Extremely rare banned outlaw country version of "I Feel Like Saying N.. Tonight" performed by Hard R Johnny and The Cow Catchers.

Extremely rare cassette copy of Uncle Chuck Whiteman's cover version of his nephew Chet's hit pop funk single "White Boy Summer". Uncle Chuck wrote and recorded this country western parody after his nephew Chet brought his friends up to Chuck's lakeside cabin for a week in July to celebrate the white boy summer of 1988.

The rare and oddly specific unreleased demo version of the 1997 hip-hop classic "Men in Hats" by Will Smiff.

Rare cover version of Nick Ross and The Patriots hit funk single from 1984.

The extremely rare original version of Sam and Dave's first hit song from 1966, before the song was changed later that same year into the popular radio version. This is one of the only surviving copies still in existence after most of the original copies were lost in a boating accident.

The original fully occupied version of Robert Zimmerman's grating and annoying 12-bar jues anthem from 1966.

The extremely rare original version of Randy Newman's classic holiday pop rock single from 1983.

Extremely rare copy of Chet Whiteman's 1988 cover version of Nate "The Burger King" Higgs banned 1985 funk pop single "White Boy Summer".

The extremely rare never released version of Huey Lewis and the News hit single "Power of Guns" recorded for the Die Hard movie soundtrack album in 1988.

The extremely rare unc*nsored original version of Toto's 1980's soft yacht rock classic hit "Africa".

The first volume of extremely rare instrumentals carefully collected from vinyl, cassette, and two inch tape reels; remastered and compiled by Hard Archive. TRACK LIST 1. 0:01 B*tches Do Dishes 2. 3:18 B*tch Slap (1976) 3. 6:32 Butt F***er 4. 10:39 Snitches Get B*tches 5. 15:03 Crackers Be Trippin 6. 18:41 I Feel Like Saying N... Today 7. 22:46 Beach is Closed 8. 27:19 Pool's Closed 9. 29:45 You Drive Like Sh*t (1985) 10. 32:04 I'm STILL Whooping That A** (1969) 11. 36:42 Shut The F*** Up C*** 12. 39:15 No Means YES (1978)

Extremely rare cover version of Nate Higgs banned funk pop single "I Feel Like Saying N... Tonight" performed by Kate Hikes and The Awakening.

Extremely rare funk dance-pop cover version of "No Means YES" by Van Allen.

This funk single by Stan Lee Hooker is said to be based on real events Stan witnessed during his decade long friendship with fellow singer and musician Cornelius "Backhand" Jackson. LYRICS [Verse 1] I'll tell you the story of a man A radio active Pope bit his hand His hand grew ten times it's normal size To help him get offerings on time He knew if a nun was telling a lie Which was one hundred percent of the time Super powers to make laymen listen He sees your adultery with s3x ray vision Leap a synagogue in a single bound Slapping sinners down to the holy ground His name was famous across the land They called him The Pope named Super Hand [Chorus 1] (Oh sh*t yeah) The Pope named Super Hand He had powers no other Pope had (Oh f*ck yeah) The Pope named Super Hand That Holy Vicar was super tan [Verse 2] He was given super human faith He could hear the church from miles away Played the funkiest organ ever played I heard him sing "B*tch I wear a cape!" Pope hand fast as a speeding bullet That makes a nun pray up to the fullest He hates devils more than kryptonite And when stupid sinners just can't act right Super Hand don't put up with lying He will crush your cold heart into diamonds You better confess all of your sins Or he will smack your lip with his giant Pope ring [Chorus 2] (Oh sh*t yeah) The Pope named Super Hand He had powers no other Pope had (Oh f*ck yeah) The Pope named Super Hand That Holy Vicar was super tan

Extremely rare 1970 funk rock single by The Ides of March. The band's lead singer and frontman Jim Peterik wrote this song in 1969 to celebrate the election of the first black Pope in history, Pope Reggie Jackson Sr. After the success of the American civil rights movement in the 1960's, Reggie was elected as the new Pope, despite the fact that he was a Protestant from Memphis TN. Many accused Reggie of being a "affirmative action" hire, to which he responded quote "It ain't affirmative action, it's affirmation action. We showing love to all of God's children." Reggie was also known for his witty and humorous rhetoric. After being elected Pope, Reggie declared "Now that the Pope is black, if you atheist, it's cause you a r*cist." Reggie was only Pope for 45 days before he was killed in a tragic Pope-mobile accident.

Zip ZOP zoobity BOP! Ya see? Kids they listen to the rap, which gives them the brain damage, with their hippin' and their hoppin' and their biippin' and their boppin' so they don't know what the JAZZ is all ABOUT! Ya SEE? We use to play stickball! With the poke and the mon and the thing where the guy comes out of the thing and he makes a bwah wah ha ha... Ahh COO COO ca CHOOOOO!!!

The original unc*nsored version of "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes. Record producers convinced Jack to rewrite this song to be more radio friendly, which resulted in this single being their biggest hit to date.

The original never released version of The Beatles baroque pop classic "Eleanor Rigby". John and Paul wrote this song together about one of the very few things they fully agreed on; their absolute disdain for panhandlers and the home impaired. George and Ringo later convinced John and Paul to rewrite the song, being concerned with backlash from fans for "punching down". LYRICS Ah, look at all the homeless people Ah, look at all the homeless people Eleanor *igby picks up the cans at the church where a wedding has been She likes to scream Waits at the subway, asking for change that she keeps in a jar by the door Now she wants more All the home-less people Where did they all come from? All the home-less people Don't give change to those bums Father NicKenzie mumbling the words of a sermon while he drinks a beer No one goes near Look at him jerking, dangling his d*ng in the day when there's everyone there He does not care All the homeless people Where did they all come from? All the homeless people Don't give change to those bums Ah, look at all the homeless people Ah, look at all the homeless people Eleanor *igby stood at the church to ask if you can spare any change Nobody gave Father NicKenzie wiping the sh*t from his a** as he squats in a daze He needs to bathe All the homeless people Where did they all come from? All the homeless people Don't give change to those bums

Rick Astley's extremely rare 1987 cover version of Nate Higgs 1983 funk pop single "I Feel Like Saying N.. Tonight".

Extremely rare 70's yacht rock cover version of Enrico Pallazzo's 1960's opera classic "Bone Zone" performed by Michael McDonald and The Doobie Brothers. This was originally intended to be included as a bonus track on the 1976 album "Taking It To The Streets".

Extremely rare funk cover of Charlie Murphy and The Line Steppers classic 1969 hit single "I'm STILL Whooping That A**" performed by 'The Godfather of Soul' James Brown. Charlie and James became good friends in the 1950's while they were both enlisted in the military. James brought Charlie and his band The Line Steppers along with him to Vietnam in 1968 to perform for the troops deployed there. During their encore performance a fight broke out in the crowd which prompted Charlie to sing this song's lyrics over what would later be known as the song "The Payback".

Extremely rare recording of Sammy "Bo" Jackson's classic 1967 Father's Day hit "Daddy's Belt" performed by The Jackson Five. One night during a long studio session rehearsing "I Want You Back", Michael felt safe to perform this parody version after his father and band manager Joe Jackson had to leave the recording session unexpectedly to get a pack of menthols. Joe arrived back at the studio just in time to hear Michael sing the last chorus. At the end of the song you can hear the exact moment Michael noticed his father had returned.

The extremely rare 1972 funk soul version of "Super Hand" performed by Curtis Mayfield.

Hearken, O ye people, and incline thine ears unto an old song, which cometh forth from Saul of Tarsus, a vessel chosen of the Lord. Let not your hearts be hardened, but open ye unto this sound, for it is filled with wisdom and grace, revealing truths of the Most High. Rejoice, ye nations, and be glad, for the voice of Saul doth proclaim the light that shineth in the darkness. Hear ye this word, and be moved by the Spirit that guideth him to write and record the first rock song to ever exist.

Extremely rare 90's pop funk power anthem theme song from the canceled R rated adult Power Ranger spinoff series called "The White Ranger Power Hour". This song was used as the opening intro theme song for the first season before being the first ever TV show to be canceled due to "extreme" popularity. The song is said to be made by a famous writer and producer that wished to stay anonymous, though there is much rumor and speculation about their identity.

Hark ye! Lend thine ear to this rare version of thee hit song performed by Sir Bartholomew Jackson and The Squires. This special version was commissioned by The Earl of Sandwich in the year 1521 AD as a gift for his wife. Lyrics [Verse 1] Maiden! Thou dinest like pigs Didst thou see that meal that thou almost missed I'd rather eat the ox chaff instead Dining with thee I shall end up dead Ask me not if I need a bib Maiden thou dinest like pigs [Verse 2] She just ate through the bailiff's crop I do not want to get the executioner's block Maiden! Heavens why did I let thee dine Tis' a miracle thou art still alive Ask me not if I need a bib Maiden thou dinest like pigs [Chorus] Woah woah woah woah Look out! My damsel dineth Watch out! My damsel dineth like pigs Woah woah woah woah Look out! My damsel dineth Watch out! My damsel dineth like pigs [Bridge] Darling! Thou art such a greedy diner How in Hades didst thou get thy gains She sayeth nay ever binged she afore Save she indulged at the byre's store Ask me not if I need a bib Maiden thou dinest like pigs [Chorus] Woah woah woah woah Look out! My damsel dineth Watch out! My damsel dineth like pigs Woah woah woah woah Look out! My damsel dineth Watch out! My damsel dineth like pigs

Rare 70's soul funk single written and performed by George "F U Money" Carlton. This song was written by George after a frustrating experience trying to teach his children the "bad words not to say", but unintentionally teaching them new swear words they never heard before.

Extremely rare 80's soul pop single by Guy Forker and Sal Minella. This song was a favorite in Hell's Kitchen, and quickly gained popularity nationwide after the band appeared on an episode of Soul Train in 1990. Their popularity came to a swift end after an appearance on the Soul Train themed cooking show called Soul Food which ended in a large grease fire that burned down the television studio.

HONK HONK HONK! Honk honk honk, Honk HONK honk "1979" honk honk honk. HONK honk, honk honk? HONK!!! Honk honk honk HONK honk, HONK honk HONK honk honk. Honk honk honk HONK, honk honk honk. Honk honk honk HONK!

Obscure funk pop single written and performed by James Mayday. This song is about James terrifying experience dating a commercial airline pilot in the early 1980's. This may be one of the only copies left in existence after most of the pressings were lost along with all of James luggage on a connecting flight to Spatula City during his band's final tour before he and two members of his band were killed in a mysterious plane crash in 1987.

Extremely rare hip-hop vinyl single from 1996 by Duck Johnson and Eddie "The King" Faroo. Duck and King wrote this rap song after winning the Pizza Hut three on three tournament in 1995. Pizza Hut's tournament was a promotional campaign for the men's NCAA basketball tournament in which anyone could enter to compete to win a lifetime supply of pizza, mini basketballs, and Pizza Hut sunglasses. The undefeated Detroit locals Duck and King won the tournament as a two man team before they were ultimately disqualified for starting a fistfight after the championship game. The fight ended with a dozen people in the hospital including fans, cheerleaders, and all three referees in critical condition. Verse 1 and 2 and hook by Atomic Wax Verse 3 and 4 and beat by Hard Archive

Obscure funk pop Valentine's Day single by Teddy Money and The Pocket Watchers. Teddy wrote this single in 1979 to vent his frustrations with the high cost of going on a Valentine's Day date after living through a short recession with an inflation rate three times higher than the previous two decades. Teddy and The Pocket Watchers had mainstream success for a brief time in the early eighties before the band finally broke up in 1986 after lead singer and band leader Teddy retired from music to work as a writer for Hallmark.

Bizarre obscure psychedelic funk single by James Kennedy and The Final Notice. There are conflicting stories about how this strange single was produced. The producers and record label claim James was allegedly tripping on acid at the studio while recording this song, while James claims someone slipped acid in his drink before recording the final takes in attempts to sabotage the song. James claims he wrote more lyrics to the song but couldn't remember them after the acid started kicking in, leaving James to only say "let's get back to the music". James also said quote "The more you follow the money, the more you see who is pulling the strings. The further you go down the 'rabbit hole', the more silent the 't' becomes.

Smacks and Stacks 2009 drum and bass remix of Shawn Luther King and The Boulevard's banned funk anthem "We Can Say N.." from 1979.

Rare copy of 1500's tavern song by Sir Bartholomew Jackson and The Squires. Shortly after ai was developed, the elite ruling class's primary form of entertainment changed from 'playing God' to 'attempting to create God' by combining advanced modern technology with ancient witchcraft and black magic. The gov claims the "Stargate" program was only intended for ai research and development and never intended to open an actual stargate, in spite of the fact that they named the program "STARGATE". This extremely rare yet perfectly preserved hologram copy was sent to me through one of the stargate portals located behind the White Castle in the greater Spatula City area.

Extremely rare copy of banned funk pop single written and performed by Nate "The Burger King" Higgs. Nate grew up in the tritip area of the tenderloin district in San Francisco in the late 70's, being raised listening to funk, soul, and the emerging genre that is now known as hip-hop and rap music. He worked as a DJ at the Lucky 13 radio station playing soul and funk during the day, and also worked as a producer in various local recording studios in the early 80's. Nate wrote this song expressing his frustration with his friends and music colleagues for asking Nate to restrict his speech in a socially acceptable way, especially when Nate would sing along to his favorite hit song released in 1982 titled "I Feel Like Hugging a N... Today".

Hark! Depart ye to Rumble to hear a true tale too gruesome to be told on the emperor's video platform. I present ye the only known existing copy of Sir Bartholomew Jackson's "Well's Closed", which tells a story of battling evil treacherous witches through the midsummer heat. Lyrics [Verse 1] We are in the midst of an heat wave But thou needst to close the well today No joke tis a serious problem Someone hath poisoned the water [Verse 2] Had to slap a witch right in the face There was rats all over the place Now the water may test positive Best close the well if thou wants to live [Chorus 1] Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed for today Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed due to plague [Bridge] Summer is hither, it can't get any hotter Yet we can't drink because there's plague in the water Don't drink if ye don't want to get the plague Don't drink lest thou art already gay [Chorus 2] Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed for today Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed due to plague [Verse 3] I caught a witch with a bag of rats She had a big nose and a pointy hat Now there's plague at the water well The witch that did this shall burn in hell [Chorus 3] Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed for today Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed due to plague [Chorus 4] Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed for today Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed due to plague [Outro End] Block the bucket, block block the bucket Block the bucket, block block the bucket You don't want wanna get plague, b*tch!

"Tired of Your S*** (1970)" Rare funk single by singer and full time plumber Mario Stubbs. This steaming hot funk track was written by Mario in the bathroom one night after a long day at work of dealing with people's s***. Mario , who considered himself an expert in s***, told his wife to not go in the bathroom for at least 35 to 45 minutes after he wrote this song, saying quote "this may the funkiest s*** ever. Somebody open a window". Lyrics [Verse 1] You think you're so cool (so cool) You think you're real smart (so smart) You think you're the s*** (the s***) Cause you smell like a fart (Hot Damn!) [Chorus] I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) You've been stinking up the whole house I can taste your a** in my mouth I'm tired of your s*** (tired of your s***) [Verse 2] I went into the bathroom (oh no) And couldn't believe the stench (oh s***) Whatever came out of your a****** Smells worse than your breath (Damn!) [Chorus] I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) You've been stinking up the whole house I can taste your a** in my mouth I'm tired of your s*** (tired of your s***) [Bridge] (Ooh ooh ooh ooh) That smell will melt the nose right off of your face (It smells like s***) I don't know how much more of your s*** I can take Oh no! [Verse 3] You think you're so cool (so cool) You think you're real smart (so smart) You think you're the s*** (the s***) Cause you smell like a fart (Hot Damn!) [Chorus] I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) You've been stinking up the whole house I can taste your a** in my mouth I'm tired of your s*** (tired of your s***) Oh no no no I'm so tired of your s*** (Wipe your a**)

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #reggae #60sreggae #comedymusic JAH! Yuh crazy bald heads a guh luv dis rythm yahso. Dis song from di lgenedary reggae singa Sanka Coffie. Lawd a massi! Dis tune irie! Lyrics Jah! Oh yes! Jah love, Jah love Jah hates f*gs Jah love, Jah love Jah hates f*gs [Guitar Solo] Oh yeah! You are gay Jah love, Jah love Jah hates f*gs Jah love, Jah love Jah hates f*gs (Oh f*ck yeah!) [Guitar Solo] Oh yeah!

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk #comedy Extremely rare funk single by funk musician and pigeon keeper Vince McMann. According to the liner notes, Vince wrote this song as a self indulgent expression of his grievances with the record industry gatekeepers for banning his popular cover version of Cornelius "Backhand" Jackson's timeless classic "Don't Test Me B*tch". Lyrics [Verse 1] You can make songs all about sex Or glorify crime like playing grand theft When it comes to shitting on women I do it the best Baby! Take this steaming insult on your chest [Chorus] Life just ain't worth living (ain't worth living) If I'm not allowed to shit on women (shit on women) Fuck you and your gay feminism (fuck you bitch) I can't stop (can't stop) I won't stop (won't stop) shitting on bitches (Ooh yeah) [Verse 2] You can be a bitch ass simp all day long But you better not make fun of Elon If you try to put a bitch back in her place They'll delete your songs for being too based [Chorus] Life just ain't worth living (ain't worth living) If I'm not allowed to shit on women (shit on women) Fuck you and your gay feminism (fuck you bitch) I can't stop (can't stop) I won't stop (won't stop) shitting on bitches (Fuck yeah!) [Bridge] I'm directly over the target with this You're not allowed to say "don't test me bitch" Why do you think that song is banned? Cause the answer to our problems is a strong pimp hand (Fuck yeah!) [Guitar Solo] [Verse 3] You can't let these bitches get a free pass Women and immigrants cut your wages in half Weak men being raised by single moms Now they get their feelings hurt by a fucking song [Chorus] Life just ain't worth living (ain't worth living) If I'm not allowed to shit on women (shit on women) Fuck you and your gay feminism (fuck you bitch) I can't stop (can't stop) I won't stop (won't stop) shitting on women (Oh yeah) [Chorus] Life just ain't worth living (ain't worth living) If I'm not allowed to shit on women (shit on women) Fuck you and your gay feminism (fuck you bitch) I can't stop (can't stop) I won't stop (won't stop) shitting on bitches (I gotta take a shit!) [Outro End] Yeah yeah yeah Fuck you, bitch

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk #comedy Never released funk single written and performed by Orange Julius for the Pulp Fiction movie soundtrack. Lyrics [Verse 1] Hello my name is Jules, nice to meet you I'm a bad mother f*cker that don't suffer no fools Can I try your burger? I missed my breakfast (damn that's good!) I need to wash this down with a tasty beverage [Chorus 1] A quarter pounder with cheese sounds good for lunch My girls a vegetarian so I don't eat them that much You know what they call a quarter pounder over seas? They call it a royale with cheese (B*tch! Please) [Verse 2] The boss said we gotta go deliver this briefcase Why the f*ck did you just shoot Marvin in the face? If we get caught we're going to prison All because you're talking about the metric system (Sh*t!) [Chorus 2] A quarter pounder with cheese sounds good for lunch My girls a vegetarian so I don't eat them that much If I ever go on a trip overseas I'm ordering the royale with cheese [Bridge] Does Marsellus Wallace look like a b*tch? (What?) Then why you trying to f*ck him like a b*tch? (What?) Do they speak English in what? (What?!) Why are you trying to f*ck Marsellus in the butt? (Oh sh*t!) Say what again, I dare you, I double dare you mother f*cker! [Guitar Solo] [Verse 3] I want you to go in that bag, and find my wallet It's the one that says bad mother f*cker on it The truth is I am the tyranny of evil men But I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd again [Chorus 3] A quarter pounder with cheese sounds good for lunch My girls a vegetarian so I don't eat them that much You know what they call a quarter pounder over seas? They call it a royale with cheese (B*tch! Please) [Chorus 4] A quarter pounder with cheese sounds good for lunch My girls a vegetarian so I don't eat them that much If I ever go on a trip overseas I'm ordering the royale with cheese

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk #comedy "We can rebuild her. We have the technology. We can make her better, hotter, less bitchy." Lyrics [Verse 1] Let me tell you about a new invention This robot b*tch never needs correction You can get one refurbished for a small amount You pay a lower price for a higher body count [Chorus 1] Scientists made me the perfect b*tch They replaced her brain with a computer chip She talks ninety nine percent less sh*t She's the six million dollar b*tch (Oh yeah!) [Verse 2] There's a self cleaning oven installed within So no matter where she goes, she's always in the kitchen If you want the model that doesn't complain You gotta pay extra for the mute button upgrade [Chorus 2] Scientists made me the perfect b*tch They replaced her brain with a computer chip She talks ninety nine percent less sh*t She's the six million dollar b*tch (Oh f*ck yeah!) [Bridge] I believe that we can rebuild her (rebuild her) We have the technology (f*ck yeah) We can make her better than she was before Check out our new version of the three o four [Verse 3] She's got silicon t*ts and a great a** This is the only woman in the world that can do math Hurry! Order now cause they're selling out fast Just swipe your credit card up her a** [Chorus 3] Scientists made me the perfect b*tch They replaced her brain with a computer chip She talks ninety nine percent less sh*t She's the six million dollar b*tch (Oh yeah!) [Chorus 4] Scientists made me the perfect b*tch They replaced her brain with a computer chip She talks ninety nine percent less sh*t She's the six million dollar b*tch (Oh f*ck yeah!) [End] Oh sh*t! I got the error message three o four

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #hardarchive Hello buddy, this song is very good sir! You will like this song buddy. I will play this song again if you send bobs and vagene, buddy! Lyrics [Verse 1] You're in the wrong place You're in the wrong town You really should've stayed Cause sh*t is going down [Verse 2] You just made it here You fell for the trap Gonna build a wall So you can't go back (oh no!) [Chorus] They know it's true (oh yeah yeah yeah) But they don't want to hear You're the new slaves (oh no no no) Cause you volunteered [Verse 3] They tell you you're free So you won't escape Welcome to the zoo Hope you like your cage [Verse 4] Better pay on time The taxman won't wait You'll learn soon enough How to be a slave [Chorus] They know it's true (oh yeah yeah yeah) But they don't want to hear You're the new slaves (oh no no no) Cause you volunteered

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk #comedy This funk single from the 1970's was recently declassified after officials determined the song is no longer a security risk. "Drone Hunter" was reported to be written and performed by [REDACTED] and the [REDACTED]. According to the documents, this song is about a strange dream lead singer [REDACTED] had during his participation in a classified gov sleep study program. [REDACTED] claimed to have reoccurring dreams about robots called "drones" flying over New Jersey to follow and observe people, causing panic and mayhem to ensue. [REDACTED] said that in the dream he was given the official title of "Drone Hunter" and he was given a mission to shoot down all the drones. The dream ends with a bizarre discovery that the drones are actually friendly, and seem to only be interested in American foods such as pizza, burgers and hot dogs. Lyrics [REDACTED]

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Cornelius "Backhand" Jackson was an anti-feminist men's rights activist who was willing to do what needed to be done to get women back in the kitchen once and for all. From your lips to his fist, this standout hit makes you wanna fist bump in more ways than one. Needless to say "Don't Test Me B*tch" was ahead of its time but now considered classic, even prophetic. Lyrics [Verse 1] All you do is talk talk talk But you never listen (can you hear me!) Get your ass back in the kitchen And make me some chicken [Turnaround] Don't test me bitch (Don't test me bitch) [Verse 2] My pimp hand is strong And my patience is thin (so thin) Quit all your bitchen, Get back in the kitchen (I'm hungry) [Turnaround] Don't test me bitch (Don't test me bitch) [Chorus] Do not test me bitch I will use my fist I will smack your lip I will bust your shit [Bridge] Talk back one more time (just one more time) And this will be the scene of a crime [End] Try me bitch I dare you (double dare you bitch)

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl You thought "I Whoop That A**" was over? This a** whooping session went on so long it wouldn't fit on only one side of this hit record. You forget to flip the record and listen to the B side. Soul group known as the "The Line Steppers" were known for habitually fighting with everyone including each other. So much so that both sides of their hit single 45 record "I Whoop That A**" come from the same infamous studio session that ended in a whooping stick brawl. Similar to how James Brown was known for calling out the song changes in real time and fining band members for missing their parts, "The Line Steppers" band leader Charlie Murphy was known for whooping his musicians a**es if they messed up. [Verse] I'm still whoopin All throughout the town Gonna let them know I don't f*** around I whoop that a** Until its all shitty Spank that a** Like you owe me three fitty No I ain't playing I'm here to whoop a** Whoop that a** No time for lunch break I'm the one who brings you pain in the night I'll whoop that a** till the morning light [Verse 2] Already told you I do not play I'll beat that a** every single day I whoop that a** Up and down the block Spank that a** Til they call the cops

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl This hit single by Sammy "Bo" Jackson was a Fathers Day favorite played by dads everywhere. Sam's own father use to sing a version of this song to him before he would go get his belt. Sam's father didn't like the incoming fashion of skinny ties and thin belts, and in response he started his own collection of giant over-sized ties and belts. 'Needless to say' his children, including Sammy "Bo", were the most well behaved children in their entire town. Lyrics [Verse 1] All day long all you do is play you never seem to want to obey Just wait until daddy gets back This belts gonna whoop that a** [Verse 2] Kids have a hard time listening Dads got a black belt in discipline I pity the fool who eats the last rib Do not test me kids (oh sh*t!) [Chorus 1] Son its gonna hurt like hell Feel pain like you've never felt Give your a** a giant welt When daddy gets his belt (Woo! yeah) [Bridge] If you break my turntable (turntable) I will make you disabled (disabled) Don't you dare scratch daddy's car (oh no) Or he will leave you a bad a** scar (yeah!) [Verse 3] Daddy's belt is completely unstoppable With pain that seems physically impossible Hope you stayed out of trouble today Cuz daddy is on his way (oh sh*t!) [Chorus 2] Son its gonna hurt like hell Feel pain like you've never felt Give your a** a giant welt When daddy gets his belt (Woo! yeah) [Chorus 3] Son its gonna hurt like hell Feel pain like you've never felt Give your a** a giant welt When daddy gets his belt (Woo! yeah) [Outro] Daddy's gonna whoop that a** oh yeah

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Dennis "Diamond Hands" Reynolds was the original power slap champion back in the early 70s. He recorded this hit party funk single "B*tch Slap" as an ode to his ex bottom b*tch. Lyrics [Verse 1] Asking for dinner ain't asking for much You had one job and still f*cked it up Sometimes you gotta learn respect I use my pimp hand to correct [Chorus] Its called a b*tch slap (b*tch slap!) Come get your face clapped (face clapped!) Come get your lip smacked (smack smack!) You need a b*tch slap (oh oh yeah!) [Verse 2] I make money but you spend it all Don't make me leave to get some menthols I won't wait to ditch you b*tch Before I go just one more hit [Chorus] Its called a b*tch slap (b*tch slap!) Come get your face clapped (face clapped!) Come get your lip smacked (smack smack!) You need a b*tch slap (oh oh yeah!)

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #80svinyl #80sfunk This funk single by "Nick Ross and The Patriots" was released at the peak of the a*ds fear ep*demic / media prop*ganda campaign during the early 1980s. Nick wrote this song to mock the fear and paranoia being spread by the g*vernment and media, which at that time was making people afraid to swim, even in the middle of a summer heat wave. Lyrics [Verse 1] We're in the middle of a heat wave But you need to close the pool today No joke its a serious matter You need someone to block the ladder [Verse 2] Had to slap a b*tch right in the face She was bleeding all over the place Now the water may test positive Best close the pool if you wanna live [Chorus] Pools closed (pools closed) Pools closed for today Pools closed (pools closed) Pools closed due to a*ds [Bridge] Summer is here can't get any hotter But we can't swim because there's blood in the water Don't swim if you don't wanna get a*ds Don't swim unless you're already g*y [Verse 3] I cut a b*tch on the water slide Stuck in the tube cuz her a** was too wide Now there's aids at the water park More dangerous than swimming with sharks [Outro] Block the ladder, block block the ladder Block the ladder, block block the ladder You don't wanna get aids b*tch

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk Rare mono 45 funk single by singer and Vietnam war vet Seymour Tamzarian. This song was about Seymour's experience playing at a large outdoor music festival similar to Woodstock in the late 1960s where Seymour had accidentally ingested LSD by eating a laced sugar cube. Seymour began experiencing hallucinations which triggered his PTSD causing him to start randomly punching audience members while laughing hysterically. To this day some claim that Seymour had made up the story about LSD and was simply using it as an excuse to beat up hippies. Lyrics You're all about peace and love But you look like a f*cking bum Your slogan is f*cking dumb I'm singing die hippie scum F*ck off with your hippie sh*t Coexist with my fist If I don't get peace and quiet This drum circle will get violent F*ck you and the environment F*ck your g*y enlightenment F*ck off with your hippie sh*t Coexist with my fist Incense weed and patchouli The hippie smell is unruly Wear a bra and shave your pits Take a shower dirty b*tch F*ck off with your hippie sh*t Coexist with my fist If you keep playing Grateful Dead I will kick you in the head It's part of nature to get your a** kicked Don't worry my fist is all organic

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #80svinyl #80sfunk This funk single by "Stan Lee Hooker" is said to be based on real events Stan witnessed during his decade long friendship with fellow singer and musician Cornelius "Backhand" Jackson. Lyrics [Verse 1] I'll tell you the story of a man A radioactive pimp bit his hand His hand grew ten times it's normal size To help him get his money on time He knew if a b*tch was telling a lie Which was one hundred percent of the time Super powers to make a b*tch listen Then get her naked with s*x ray vision Leap a police station in a single bound Slapping bitches down to the f*cking ground His name was famous across the land They called him the pimp named super hand [Chorus 1] (Oh sh*t yeah) it's pimp named super hand He had powers no other pimp had (Oh f*ck yeah) it's pimp named super hand That mother f*cker was super bad [Verse 2] He was given super human strength He could hear the cops from miles away Played the funkiest music ever played I heard him sing "B*tch I wear a cape" Pimp hand fast as a speeding bullet That makes a b*tch pay up to the fullest He hates snitches more than kryptonite and when stupid bitches just can't act right Super hand don't put up with lying He will crush a cold b*tch in to diamonds B*tch better have his money on time Or super hand will do a super crime [Chorus 2] (Oh sh*t yeah) it's pimp named super hand He had powers no other pimp had (Oh f*ck yeah) it's pimp named super hand That mother fucker was super bad [Chorus 3] (Oh sh*t yeah) it's pimp named super hand He had powers no other pimp had (Oh f*ck yeah) it's pimp named super hand That mother fucker was super bad [Outro End] Oh sh*t b*tch mother f*ck yeah oh yeah

Introducing 'You Drive Like Sh*t' - the vinyl that proves even if her driving skills are questionable, her taste in music is impeccable. Nieces and nephews, pop this on the turntable, sit back, and enjoy the ride... just make sure you're holding onto something! Lyrics [Verse 1] Baby! You drive like sh*t Did you see that car that you almost hit I'd rather take the bus instead Riding with you I'm gonna end up dead [Turnaround] Don't ask me if I need a lift Baby you drive like sh*t [Verse 2] She just ran through a four way stop I ain't trying to get stopped by the cops Baby! Why the hell did I let you drive Its a miracle that you're still alive [Turnaround] Don't ask me if I need a lift Baby you drive like sh*t [Chorus] Woah woah woah woah Look out! My girl is driving Watch out! My girl drives like sh*t Woah woah woah woah Look out! My girl is driving Watch out! My girl drives like sh*t

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70svinyl #70sfunk This funk single by "Thurgood Jenkins and The Custodians" was a smash hit all across the USA, from Hell's Kitchen to Spatula City and beyond. Thurgood had two part time jobs to help make ends meet, one job as a janitor and one as a dishwasher. After a long day of work, the very last thing Thurgood wanted to do was wash dishes. Lyrics [Verse 1] Dinner is over but your still not done I see these plates and cups stacking up You better finish all of your work or dessert is really gonna hurt [Chorus 1] In this kitchen b*tches do dishes (Do the dishes) B*tch do the dishes In this kitchen (In this kitchen) In this kitchen b*tches do dishes [Verse 2] Baby I'm trying to eat this pork But I can't even find one clean fork If you don't make it clean and spiffy I'll take your a** to spatula city [Chorus 2] In this kitchen b*tches do dishes (Do the dishes) B*tch do the dishes In this kitchen (In this kitchen) In this kitchen b*tches do dishes [Verse 3] Step one hold your tongue and grab a sponge Step two you grab a mop and a broom Don't stop til the kitchen is spotless I expect you to do it topless [Chorus 3] In this kitchen b*tches do dishes (Do the dishes) B*tch do the dishes In this kitchen (In this kitchen) In this kitchen b*tches do dishes

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Rare side C of "I Whoop That Ass" by 'Charlie Murphy and The Line Steppers'. In this edition, Charlie and his band take their habitual infighting to the ring in a professional sanctioned fight. Charlie and the band decided to make their own rules for the fight, which at that time could only be described as "Musician Martial Arts". Lyrics [Verse] The whooping ain't over Heard you think your tough Gotta let you know I will f*** you up I whoop that a** For talking all that shit Spank that a** Till you tap like a b*tch No I ain't playing I'm here to kick a** Whoop that a** Its time to punch face I'm the one who brings you pain in the ring I'll whoop that a** until the bell rings [Verse 2] Already know that I do not play Throw a punch like I'm cutting down hay I whoop that a** Every single night Spank that a** Till they stop the fight

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #bardcore #tavernwave #neomedievalmusic Hark, fair ladies and gentlefolk, gather ye near and hear a song from yesteryear. I present ye an hit single written and performed by Sir Bartholomew Jackson. Lyrics [Verse 1] All thou dost is talk talk talk But thou never listen (can ye hear me!) Get thine a** back in the kitchen And make me some chicken [Turnaround] Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Verse 2] My pimp hand is strong And my patience is thin (so thin) Quit all thy b*tchen, Get back in the kitchen (I'm hungry) [Turnaround] Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Chorus] Thou shalt not test me b*tch I will use my fist I will smack thy lip I will bust thy sh*t [Bridge] Talk back one more time (just one more time) And this will be the scene of a crime [Turnaround] Try me b*tch, I dare thee (Double dare thee b*tch) [Verse 3] My pimp hand is strong And my patience is thin (so thin) Quit all thy b*tchen Get back in the kitchen (I'm hungry) [Turnaround] Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Chorus] Thou shalt not test me b*tch I will use my fist I will smack thy lip I will bust thy sh*t [Turnaround] Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Chorus] Thou shalt not test me b*tch I will use my fist I will smack thy lip I will bust thy sh*t [Outro End] Try me b*tch, I dare thee

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #bardcore #tavernwave #neomedievalmusic Hear ye, hear ye! Lend ye ears to this hit song performed by Sir Bartholomew Jackson. Lyrics [Verse 1] Maiden! Thou drivest like sh*t Didst thou see that bard that thou almost hit I'd rather take the ox cart instead Riding with thee I shalt end up dead Ask me not if I need a lift Maiden thou drivest like sh*t [Verse 2] She just drove through the bailiff's crop I do not want to get the executioners block Maiden! Heavens why did I let thee drive Tis' a miracle thou art still alive Ask me not if I need a lift Maiden thou drivest like sh*t [Chorus] Woah woah woah woah Look out! My damsel driveth Watch out! My damsel driveth like sh*t Woah woah woah woah Look out! My damsel driveth Watch out! My damsel driveth like sh*t [Bridge] Darling! Thou art such a sh*tty driver How in hades didst thou get thy reins She sayeth nay ever crashed she afore Save she was hit by the byre's store Ask me not if I need a lift Maiden thou drivest like sh*t [Chorus] Woah woah woah woah Look out! My damsel driveth Watch out! My damsel driveth like sh*t Woah woah woah woah Look out! My damsel driveth Watch out! My damsel driveth like sh*t

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #bardcore #tavernwave #neomedievalmusic #halloweenmusic Hark, fair ladies and gentlefolk, I present ye another hit song originally from 1489..., performed by Sir Bartholomew Jackson and The Squires. Lyrics [Verse 1] We're slapping witches and slaying dragons Bundling sticks to burn all the *******s (F*ck yeah!) We'll all go drink some brews at the tavern Then I'll give my lady a good hard javelin (I'm horny!) Crusade the witch (Crusade the witch!) [Verses 2] We're burning witches throughout the village Smacking b*tches with zero f*cks given (Zero f*cks!) We're killing everyone who does magic tricks Now hold my beer while I slap this b*tch (F*ck yeah!) Crusade the witch (Crusade this b*tch!) [Chorus 1] The King sent us on a mission To hunt all the evil witches (Burn the witch!) If you weigh the same as a duck You're completely f*cked (Shes' a witch!) [Bridge] If a wench tries to stop our crusading We'll put her in an iron maiden Crusade the witch (Crusade the witch!) [Verse 3] If you are dumb enough to cross my path I'll crusade my foot up your sorry a** (Sh*t yeah!) After we win one hundred and nine times We'll party like its fourteen ninety nine (Let's go!) Crusade the witch (Crusade this b*tch!) [Chorus 2] The King sent us on a mission To hunt all the evil witches (Burn the witch!) If you weigh the same as a duck You're completely f*cked (Shes' a witch!) [Chorus 3] The King sent us on a mission To hunt all the evil witches (Burn the witch!) If you weigh the same as a duck You're completely f*cked (Oh f*ck yeah!) [Outro End] Try me witch, I dare thee

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #comedy #classicvinyl #hardarchive #90s #slowjams #randb #Christmasmusic Rare 90's R&B winter time single by American vocalist harmony duo Jersey Mike & Jimmy John, produced by Phil Lee Cheestake. This sultry slow jam is about delicious memories of a winter past when Mike and his girlfriend were stuck inside a cabin for a week due to a large snowstorm. Lyrics [Verse 1] It looks like we're gonna be snowed in Baby! Where do you think you're going? It's too cold outside for you to leave b*tch Stay and make me a turkey sandwich [Chorus] When there's a snow jam (When there's a snow jam) I play those slow jams (Play me those slow jams) I like it slow, but some things I like fast By the way, baby where's my sandwich at? [Verse 2] You've been stuck inside the house all day Yet somehow lunch is still running late B*tch! You should never underestimate The need for a sandwich on my plate [Chorus] When there's a snow jam (When there's a snow jam) I play those slow jams (Play me those slow jams) I like it slow, but some things I like fast By the way, baby where's my sandwich at? [Bridge] (Ooh ooh) Baby it's cold outside I need you to make cold cuts inside Now hurry up with those sandwiches Or your face will need bandages (Oh sh*t!) [Verse 3] Do I need to show you how to make it? Baby! It's not that complicated All the snow outside has left you stranded You're not leaving til I get my sandwich [Chorus] When there's a snow jam (When there's a snow jam) I play those slow jams (Play me those slow jams) I like it slow, but some things I like fast By the way, baby where's my sandwich at?

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #swing #christmasmusic #swingjazz Frank Sinatra's comedy version of "Deck The Halls" from his never released 1953 Christmas comedy album. According to some music historians, Frank wrote this song version about the open ended game of "nut tag" between him and Dean Martin. Sack tapping is a slang term for a game where a participant attacks, by slapping, tapping, punching, kicking, elbowing, twisting, or backhanding a victim's testicles. The term derived from 'sack', slang that refers to the scrotum, and the activity is a form of groin attack. It is also called "nut tag", "bag tag", "sack whack", "bell flicking" and "roshambo". Starting in 1960 shortly after the singing group "The Rat Pack" was formed, Frank and Dean started a game of nut tag that would last until 1995 when Dean passed away at the age of 78, which finally ended the game. Some speculate that Dean suffered from "nutcracker syndrome" (NCS) results most commonly from the compression of the left renal vein (LRV) between the abdominal aorta and superior mesenteric artery. The name derives from the fact that, in the sagittal plane and/or transverse plane, the SMA and AA (with some imagination) appear to be a nutcracker crushing a nut (the renal vein). There is a wide spectrum of clinical presentations and diagnostic criteria are not well defined, which frequently results in delayed or incorrect diagnosis. The first clinical report of Nutcracker phenomenon appeared in 1950. Dean's large donations to help fund NCS research fueled further speculation into the possibility that Dean suffered from NCS, most likely caused by his and Frank's 35 year long game of nut tag. Lyrics Fa la la la la, la la la la) (Fa la la la la, la la f***er) Oh sh*t no Deck the b*lls with fists of fury (Fa la la la la, la la la la) Feel the sting your n*ts are hurting (Fa la la la la, la la la la) Don we now you are g*y apparel (Fa la la, la la la, la la f**) Deck the b*lls until they're sterile (Fa la la la la, la la f*ck yeah) (Fa la la la la, fa la f*ck yeah!) Watch my f*cking fist hit your n*ts (Fa la la la la, la la la la) Strike your balls with my hardest punch (Fa la la la la, la la la la) Laughing as your n*ts get blasted (Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha) Your b*lls just got both their a** kicked (Fa la la la la, la la f*ck yeah) (Fa la la la la, la la f*ck yeah!) We'll see who's fist is fastest (Fa la la la la, la la la la) I'll kick all your f*cking a**es (Fa la la la la, la la la la) One more n*t punch for good measure (Fa la la, la la la, la la la) That one's called a double decker (Fa la la la la, la la f*ck yeah) (Fa la la la la, la la f*ck yeah!) Deck the b*lls with fists of fury (Fa la la la la, la la la la) Feel the sting your n*ts are hurting (Fa la la la la, la la la la) Don we now you are g*y apparel (Fa la la, la la la, la la f**) Deck the b*lls until they're sterile (Fa la la la la, la la f*ck yeah) (Fa la la la la, la la f*ck yeah!)

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #country #bluegrass #christmasmusic This barn burner by Cody and The Chestnuts is considered to be one of the finest bluegrass tunes of all time. This obscure single comes from the 1980 multi genre holiday compilation album "Have Scotch Will Travel". In the 90's during a Rolling Stone magazine interview with The Chestnuts, Cody talked about his inspiration for writing this song, simply saying quote "Grandma enjoyed adult beverages. Grandma also really loved operating motor vehicles. She was the best". Lyrics [Verse 1] Grandma's backing out of the driveway Now she's going thirty five on the highway Her name isn't Candy but she's got a cane Her Grand Marquis is taking up both lanes (Look Out! Grandma is driving!) Oh no! [Chorus 1] Grandma got drunk again on Rainier (she got drunk) Then she drove her car over Santa's reindeer (it went thump) Grandma is driving to get herself some more beer We should've took away her license last year [Verse 2] She smokes cigarettes with an oxygen tank She's gotta go to the post office and the bank Grandma needs the Sunday paper before it's gone She's trying to get home before Wheel of Fortune's on (Look Out! Grandma is driving!) Oh no! [Chorus 2] Grandma got drunk again on Rainier (she got drunk) Then she drove her car over Santa's reindeer (it went thump) Grandma is driving to get herself some more beer We should've took away her license last year [Bridge] Grandma will put the pedal to the metal She's never late to the early bird special Grandma comes from the greatest generation She thinks stop lights are Christmas decorations [Verse 3] She ran over Santa, Rudolph, and Frosty While listening to white Christmas by Bing Crosby Grandma's driving with her turn signal flashing She's bad at parking, but she's great at crashing [Chorus 3] Grandma got drunk again on Rainier (she got drunk) Then she drove her car over Santa's reindeer (it went thump) Grandma is driving to get herself some more beer We should've took away her license last year Woah woah woah! Merry crashmas!

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #soulmusic #60ssoul #motown Here is an obscure soul funk Christmas single written and performed by singer, pimp, and part-time high school librarian "Cool" James Smith aka "A Pimp Named Paperback". James wrote this hit holiday tune about his experiences on one Christmas eve night during a stakeout waiting for Santa Claus to show up at his home. Lyrics [Verse 1] It should be quiet as a mouse But not with a woman in the house If you keep talking back to me You're gonna sleep in heavenly peace [Chorus] I will GIVE you a silent night I will tuck you in bed real tight You'll sleep until the morning light B*tch! I'll GIVE you a silent night [Verse 2] Baby! I only want one gift The gift of you shutting your lip If I don't get just one quiet night The cops will have to read me my rights [Chorus] I will GIVE you a silent night I will tuck you in bed real tight You'll sleep until the morning light B*tch! I'll GIVE you a silent night [Bridge] You better stop acting like a child Or your face will be tender and mild Come hug me by the Christmas tree Now close your eyes and go to sleep Go to sleep, b*tch [Verse 3] It's quiet now so I can hear Santa took my cookies last year I'm waiting here by the chimney His fat a** still owes me three fitty [Chorus] I will GIVE you a silent night I will tuck you in bed real tight You'll sleep until the morning light B*tch! I'll GIVE you a silent night Sweet dreams, b*tch

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #soulmusic #70ssoul #christmasmusic Rare 70's soul cover version of Harold Bawls Christmas hit single "Jingle Balls" performed by Jimmy Shaft and The Sweater Puppies. Lyrics [Chorus] Jingle b*lls, jingle b*lls, jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to rub my big b*lls in your face (Hey!) Jingle b*lls, jingle b*lls, jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to jingle my b*lls in your face [Verse] Slapping stupid h*es, to put b*tches in their place Under my crotch you go, tea bagging your face Sweaty n*t sack drips, grab my p*nis tight What fun it is to rub and squeeze my jingle b*lls tonight

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #funkmusic #70sfunk #christmasmusic Extremely rare 1970's Christmas funk single about the gift that keeps on giving. Artist info to be updated soon. Merry Fistmas! Lyrics [Verse 1] Girl! You're pushing your f*cking luck All you got me is a pair of socks Let's see if you can take a punch Your gift is my fist in a box [Chorus 1] Merry Fistmas, here ya go b*tch You should've got me something on my wish list All you got me was a pair of socks Here's your gift, it's my fist in a box [Verse 2] It's time for us to open gifts Everyone gather around the tree B*tch you're on my naughty list This last gift is from me [Chorus 2] Merry Fistmas, here ya go b*tch You should've got me something on my wish list All you got me was a pair of socks Here's your gift, it's my fist in a box Merry Fistmas b*tch! [Verse 3] This ugly sweater makes me itch Hope you got everything you want Now it's time to unwrap one last gift Surprise! It's my other fist in a box [Chorus 3] Merry Fistmas, here ya go b*tch You should've got me something on my wish list All you got me was a pair of socks Here's your gift, it's my fist in a box Merry Fistmas b*tch!

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #soulmusic #60ssoul #christmasmusic Here is one of the only copies still left in existence of this bizarre take on Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" performed by soul singer Jessie Lee Peterstone. Jessie grew up in the Jim Crow era and was one of the only black pro segregation activists at the time. Jessie wrote this song about how he thought Christmas was much better during segregation and that quote "Christmas just FEELS white". Most of the copies of this record were destroyed in "the great record shop fires" during race riots in the summer of 1966 while looters stole the rest, making this one of the rarest 60's era soul records in the world. Lyrics [Verse 1] I'm dreaming of a whites only Christmas Just like the ones I used to know Where no one looks different The browns are restricted And blacks aren't allowed to go [Verse 2] I'm dreaming of a whites only Christmas With every Christmas card I write May your days be merry and bright And may your Christmas be only whites [Verse 3] I'm dreaming of a whites only Christmas Just like the ones I used to know Where no one looks different The browns are restricted And blacks aren't allowed to go [Verse 4] I'm dreaming of a whites only Christmas With every Christmas card I write May your days be merry and bright And may your Christmas be only whites May your days be merry and bright And may your Christmas be only whites

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #soulmusic #60ssoul #christmasmusic Extremely rare 1960's Christmas soul single by Tiny Herman and The Milkmen. Tiny wrote this song about the eighth day of Christmas, saying "it's by far the most important day of the twelve days of Christmas". This holiday hit single was at the top of the pop charts for exactly eight days in December 1968 before being knocked off by Aretha Franklin's feminist anthem "Think". Lyrics [Verse 1] Baby! I don't want no birds in a pear tree I just want to watch these ladies squeeze Ooh yeah! [Chorus 1] Eight maids a milking (eight maids) I want eight maids a milking (that's hot!) Give me eight maids a milking (f*ck yeah) I need eight maids a milking (that's a lot of milk!) [Verse 2] Baby! I don't need any of those fancy gifts I just want to see those awesome t*ts Woo! Yeah [Chorus 2] Eight maids a milking (eight maids) I want eight maids a milking (that's hot!) Give me eight maids a milking (f*ck yeah) I need eight maids a milking (that's a lot of milk!) [Bridge] There's ten lords a leaping to peep through the window Trying to see all that sweet milk flow (oh yeah!) The pipers all start piping with their pipes With their skin flutes they bang out tunes all night (Woo!) [Verse 3] Baby! I don't care about those stocking fillers I just want to see those sweet sweet milkers Oh yeah! [Chorus 3] Eight maids a milking (eight maids) I want eight maids a milking (that's hot!) Give me eight maids a milking (f*ck yeah) I need eight maids a milking (that's a lot of milk!) [Chorus 4] Eight maids a milking (eight maids) I want eight maids a milking (that's hot!) Give me eight maids a milking (f*ck yeah) I need eight maids a milking (that's a lot of milk!) Merry Milkmas!

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #soulmusic #60ssoul #christmasmusic Obscure holiday hit soul single from the 1960's written and performed by Eddie "Dice Game" Jefferson. During an interview Eddie was asked why Pimpmas was seven days rather than twelve to which he responded "I got seven b*tches standing in front of the 7-11 seven days a week. I like the number seven. When I roll dice ain't nothing but sevens. Besides, ain't no b*tch can count to twelve anyhow." Lyrics [Verse 1] On the first day of Pimpmas, My best b*tch gave to me All of my f*cking money [Verse 2] On the second day of Pimpmas, My b*tch didn't listen Get your a** back in the kitchen [Chorus 1] H*es h*es h*es! Merry Pimpmas H*es h*es h*es! Merry Pimpmas [Verse 3] On the third day of Pimpmas, Quit all of your b*tchen Now go make me some fried chicken [Verse 4] On the fourth day of Pimpmas, Don't make me use my fist I'll smack your lip I'll bust your sh*t [Chorus 2] H*es h*es h*es! Merry Pimpmas H*es h*es h*es! Merry Pimpmas [Verse 4] On the fifth day of Pimpmas, You better not talk sh*t Double dare you to try me b*tch [Verse 5] On the sixth day of Pimpmas, You don't want to test me B*tch better have all my money [Verse 6] On the seventh day of Pimpmas, She talked back one more time Now this is the scene of a crime [Chorus 3] H*es h*es h*es! Merry Pimpmas H*es h*es h*es! Merry Pimpmas [End] H*es h*es h*es! Merry Pimpmas!

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #hardarchive Rare 1990's recording of a live music service at Grace Southern Baptist Church performed by Benny Baylamb and The Spatula City Baptist Choir. During the early 90's Benny led his congregation and choir in what was considered some of the most exciting high energy gospel music performances of all time. Benny was known for slapping church members, choir singers, deacons and especially church ladies during his fiery sermons and sweaty live music performances. In this recording Benny gives a nod to longtime friend and fellow church member Cornelius "Backhand" Jackson with this extremely rare live gospel version of his hit single "Don't Test Me B*tch" which he performed after giving his most famous sermon. Benny was a Baptist minister and a powerful speaker who used evocative language to connect with his audience. His speeches were rhetorically profound, and his cadence, pacing, and preacher-like drama brought passion to his words like "hallelujah" and "sheeeiiiiit". In his most famous sermon Benny warns believers about the dangers of letting women out of the kitchen, and how feminism would swiftly bring about the destruction of the world, calling feminism "the fifth horseman of the apocalypse". He goes on to say "Armageddon happens when people forget to obey the eleventh commandment, Thou shalt not test me b*tch!". Lyrics [Verse 1] All you do is talk talk talk But you never listen (can you hear me!) Get your a** back in the kitchen And make me some chicken Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Verse 2] My pimp hand is strong And my patience is thin (so thin) Quit all your b*tchen, Get back in the kitchen (I'm hungry) Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Chorus] Do not test me b*tch I will use my fist I will smack your lip I will bust your sh*t [Bridge] Talk back one more time (just one more time) And this will be the scene of a crime Try me b*tch, I dare you (Double dare you b*tch) [Verse 3] My pimp hand is strong And my patience is thin (so thin) Quit all your b*tchen Get back in the kitchen (I'm hungry) Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Chorus] Do not test me b*tch I will use my fist I will smack your lip I will bust your sh*t Try me b*tch, I dare you (Double dare you b*tch)

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #soulmusic #60ssoul #christmasmusic Rare 60's doo-wop soul Christmas single by Harold Bawls and The Swingers. Lyrics [Chorus] Jingle b*lls, jingle b*lls, jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to rub my big b*lls in your face (Hey!) Jingle b*lls, jingle b*lls, jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to jingle my b*lls in your face [Verse] Slapping stupid h*es, to put b*tches in their place Over my crotch you go, laughing cause you're g*y Hands on b*ll sacks swing, grabbing wieners tight What fun it is to rub and squeeze my jingle b*lls tonight

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #soulmusic #60ssoul #motown Extremely rare soul funk single by Robbie Freeman and The Discipline. Happy Spanksgiving! Lyrics [Intro] (You better watch your a**) Oh yeah (You better watch your a**) All right [Verse 1] You got a lot to appreciate But you never stop to say thanks (say thanks) If you're not grateful on this day You're gonna get your dumb a** spanked (oh yeah) [Chorus 1] We've got turkey with all the dressings Every year you should count your blessings Today there will be none of your b*tching You better watch your a** (Watch your a**!) on Spanksgiving [Verse 2] You need to show respect at the table Or your a** might get spanked with a ladle (pass the gravy) Shut your big mouth while we say grace Pass the potatoes or I'll mash your face (Amen!) [Chorus 2] We've got turkey with all the dressings Every year you should count your blessings Today there will be none of your b*tching You better watch your a** (Watch your a**!) on Spanksgiving [Bridge] Don't lecture me about the pilgrims (no no) You don't want me to call Whoop A** Williams (oh sh*t!) You'll learn history from another angle Then he'll whoop that a** until you're thankful Say thank you! (Thank you!) [Verse 3] When I ask you to pass the stuffing You should know I'm not f*cking around I need my strength for black Friday I'm going to brawl at the mall downtown [Chorus 3] We've got turkey with all the dressings Every year you should count your blessings Today there will be none of your b*tching You better watch your a** (Watch your a**!) on Spanksgiving [Chorus 4] We've got turkey with all the dressings Every year you should count your blessings Today there will be none of your b*tching You better watch your a** (Watch your a**!) on Spanksgiving [Outro End] You better watch your a** Oh yeah

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #thrashmetal #rock #metal #punk In a post apocalyptic hellscape the great bone wars rage on as mutant warrior factions battle for control of the Bone Zone within middle earth. He who has the power to break the the sacred wishbone shall have all his wishes granted by the advanced artificial intelligence cybernetic fifty foot tall robot turkey called The Great Gobbler. Whoever wins the great bone wars shall rule the dinner table and the realm.

#obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #hardarchive #funk #80svinyl #80sfunk #cassette Never released 80's funk pop single by Spud MacKenzie. This song was intended to be used as a jingle in a string of snack commercials for the Frito-Lay food company. Lays planned to release new crunchy peanut butter flavored chips called "The CRUNCH", but the snack was swiftly banned by the FDA after a small test run of the product kept knocking people's teeth out. The 1938 Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act (FDCA) prohibits the sale of confectionery products that contain a non-nutritive object that is partially or totally contained within the food. After testing the product, the FDA determined "The CRUNCH" in violation of the 1938 act because it was quote "way too f*cking crunchy". Lyrics [Intro Music] Ooh yeah Are you hungry b*tch? It's snack time [Verse 1] These chips are way f*cking better than the others They're flavored with extra crunchy peanut butter They got the taste that your b*tch a** just can't resist And every bag comes with my f*cking fist (eat this!) [Chorus 1] You need to taste the crunch (oh yeah) You need a snack to munch (eat this!) I don't care if it's too early for lunch Taste the f*cking crunch (taste the crunch!) [Verse 2] The crunch is too much for small children and seniors Getting caught with these chips is a misdemeanor The first snack food to be banned by the FDA Cause the crunch can knock the teeth right out of your face [Chorus 2] You're gonna taste the crunch (oh yeah) You need a snack to munch (eat this!) I don't care if it's too early for lunch Taste the f*cking crunch (taste the crunch!) Taste it b*tch! [Guitar Solo] [Verse 3] The back of the bag says Warning! Extra crunch! May be deadly if you're allergic to peanuts I'll bet all my money you can't eat just one chip After you taste the mother f*cking crunch B*tch! [Chorus 3] You need to taste the crunch (oh yeah) You need a snack to munch (eat this!) I don't care if it's too early for lunch Taste the f*cking crunch (taste the crunch!) [Chorus 4] You're gonna taste the crunch (oh yeah) You need a snack to munch (eat this!) I don't care if it's too early for lunch Taste the f*cking crunch (taste the crunch!)

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #doowopmusic #soul #50s #hardarchive Here is a cover version of Jefferson D'Arcy and The Neighbors obscure hit single "No B*tch November" performed by Billie Jean Holladay. The new family holiday tradition of spending zero time with any women quickly gained popularity, and several cover versions of this song were recorded by various artists in celebration of the new November tradition. Lyrics [Verse 1] You look like a b*tch (You look like a b*tch) You sound like a b*tch (You sound like a b*tch) [Chorus] You gotta stop (stop) being a b*tch til December Cause this is no b*tch November (No b*tch November) [Verse 2] You walk like a b*tch (You walk like a b*tch) You talk like a b*tch (You talk like a b*tch) [Chorus] You gotta stop (stop) being a b*tch til December Cause this is no b*tch November (No b*tch November) Oh f*ck yeah b*tch! [Bridge] My new November tradition Is thirty days without your b*tchen All I really want for Christmas Is one month without any b*tches (Oh yeah!) [Verse 3] You act like a b*tch (You act like a b*tch) Talk back like a b*tch (Don't talk back you b*tch) [Chorus] You gotta stop (stop) being a b*tch til December Cause this is no b*tch November (No b*tch November) [Chorus] You gotta stop (stop) being a b*tch til December Cause this is no b*tch November (No b*tch November) Oh f*ck yeah b*tch!

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #bardcore #tavernwave #neomedievalmusic #halloweenmusic Bard Archive's dance remix of Sir Bartholomew Jackson and The Squires' hit song originally from 1489... Lyrics [Verse 1] We're slapping witches and slaying dragons Bundling sticks to burn all the *******s (F*ck yeah!) We'll all go drink some brews at the tavern Then I'll give my lady a good hard javelin (I'm horny!) Crusade the witch (Crusade the witch!) [Verses 2] We're burning witches throughout the village Smacking b*tches with zero f*cks given (Zero f*cks!) We're killing everyone who does magic tricks Now hold my beer while I slap this b*tch (F*ck yeah!) Crusade the witch (Crusade this b*tch!) [Chorus 1] The King sent us on a mission To hunt all the evil witches (Burn the witch!) If you weigh the same as a duck You're completely f*cked (Shes' a witch!) [Bridge] If a wench tries to stop our crusading We'll put her in an iron maiden Crusade the witch (Crusade the witch!) [Verse 3] If you are dumb enough to cross my path I'll crusade my foot up your sorry a** (Sh*t yeah!) After we win one hundred and nine times We'll party like its fourteen ninety nine (Let's go!) Crusade the witch (Crusade this b*tch!) [Chorus 2] The King sent us on a mission To hunt all the evil witches (Burn the witch!) If you weigh the same as a duck You're completely f*cked (Shes' a witch!) [Chorus 3] The King sent us on a mission To hunt all the evil witches (Burn the witch!) If you weigh the same as a duck You're completely f*cked (Oh f*ck yeah!) [Outro End] Try me witch, I dare thee

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #bardcore #tavernwave #neomedievalmusic Hark! A merry tune of the 1500's performed by Sir Edward Sirin, a ballad so bold and brash, it doth sing of women, once weary and wandering, returning to their kitchens with great zest! Forsooth, no longer shall they prattle nor prance in the streets, for their rightful place, so saith the jolly minstrel, is round the bubbling pot and hearthstone. With spatulas raised, they shalt stir, bake, and roast, whilst men folk bask in the glory of their well-fed bellies. Now away with thy nonsense and back to the hearth, fair maidens! Lyrics [Verse 1] All thou dost is talk talk talk But thou never listen (can ye hear me!) Get thine a** back in the kitchen And make me some chicken [Turnaround] Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Verse 2] My pimp hand is strong And my patience is thin (so thin) Quit all thy b*tchen, Get back in the kitchen (I'm hungry) [Turnaround] Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Chorus] Thou shalt not test me b*tch I will use my fist I will smack thy lip I will bust thy sh*t [Bridge] Talk back one more time (just one more time) And this will be the scene of a crime [Turnaround] Try me b*tch, I dare thee (Double dare thee b*tch) [Verse 3] My pimp hand is strong And my patience is thin (so thin) Quit all thy b*tchen Get back in the kitchen (I'm hungry) [Turnaround] Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Chorus] Thou shalt not test me b*tch I will use my fist I will smack thy lip I will bust thy sh*t [Turnaround] Don't test me b*tch (Don't test me b*tch) [Chorus] Thou shalt not test me b*tch I will use my fist I will smack thy lip I will bust thy sh*t [Outro End] Try me b*tch, I dare thee

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk 1974 cover of Seymour Tamzarian's obscure funk single "Coexist With My Fist" by grizzled war veteran Major Payne Hurts, who played flute in the marching band with Seymour during their deployment in Vietnam. With a rifle slung over one shoulder and a flute over the other, Payne's music was a love letter to freedom, hate mail to hippies, and a 12-step program for anyone who dared question the American flag. Payne returned to civilian life with a heart full of flag-waving pride and a deep, unwavering suspicion of anyone who wore peace symbols, played the sitar, or said "far out" with a straight face. He found his true calling in pro-war activism and writing pro-war songs that also deplored the so-called "flower children" who were, in his words, "soft as mashed potatoes and twice as useless." His hit single, "Get Your Hair Cut, You F*cking Hippie," topped the charts for almost 17 weeks. Lyrics You're all about peace and love But you look like a f*cking bum Your slogan is f*cking dumb I'm singing die hippie scum F*ck off with your hippie sh*t Coexist with my fist If I don't get peace and quiet This drum circle will get violent F*ck you and the environment F*ck your g*y enlightenment F*ck off with your hippie sh*t Coexist with my fist Incense weed and patchouli The hippie smell is unruly Wear a bra and shave your pits Take a shower dirty b*tch F*ck off with your hippie sh*t Coexist with my fist If you keep playing Grateful Dead I will kick you in the head It's part of nature to get your a** kicked Don't worry my fist is all organic

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #bluegrass #bluegrassmusic #60s #folkmusic #thanksgivingsong Rare 1960's bluegrass folk single presented to you by Hard Archive and Heavy Whip. Richie Thirst and The Thirst Quenchers were a well known Appalachian mountain band of the 70’s. Not many had heard about them until they were contracted by Warner Bros and John Boorman to do the soundtrack for Deliverance. Unaware of what the movie was actually about, Richie Thirst became furious after finding out his banjo line was now notorious for a man on man love scene in the movie. Everyone was confused at his anger, thinking Richie read the script to the movie. What Richie's colleagues were unaware of, was he never learned to read. With Richie's profound handicap coming to light, Richie was convinced to go back to school and complete his grade 1 through 12. After graduating, Richie felt his new calling in life was to help the illiterate, moving on to create a reading program he called “Hooked on Phonics”. Richie's influence was so widespread, Adam Sandler says he was the inspiration for the movie “Billy Madison”. Richie and The Thirst Quenchers later became infamous for their dangerous post show hunting parties. After their concerts, The Thirst Quenchers would hunt whatever local game was available in that area. One night after a show, Billy “The Bass” Hunter would fall victim to a hunting accident. Billy was goofing around with the Turkey call when he was suddenly attacked by Turkeys. Trying to help Billy, Richie shot at the turkeys accidentally killing Billy. To honor Billy, Richie wrote a song about the whole incident. This is that song.

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #doowopmusic #soul #50s Rare original mono 1950's doo-wop barbershop quartet single by Jefferson D'Arcy and The Neighbors. Jefferson wrote this song in celebration of his new family holiday tradition of spending zero time with any women at all, especially his wife. Lyrics [Verse 1] You look like a b*tch (You look like a b*tch) You sound like a b*tch (You sound like a b*tch) [Chorus] You gotta stop (stop) being a b*tch til December Cause this is no b*tch November (No b*tch November) [Verse 2] You walk like a b*tch (You walk like a b*tch) You talk like a b*tch (You talk like a b*tch) [Chorus] You gotta stop (stop) being a b*tch til December Cause this is no b*tch November (No b*tch November) Oh f*ck yeah b*tch! [Bridge] My new November tradition Is thirty days without your b*tchen All I really want for Christmas Is one month without any b*tches (Oh yeah!) [Verse 3] You act like a b*tch (You act like a b*tch) Talk back like a b*tch (Don't talk back you b*tch) [Chorus] You gotta stop (stop) being a b*tch til December Cause this is no b*tch November (No b*tch November) [Chorus] You gotta stop (stop) being a b*tch til December Cause this is no b*tch November (No b*tch November) Oh f*ck yeah b*tch!

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #funk #soul #50s Extremely rare stereo 1950's rhythm and blues soul single written and performed by Buster I. Goode, the legendary soul singer and men's rights slap-tivist leader. Buster grew up in the rural south, saying quote "I couldn't read or write so well, but I could slap a b*tch like ringing a bell!". This chart topping single hit #1 on the Top 100 pop list for a whole week in 1958 until The Coasters' "Yakety Yak" took it's spot, and tragically also took it's spot on peoples' record shelves at home as many copies ended up getting taken out with "the papers and the trash". Thanks to Ike Turner for donating this copy to the archive, making it available again for listening. So clench your fists, let your forehead veins twitch, grab your favorite beverage and let your uncontrollable urge to slap a b*tch meet necessary release. Lyrics [Verse 1] I feel my hand making a fist You make the vein in my forehead twitch I got an itch that I have to scratch I got a b*tch that NEEDS to be slapped [Chorus 1] Baby! You won't stop talking sh*t (shut up!) She just don't know when to quit (give it up) You make it so hard for me to resist (look out!) Sometimes I just HAVE to hit a b*tch (ow!) [Verse 2] Now nothing ever feels quite right You make it hard to sleep at night Baby! My fist needs to get some rest B*tch! I'm not someone you should test [Chorus 2] Baby! You won't stop talking sh*t (shut up!) She just don't know when to quit (give it up) It's impossible for me to resist (look out!) I absolutely HAVE to hit a b*tch [Bridge] I GOT to (hit a b*tch) Oh yeah! I NEED to (hit a b*tch) All right! This is a job that requires a man (oh yeah) Baby! Let me give your mouth a hand [Verse 3] I feel my hand making a fist You make the vein in my forehead twitch I GOT an itch that I HAVE to scratch I got a b*tch that NEEDS to be slapped [Chorus 3] Baby! You won't stop talking sh*t (shut up!) She just don't know when to quit (give it up) You make it so hard for me to resist (look out!) I GOT to, I NEED to, I HAVE to hit a b*tch

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #50s #50srockandroll #rockabilly #halloweenmusic Rare 50's rock and roll Halloween B-side by Melvin "The Pelvis" Presser. Lyrics [Verse 1] I ain't nothing but a Werewolf Humping all the time I ain't nothing but a Werewolf Humping all the time When there's a full moon in the sky You better run and hide [Chorus 1] Every time there is a full moon I gotta coom, I gotta goon You got a leg I'm gonna hump Until your leg is just a stump [Verse 2] I ain't nothing but a Werewolf Cooming all the time I ain't nothing but a Werewolf Gooning all the time When there's a full moon in the sky My red rocket's gonna fly [Chorus 2] Every time there is a full moon I gotta coom, I gotta goon You got a leg I'm gonna hump Until your leg is just a stump [Verse 3] I ain't nothing but a Werewolf Humping all the time I ain't nothing but a Werewolf Humping all the time When there's a full moon in the sky You better run and hide [Chorus 3] Every time I see a full moon I gotta coom, I gotta goon You got a leg I'm gonna hump Until your leg is just a stump I'm gonna hump your leg Oh yeah I'm gonna hump your leg Oh yeah yeah

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #funk #soul #70smusic Terms of Service for Viewing "Lawyers Burning in Hell" Comedy Song on YouTube: 1. Acceptance of Burning By clicking play, you acknowledge that you fully embrace the concept of lawyers experiencing a fiery fate. Any lawyer who happens to be watching is advised to check their insurance policy. 2. Laughter Liability You agree to hold harmless the creators of this song for any spontaneous laughter that may result in beverage spillage, abdominal cramps, or uncontrollable snorting. 3. Non-Lawyer Clause If you are a lawyer, you must watch this video at your own risk. We are not responsible for any legal advice you may try to give during or after viewing. 4. Pun Enforcement You may encounter puns and lawyer jokes that are so bad they might require a brief (pun intended). By watching, you consent to groaning audibly and possibly rolling your eyes. 5. Sharing is Caring You are encouraged to share this video with friends, enemies, and your least favorite lawyer. However, we are not responsible for any litigation that arises from hurt feelings or loss of reputation. 6. Overzealous Interpretation If you find yourself over-analyzing the lyrics for hidden meanings about the legal profession, you may be required to seek immediate assistance from a friend—or a therapist. 7. No Refunds for Bad Jokes All purchases of humor are final. We do not offer refunds for jokes that fail to land, even if they deserve to be sent to hell. 8. Terms Subject to Change These terms may be updated based on the latest courtroom shenanigans or viral memes. Always read the fine print (which is in lawyer-sized font). By proceeding to watch, you affirm that you’re ready to embrace the absurdity and laugh heartily at the plight of our fictional friends in law! Rare funk single by Peter Blunt and The System. Lyrics [Verse 1] Lawyers are worse than parasites Their job is to ruin your whole life You work hard and pay your dues But one wrong move and you'll get your a** sued [Chorus 1] Tonight I'm gonna sleep real well Knowing lawyers burn in hell (Oh yeah yeah yeah) All right! [Verse 2] These b*tch a** lawyers getting paid They're killing art for money's sake I will not cease nor will I desist Get an injunction with my f*cking fist [Chorus 2] Tonight I'm gonna sleep real well Knowing lawyers burn in hell (Oh yeah yeah yeah) Ow! [Verse 3] None of your property is safe They'll copyright everything you make If I get sued and lose my case I'll punch my lawyer in the f*cking face [Chorus 3] Tonight I'm gonna sleep real well Knowing lawyers burn in hell (Oh yeah yeah yeah)

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #opera #rockopera #symphonicrock #symphonicmetal #halloweenmusic Never released title track from the cancelled Broadway show "Bone Zone The Rock Opera". This penultimate show stopping '11 o’clock number' was due to be released the day after the opening night premiere of the Broadway show on Tuesday September 11 2001, as traditionally most Broadway shows open on a Tuesday. The show was cancelled that night with plans to do the opening premiere the following month, but the show was ultimately cancelled after five of the main dancers in the show we're detained and deported. 0:01 Act 1 Enrico Pallazzo Jr 2:09 Act 2 Crucial Taunt 4:52 Act 3 The Rolling Bones

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #piratemusic #halloweenmusic #banjomusic Come aboard and hear this legendary Hallows' Eve sea shanty written and performed by Captain Krunch and The Oops All Barnacles Band. Lyrics [Verse 1] We're out here in these seas (oh yeah!) We're doing as we please (f*ck yeah!) Taking all the candy before Halloween [Chorus 1] Watch me ghost ride the ship We come to steal your sh*t Raiding and plundering Give me your candy b*tch [Verse 3] Candy is so tasty (oh yeah!) Chips ahoy me maties (f*ck yeah!) I'm yelling "there she blows!" to my lady [Chorus 2] Watch me ghost ride the ship We come to steal your sh*t Raiding and plundering Give me your candy b*tch (Arrrr!) [Bridge] I'm sailing with zero depth perception To a thousand islands like salad dressing Come here baby and gimme that booty Help me find one eyed Willy like the Goonies [Verse 3] My puffy shirt is white (oh yeah!) My crew is super tight (f*ck yeah!) Our sea shanties dropping panties every night [Chorus 3] Watch me ghost ride the ship We come to steal your sh*t Raiding and plundering Give me your candy b*tch [Outro End] Oy! All hands on d*ck! (F*ck yeah!)

#obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #funk #70sfunk #halloweenmusic The Halloween version of "B*tch Slap" rewritten and performed by Roger 'Shaggy' Jackson and The Sexorcists. Lyrics [Verse 1] Asking for candy ain't asking for much You had one job and still f*cked it up Sometimes you gotta learn respect I use my pimp hand to correct [Chorus] Its called a witch slap (witch slap!) Come get your face clapped (face clapped!) Come get your lip smacked (smack smack!) You need a witch slap (oh oh yeah!) [Verse 2] I got candy but you ate it all Don't make me leave to get some menthols I won't wait to ditch you witch Before I go just one more hit [Chorus] Its called a witch slap (witch slap!) Come get your face clapped (face clapped!) Come get your lip smacked (smack smack!) You need a witch slap (oh oh yeah!) [Verse 3] Asking for candy ain't asking for much You had one job and still f*cked it up Sometimes you gotta learn respect I use my pimp hand to correct [Chorus] Its called a witch slap (witch slap!) Come get your face clapped (face clapped!) Come get your lip smacked (smack smack!) You need a witch slap (oh oh yeah!)

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #funk #soul #70smusic #randb Obscure 70's funk R&B single written and performed by the dynamic and passionate soul duo Peaches and Skeet. They recorded this hit song during one of their legendary "sweaty funk" studio sessions where Skeeter would turn the thermostat up all the way until everyone in the studio was dripping with sweat in order to replicate the writing process he used at his own bedroom studio (apartment). The rumors from his neighbors were that Skeeter was able to write three songs in just one night, claiming "the whole neighborhood could hear them writing in there". This song was also both Peaches and Skeet's favorite and they claim all three of their children were conceived on stage while performing this song live.

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #comedy #bassmusic #edmmusic #retrogames This is rare and most superior song track from secret level hidden inside Russian Dance Dance Revolution videos game like nesting doll. You have never heard this Boris and Nas-tasha track mix before because you are too weak and pathetic to unlock secret Russian level with your lazy American dance moves! Lyrics Get down b*tch! Get down! Get down b*tch! F*ck yeah!

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #funk #soulmusic #60ssoul #motown Rare and extremely bizarre reworking of Sammy Bo Jackson's hit soul single "Daddy's Belt" performed by Dr Sean and The Voodoo Crew. Lyrics [Verse 1] You're starting to get old and gray Its been some time since Dad passed away But he'll come back if you misbehave With discipline from beyond the grave [Verse 2] Son you better do what's right Or else he'll haunt your a** all night If you don't do what Ghost Dad said He'll ghost slap you upside your head [Chorus] There's no one you can call to help Ghost Dad will give your a** a welt You're gonna wish Dad went to hell When Ghost Dad gets his belt (Woo! Yeah) [Bridge] If you forget to get the mail (get the mail) Ghost Dad's belt will pierce the veil (pierce the veil) Don't you dare sit in Daddy's chair (oh no) Or he'll make you fully impaired (oh yeah!) [Verse 3] Ghost Dad said sorry I've been gone But I had to get away from your mom Be good now and don't make me come back Or Ghost Dad will woop that a** (oh sh*t) [Chorus] There's no one you can call to help Ghost Dad will give your a** a welt You're gonna wish Dad went to hell When Ghost Dad gets his belt (Woo! Yeah)

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #taperip #cassette #music #obscurerecords #60ssoul #funk #soul #60s #bosses Rare original 1960 mono soul single "Punch My Boss" by Johnny Stewart. Lyrics [Verse 1] Another long week at the office Doing hard work for little pay In a world with too many bosses That need to be punched in the face [Chorus] After I punch the clock I'm gonna go punch my boss Have myself an early lunch Then take the rest of the day off [Verse 2] Don't say I have a case of the Mondays You're likely to get your a** kicked I came in on a Sunday To fix the printer with my fist [Bridge] The stupid memos just won't stop The new guy took my parking spot Ask me to make one more coffee pot And someone's gonna get shot [Verse 3] I'm climbing the corporate ladder Working my way up to the top And when I finally get there I'm gonna punch my bosses' boss [Outro] Thank God its Friday Oh yeah

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #swing #jazz #40smusic Ayyy, sorry I'm a little bit late posting this song over here. Yo! You're gonna love this one, it's all about being Italian. Mamma mia! This was sung by an Italian named Hudson Hawks. Hope you enjoy! Lyrics I'm running numbers I give the commands I'll insult your mother I talk with my hands I'm a made man stand clear Hey! I'm walking here Matching tracksuit outfit Hey! Forget about it I talk really loud Don't tell me keep it down You think I'm funny Do I look like a clown? I'm watching Scorsese Bada bing baby The pizza is ready Don't miss moms spaghetti Hey you jabroni Where's my cannoli I'll be in the pool Buy more gabagool

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #bardcore #tavernwave #neomedievalmusic Hark, fair ladies and gentlefolk, gather ye near and hear a song from yesteryear. I present ye a ballad written and performed by Sir Charles Murfee. Lyrics [Verse] I am still whooping All throughout the town Going to let them know I f*ck not around I whoop thine a** Until it speaks to me Smite thine a** Like tis thirteen hundred B.C. No I am not playing I am here to whoop a** Whoop thine a** No time for Punch and Judy I am the one who brings thee pain in the night I will whoop thine a** until the morning light [Verse 2] Already told thee I do not play I will beat thine a** every single day I whoop thine a** Up and down the way Smite thine a** Until the frogs turn gay

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk #ufc #mma The Line Steppers step out on their own with this 70's funk version of "I'm STILL Whooping That A**". This single was recorded for "The Warriors" movie soundtrack but was never released. The song was intended for an underground cage match fight scene that was cut from the movie. The scene featured all eight members of The Line Steppers playing themselves as a funk band fighting in an eight on eight cage mage. One member in an interview years later claimed that the scene was cut from the movie because The Line Steppers beat up too many movie extras, and at one point "accidentally" punching director Walter Hill in the face. Lyrics [Verse] I'm still whooping All throughout the town Gonna let them know I don't f*ck around I whoop that a** Until its all sh*tty Spank that a** Like you owe me three fitty No I ain't playing I'm here to whoop a** Whoop that a** No time for lunch break I'm the one who brings you pain in the night I'll whoop that a** till the morning light [Verse 2] Already told you I do not play I'll beat that a** every single day I whoop that a** Up and down the block Spank that a** Til they call the cops

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #funk #soulmusic #60ssoul #motown Extremely rare funk single by James Tan and The J.T.'s. James wrote this song about his experience as one of the only successful Tuskegee experiment test subjects. At that time they had been testing an early form of Viagra on James which caused him to suffer a recurring side affect that he called "erection blackouts". During one of these blackouts that lasted an alleged "three minutes and fitty seconds" James claims to have died and become a ghost for an entire day. Lyrics [Verse 1] Things are nice in the after life Everything looks so clear and bright We all become ghosts after we die Every ghost is the same color white [Chorus 1] Everyone I meet is so polite I really f*cking love being white I don't care if you call me r*cist Being white is the f*cking greatest [Verse 2] I was expecting some redneck sh*t I thought all whites were suprem*cists But all I see is white excellence You should never feel white guilt for it [Chorus 2] Everyone I meet is so polite I really f*cking love being white I don't care if you call me r*cist Being white is the f*cking greatest [Bridge] There's no more crime and no more fights I like it here in the after life But if I ever get sent back I pray I don't come back black (Awe sh*t!) [Verse 3] We are all sisters and brothers But ghosts only come in one color Now that I'm white I have to admit Being white is the f*cking sh*t (WOO!) [Chorus 3] Everyone I meet is so polite I really f*cking love being white I don't care if you call me r*cist Being white is the f*cking greatest [End Outro] Oh f*ck yeah

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #rock #80svideogames #remix Remix of the cable TV commercial jingle from the never released video-game "Double Dare You 2" for the Gamecast console.

#obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #hardarchive #funk #80svinyl #80sfunk #mcu #halloweenmusic This funk single by Stan Lee Hooker is said to be based on real events Stan witnessed during one Halloween with fellow singer and musician Cornelius "Backhand" Jackson. Lyrics [Verse 1] It was around the time of Halloween When Super Hand saw sh*t he's never seen He watched a b*tch climb out of a coffin She was talking backwards instead of back talking He noticed the b*tch's neck was bleeding Then she started crawling on the ceiling After he was slapped by a floating spatula He knew his b*tch got bit by Blackula Super Hand axed where to find the guy No ones allowed to bite the merchandise They say that castle is where Blackula sleeps Just follow the sound of the smoke alarm beeps [Chorus 1] (Oh f*ck yeah) The pimp named Super Hand He was one bad a** mother f*cker (Oh sh*t yeah) The pimp named Super Hand That brother was a vampire hunter [Verse 2] Super Hand went to Blackula's house He yelled better bring your b*tch a** out You got one of my b*tches knocked up She's expecting a bat boy in nine months Come out that casket and get your a** kicked Just then Blackula came out the bathroom He held up a job application like a cross It stunned them both but quickly wore off Super Hand smashed the roof to burn him with light But he was too black to burn like Wesley Snipes Then his hand got bit by Blackula But Super Hand laughed and said call me Smackula [Chorus 2] (Oh f*ck yeah) The pimp named Super Hand He was one bad a** mother f*cker (Oh sh*t yeah) The pimp named Super Hand That brother was a vampire hunter [Chorus 3] (Oh f*ck yeah) The pimp named Super Hand Better run you evil blood suckers (Oh sh*t yeah) The pimp named Super Hand That brother was a vampire hunter [Outro End] Oh f*ck sh*t b*tch, mother f*cker yeah

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #hardarchive #90srock #symphonicrock #halloweenmusic Theme song from the never released 1994 animated film "The Nightmare Before Pimpmas". Lyrics [Verse 1] All you do is trick trick trick But you're never treating (can you hear me!) Get your ass back in the streets And trick me some treats [Turnaround] Don't test me witch (Don't test me witch) [Verse 2] My pimp hand is strong And my patience is thin (so thin) Quit all your witchen, Get back in the kitchen (I'm hungry) [Turnaround] Don't test me witch (Don't test me witch) [Chorus] Do not test me witch I will use my fist I will smack your lip I will bust your sh*t [Bridge] Talk back one more time (just one more time) And this will be the scene of a crime [Turnaround] Try me witch, I dare you (Double dare you witch) [Verse 3] My pimp hand is strong And my patience is thin (so thin) Quit all your witchen Get back in the kitchen (I'm hungry) [Turnaround] Don't test me witch (Don't test me witch) [Chorus] Do not test me witch I will use my fist I will smack your lip I will bust your sh*t [End] Try me witch, I dare you (Double dare you witch)

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #60svinyl #60ssoul #randb Extremely rare 1967 R&B soul demo version of "B*tch Slap" by soul singer Reginald "Right Hook" Jackson, the first cousin of Cornelius "Backhand" Jackson. This demo was recorded two years before Mike Turner's release in 1969. At the time Reginald had been receiving complaints about singing too many songs about slapping women, to which he commented on saying 'quote' "They just proving that it's impossible to sing ENOUGH songs about slapping b*tches." Reginald, who was considered a sex symbol at the time, dismissed the numerous claims that he had slapped over one hundred b*tches off of the stage during his high energy live performances in the summer of 1967. Lyrics [Verse 1] Asking for dinner ain't asking for much You had one job and still f*cked it up Sometimes you gotta learn respect I use my pimp hand to correct [Chorus] Its called a b*tch slap (b*tch slap!) Come get your face clapped (face clapped!) Come get your lip smacked (smack smack!) You need a b*tch slap (oh oh yeah!) [Verse 2] I make money but you spend it all Don't make me leave to get some menthols I won't wait to ditch you b*tch Before I go just one more hit [Chorus] Its called a b*tch slap (b*tch slap!) Come get your face clapped (face clapped!) Come get your lip smacked (smack smack!) You need a b*tch slap (oh oh yeah!) [Verse 3] Asking for dinner ain't asking for much You had one job and still f*cked it up Sometimes you gotta learn respect I use my pimp hand to correct [Chorus] Its called a b*tch slap (b*tch slap!) Come get your face clapped (face clapped!) Come get your lip smacked (smack smack!) You need a b*tch slap (oh oh yeah!)

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #gypsyjazzguitar #gypsyjazz #jazz Rare hi-fi mono recording of popular 1930's "Backhand Swing" Gypsy-Jazz single by Ringo "Ring Finger" Whitemin. Ringo wrote this song about living the good life before the imminent wave of feminism would destroy the world he loved. Lyrics [Verse 1] This is the life This is good living (can you hit me?) I can b*tch slap my wife If she doesn't listen [Turnaround] I'll slap a b*tch (He'll slap a b*tch) [Verse 2] This is the life Every fight I'm winning (you win) She can't make decisions Without my permission [Turnaround] I'll slap a b*tch (He'll slap a b*tch) [Chorus] I'm feeling good, this is the life I'm living in the best of times I'm feeling good, I'm feeling right I'm slapping a b*tch tonight Oh f*ck yeah [Bridge] Quit all your b*tchen (all my b*tchen) Or they'll have to send me to prison [Verse 3] Women shouldn't drive Women can't fly a plane (no no) I hope things stay the same But if things ever change [Turnaround] I'll slap a b*tch (He'll slap a b*tch) [Chorus] I'm feeling good, this is the life I'm living in the best of times I'm feeling good, I'm feeling right I'm slapping a b*tch tonight Oh f*ck yeah [Outro End] I'm slapping a b*tch tonight

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #soul #motown #60ssoul #diddy Extremely rare never released D side of "I Whoop That A**". This may be the most bizarre and unexplained record I've found yet, which can only be described as a prophetic time travelling diss track aimed at P D*ddy? The liner notes say this never released version was recorded on November 4th 1969, the exact same day Sean "Diddy" Combs was born. Lyrics [Verse] I'm still groomin' All throughout the town Gonna let them know I will f*ck around I f*ck that a** Until its all sh*tty Spank that a** Like my name was P Diddy No I ain't playing I'm here to f*ck a** F*ck that a** No time for lunch break I'm the one who brings you pain in the night I'll f*ck that a** till the morning light [Verse 2] Already told you I am very g*y I'll f*ck that a** every single day I f*ck that a** With my giant c*ck Spank that a** Til they call the cops

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #funk #soul #hardarchive #70sfunk #70svinyl Here is the 'clap back' cover version of Wes Lee Willis's single "You Ain't Sh*t" performed by his ex-girlfriend soul singer Cleopatra Brown. After hearing her ex-boyfriend's song "You Ain't Sh*t" she immediately assumed the song was specifically all about her. This cover version is her response to him. Lyrics [Verse] You know I don't f*ck around (ooh yeah yeah mother f*cker) I will beat your a** down (beat your b*tch a** down, f*ck yeah) [Pre Chorus] You're pushing you're f*ckin' luck Keep talkin' I will f*ck you up [Chorus] You ain't sh*t (you ain't sh*t) Oh no no you ain't sh*t (you ain't sh*t b*tch) You ain't sh*t (you ain't sh*t) Oh no no you ain't sh*t (you ain't sh*t b*tch) [End] F*ck yeah

#obscurevinyl #obscurerecords #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #classicvinyl #funk #soul #hardarchive #70sfunk #70svinyl Rare 70's funk single by soul singer Wes Lee Willis. Many considered Wes as the first "pimp's rights activist" and one of the originators of modern American pimp culture. He was especially known for inventing new slang and coining phrases such as "pimp-pilled" and "pimposphere". He recorded this song towards the end of his music career before he retired due to a rare form of schizophrenia which Wes called "b*tchophrenia", where Wes claimed to hear the voices of b*tches from his past talkin' sh*t. Wes would experience occasional hallucinations which caused him to kung fu fight imaginary b*tches. Lyrics [Verse] You know I don't f*ck around (ooh yeah yeah mother f*cker) I will beat your a** down (beat your b*tch a** down, f*ck yeah) [Pre Chorus] You're pushing you're f*ckin' luck Keep talkin' I will f*ck you up [Chorus] You ain't sh*t (you ain't sh*t) Oh no no you ain't sh*t (you ain't sh*t b*tch) You ain't sh*t (you ain't sh*t) Oh no no you ain't sh*t (you ain't sh*t b*tch) [End] F*ck yeah

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #soulmusic #60ssoul #motown Rare mono 60's soul version of Catman Scrothers obscure single "Don't Eat My Pu**y" performed by 'Bertha Kitt and The Kittens'. Lyrics [Verse 1] I know you are hungry (you're hungry) I can make you a snack (have a snack) You're new to this country (yeah yeah yeah) But please don't eat my cat (eat my cat) [Chorus 1] Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not made to be chewed (no no no no) Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not meant to be food (don't eat my cat) [Verse 2] You can eat my taco (oh oh yeah) But you can't eat my kitty (no please don't) Only in Ohio (yeah yeah yeah) Sh*t gets f*cking gritty (don't you know) [Chorus 2] Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not made to be chewed (no no no no) Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not meant to be food (don't eat my cat) [Bridge] Just because (just because) Just because my pu**y might taste sweet That don't mean (that don't mean) That don't mean it's something you should eat (Oh hell no!) [Guitar solo] [Verse 3] You can eat my steamed clam (oh oh yeah) You can eat some fried chicken (sounds good) But whatever you do (yeah yeah yeah yeah) Don't you eat my kitten (oh hell no) [Chorus 3] Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not made to be chewed (no no no no) Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not meant to be food (don't eat my cat) [Outro End] Here kitty kitty kitty

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #rock #80svinyl #80srock Rare never released 80's rock pop single performed by Thomas Jones from the never released feature film "ALF". Lyrics [Verse 1] I know you are hungry (you're hungry) I can make you a snack (have a snack) You're new to this country (yeah yeah yeah) But please don't eat my cat (eat my cat) [Chorus 1] Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not made to be chewed (no no no no) Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not meant to be food (don't eat my cat) [Verse 2] You can eat my taco (oh oh yeah) But you can't eat my kitty (no please don't) Only in Ohio (yeah yeah yeah) Sh*t gets f*cking gritty (don't you know) [Chorus 2] Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not made to be chewed (no no no no) Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not meant to be food (don't eat my cat) [Bridge] Just because (just because) Just because my pu**y might taste sweet That don't mean (that don't mean) That don't mean it's something you should eat (Oh hell no!) [Guitar solo] [Verse 3] You can eat my steamed clam (oh oh yeah) You can eat some fried chicken (sounds good) But whatever you do (yeah yeah yeah yeah) Don't you eat my kitten (oh hell no) [Chorus 3] Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not made to be chewed (no no no no) Don't eat my pu**y (don't eat my pu**y) It's not meant to be food (don't eat my cat) [Outro End] Here kitty kitty kitty

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #filmmusic #90s #90scartoons Extremely rare recording of one song that was cut from the 1991 animated movie smash hit "Beauty and the Beast". It's said that this song was cut for fear of bringing too much attention to the rumor that the original title of the film was "Beauty and the Bestiality". Lyrics [Verse 1] She's asking for a blasting She's salting for an assaulting She's screaming for a reaming She's clanging for a banging [Verse 2] She's hounding for a pounding She's ilkin for a milking She's jumping for a humping She's hobbin' for a knobin' [Chorus] She's houndin' for a poundin' She's houndin' for a poundin' She's houndin' for a poundin' Oh f*ck yeah yeah oh f*ck yeah [Verse 3] She's aching for a spanking She's wailing for a railing She's sounding for a clowning She's houndin' for a poundin' [Verse 4] She's steaming for a creaming She's hoping for a poking She's dripping for a ripping She's hurtin' for a squirtin' [Chorus] She's houndin' for a poundin' She's houndin' for a poundin' She's houndin' for a poundin' Oh f*ck yeah yeah oh f*ck yeah [Outro End] Come get some b*tch Awe yeah

#obscurerecords #obscureviny #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #hardarchive #swingmusic #50s #christmasmusic #fullalbum Hard Archive proudly presents this extremely rare copy of Frank Chairman's Christmas Special album from 1957. Track list 0:01 It's Beginning to Look a lot Like B*tchmas 2:38 Seven Days of Pimpmas 5:18 Jingle Balls 8:16 Eight Maids a Milking 10:30 Dreaming of a Whites Only Christmas 14:07 Deck The Balls

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #80svinyl #80sfunk This pop funk single by "Richard Magic and The Raiders" was released less than a year after the strange outbreak of a new form of pool A*DS had spread through stingrays to the local beaches causing them all to be shut down. The disease was causing the infected wildlife to display bizarre, aggressive, and horny behavior towards humans. Lyrics [Verse 1] These damn stingrays are getting funky Some say the rays had s*x with monkeys They're stabbing people with their stingers They're taking out their hate on swimmers These stingrays are f*cking aggressive They're making sure we get the message Better be careful if you're surfing You don't want to pull a Steve Irwin [Chorus 1] The beach is closed (beach is closed) The beach is closed today The beach is closed (beach is closed) Beach closed due to stingrays The beach is closed (beach is closed) The beach is closed today The beach is closed (beach is closed) The stingrays all have a*ds [Verse 2] The stingrays numbers keep on growing Now all the best beaches are closing Been a week since the beach was open They're gonna close down the whole ocean Everyone is getting infected Stingrays strike when you least expect it On the beach you can never relax Stingrays are also known to smoke cr*ck [Chorus 2] The beach is closed (beach is closed) The beach is closed today The beach is closed (beach is closed) Beach closed due to stingrays The beach is closed (beach is closed) The beach is closed today The beach is closed (beach is closed) The stingrays all have a*ds (Woo!) [Keytar Solo] [Verse 3] The aids are causing strange behavior These stingrays have no fear of danger They've gotten completely out of control They're stinging people in the a**hole They don't care if you're already g*y They killed a life guard the other day Before you swim I'll give fair warning The stingrays have aids and they're horny [Chorus 3] The beach is closed (beach is closed) The beach is closed today The beach is closed (beach is closed) Beach closed due to stingrays The beach is closed (beach is closed) The beach is closed today The beach is closed (beach is closed) The stingrays all have a*ds (f*ck yeah) [Outro] You don't wanna get a*ds, b*tch! Woo! F*ck yeah!

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #randb #90svinyl #90srock #90s Theme song performed and recorded by Mahoney and Nordberg from the never released 1994 film "Buddy Cop Movie". Lyrics [Verse 1] I'm showing these rookies how it's done Shooting punks is what I do for fun This is how I like to get my thrills Try me b*tch and I will shoot to kill Everyday I'm a f*cking hero Blasting scum bags for less than zero Every where I go it smells like bacon Gimme that money I'm on the take, b*tch! I'm closing cases by shooting faces Going on dangerous high speed chases I'm busting heads with excessive force I'm gonna need to commandeer your horse [Chorus 1] I shoot first and ask questions never This is the f*cking best job ever Busting your a** is my sworn duty Living life like I'm in a buddy cop movie [Verse 2] You're under arrest, stop resisting This b*tch is asking for a frisking Before I let you back on the road I'm gonna show you my penal code I'm serving justice to the people Try me punk, my weapon is lethal I never seem to need to reload Everything I shoot always explodes The question is do you feel lucky I will blast you for less than nothing If you're dumb enough to come at me I'll show you police brutality [Chorus 2] I shoot first and ask questions never This is the f*cking best job ever Busting your a** is my sworn duty Living life like I'm in a buddy cop movie Move it along, nothing to see here! Just doing my job ma'am

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk You rucky big winna number one! You found super rare vinyl record "Coor Sungrasses" hard to see when driving at night giant b*tch. She bang, she groove, all night long baby hotdogs. We scare you with supplies dance party so big you never come back. Full price make your pants soft, washy shirty, love you longest time magazine. Turn it up all day right f*ck now! P Diddy mau! You f*ck now! Lyrics [Verse 1] You know it get hot take your shoes off (soy sauce) I'll be super man you dirty b*tch (try me) Boom it's a homerun hot dog game win (f*ck yes!) Don't stop I will f*ck your face big time (Shang high) [Chorus] B*tch you know I wear coor sungrasses (Ooh b*tch) I see you at night oh f*ck yeah (f*ck yes) They hide emotion nor damage (dirty f*ck) I need to wear coor sungrasses (sh*t yeah) [Verse 2] You get hot b*tch you get so hot now (f*ck now!) There is nothing that I can't tell you (big sh*t) A secret place inside your a** hole (Woo! yes) We f*ck so big you never come back (f*ck you) [Chorus 2] I need to wear some coor sungrasses (Ooh b*tch) I f*ck you at night oh f*ck yeah (f*ck yes) We gonna bang right f*ck now oh yes (dirty b*tch) I need to wear coor sungrasses (f*ck yeah) [Bridge] Sum ting wong I'm gonna come so soon (oh! ohhh!) Hurry up and run no diddy mau Oh! (diddy!) Your chest is sticky I want those t*ts (big t*ts!) My d*ck will explode in your hands (oh sh*t) [Verse 3] My hot a** give your fortune cookie (ooh b*tch) You big winna big d*ck ho ree f*ck (sh*t yeah) Dumb b*tch order the kung-fu chicken (dumb b*tch!) Yes I show you how to wok your dog (eat dog) [Chorus 3] I need to wear some coor sungrasses (sh*t b*tch) Your face can f*ck all night ooh yeah yeah (fried rice!) Sticky b*tch extra sweaty a** hole (sweet t*ts!) I need to wear some coor sungrasses (f*ck yeah!) [Chorus 4] I need to wear some coor sungrasses (f*ck yeah) I need to wear some coor sungrasses (f*ck yes) Oh f*ck yes b*tch yeah I rike that sh*t (yes b*tch) You wax my d*ck off with t*ts so big (so big!)

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #randb #90svinyl #randbmusic #90s Introducing a new app that can tell you who is black with just one click. This app is already being used successfully everyday by over 100 law enforcement agencies. Download the new Crypto Black App now!!! Lyrics [Verse 1] I'm trying to find a black owned business Wanna do my part to help make a difference This app shows me how black your skin is Please hold still so i can scan your image [Chorus] I'm trying to tell who is black (who's black) It would be too rude to just ask (are you black?) You gotta get this cool new app, It tells me if you are black (It tells me who is black) [Verse 2] After Obama, Kamala, and Shaun King I can't tell who is really African Grab your phone and download this cool new app It can tell you who is and isn't black [Chorus] I'm trying to tell who is black (who's black) It would be too rude to just ask (are you black?) You gotta get this cool new app, It tells me if you are black (It says that you are black) Awe sh*t! [Bridge] I heard they made a whites only version But it was too powerful for dispersion I took a pic of my d*ck with the app The test says I'm one hundred percent black (oh yeah) [Verse 3] Drake and Andrew Tate got really light skin I still can't tell who is African Download this cool new app and snap a pic It does brown paper bag tests with one click [Chorus] I'm trying to tell who is black (who's black) It would be too rude to just ask (are you black?) You gotta get this cool new app, It tells me if you are black (It tells me who is black) [Chorus] I'm trying to tell who is black (who's black) It would be too rude to just ask (are you black?) You gotta get this cool new app, It tells me if you are black (It says that you are black) Awe shit! [Outro End] Are you white or black? (Let me check the app) Are you white or black? (Check the new black app) Hold still while it scans to see if you're black

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #80svinyl #80sfunk #cassette Rare 80s cassingle funk pop version of "Drive Like Sh*t" by Nick Ross and The Patriots. Lyrics [Verse 1] Baby! You drive like sh*t Did you see that car that you almost hit I'd rather take the bus instead Riding with you I'm gonna end up dead [Turnaround] Don't ask me if I need a lift Baby you drive like sh*t [Verse 2] She just ran through a four way stop I ain't trying to get stopped by the cops Baby! Why the hell did I let you drive Its a miracle that you're still alive [Turnaround] Don't ask me if I need a lift Baby you drive like sh*t [Chorus] Woah woah woah woah Look out! My girl is driving Watch out! My girl drives like sh*t Woah woah woah woah Look out! My girl is driving Watch out! My girl drives like sh*t [Bridge] Girl! you're such a sh*tty driver How the funk you get your license She says she never crashed before Except one time she got hit by a parked car

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #opera #60s Extremely rare 60s opera recording by Enrico Pallazzo. This rare vinyl has all six parts of "Bone Zone" from the opera Bone Zone. 0:01 Act 1 0:45 Act 2 1:44 Act 3 2:35 Act 4 3:04 Act 5 3:43 Act 6

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #futurebass #futurebassmusic #bassmusic Rare cover version of "Dance B*tch" by future crimes robot prison gaurd DJ Mr. Wigglesworth 17 Pro Max. This MP3.5 file was sent to my inbox along with several digital print sports almanacs from 2028. The email said this song made a huge comeback after the 2024 Summer Olympics disaster which led to break-dancing being outlawed in over 100 countries throughout the world. After all the break-dancers were rounded up and put in camps / prisons where they could no longer hurt anyone with their embarrassing dance moves, Mr. Wigglesworth remixed this classic 70s funk hit to play during his prison guard DJ sets. Lyrics You don't like my style You don't like my taste I will put my fist In your f*cking face Shut the f*ck up b*tch Listen to the bass Got that funky sh*t Make you run in place Better dance f*cker Do the robot bitch Feel the f*cking bass Feel my f*cking fist Dance b*tch (dance!) dance Dance you stupid b*tch (dance!) Dance b*tch (yeah!) dance Like an idiot Dance b*tch (dance!) dance Dance you stupid b*tch (dance!) Dance b*tch (yeah!) dance Like an idiot You don't like my style You don't like my taste I will stick my d*ck In your f*cking face Shut the f*ck up b*tch I'm the ace of bass Got that funky sh*t Make you up the pace Better dance f*cker Do the robot b*tch Feel the f*cking bass Feel my f*cking fist Go go go go B*tch go full r*tard Go go go go She went full r*tard Dance you stupid b*tch Dance

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk Rare funk single by Charles Washington about encouraging women to join the emerging break-dance scene in the early 1970s. Lyrics You don't like my style You don't like my taste I will put my fist In your f*cking face Shut the f*ck up b*tch Listen to the bass Got that funky sh*t Make you run in place Better dance f*cker Do the robot bitch Feel the f*cking bass Feel my f*cking fist Dance b*tch (dance!) dance Dance you stupid b*tch (dance!) Dance b*tch (yeah!) dance Like an idiot Dance b*tch (dance!) dance Dance you stupid b*tch (dance!) Dance b*tch (yeah!) dance Like an idiot You don't like my style You don't like my taste I will stick my d*ck In your f*cking face Shut the f*ck up b*tch I'm the ace of bass Got that funky sh*t Make you up the pace Better dance f*cker Do the robot b*tch Feel the f*cking bass Feel my f*cking fist Go go go go B*tch go full r*tard Go go go go She went full r*tard Dance you stupid b*tch Dance

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk Obscure funk single by 'Die Or Straights'. It's alleged this song was written by lead singer and aspiring local politician 'Mr. Tea' after he learned what would be required of him if he wanted to win a seat in congress. Lyrics [Verse] But but but but Butt humper Crack crack crack crack Crack stuffer A** a** a** a** A** crusher But but but but Butt f*cker [Chorus] But but but but Butt f*cker (butt f*cker!) But but but but Butt f*cker (butt f*cker!) But but but but Butt f*cker (butt f*cker!) Butt f*cker, butt f*cker [Verse 2] Man man man man Man lover Gay gay gay gay Gay clubber Dum dum dum dum Dump pumper D*ck d*ck d*ck d*ck D*ck sucker [Chorus] But but but but Butt f*cker (butt f*cker!) But but but but Butt f*cker (butt f*cker!) But but but but Butt f*cker (butt f*cker!) Butt f*cker, butt f*cker (Oh butt f*ck yeah!) [Bridge] Can't stop the f*cker of the butt Your dumper can and will get pumped Bend over and open up cause Your a**hole is about to get f*cked [Verse 3] But but but but Butt crusher A** a** a** a** A** lover But but but but Butt f*cker Butt f*cker, butt f*cker [Chorus] But but but but Butt f*cker (butt f*cker!) But but but but Butt f*cker (butt f*cker!) But but but but Butt f*cker (butt f*cker!) Butt f*cker, butt f*cker Butt f*cker, butt f*cker [Outro End] Sponsored by Preparation H You dirty butt f*cker

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk This rare funk rock single by 'Orange' Julius Erving was released in the same year the Kool-Aid Man wall smashing ad campaign began. Kool-Aid Man is typically featured answering the call of children by smashing through walls or furnishings and then holding a pitcher filled with Kool-Aid while saying his catchphrase, "Oh, yeah!". Many people claim that the idea for the ads came about randomly or by accident, but Julius has a different story. Julius claims that the idea for Kool-Aid Man busting through walls to give thirsty kids Kool-Aid is actually based on true accounts of his drug addicted neighbor 'Lit' Larry, aka LL Kool-Aid. During the early 1970s PCP became available as a white powder which could be ingested by mouth or smoked. Larry use to get high on PCP and run through the neighborhood (and even brick walls, claims Julius) screaming while giving kids free Kool-Aid and also pouring it on their heads. [Verse] He is tripping balls (oh yeah!) Bustin' through the wall (oh yeah!) He's here to give you the best drink of them all [Chorus] Come drink the cool-aid kids He'll come to where you live Breaking and entering To give you cool-aids b*tch [Verse 2] Through the bricks he bursts (oh yeah!) To quench your b*tch a** thirst (oh yeah!) He's high as f*ck on angel dust so nothing hurts (WOO!) [Chorus] Come drink the cool-aid kids He'll come to where you live Breaking and entering To give you cool-aids b*tch Oh f*ck yeah! [Bridge] Dodgin' cops and hoppin' fences (oh yeah!) Pouring cool-aid on kids heads is (oh f*ck yeah!) Cops on his trail but he's quick on his feet Cool Aid Man is on P C P [Verse 3] Cool Aid Man is on the loose (oh yeah!) He's got a mean sweet tooth (oh yeah!) Breaking and entering he's mentoring the youth [Chorus] Come drink the cool-aid kids He'll come to where you live Breaking and entering To give you cool-aids b*tch [Outro End] Drink the cool-aid kids and say no to drugs

Step into the swinging '50s with "Big Balls" — not your average big band swing vinyl! Sung by a sassy female vocalist who's got more attitude than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, this record will have you tapping your toes and clutching your pearls at the same time. With brass that'll blow your mind and lyrics that'll make you blush, it's a wild ride through the golden age of swing. So grab your dancing shoes and get ready to jive to the beat of "Big Balls" — because this record isn't just swinging, it's swinging low! #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl

This boldly worded swing track is alleged to be the last open threat Jimmy 'Smacks' Crackson made to a pack of dogs before they eventually chased him down. He was known for taunting the local town dogs with his snacks and newspapers, up until the point where the lead dog named 'Smuckers' formed a dog mob and they bit the living sh*t out of him, giving him rabies which eventually killed him.

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl This obscure single is by soul singer and part-time high-school football coach Buddy Kilmer. In this song Buddy expresses his thoughts about coaching football and his frustrations with trying to teach extremely talented athletes to stop doing stupid dangerous sh*t. Lyrics [Verse 1] Oh why are you playing with fire Boy you know you ain't thinking right When your hands are worth ten times more Than I will make in my whole life Those rockets are not very safe If that fuse is not very long You should play with sparklers and snakes Or your fingers are gonna be gone [Chorus 1] It is a strange phenomenon Football players playing with bombs How are you gonna catch a ball When half of your fingers are gone [Verse 2] Shouldn't play with firecrackers Unless you are a line backer Please be careful with your handles Playing with those Roman candles Looks like my team will lose this year That's the end of another career He lit the fuse and kept holding on Now half of his fingers are gone [Chorus 2] It is a strange phenomenon Football players playing with bombs How are you gonna catch a ball You blew your f*cking fingers off [Bridge] You were suppose to go wide receive But you blew your hand off instead Must be from all the C.T.E. Hit too many times in the head (Ow!) [Verse 3] He was no genius to begin with But that is some really dumb sh*t With fireworks all you need to know After it's lit you let it go Too many pros forget to throw Hands move fast but their brains move slow Boom his middle finger is gone Now he can't even flip people off (Oh no!) [Outro End] Wear your helmet all the time Wear your helmet, you really need a f*cking helmet Ooh yeah

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #jazz #80sjazz Rare 80s jazz cover of Sister Mable's hit single done by jazz singer and saxophonist Billi Von Shtupp. During live performances of this song Billi was known for going into the audience and slapping men at random. Billi never got into legal trouble for assaulting audience members, but she did eventually quit performing her slapping routine after it became too popular and began attracting every perverted masochist in town to attend her shows in hopes of getting slapped. Lyrics [Verse 1] You believe everything you're told Buy everything that you're sold They can do their stupid tricks But I ain't falling for that sh*t [Chorus] You're one dumb mother f*cker Ooh yeah stupid mother f*cker [Verse 2] Can't take hearing any more Already heard this sh*t before They can do their stupid tricks But I ain't falling for that sh*t [Bridge] Think you're smart like a computer You sound like you're really dumb If you get any stupider You're gonna need a shorter bus [Verse 3] You believe everything you're told Buy everything that you're sold You can keep your slick sales pitch I ain't buying any of your sh*t

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Slims Virginia was a jazz singer and pianist in the 1930s best known for this hit single "Bad Habit". Tobacco was being rationed at the time, and as a avid smoker Slim wrote this tune to mock the new anti tobacco propaganda campaign which began to use the slogan "bad habit" to socially shame smokers. Slim was also known for carrying a custom pistol which fired cigarettes instead of bullets, which he used to shoot cigarettes into peoples mouths as he walked down the street. Terrifying and refreshing at the same time. Sit back, light up and enjoy the robust yet smooth flavor of this jazz single that says "smoke em if you got em".

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl This country western single by 'John Smith and The Lamanites' was a smash hit in Utah. John wrote this song for all five of his wives. The cleverly written lyrics allowed John to get his message across without cussing in front of their thirty seven children. Lyrics I don't f * c k around I got a b * t c h slap for your a * s F * c k yeah!

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #futurebass #bass This rare future-bass track by "RapBot Model T420" and "Stan The Automatron" was mined from a reverse time capsule found inside a dead spice-worm. Info inside the capsule says the song was inspired by the election of 2036 when "BushBot 3.6" ran against "iClinton 27 ProMax". Lyrics [Verse 1] There is nothing left that they can say We've gone far past the point of debate There is no voting in the future The president is a computer If you want to be a senator First you have to fight the Predator Got term limits down to the mayor Enforce them with the Terminator [Chorus 1] In the year of twenty thirty six There is a new kind of politics Robot presidents fight to the death Until there's only one robot left [Verse 2] If you want to hold public office You're gonna need some lazer optics Win the death match in the stadium If you can kill all these aliens All the boomers that refuse to die Uploaded to the net in the sky Now we live with robot tyranny They still want social security [Chorus 2] In the year of twenty thirty six There is a new kind of politics This is the future apocalypse When robots fight to be president [Verse 3] Robots fight all of the wars today Our job is just to build and maintain Their mission is to kill all humans Lazer blasts that smoke aluminum All sides owned by a foreign nation Both visited Epste*n's space station Inflation's extreme we need beef supreme Monday night rehabilitation [Chorus 3] In the year of twenty thirty six All your base are belong to us b*tch Until we find the fifth element Robots fight to be the president [Outro End] In the year of twenty thirty six All your base are belong to us b*tch

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl "Tiny" Joe Rogan was a very famous radio broadcaster who is now mostly forgotten. Many historians consider Tiny Joe to be the first modern example of what is known as a "clout chaser". Joe made his start in entertainment as an actor and comedian taking small roles and making short appearances in popular shows. Joe was never considered a star on his own, and he soon learned that his own talent could only take him so far in his quest for fame and fortune. He knew he was mediocre at best, but if he got the most famous people in the world as guests to interview, Joe could then become rich and famous by proxy via interviewing people that are actually talented and interesting. This obscure B side by 'Owen and The Benjamins' was recorded towards the end of Tiny Joe's career. The song pokes fun at what was little known fact at the time; Joe Rogan is really short. Like really freaking short. Lyrics [Verse 1] Joe Rogan's on the mic He's taller in our dreams But when you meet him in real life He's not as tall as he seems [Verse 2] Sitting in his booster chair Talking stuff all day Got the biggest show around Too small to find him in a crowd [Chorus 1] Short Joe Rogan Really really short Tiny Joe Rogan Really freaking short Short Joe Rogan Laughing at his height Tiny Joe Rogan He's our little guy [Bridge] Life can be so hard sometimes (sometimes) When you're too short to ride the rides (too short) Tall enough to ride the tea cups (tea cups) Still need Jamie to help pull you up (yeah) [Chorus 2] Short Joe Rogan Really really short Tiny Joe Rogan He likes the blood sports Short Joe Rogan Laughing at his height Tiny Joe Rogan He's our little guy

Rumored to be Otis Redding himself warming up in the studio, this bizarre take somehow ended up on tape. So rip your shirt off and expose your chest for the sweaty slap fight that is "Sweaty Chest Slap". [Lyrics] sweaty butt touch sweaty chest slap sweaty butt grab sweaty chest sweaty chest sweaty chest feel my chest touch my chest touch chest touch butt touch chest

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Self explanatory r&b ballad demo from 1990...

"Take it to My End Zone" is like the soundtrack to a love story written in pigskin. Imagine Romeo and Juliet, but instead of feuding families, they're rival tight ends on the same football team. This vinyl groove is their anthem, telling the tale of two lovers who found love in the midst of blitzes and tackles, touchdown celebrations turning into tender moments in the end zone. With lyrics smoother than a quarterback's spiral pass and a beat funkier than a linebacker's dance moves, this song is a touchdown for the soul. It's the kind of track that makes you want to grab your sweetheart and two-step like you're dodging defenders on the field. So grab your helmet, grab your pom-poms, and get ready to cheer for love like it's the Super Bowl. With "Take It To My End Zone" on repeat, you'll be sure to split the uprights tonight. Lyrics: [Verse 1] You been on the team for a while I seen you give me that smile Watch me run and catch the ball It's gonna be electrical [Chorus 1] Baby take me to the end zone Hold me close like we're all alone Lift me up in the thunder-dome Twirl around and watch me gloat [Verse 2] I'll hike the ball if you touch my rear Maybe we can play smear the queer Now its hard being able to sit Since I got my uprights split [Chorus 2] Baby take it to my end zone Hold me close like we're all alone Lift me up in the thunder-dome Twirl around and watch me gloat [End] Woah woah yeah ooh ooh Set hut set hut hut hut hike Touchdown Yeah

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk Obscure funk single by Robert Plant and Fed Zeppelin. Robert wrote this song about the newly established United States Federal Witness Protection Program in 1971. The program was still new and the official rules of the government program were vague at best. Robert recalls an account of one of his clients making a strange deal with the feds to snitch in exchange for more b*tches. Lyrics [Verse 1] Its easy these days to get paid pimping Making money off all these men simping One got caught by the cops now he's snitching Talking to feds to get some b*tches [Chorus] This crazy world is all upside down Snitches get b*tches (snitches get b*tches) Until the prison lets me out Snitches get b*tches (snitches get b*tches) [Verse 2] Gonna turn me in for a date with Kim Help the feds trace me to get with Stacey You're gonna tell on me for Melanie And get me busted for a felony [Bridge] The feds got b*tches that are perfect tens These hookers will pretend to be your friend They got ass that snitches just can't resist The government are the ultimate pimps [Verse 3] Stabbed me in the back for a piece of ass Gonna turn stooly to get with Julie Or drop a dime for that sweet Caroline Now I'm doing time for sexual crime

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Obscure Latin funk single by 'Senior Discount and The Chiclets'. Band members say this song was about a game they often played growing up in the barrios called "Auto Theft Grande" where the goal of the game was to steal the largest car possible. The game usually ended in a tie as it was the 1970s and every car was the size of a boat (now commonly known as a 'whip ship b*tch'). Lyrics [Verse 1] My game is grand theft You know I play it best Don't need no cheat codes I'm always beast mode [Chorus 1] You can't catch me (woo!) You can't arrest me (no!) I'm jackin cars (yeah!) I got five stars (Oh yeah!) [Verse 2] My auto grand theft Lets do a speed test My car will explode Always play hard mode [Chorus 2] You can't catch me (woo!) You can't arrest me (no!) I'm jackin cars (yeah!) I got five stars (Oh yeah!) [Verse 3] Radio is on I'm gonna re-spawn Don't need to code nine When playing online

Introducing the big band vinyl record from the 1950s, "Huge Piss" This vintage masterpiece isn't just about music—it's a journey through the golden age of jazz with a piss. Get ready to tap your feet and hold your bladder as you groove to the infectious rhythms of this unforgettable record! #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Colonel Cletus and The Rocky Mountain Oysters recorded this country western hit "Squeal Like A Pig" in response to the mass immigration of city slickers from California moving into his rural state. Cletus did not understand the situation, nor could he understand the intricacies of their liberal yuppie bullsh*t they brought with them. What Cletus did understand is how to use his music to help keep the Californians out; with a simple open threat of butt **** at anyone within earshot of my, cough... excuse me, his pickup truck. Needless to say this classic tune has aged like moonshine in oak barrels with a message more relevant today than ever. Lyrics [Verse 1] Son you don't wanna come this way Where you can hear the banjos play My mind is small and my hog is big Can I make you squeal like a pig [Chorus] Take my hog on your chinny chin chin huff and puff and blow my house in My mind is small and my hog is big Can I make you squeal like a pig [Verse 2] Saw you boys going down the river I got me an 'ance to deliver' My mind is small and my hog is big You best go back to where you live [Verse 3] Its best you boys just turn around and go back to your fancy town Or else we're gonna corn that hole Going wee wee wee all the way home [Verse 4] You don't wanna go to jail Where its only male on male My mind is small but I know this much No ones coming to save your butt [End] Yeee Haw! Get em Skeeter! Get that butt!

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Rare white label dub plate from 2017. Lyrics [Verse] In a Waffle House fight Under neon lights Two people goin' at it With all their might They swingin' them fists Breakin' plates and mugs Crazy chaos eruptin' Just like fireworks People watchin' Their faces full of surprise Tryna capture the madness with their smartphone eyes But the manager steps in Says "That's enough!" Time to take this party outside And call the bluff [Verse 2] In the parking lot brawl Things gettin' intense Fists flyin' fast No pretense It's a battle of wills A clash of egos Two strangers-turned-enemies Put on a show

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl In the neon-lit world of '80s dance parties, there's always that one nerd who's a little too enthusiastic on the dance floor. Picture this: you're spinning your favorite vinyl record, the bass thumping, the disco lights flashing, and suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you spot him – the ultimate dance floor disaster. With his thick glasses sliding down his nose and his awkward dance moves that could rival a malfunctioning robot, this nerd is a sight to behold. He's tripping over his own feet, flailing his arms like he's trying to swat away invisible flies, and yet, he's having the time of his life. As the music pulsates through the room, the nerd's enthusiasm knows no bounds. He's lost in a world of his own creation, where he's the king of the dance floor and his awkwardness is just another form of funky self-expression. So next time you're at an '80s dance party and you see that nerd getting down with his bad self, just remember – it's not about how you dance, it's about how much fun you're having. And hey, maybe we could all use a little dose of nerd confidence on the dance floor. #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl

Smooth 70s easy listening r&b that WILL assault you. Lyrics: [Verse 1] Yo I was flying through space, when I had a total recall of three titties in my face, Gonna trap her with my tractor beam, There's no stopping, this ship from docking [Verse 2] I'm from Mars and you're from Venus I wanna fly to Uranus with my penis Outer space is the place to be Where nobody can hear you scream [Chorus] Outer space is the best (the best!) The only place where no (no) always means yes (yes!) Outer space is the best (the best!) The only place where no (no!) always means yes (yes!) [Verse 3] Hey there princess Laya, I really wanna lay ya, It don't care what you say uh, Cuz in outer space, no means yay uh

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Skeeter "Must Skeet" Pete was a soul singer and full time brick layer known for coining the phrase "bricked up" when describing need to skeet after seeing a beautiful woman in a sun dress. This catchy singable tune "Bricked Up" was considered a construction workers cat calling anthem for over a decade. Years later many women came forward claiming "Must Skeet" Pete's hit single had sexually assaulted their eardrums, yet Pete was never charged with any crime. So get up and groove to this timeless classic of fond memories and forced advances. Lyrics [Verse 1] I think of you when I hear this song Wondering about what you got on I thought our love was in the past But I just can't resist that a** [Chorus] You got me bricked up You got my pr*ck up Looking at that big butt You got me bricked up [Verse 2] I love how you respect my hustle I feel involuntary muscles Lets see whats behind that meat curtain Looks like shes hurtin for a squirtin [Chorus] You got me bricked up You got my pr*ck up Looking at that big butt You got me bricked up [Bridge] Looking at you move those hips Gives my pants a tighter fit

"Ah, picture this, cats and kittens: you're out on the floor, all dolled up and ready to cut a rug with your ducky dame, when along comes 'Cock Blocker,' the vinyl villain of the speakeasy scene! With its smooth beats and snappy lyrics, this record's like a slick-talking chaperone, doing its darnedest to keep you from scoring a dance-floor rendezvous. But fear not, my jitterbugging pals, for with a little fancy footwork and a wink of charm, you'll show 'Cock Blocker' who's the real king of swing. So grab your gal and let's give this vinyl V.I.P. a run for its money!" #obscurevinyl

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Chilly "No Chill" Hayes hit single "Shred With Your Head". This was infamously Chilly's favorite song to play to a live audience. Many compared Chilly to Jimi Hendrix with his amazing guitar playing, unique tricks and stunts on stage. Chilly was known for using audience members heads to strum his guitar, and especially using their teeth as a guitar pick during his solos. Chilly and Jimi were similar but also very different in one way; Jimi was all about peace and love, where Chilly was all about f*cking people up. Lyrics I can really shred When I use your head I will rock this place With your stupid face Play this sweet a** riff With your f*ckin lip Now I'm rockin out With your f*ckin mouth Watch me play this lick With your teeth as a pick Riffing to the beat With your f*ckin teeth Watch me use your throat To bend these notes I can really shred With your stupid head F*ck yeah! F*ck you!

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Extremely rare original 1960s funk version of "B*tch Slap" by Mike Turner.

Prepare to have your socks knocked off and your wigs blown away by "Wind Came Out Your Butt (and Blew My Wig Off)"—the rarest gem in the treasure trove of '60s soul vinyl. With funky beats that'll make you shake what your mama gave ya and lyrics that'll leave you gasping for air (literally), this record is not for the faint of heart—or nose. So grab your wigs, hold onto your hats, and get ready for a musical journey that'll blow you away in more ways than one. Lyrics [Verse] Well I was walkin' down the street Feelin' kinda neat When the wind came out your butt and blew my wig off Oh It was a sight to see My hair flyin' in the breeze 'Cause the wind came out your butt and blew my wig off [Verse 2] People started laughin' They couldn't believe their eyes As my wig flew through the sky Oh what a surprise I tried to catch it But it slipped right through my hands 'Cause the wind came out your butt And now it's somewhere in the lands [Chorus] Oh The wind came out your butt and blew my wig off I was walkin' down the street Didn't know what to do Oh The wind came out your butt and blew my wig off But I'll rock this bald head No need for a hairdo

"I'm The Shit" isn't just a soulful anthem; it's a wild ride straight to the fart. Picture this: you're cruising down memory lane with this vintage vinyl, grooving to the smooth soul sounds, when suddenly, the lyrics take an unexpected turn. Forget love on the dance floor; we're talking about love on the hood of a car... or rather, mud.

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #80sfunk Funk cover version of "No Means YES" by Elroy Jackson. Lyrics [Intro] T minus ten nine Eight seven six five Four three and two one We have lift off Oh! [Verse 1] Yo I was flying through space when I had a total recall of three titties in my face Gonna trap her with my tractor beam There's no stopping this ship from docking [Verse 2] I'm from Mars and you're from Venus I wanna fly to Uranus with my penis Outer space is the place to be Where nobody can hear you scream [Chorus] Outer space is the best (the best!) The only place where no (no) always means yes (yes!) Outer space is the best (the best!) The only place where no (no!) always means yes (yes!) [Verse 4] I'm just chillin' in the holodeck Run big booty simulation number six Gonna take you to other planets Where no one can stop these sexual advances [Verse 5] It's a total vacuum in outer space Now I got my crotch air locked to your face In outer space there's no where to escape Red alert cuz I'm about to engage [Bridge] Hey there princess Laya I really wanna lay ya I don't care what you say uh Cuz in outer space no means yay yuh

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #80svinyl #80sfunk "Everything is different, but the same... things are more moderner than before... bigger, and yet smaller... it's computers... ...San Dimas High School football rules!!!" Rare 80s funk single by Ace Letterman and The Starters. Lyrics [Verse 1] Don't know much about history But I will cause you injury Don't know much about a science book But I can throw a mean left hook [Chorus 1] I don't really care what you heard Sometimes you gotta punch a nerd We don't need another expert These scientists need to get hurt [Verse 2] Don't know much about geography But I will kick you in the teeth Don't tell me about algebra Or I will punch you in the jaw [Chorus 2] I don't really care what you heard Sometimes you gotta punch a nerd Think you're smart but you don't know d*ck Scientists need their dumb a** kicked [Bridge] I got your fact check right here Its called my foot in your rear If you don't get your facts straight I will punch you in the face (Yeah!) [Verse 3] He helped me pass all my classes But I don't hand out free passes I'll still hit a kid with glasses I'll kick all your f*cking a**es [Chorus 3] I don't really care what you heard Sometimes you gotta punch a nerd We don't need another expert These scientists need to get hurt [Chorus 4] I don't really care what you heard Sometimes you gotta punch a nerd Think you're smart but you don't know d*ck Scientists need their dumb a** kicked

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl "Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far..." Lyrics [Verse 1] The music business gonna need stitches After I slap these punk ass b*tches Your producer is a f*cking loser Watch this pimp backhand maneuver [Chorus] I must destroy the music industry With cartoon pimps and MP3s Make fun of everyone and their mother Don't test me I'm a bad mother f*cker [Verse 2] Cruisin' for a bruisin' through time and space Slapping CEOs in the f*cking face I'll backhand your band as the music plays B*tch slapping that damn DJ made my day [Bridge] I got a b*tch slap for your dumb a** too Come close to the screen so I can slap you The music industry must be destroyed Making all the CEOs unemployed [Break / Outro] I'll slap that cigar out your f*cking mouth! Don't test me b*tch I don't f*ck around!

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Rare dance single from '90s Dave', nephew of the famous singer Cornelius "Backhand" Jackson. Dave took inspiration from his uncle's smash hit "Don't Test Me B*tch" to produce this early nineties rave party favorite. Dave also loved performing this song live and was known for jumping off stage into the crowd to dance and slap fellow dancers in the face with his giant glow stick. Lyrics Slap to the face, slap to the lip Pimp hand is strong to correct and I don't take sh*t Best do not test me b*tch Jump to the kitchen, jump, jump to the kitchen jump And get me some chicken I got a hand to make you learn respect Clean this mess, b*tch do not test Guys slap a girl, don't wait, make her twirl Let her know this is a man's world When you see this hand better move your butt To the hot stove, show you what's up Pimp hand is strong, come on say yeah Everybody over here, everybody over there My patience is thin and I need some food Get your a** in the kitchen Move, move (Try me b*tch, double dare you) B*tch do not test, me Let the pimp hand take control Let the kitchen move you Cook, Clean Let the pimp hand take control Let the kitchen move you Everybody pimp now

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl Quincy "Quiet Life" Jefferson was a soul funk singer and powerhouse lyricist comparable to James Brown in that he was known for being short, sweet and straight to the point. These brief and blunt lyrics were inspired by Quincy's everyday life struggle for peace and quiet. Lyrics Shut the f*ck up c*nt (yeah yeah yeah)

Step back in time to the groovy '60s with "I Whoop That Ass" — a rare soul vinyl that's more than just music; it's a lyrical journey through the art of assertive love. With beats that could charm the socks off a snake and lyrics that'll make you question if you're in love or just in for a good smackdown, this record is a gem in the treasure chest of vintage vinyl. So dust off your turntable and get ready to groove to the soulful sounds of love, soul, and a good ol' fashioned whoopin'. #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #soul "Strong Leg" Larry Jefferson was a highly successful soul singer and ruthless "strong arm" record deal negotiator. Larry was notorious for cutting out all the bull sh*t talk by putting his money and his foot where your mouth is. Larry would walk into the conference room, tell everyone to shut up, then play this record full blast as he kicked the sh*t out of everyone in the room until they cut him a fair deal. Lyrics [Verse 1] My temper is short My patience is thin I ain't got time For this bull sh*t again [Chorus 1] N*gro please (please please) N*gro please (please please) Don't fuck with me (don't f*ck with me) N*gro please [Verse 2] You're playing with fire You're pushing your luck Say that one more time I will f*ck you up [Chorus 2] N*gro please (please please) N*gro please (please please) Don't f*ck with me (don't f*ck with me) N*gro please [Bridge] Quit all your b*tching (please shut up) Stop complaining (shut the f*ck up) Or I will beat you (beat that a**) Beyond explaining (what happened?) [Verse 3] My temper is short My patience is thin I ain't got time For this bull sh*t again [Chorus 3] N*gro please (please please) N*gro please (please please) Don't f*ck with me (don't f*ck with me) N*gro please Oh no

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70svinyl #70sfunk Pimp anthem by funk super-group "Pimpadelic". Lyrics [Verse 1] It ain't easy pimpin' These hoes don't understand I'll help you know the kitchen Like the back of my hand [Chorus 1] Pimp, slap upside your face Pimp slap upside your face Pimp (pimp) slap (slap) upside your face Pimp slap upside your face [Verse 2] I swing my palm to keep the calm Use my knuckle if you give me trouble Backhand a b*tch if that's not enough Now hurry up and make me some lunch [Chorus 2] Pimp, slap upside your head Pimp slap upside your head Pimp (pimp) slap (slap) upside your heads Pimp slap upside your heads [Verse 3] He's the cash collector (collect that sh*t) He's the b*tch corrector (correct that bitch) He'll woop your ass until it's all sh*tty Never let a b*tch owe him three fitty [Verse 4] Don't test me b*tch you know I don't play I throw a punch like I'm cutting down hay Pimp hand strong and my patience is thin My b*tch slap's so fast I'll make your head spin

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk This single by Tim "Ladies Man" Fields is a 70s Funk cover version of Skeeter "Must Skeet" Pete's hit soul single from 1967. Lyrics [Verse 1] I think of you when I hear this song Wondering about what you got on I thought our love was in the past But I just can't resist that a** [Chorus] You got me bricked up You got my pr*ck up Looking at that big butt You got me bricked up [Verse 2] I love how you respect my hustle I feel involuntary muscles Lets see whats behind that meat curtain Looks like shes hurtin for a squirtin [Bridge] Every time you walk my way, it's like a dream Your body moving to the rhythm, a soulful steam You're the melody I can't shake, love's picturesque theme Your presence hits me deep, like a bassline's scheme In the moonlight, our vibes intertwine With the stars dancing, your touch so divine

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #90shiphop #90srap 90s underground hip-hop single "Pimp Olympics" by Atomic Wax and Hard Archive. Lyrics [Atomic Wax Verse] Pimp hand acrobatics don't you question these tactics Make you back flip like a b*tch with my backhand gymnastics Don't try this at home my technique is advanced I vault the pole vault with the d*ck in my pants You could suckus this discus cuz I don't f*ck around Take me three tenths of a second to knock those t*ts in the ground Listen for the pistol cuz you're in deep sh*t I'll run 400 meters just to slap a b*tch [Chorus] It's The pimp Olympics the Olympics of pimpin I slap down b*tches like a pimpin Olympian. [Atomic Wax Verse] Run for it b*tch cuz your outta your class I'll run a hundred yard dash to put a foot up your a** The Judges know before it even begin That When I slap a b*tch it's a perfect ten Going to the podium some world record sh*t Pimp hand athletics wear the gold on my d*ck Aim for the game to knock a b*tch to their backs Cuz I'm thermonuclear Atomic Wax [Atomic Wax Verse] The imitators need to step the f*ck aside Wax and Hard Archive will bury you alive Testing my patience with your cheap imitations B*tch you better know your own limitations Back the f*ck up and give me some space I'll breast stroke in your face with a medium pace Cuz You ain't got the soul with that weak hoe control You think you can swim but the pool's f*ckin closed [Hard Archive Verse] All you do is talk talk talk but you're never listening Don't test me b*tch I'm a pimp Olympian I'll woop that a** in every competition You can't take this heat b*tch get back in the kitchen Every time I run it's a three legged race Gonna shove my baton in the judges face I'll run your a** down like Jesse Owens for that three fitty you be owing [Hard Archive Verse] I'm the greatest Olympian since ancient Greece One hundred yard dash practice running from police I pole vault over the prison fences Jumping over walls like I was Mexican Slapping b*tches is part of my fitness plan I'm doing laps faster than Bruce Jenner when he was still a man Gonna massacre these games like Munich Hard Archive slapping b*tches with music

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk Just wanted to tell you.

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #taperip #cassette #music #obscurerecords #80scassette #funk #80stape #80sfunk Rare 1980s funk pop cassingle "Punch My Boss" performed by George Michael Jackson and The Empty Office. Lyrics [Verse 1] Another long week at the office Doing hard work for little pay In a world with too many bosses That need to be punched in the face [Chorus] After I punch the clock I'm gonna go punch my boss Have myself an early lunch Then take the rest of the day off [Verse 2] Don't say I have a case of the Mondays You're likely to get your a** kicked I came in on a Sunday To fix the printer with my fist [Bridge] The stupid memos just won't stop The new guy took my parking spot Ask me to make one more coffee pot And someone's gonna get shot [Verse 3] I'm climbing the corporate ladder Working my way up to the top And when I finally get there I'm gonna punch my bosses' boss [Outro] Thank God its Friday Oh yeah

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #soul #60ssoul This rare mono 45 soul single is by gospel singer and part-time schoolhouse teacher 'Sister Mable'. At that time during the late 1960s many people began to own and watch televisions rather than read books. Sister Mable wrote this song as a warning to her students to not believe everything they hear and see on TV. Lyrics [Verse 1] You believe everything you're told Buy everything that you're sold They can do their stupid tricks But I ain't falling for that sh*t [Chorus] You're one dumb mother f*cker Ooh yeah stupid mother f*cker [Verse 2] Can't take hearing any more Already heard this sh*t before They can do their stupid tricks But I ain't falling for that sh*t [Bridge] Think you're smart like a computer You sound like you're really dumb You can't get any stupider You're gonna need a shorter bus [Verse 3] You believe everything you're told Buy everything that you're sold You can keep your slick sales pitch I ain't buying any of your sh*t