Story Unlikely's Magazine Submission Song

Our touching masterpiece reminding you of our guidelines, and why you should totally support us. Lyrics below:Show more

(This is a song for all you writers out there, laboring in obscurity)

[verse 1]
Thank you for submitting your story
We hope you pumped it full of rhyme and allegory
Just kidding, we're not really concerned with that
But here's what we do care about, as a matter of fact:

[verse 2]
Write a good story and submit it to us
Read all of our guidelines, and please don't fuss
Don't forget to subscribe - it's free, remember?
Or throw us a bone and become a paying member
(Because)

[chorus]
We’re building something The Big Five would never parrot
Publishing stories based on quality and merit
Bucking the trends, the industry, and trolls impolitely
A humble lit mag called Story Unlikely

[verse 3]
After you submit, wait the appropriate amount of days
If we accept, we’ll respond with accolades and praise
But remember, we don’t respond to rejections – no never
So don’t ask for the current status – no really, don’t endeavor

[verse 4]
(also)
Don’t email us questions, answered in the guidelines
We’re all volunteers, not a bunch of wealthy Heinleins
You know we’re quite busy, looking over your submissions
Maybe one day, we’ll even earn a commission
(Because)

[chorus]
We’re building something The Big Five would never parrot
Publishing stories based on quality and merit
Bucking the trends, the industry, and trolls impolite-lee
A humble lit mag called Story Unlikely

[bridge]
But we’re rooting for you dear writer
We think the future is brighter
With the best stories promoted
Not stinkers or lame tales being floated
By elitist snobs devoid of taste
Degrading the writing industry into a disgrace
That’s why we exist, that’s why we’re here
We’re turning this ship around, so have no fear!
(because)

[chorus]
It’s something The Big Five would never parrot
Publishing stories based on quality and merit
Bucking the trends, the industry, and trolls impolite-lee
A humble lit mag called Story Unlikely…