This Dog Is Not Happy To Go Out

It really is hard being a dog these days, you know? People never seem to understand you. All they ever think is that you are cute and loyal and that you like to chew on their sofa cushions, but what about your hopes and dreams? What happens with all of your aspirations? Does anyone care that you want to become an astronaut like Laika or that you want to be the best piano player that ever lived? That’s right. The answer is no.

Ah, those humans, when will they ever understand dog language? It would make things way more easier. But no, they can’t get past the woof-woof. A dog can’t seem to cough or sneeze these days. Sheesh.

It’s hard to explain it, but sometimes we think that they don’t want to understand the meaning of no. No, we don’t want to go out every day at 9 a.m. Ideally it would be 5:30 in the morning, but 9 is definitely not acceptable. And sure, we can chew on dry dog food, but it tastes worse than Soldier Fuel, and we’ve tried that, too. You should work on your menu, human, because a juicy steak every now and then is definitely good for our figure.

But all complaints aside, we know that you only mean the best for us and you want to take care of us as if we were your human babies. We know that you care about us getting enough exercise and eating healthy, but please, next time you see us giving you this horrified look when we’re in front of the door, opt for a cosy night, in front of the TV, cuddling with us until we fall asleep. Thank you!