardine and Wallace Bosco, (that’s not all the actors but, phew! On a dark and stormy night a group of travelers are stranded at an isolated train depot where, supposedly, a phantom train passes every night at midnight.