here go you a human making a (series of) mistake(s)

here we are again, same question
i think i probably played it at some point in time
why do men break their guitars *since 1956 amy n a lot of it is either out of rage or performance art (along w/ setting pianos on fire n shit)
i will never understand destroying a perfectly good (or bad) instrument
well apparently phoebe bridgers smashed her guitar on snl
i'm not trying to break these keys hahaha
it allows you to extend your life n not just the creative one
my life ain't that much fun so this is a fantastic outlet
i can't help but obsess about all things that make me dumb
at least i'm not numb to it n i can't forget it no matter what hahaha
i guess choosing pot would indicate that i chose schizophrenia w/out knowing but i am fine w/ my decision
i wish my lack of short-term memory would knock out this massive guilt complex + obsessive compulsive emotional turmoil but alas...
this has a very nostalgic feel, also the lighting n that sweater!
marijuana is a lotta things to ag but esp a reflector
here i explain the core reason why i still get high n why i started doing it in the first place...it makes the self-analysis less terrible cos i will inevitably do that n only God can judge meh!
i can never relax n kick back, pretending i enjoy anything
make the most outta what i go thru n make sense out of it for everybody else *but i do this esp for me i reckon
if anyone gets anything out of it that's wonderful n i am very happy about that
it is always worth it (it doesn't have to feel like it)
i swerved, that's what happened just now
i force myself to put this up on the internet cos it's the right thing to do (my ego doesn't want me to)
a risk that keeps on risking
every single week i wanna run away
so we were at this fake weed bar...
i talked about this on stage n the subject matter did really well considering the govt thc non-sobriety
if i'm honest on stage i get in less trouble...that's the place
if i am honest off stage people get mad about it
i don't like a mean spirit n i interact w/ people like that all the time
it's a good thing if it forces me to grow tho it's not fun
everything is a good thing, damnit
they're mean becuz they can't control everything around them (and esp you)
we gotta deal w/ these people, unfortunately cos they won't kill themselves J.O.K.E.
we don't really want em to kill themselves (hyperbole)
an exaggerated sentiment towards the american public cos i fucking live here too n it's a shithole becuz of the people