on suicide, suffering and sanctity + showing bullet wound

when I say I broadcast my suicide attempts I just mean that I mentioned them after the fact not that I livestreamed them

to paraphrase CS lewis "blessed is he who looks around at a world that seems without god and says "I am forsaken, but still I obey"
I forgot to mention that part that was part of my spiritual trial during these events and why I believe I'll be truly blessed by god with a prosperous future going forwards

bugman death drive (by the destributist)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODjsfoZVqGI