#Essay on #friendship

Essay on friendship

What first quality should we expect from someone with
who wants a relationship? the young man asked me
journalist, and I replied: those you would expect from your best friend.
The rest, of course, would be the ingredients of passion, which go beyond
friendship. But the basis would be there: in trust, in the joy of being together,
in respect, in admiration. In tranquility. In not being able to imagine life
without that person. In something beyond all our limits and disasters.
Maybe it's a good criterion. I don't say choice, because love is instinct and intuition
, but one of those deeper, archaic options that we make without even knowing it,
to be happy or to be destroyed. I would not want as a life partner who
could not want as a friend. And friends are part of my emotional foundation:
are one of the gains that the passage of time has granted me. I speak of that person to
who can I call, no matter where she is, no matter what time of day or dawn,
and say: “I'm sick, I need you”. And he or she will be with me taking a car, a
plane, running a few blocks on foot, or simply staying on the phone for as long as
necessary for me to recover, find myself again, put me back together, don't kill me, whatever
What it will be.

More reserved than expansive at first,
more shy, I always had many acquaintances and few,
but real, real friendships, the kind they form, with the
family, the ground on which we know we can walk.
Without them, I probably wouldn't even be here. I speak of those friendships for which
I'm just me, a person with quirks and jokes, eventual sadness, mistakes
and successes, the years of lead and a generous share of earnings in this life.

For them I am not a writer, much less known to any public: I am people.
Friendship is a half-love without some of its perks
but without the burden of jealousy – which is, between us, a beautiful
advantage. Being a friend is laughing together, giving a shoulder to cry on, being able to criticize
(with affection, please), it's being able to introduce a boyfriend or girlfriend, it's being able to appear
flip-flops or bathrobe, it's even being able to fight and come back a minute later, without having
to give no explanation. A friend is the one you can call when you're with
fever and doesn't want to go out to pick up the kids in the rain: the friend goes and picks them up together with the
her or even if there is no child in that school.
A friend is the one we turn to when we are in distress.
too much, and he arrives comforting, calling it “my
babe” even if we are a rag. Friend, friend, it's an amazing gift, this I know
from an early age, and I couldn't live without them. I knew a lady who boasted that she didn't need
friends: “I have my husband and children, and that's enough for me”. The husband died, the children
followed her life, and she was left in a desert without an oasis, injured as if fate had
played a trick on him.

He complained more than once, and I never had the courage to tell him, at that
height, that life is a construction, also affective life. And what friends don't
They are born out of nowhere as a result of chance: they are cultivated with…
friendship. Effortless, without special fertilizers, without method or affliction: growing as they grow
trees and children when they lack neither light nor space nor affection.
When at a certain period fate had apparently taken from under me all the
rugs and I lost my bearings, my direction, the meaning of everything, were
friends, girlfriends, and my children, young adults already revealed friends, who held back.

And those were rough edges. I endured, persisted, and continued to love life, people and
myself (as my beloved friend Erico Verissimo, “I love myself but I don't admire myself”) enough
not to be bitter. For, in addition to believing in the mystery of everything that happens to us, I had
those friends.

With them, without big conversations or explicit words,
I learned solidarity, simplicity, honesty, and affection.
On this page, today, with no special reason or date set,
I'm honoring those, those, who have been with me no matter what, for whatever comes and goes,
even when I'm tired, I'm dumb, I'm angry or mad, because sometimes I'm everything
that, ah!, yes. And the good thing is that in friendship, if true, we don't have to sacrifice
neither understanding nor forgiving nor sexual juggling nor making excuses nor hiding wrinkles
or sorrows. One can simply be: what a relief, in this complicated and discouraging world, dazzling
and terrible, fantastic and tiring. For the true friend is reliable and stimulating, funny and serious, at times.
sometimes irritating; it may depart, but we know it returns; he bears us and calls us, gives us impulse and shelter,
and makes us better: like true love.

Text : Lya Luft Research : vitor hugo lizardi Leonardi

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