The Morning After

When is 9 better than 13? Well, it’s impressive to win 13 states on Super Tuesday running unopposed, but it’s even more impressive when all 9 Supreme Court Justices rule in your favor.

How else are you going to get fun, exotic animals in to foreign countries where they don't have them?

And other irrational things women get mad at their husbands over

Panera decided to make a “charged” lemonade that’s basically what happens if Red Bull and Monster made a baby then put it on anabolic steroids. Let’s try one!

Or meth, or whatever it was that blew up that house so spectacularly

Ships are under attack in the Red Sea. But haven't we seen this one before?

We may be a few weeks early, but that's better than being late in all of our experiences. Nonetheless, here we are for a festively drunken extravaganza. Have a glass of eggnog and join us!

Thanksgiving is upon us. Time to talk tasty treats and crazy family stories.

Seems like more and more ops don’t get the attention they puppet masters want, so they just keep rolling out new ones. What’s going on today?

Welp, looks like it’s about time for humanity to come to an end. How’s your apocalypse prep coming?

Nowhere. You aren’t going anywhere. At least not with “modern” women.

Serious question, looking for serious answers. Also, if you could kill one historic figure in the crib do you know why William T. Sherman is the right answer?

Except you Zelensky. You're not allowed to come

We’re not talking about the same thing that’s been going on for millennia a second week in a row, so throw us some topics!

If you were hoping to jump on the defense contractor stock train, it’s already left the station. But don’t worry, all of your favorite politicians made it!

Pretty sure if you don’t keep talking about it, you’re antisemitic.

Now a border was is a good thing. Because Biden is doing it. That’s how this works. You’re still the bigot. Try to keep up please.

Hilarious typo, or just on the nose? You decide

We're out of room, but cut the razor wire so they keep coming...or something like that. Everyone knows borders aren't real anyway, amirite!

Trump said they’d come for the founders. Y’all said he was crazy. Now, look where we are.

We’ll take Labor Day off but ain’t no way we’re missing a show today!

Allegedly

Supposedly only 12% of Americans are eating over half the meat produced. Here on The Morning After we’re doing our part!

Turns out “Don’t Tread on Me” is a racist dog whistle