Oily TrashMovies

Oily TrashMovies Episode 23: Grimcutty (2022) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Grimcutty, a Slenderman ripoff about a creepypasta meme that comes to life. This film is written by boomers who fall for 4chan memes and stars 30yr old women trying to pass as teenagers. Grimcutty spends the movie hunting down teenagers who spend all day on their phone, so is he really the bad guy? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Bonus Episode 4: Barbie & Kendra Storm Area 51 (2020) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch THE Barbie movie that EVERYONE is talking about. Oh, and we watched the new one, too. Unfortunately, the only thing Barbie and Kendra are going to be storming after this movie is the landfill, because this film is trashier than a chain-smoking cougar at a nightclub with visible cesarean scars. Is this a movie or a thinly-veiled porno? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 22: Candy Land (2022) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Candy Land, a movie that is less about childhood board games and more about murdering truckstop prostitutes. This is a serious movie about sex workiers, as illustrated by the clear shots of oily beef curtains. The only thing more inappropriate than the topless woman brushing her teeth is the Christmas motif. Is the sex industry a hellhole of drugs and danger, or a path to freedom for the world’s miscreants? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Bonus Episode 3: Zombie Cats from Mars (2015) Daddy WarBux and NOT Bublegum Barbie but the AMAZING, THE ONE WHO SHOWED UP TO RECORD (MJ Ultra!!) watch Zombie Cats From Mars, an independent movie submitted to us via Twitter @OilyTrashTweets. This movie is a silly romp about zombie cats that mysteriously turn into stuffed animals the moment they jump on anyone’s face. While this film has all the ingredients of an Oily TrashMovie, strong cinematography and a genuinely hilarious script saves it from the dumpster. Are these cats deserving of a treat, or do they all have fleas? You decide. BUBLE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH EPISODE IT WAS ALL WAR! She is sorry for not being here for you guys. Daddy WarBux edited this. Buble loves you. Xoxo!

Oily TrashMovies Episode 20: Death Valley (2021) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Death Valley, a Shudder original that is original in every way, except for the influence it takes from little-known cult classics like Alien and Predator. This movie introduces some interesting plot themes, like biblical prophecy and human/alien copulation, only to immediately throw them in the trash. Oily TrashMovies can say with confidence that Death Valley delivers an ending that is utterly forgettable and underwhelming, just like the climax of a movie should be. Will anyone remember this movie the next day? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 20: Robotica Destructiva (2023) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Robotica Destructiva, a movie made with 10 cans of silver spray paint and 5 kilos of cocaine. This film comes across like an advanced AI trying to simulate the effects of LSD. While we both expected to hate Robotic, both Buble and War declare: Not Oily, and the only trashcan is the robot doomsday device (literally, it’s a trashcan with Tupperware hot glued to it.) The only question is, will an average viewer enjoy this movie? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 19: Follow Her (2023) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Follow Her, a movie that finally answers the question: How do you make a good movie out of a tired premise? Turns out, you just need a halfway-clever script and halfway-undressed beautiful people. JUST LIKE OILY TRASHMOVIES HAS BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU! Writers and directors, take notes and then immediately lose them. No oil here, and the only thing trashy is the hot blonde (and she’s the good kind of trashy.) Watch Follow Her, and then follow us!

Oily TrashMovies Episode 18: Dark Cloud (2022) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Dark Cloud, which is not about stormy weather. Instead, Dark Cloud takes the premise of Ex Machina but removes the naked cyborg lady. Part HAL 9000, part Alexa, part M3gan, the AI system Aida takes the role of the killer smart house that terrorizes a poor lady for two acts. With Aida acting as the traditional abusive partner in a relationship, is the director making commentary on society’s unhealthy relationship with technology, or simply recycling tired villains? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 17: Spare Parts (2019 Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Spare Parts, which graduates from the dumpster and moves into the junkyard. How do you make a movie about hot women becoming half-cyborg gladiators boring? Apparently, all it takes is lighting ever shot exactly the same, having no escalation in action or violence, and giving you a clichéd, bare-bones plot involving a cult. The only thing being exploited in this movie is the viewer’s expectations, but at least we know all the fighters’ robot joints are well-oiled.*

Oily TrashMovies Episode 16: Mermaid Down (2019)** Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Mermaid Down for reasons completely unrelated to major upcoming releases. The only thing that could have saved this movie is an actual oil spill. While the mermaid effects were great, none of the characters felt developed and the attempted blend of genres left a tonal mess. Does this film deserve to be thrown in the ocean with the rest of the trash, or served at an upscale sushi restaurant? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 15: Glorious (2023) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch a movie that literally BLEW THEM away. The premise is simple: a man is trapped in an oily public restroom that is overflowing with trash. Then, as has happened to us all, God starts making conversation from the next stall over. This is one of the best movies we’ve watched for this show, with great writing and a sense of humor that contrasts perfectly with the bizarre situation presented. Does this belong in the league of Lovecraftian masterpieces? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 13: Aquarium of the Dead (2021) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Aquarium of the Dead, a movie where the budget mostly went to printing stickers at Kinko’s. Zombie fish is a fun premise, but the script feels like it was written by someone whose favorite computer game is Excel. The only thing that could have saved this film was great-looking CGI, but apparently there were as many animators as there were extras in this movie.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 12: Float (2022) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Float, which is a fitting title because we all know oil floats on water. This film is a muddled, ambiguous horror movie with the lamest threat you’ve ever seen: a shallow river. There could have been a decent story in here, but it got tossed out with the rest of the trash. The only place this movie deserves to #Float is in the toilet bowl.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 11: Dungeons & Dragons (2000) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Dungeons & Dragons—the original film based on the nerd franchise. This movie was a well-known bomb in the box office, and panned by critics for being oily and worthy of the dumpster. However, Buble and War found it to be quite the entertaining romp. Is this fun adventure spoiled by some truly oily, nausea-inducing 2000s CGI, or was the true treasure the friends they made along the way? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies BONUS Episode 1: Super Mario Bros (1993) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch the Mario movie—no, not that one. Yeah, THAT one. This movie is notoriously bad, featuring oily lumps of trash-fungus in a ludicrous film that just might be an allegory for early-1940s Germany. Does this film hold up on its own when separated from the wholesome Nintendo brand? Is such a separation even possible? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 11: Unwelcome (2022) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Unwelcome, a movie where an English couple has to deal with the oiliest antagonists of all: trashy Irish contractors. This movie is 75 minutes of unlikable people acting like entitled, whiny zoomers, followed by 15 minutes of badass goblin monsters committing ritualistic slaughter. Is an explosive finale enough to save this movie from the dumpster after two boring acts? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 10: The Jurassic Games (2018) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux, in their pursuit of Oily TrashMovies, occasionally uncover relics that rival the Shroud of Turin in their mystique and allure. The Jurassic Games is one such artifact, belonging on cinema screens as surely as in the Vatican's secret vault. In a plot that’s part Hunger Games, part The Matrix, and part Jurassic Park, 10 convicts must complete a series of challenges while fighting dinosaurs in virtual reality, for reality television, to gain their freedom. This movie hits harder than three lines of coke in a church rectory. What does that mean, you ask? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 8: Kill Her Goats (2023) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch Kill Her Goats, a throwback to 80’s slasher films that features three main motifs: Hot woman being murdered, gore, & spilt wine. Seriously, the blood & wine budget for this film certainly exceeded the casting budget. Oh, there may have been some goats, too. War and Buble are split on this movie, with War loving Trashy Women and Buble hating Trashy Movies. Should the Playboy Playmates who star in this film be doused in motor oil or baby oil? You decide.

Oily TrashMovies Episode 7: Freeze (2022) Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch a Lovecraftian horror film about rubber fish men who have never seen a female (just like you!) This movie is a highly ambitious indie film with some great dialogue, but the director wastes great sets in favor of drab, gray caves, and everything comes unraveled in the third act. They say fish oil is healthy, but ichthyoid oil may cause cancer. Ultimately, Freeze (2022) is less racist than HP Lovecraft, but just as offensive to modern sensibilities.

Oily TrashMovie Episode 6: Alone At Night Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch a slasher movie with no slashing starring a woman who’s not alone. The oil in this movie comes from an extraneous framing device that only serves to undermine the conclusion of the film, and it belongs in the trash because neither Barbie nor War realized who the hero of the third act was until 30 minutes after they’d finished the film.

Oily TrashMovie Episode 5: Zone 414. Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch a cyberpunk noir film filled with androids that have more personality than most people. Zone 414 is a fantastic film about the most oily scoundrels that inhabit a city of robots. The trash in this film is the characters, and they are written that way so effectively, the audience might believe they crawled out of the dumpster that morning.

Oily TrashMovie Episode 1: Jurassic Thunder. Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch a movie that makes them wish humanity had gone extinct along with the dinosaurs. Jurassic Thunder stinks worse than six pounds of deli meat in a Louisiana dumpster, and is twice as oily.

Oily TrashMovie Episode 4: At the Earth’s Core. Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux travel to the only place on Earth hotter than War’s bedroom: The literal molten core of the Earth. Welcome to Pellucidar, an underground land filled with bad rubber suits, complex political structures that nobody cares about, and plenty of oily trash.

Oily TrashMovie Epsiode 2.5: Cryo. Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch a movie that’s so cold, the plot was frozen solid for 2 hours. The only reason to put Cryo on ice is to slow down the spoilage of this festering trashmeat. Half-episode because we couldn’t be bothered to finish (kinda like your girlfriend last night).

Oily TrashMovie Episode 2: Jeepers Creepers: Reborn. Bublegum Barbie and Daddy WarBux watch the new Jeepers Creepers reboot, and they spent the entire time wishing their TrashBook Pro would reboot. This movie is not only an insult to cinema; it erodes the total sum of human achievement. Jeepers Creepers: Reborn is so oily that it could run the industrialized world for 75 years, and produces enough trash to fill the Mariana Trench