When Narcissists Collide
Grandiose and Covert narcissists have contrasting ways of expressing their traits. With grandiose narcissism we haughty behaviour, arrogance and being highly resistant to criticism. With covert narcissism we see low mood, a sense of perpetual victimhood and helplessness, and being highly sensitive to criticism.
But both have an exaggerated sense of self importance, a lack of empathy for others, both would have a huge sense of entitlement, a constant need for validation, and are both highly disagreeable.
So what happens when they are in a relationship together?
#narcissistrelationship #mentalhealth #narcissism
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Sense of Entitlement: Grandiose vs Covert Narcissism
A narcissist's sense of entitlement is a core feature of their personality. This sense of entitlement is a pervasive belief that they are special, unique, and deserving of privileges and favourable treatment that others are not. It stems from a combination of factors, including their fragile self-esteem, need for admiration, and distorted perception of their self-worth.
This video looks at the sense of entitlement and the differences in how it manifests inn Grandiose and Covert narcissism.
Ref: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886920305365
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The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse: Anhedonia
Anhedonia refers to the inability to experience pleasure in activities and experiences that would be considered to be enjoyable for most people. There’s also a difficulty finding pleasure, finding motivation or feeling an anticipation even towards things they once enjoyed, or events most other people would look forward to.
More than feeling bored with things from time to time, it can be a complex and multifaceted symptom often associated with depression and its presence can vary in intensity and duration from person to person.
This video looks at some of the links between exposure to long term narcissistic abuse and anhedonia.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8883269/#:~:text=Anhedonia%20is%20related%20to%20impaired,anticipation%20pleasure%2C%20and%20consummatory%20pleasure.
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The Five Factor Model of Personality - with Prof Ed Dutton
The Five Factor Model describes personality using five broad dimensions: Openness to Experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. These traits are considered to capture the essential elements of human personality.
Professor Ed Dutton, aka The Jolly Heretic, is an Evolutionary Psychology Researcher. In this podcast we discuss the five factor model from an evolutionary perspective, looking at the different traits, the development of personality, how they can change over time, social groups, partner selection etc. Ed also outlines the characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder through the model.
There was so much in our conversation I'll be uploading it in two parts, so stay tuned for more from our discussion.
Ed can be found on Youtube and Substack at:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheJollyHeretic
https://substack.com/@thejollyheretic
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Too Much Safety Culture?
The reasons behind and impact of infantilising and coddling adults
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Linguistic Ambiguity and Manipulation
Narcissistic people often manipulate and control the meaning and use of words and language in order to control and dominate others.
By leveraging linguistic ambiguity, non sensical gobbeldygook, word salad, technical jargon and emotive arguments they gain and maintain control over narratives, other people and situations. By using various linguistic tactics they manipulate perceptions and behaviours to serve their own interests, and avoid facing consequences for their actions.
This video outlines some of the common tactics used and gives examples of how they gaslight others.
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Problematising: The Creation of Issues
Narcissistic people tend to have a need for control and domination over others and over situations. One of the ways they gain, and maintain control is through a form of manipulation known as problematising. This involves making everything an issue to cause confusion, to grind down, to divide and conquer
They actively look for or create problems and difficulties in order to cause chaos and disharmony, to sow seeds of doubt and uncertainty.
This video looks at how narcissistic people, and those with traits found on the Dark Tetrad exploit difficulties and issues in order to control.
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Mobbing vs Group Harrassment
"Group harassment" and "mobbing" are terms that are sometimes used interchangeably, but they can have nuanced differences in both connotation and application.
This video outlines the similarities and differences in both, looks at the motivations behind the behaviour such as 'group think', and personality types behind the behaviour, such as those with dark personality traits. It also looks at the 'narcissism of small differences', which is when members of the same group begin to turn against each other.
And lastly, looking at the impact mobbing and group harassment can have on those targeted.
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The Devouring Mother
Although Carl Jung didn't use the term explicitly, the term ' Devouring Mother' is often discussed in the context of psychoanalysis and Jungian psychology. It can be related to his broader ideas about archetypes and the collective unconscious.
It is a parent who can be dysfunctional, possessive, detached from reality, self absorbed, and exerts control over their children just to meet their own needs.
While it is traditionally associated with mothers, fathers or other caregivers can exhibit similar behaviours. They consume their children emotionally and psychologically. Instilling helplessness, guilt, fear, shame, and often robbing them of their own identity. Stifling their growth as individuals.
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Abuse by Proxy
Abuse can take place in different ways such as emotional, psychological, physical, financial and so on. Abuse by proxy, also known as proxy abuse or triangulation, refers to a form of emotional or psychological abuse in which an individual manipulates or uses others to carry out abusive behavior, often involving a third party as a means of controlling, intimidating, or manipulating a victim. In this type of abuse, the abuser uses intermediaries to inflict harm or control over the victim indirectly.
Different types of abuse by proxy include mobbing, gossiping, ostracising and stalking and is carried out by others, commonly referred to as 'flying monkeys'. The abuse can take place in communities, workplaces, families, even on social media.
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The Deceptive Nature of Malingering
Malingering is neither a medical or psychological condition, nor is it a symptom of a condition. It is a behaviour aimed at manipulating others. It is the intentional exaggeration of, or pretending to have physical or psychological symptoms for a specific purpose or gain.
This video looks at the different kinds of malingering, how it differs from factitious disorder, the motivations behind it and the impact it can have on those who genuinely suffer and struggle.
#malingering #manipulation #mentalhealth
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The Vindictive Nature of Narcissism
Narcissistic people are particularly sensitive to threats to their self-esteem, sense of superiority and entitlement and can react with vindictiveness when they perceive such threats. Because they lack both empathy and humility a threat could be a disgreement, a different perspective, even someone’s boundaries.
This video outlines some of the common reasons behind their vindictive nature and gives some examples of how their vindictiveness can manifest in their different relationships and interactions.
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Is Cancel Culture Vindictive Narcissism?
This video was originally recorded in 2021 answering the question "Is Cancel Culture really just vindictive narcissism?", In the video I look at the different personality types behind the behaviour.
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Cults and the Allure of Belonging
What is a cult and what are the telltale characteristics that set cults apart from mainstream groups? From charismatic leaders to mind-bending manipulation tactics, this video looks at some common indicators and explores how they recruit others.
Understanding the Pull:
What makes someone willingly step into the realm of a cult? Exploring the complex web of emotional vulnerabilities, the search for belonging, and the yearning for meaning that often entices individuals to trade their autonomy for a sense of purpose.
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The Power of Authenticity
Being authentic doesn't mean being perfect; it means being true to who you are and striving to live in a way that aligns with your core values and beliefs. Authenticity is often valued in personal relationships, leadership, and various aspects of life because it fosters trust, genuine connections, and a sense of being real in a world that can sometimes feel artificial or superficial.
An authentic person is someone who is true to themselves and their values. Authenticity is about being genuine, honest, and transparent in your thoughts, actions, and interactions with others.
#authentic #authenticity #mentalhealth
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Five Mind Games Narcissists Play
If you've ever encountered a narcissist in your personal or professional life, you know just how bewildering and emotionally draining their manipulative tactics can be.
This video outlines five of the most common mind games they play to emotionally manipulate, control and evade responsibility. Mind games such as deflection, a 'toxic' amnesia, playing on people's fear of public opinion, mind reading and pretending not to understand.
#narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissistrelationship #mentalhealth
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The Vindictive Nature of Narcissism
Narcissistic people are particularly sensitive to threats to their self-esteem, sense of superiority and entitlement and can react with vindictiveness when they perceive such threats. Because they lack both empathy and humility a threat could be a disgreement, a different perspective, even someone’s boundaries.
This video outlines some of the common reasons behind their vindictive nature and gives some examples of how their vindictiveness can manifest in their different relationships and interactions.
#narcissisticabuseawareness #vindictivenarcissist #mentalhealth
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Live Q and A
In this live stream I'll be answering questions live from viewers. If you have any questions ready please ask them in the description of this video or on the community tab (better chance I'll get to see them).
Please remember to try to keep questions general as I cannot answer questions about real people or specific situations. Nor am I able to give specific advice.
Many thanks and hope to see you there.
#mentalhealth #counselling
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The Pros and Cons of Going No Contact
For some, going no contact with someone who has hurt and abused them isn't always an easy choice. There can also be consequences to keeping contact as well consequences to cutting ties altogether.
This live stream looks at the pros and cons of both to help navigate difficult choices.
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The Changing Roles in a Narcissistic Family
Narcissistic people often assign roles to people in their lives as a means of fulfilling their own emotional needs and maintaining control over their relationships. This includes in their own families.
These roles, which include the Golden Child, the Scapegoat, and the Enabler and Hero Child can undergo transformation over time due to various factors such as personal growth, changing family dynamics, and external influences
00:00 Intro
00:33 Family Roles
03:27 Purpose of Roles
05:13 Shifting Roles
08:24 Conclusion
#narcissisticfamily #narcissisticparent #mentalhealth
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Characteristics of Narcissism: Envy and Jealousy
The jealousy displayed by narcissistic people is often rooted in their need for validation, fear of losing their perceived superiority, and an inability to empathise with others.
This video looks at the world of narcissism to uncover the roots of their intense envy and jealousy. From their fragile self-esteem to their insatiable need for admiration and the factors that contribute to their jealous and envious nature. Looking also at how these emotions manifest in their relationships and interactions with others at work, with friends and partners and on social media.
#narcissistrelationship #narcissism #mentalhealth
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