excessive scrutiny is my life

4 months ago
10

nice angle there, it's good to switch it up
yawl like these intros
any decision feels like the wrong one when living a life of indecision
back when i attempted to have a bf hahaha
what was the point in catchin me
nobody can keep me but God
why i get attached to things that don't seem to be worth it
i'm lucky to acknowledge this
damnity damn i sound like some kinda gutter punk angel
you can sway the future to work out in yer favor w/ faith
analyze til i cry my eyes out full of doubt in myself
so much in between due to the torment of trying to figure out what this or that meant
if it seems like i'm ______ that's why
i'm sorry if i got chu upset, i didn't mean it
i'm just venting is all
that sounds like a real ass flute
now that sound is so eighties vaporwave
i'd like to have a nice thing w/out ruining it
i'd like to have a good thing w/out pushing it far far away from me
this whole fiasco is making me realize that i should probably change certain aspects of my life b/c they keep proving to be hazardous
i'm convinced i do this cos i'm an orphan that has internalized a lotta guilt n shame
i am attached to cars like a man
my red chevy aveo, fiona *rest in peace, little dinker
i blew out the speakers n wrote the Psalms on my car
b/c i made it mine it lasted a long ass time
she got slaughtered when i made a left hand turn n got t-boned
it was a pretty dangerous intersection tho
stupid n careless in relation to doing anything where i should be wise and careful
i don't wanna be a piece a shit in any kinda way
i organized all the dvds yawl, now i just need to do that w/ my music collection
maybe i should do a mini-series...
am i the sinner anointing my own head
guilt n shame like i said
it ain't fair to do this to myself (indicative of self-loathing)
is it silly for me to try to use a mini cooper to motivate myself

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