waterfall effect between a mother and child (and emotional cost)

For those that have been with me for a little while on this journey, you’d be well aware of my status as a recovering people pleasing.

as we dive into the dynamics about how that faulty script of connection comes about, one of the uncomfortable discoveries that comes to light is we start doing this to find safety.

when another person tells you ‘just say no’

and you think to yourself ‘why cant i say no?’

it's because of this conditioning.

the no to a people pleaser, isn’t this uncomfortable request, it is the foundation that you have been trained to make sure other people are ok, in order to make sure you are ok.

the only way we get ourselves out of that toxic equation that can only lead to victimisation, anxiety and burnout, is by sitting nakedly in that truth.

yes you can have compassion for others and their experience, but that compassion is worthless when you are in bits.

better to build yourself up first

show yourself some self-compassion

then start acting out of loving kindness for others.

otherwise the heavy burden of shame, and the original problem of “them first” only continues to deliver bad outcomes.

day 1 of the retreat in September will be investigating our attachments within the “3 abandonments” protocol that leads to anxiety and depression. details in the usual place.

to your healing 💙 ,

Jas