The Catholic Midlife

End your bad habit of “perfect” with us! End it today. “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect is what it says in Matthew 5:48,” right? After all, PERFECT is an English word that we know very well. If it’s perfect then it’s flawless, without defects, and does not make mistakes. That’s modern English. But the word used in Scripture does not mean the same thing as the modern English word “perfect.” The word used in Matthew 5:48 is a form of the Greek word Teleios. It means something more like “grown” or “mature” like an acorn matured into an oak. Please stop trying to be perfect. Scripture does not require it. In fact, it is worse than useless. Join us as we discuss the details. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Barbie, the movie, has something to say about perfectionism. Remember that monologue by Gloria? Gloria was super frustrated with the contradicting and insatiable messages directed to her as a woman that required her to be perfect and to be judged inadequate whenever she fell short. It resonated with many, many women. Perfectionism messages are constantly being directly beamed into you from your environment. Beamed, like Scotty beaming things, OK? That's just one arena of life. Men and women are getting these messages constantly from all over the place in our culture, which is very competitive, often treats us as commodities, keeps us insecure in our roles, and holds us to what are often unreasonable standards. Join us to discuss "so what," "what to do," and "why does it matter, really, really matter"? (hint: yes it really matters) Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

We take things personally because it cuts to our survival instinct. What’s at stake, in our brains, isn’t “do I get the topping on the ice cream?”; it’s “ Do I get to eat today?” Our brains are always looking for threats. We quickly interpret what people say or do as being directed at “me.” If you are trying to bring that virtuous, charitable, wise “you” to the party, it’s so helpful to create some distance and boundaries around the stories you tell yourself. Listen to the podcast for some helpful thoughts! Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Ruminating undermines you. We can quickly move from necessary self-reflection into repetitive negative thought patterns that get in the way of growth and problem-solving. Midlifers love to chew on their mistakes and keep turning things over and over. And over and over. Rumination isn’t solving your problems. It's not bringing health and new growth. Instead, it's making things worse. And some good news is: we don't have to do it. We discuss how to know when you are ruminating, why it’s so engaging for our brains, and what some of your options for pushing back could be. We want you to spot your ruminating and know when it’s not helpful, so you can disengage. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Are you ‘shoulding’ on yourself? (Don’t lie! We all do it) And it’s easy for those tricky ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts” to start defining your emotions and behaviors. I should get up earlier. I should work out. I should get more sleep. I shouldn’t complain so much. I shouldn’t be upset. And what about what others should or shouldn’t do or be? Find out why this is distorted thinking and how it undermines who you are called to be and what you are called to do. Let us know how the ‘shoulds’ are showing up for you! Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

What? More thought traps? Yes, lots more. Hooray. Listen and spot your favorite one to work on this week. These traps derail us or leave us spinning our wheels. The ratio is great but awareness and curiosity are better for spotting and responding to them. We discuss and share examples of some of them, like Personalizing, Blaming, Unfair Comparisons, Regret Orientation, What IFs, Emotional Reasoning, Inability to Disconfirm, and Judgment Focus. Email us about YOUR “favorite” thought trap! Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Humans (like you for instance) have some habits of thinking that are traps. We all fall into them, repeatedly. You have to laugh! These traps can shut down our thinking before we realize it, leaving us stuck or making poor choices because the traps often work at an unconscious level. Asking great questions is the key to uncovering thought traps. We discuss and share examples of some of them, like Mind Reading, Fortune-Telling, Catastrophizing, Labeling, Discounting Positives, Negative Filtering, Overgeneralizing, All-or-Nothing Thinking, and the infamous Shoulds. Listen and decide which one is your favorite, so you can work on it this week. Haha, tell us which one your spouse or friend falls into the most. 😉 Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

All human sufferings are capable of being infused with the same power of God manifested in Christ's Cross, writes JP2 in Salvifici Doloris. We have solidarity with Christ in suffering. This solidarity and participation in the cross that unites us with the Holy Spirit is a reality to be experienced and confounds explanations and theories. Moreover, the church is not passive in the face of the world’s suffering; on the contrary, we are asked to go precisely to where people are suffering– and the Spirit comes with us. The disorders of our culture show us where we have not met others in their suffering and have not brought God’s healing restoration to them. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

John Paul II speaks of the Gospel of Suffering. He says “The Redeemer himself wrote this Gospel, above all by his own suffering accepted in love” in Salvifici Doloris. We, meaning everyone, are burdened with suffering. It’s natural for us to wish that, and basically expect that God will take it away from us. Suffering cuts directly to what it means to be human. It demands respect and a response. We suffer when we experience any kind of evil, be it “large” or “small.” We want to view suffering through the lens of redemption. Christ answered the question about suffering with his own suffering–and as he did so, John Paul II says that evil was laid bare “before the eyes of Christ’s soul”. And it could not stand. The cross broke evil, somehow, in a way we don’t understand (e.g., read Romans 8). So now, as we approach suffering through the lens of redemption, it is possible to meet there the living waters of life that flow from Christ. WE can actually find redemption in the midst of suffering. We meet Christ there. It’s really important that in this lens, we hold together the Cross and Resurrection and DO NOT allow them to be separated. Listen to the discussion on the podcast! Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

What kind of energy are you bringing to situations where you suffer? Is it the kind of energy that leads to faith and hope, and finding purpose? The energy around your suffering tells you a lot about what you might be able to do differently. There’s no “right” way to suffer, nor can anyone tell you what you should do. Indeed, suffering is not going to go away in this present age; it is inextricably wound around us in a tight web. The questions we have for ourselves revolve around how we are going to let suffering shape us and what impact it will have on us and those around us. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

When life in the Spirit encounters the world, it doesn’t fit. There’s suffering at the points of collision. Life in the spirit, living in the new creation, being an agent of King Jesus, living the gospel - however you want to talk about living the new reality created by the resurrection - creates pain points because it doesn’t conform to this world. We are not conformed to this world. Instead, with the power of the Spirit, we conform this world to the reality of the new creation in the kingdom of God. That’s a via crucis, a road marked by suffering. Sometimes we get pulled into strange ideas about suffering being the coin of our salvation that we use to earn our way to God’s favor. That’s an idea that misses the point. Instead, keep your eye on the end game, which is participating, through the power of the Spirit, in eternal life in the new creation where the kingdom of God is fully present in the unity of heaven and earth. Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Sometimes we get bogged down in WHY am I suffering? Scripture does not really give us a direct explanation of why evil and its consequent suffering exist. Instead of a tidy explanation, we see the story of what He has done in history, in the Jewish people, and in Christ. We create theories and explanations but these fall short. "I sought whence evil comes and there was no solution", said St. Augustine. Asking WHY we are suffering in a particular way can easily get us stuck in frustration. Because we cannot “solve” our own suffering. God will draw a purpose for you out of your suffering. That’s because God can draw good out of evil. Even though He allows evil to take place, it is not because He wants you to suffer. He does not create evil or suffering. What you learn from suffering is not “why” you suffered. Suffering is transformative and draws us more closely into seeing and experiencing God’s glory - the glory of the magnificent, tremendous power of the presence of God ruling over heaven and earth in His amazing, redeemed, new creation kingdom. Mentioned in the show Lisa Mladnich’s book True Radiance, which is out of print but used copies are available, try Amazon. Listen to her interview in Episode 67. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Pentecost, the Ascension, and Daniel 7 - these are all tightly linked. It engenders hope to think about these connections. We love hope! We need it. The Spirit goes forth to renew all the Earth. Let’s invite it to start with each of us. Daniel 7 promised that great things that would happen when the Messiah returned. All power and kingship would be given to one like the son of man. That was fulfilled in the ascension when Christ went to Heaven to take up his kingship and start reigning. One of his first ACTS (like Acts 2) was to send the Holy Spirit from Heaven to Earth. The great interlocking of God’s creations of Heaven and Earth is well underway. That’s what we are part of; the reign of the King in his kingdom. The Holy Spirit is “power from on high” for us to participate in that and be comforted. Let’s transform our hearts and minds to be agents of the Kingdom. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Lisa Mladinich helps people grow exponentially in their God-given talents. She’s a Catholic coach, mom, bestselling author, and an inspiration to listen to. Finding and (loving to be) using your strengths is primarily, and this is really important to keep in mind, for getting closer to God. It also helps you understand your weaknesses. It’s so rewarding to be more of who God meant us to be: life is better, we are better, we are closer to God, we do better in our relationships, and we step up and pitch in to do our part in the Kingdom of God. Lisa’s Stuff: Lisa’s website: Wonderfullymade139.com Lisa’s podcast: Talent Talk Tuesdays

Making your contribution is… awesome! There’s something about you that’s so unique that only YOU can make that contribution to building up the kingdom of God. As you transform God’s creation, you are transformed. Because you are cooperating with the Holy Spirit that’s working on you even as you work with it to do your special thing. It’s a little intimidating to think there’s a role that is just for each of us, but it’s going to be a role for which we are well-suited to play. Because God knows each of us very well and has some things “planned out for us in advance”. As mentioned in the podcast: Paul: A Biography by N. T. Wright, pub. HarperOne, 2018 Christifideles Laici, An apostolic exhortation by John Paul II, 1988 We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. - Ephesians 2:10 The Church is like a living body with many very different vocations. Every member offers a totally unique contribution on behalf of the whole body…. The faithful engage in an ever-clearer discovery of one's vocation and the ever-greater willingness to live it so as to fulfill one's mission. God calls me and sends me forth as a laborer in his vineyard. He calls me and sends me forth to work for the coming of his Kingdom in history. This personal vocation and mission define the dignity and the responsibility of each member of the lay faithful. -Christifideles Laici, at 20 & 58, paraphrased Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Self-acceptance is one of the keys to life and is indispensable to Christian life. If you want to really change, you need self-acceptance in order to do so: it always precedes real change. Self-criticism is a common but weak alternative practice that many people embrace. Repeat: self-criticism is a bad habit that’s puny and wears you down. Self-acceptance, on the other hand, lets you see the same things in yourself, but without flinching. St. Francis de Sales practiced self-acceptance when he counseled us “not to fret over our own imperfections and to say to ourselves: Well, my dear friend, here we are again! Let us get up again and call on God’s mercy and hope to help us. Be of good heart, be on guard moving forward, and with God’s help we will do better!” Listen now and join us!! Mentioned in the podcast: Ethical Excellence; Philosophers, Psychologists, and Real-Life Exemplars Show Us How to Achieve It by Heidi Giebel Rebuilt: Awakening the Faithful, Reaching the Lost, and Making Church Matter by Fr. Michael White and Tom Corcoran Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

With acceptance, even though it doesn't change objective reality, the attitude of your heart is very different. You can enter into that reality with faith, hope, and love and find God operating there. You can find your peace which is always vital. You own your freedom and agency. Getting to a place of acceptance is often a key in coaching. It’s also a spiritual discipline. Paradoxically, more acceptance means more freedom. Freedom, properly understood, creates agency. Now positive change is enabled. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

I am reliably informed that with great beer comes great responsibility. OK. Certainly with Freedom comes Responsibility. You have AGENCY as a person. Freedom is for agency. I am sometimes quick to throw in the towel and say: I have no power here, no options, no choices, no mas. But I am always an AGENT; I am an actor as in “active”; I am a cause. Not THE cause, but A cause. John Paul II compares the attitude of “I am a cause” to “something is happening to me or in me over which I have no influence.” You are God’s representative on Earth. You have agency. What does that mean? Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Apologies are just a step in a relationship, perhaps a way to get a conversation moving again. Sometimes they don’t seem to “fit” the situation. Or we sense that the other person will use them to make us feel more guilty or to manipulate us. We talk about complex situations and how an apology might fit in. There are also reasons that we and “they” resist making apologies. Knowing how to decide if, when, and where to make your apology is an art. Get some ideas and grounding by listening to this episode. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Freedom is FOR what? We hear a lot about what we’ve been freed FROM, like sin and death (yay for that!), and not so much about what we are free FOR. Freedom is the foundational bedrock for the human spirit and central to your Christian walk. There are a lot of misconceptions and failures of imagination when it comes to thinking about freedom. We use this podcast season to clear some of those up so you can have, hold, and step into your wonderful Christian freedom. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

A good apology can clear the air. A bad apology will make everything worse. Learning how to make a good apology is a relationship-saver. But nobody tells us how to do these things. I guess that’s why most of us are not very good at apologies! What a shame! We dig into to-do’s and to-dont’s on this episode. If you’re like us, you will discover that you have some apology habits that need an upgrade. Email us with an example of an apology that DID or DIDN’T work for you. Resource: Harriet Lerner’s book, Why won’t you apologize? Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

There’s a big gap between reconciliation and modern ideas of forgiveness. This gap appears at all levels - between individuals, in local groups, and in nations. Modern forgiveness focuses on releasing anger and hurt so we can move on and be at peace. That’s so important! Reconciliation goes even further and seeks a renewal of the relationship after facing the difficulties of acknowledging the harm to the injured persons. Reconciliation is often not possible and that creates a gap. Once you see this gap, you can appreciate what’s missing from forgiveness. Understanding this gap helps you come to terms with what’s missing, accept it so you can have that release in forgiveness, and perhaps consider reaching further for reconciliation. We are called to reconciliation, that’s what’s held out to us in scripture as our model to imitate. It hurts when we can't have it. As Kingdom people, we want to have a bias to reconciliation. Reconciliation is more possible than we think because it’s God’s way and desire. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Forgiveness doesn’t have a simple definition or formula. It’s an act of will that also engages with the heart, which can be enlarged, illuminated, and encouraged but not commanded. Forgiveness has huge personal benefits, like releasing toxic emotions. It also extends into the world with social and political impacts. Forgiveness does not overlook wrongs - instead, it puts a spotlight on them so that what needs forgiveness is known to all and can be grieved. It does not cater to wrongdoers but creates new boundaries to be enforced. Forgiveness is not reconciliation although it’s a step towards it. Forgiveness is part of writing a new story for you in connection with the person or situation that’s being forgiven. Most of all, forgiveness is part of being an active member of the Kingdom of God, which is a kingdom of forgiveness and reconciliation for all. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Forgiveness is one of those things you know you should do but nobody tells you how. It’s not easy. And it’s indispensable to the Christian life. In this episode we start off a podcast season on forgiveness with a theological perspective: Forgiveness is a way of life. Think more in terms of identity to step into than another obligation for you to deal with. Forgiveness is like a door that allows forgiveness to be received and to be given. The question is: how will we allow the door to open a little more? Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

There’s an enormous evangelization opportunity for us. It’s a wonderful opportunity to meet people with their deepest needs. What is it? It’s marriage. People of all ages, even today in 2023, long for great marriages. We, Catholic parishes everywhere, can help. J.P. De Gance helps parishes help others build marriages and, by the way, grow their own parishes. In fact, his organization Communio has a track record of doing exactly that. Learn about the state of marriage, why it has everything to do with the future of the Church, and how we can help others be blessed. Want to evangelize? Get your parish involved with Communio. J.P. De Gance co-authored a book with all the details about WHAT and HOW there is a marriage vocations crisis and WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT. It’s called Endgame, The Church's strategic move to save faith and family in America. We would love to hear from you! Send a text to us at The Catholic Midlife podcast with your thoughts as you listen: 612-208-9150. Email us at: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/ In the interview with J.P. De Gance A short video about transforming your parish to be a center of marriage evangelization; share with your parish leadership: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8f4PEXT7Hs Communio website: https://communio.org/ Website to Get the Book ENDGAME (Or go to Amazon): https://communio.org/endgame/