Jolene (Golriz 2024) - Ballad for Green MP

5 months ago
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My parody version of Dolly Parton's "Jolene", rewritten to capture the tribulations of Iranian-born New Zealand Green MP, Golriz Ghahraman. Golriz is alleged to have shoplifted on two occasions from an upmarket Auckland clothing boutique. It looks to be the end of her political career, barring a miracle, and I for one, am pleased to sing her on her way...

Lyrics:

Golriz, Golriz, Golriz, Golriz,
I’m begging of you please don’t take my clothes,
Golriz, Golriz, Golriz, Golriz
You shoplifted now everybody knows

Your hypocrisy’s beyond compare,
You wanted something nice to wear,
But you didn’t think the price was fair, Golriz
Your party’s Green as summer leaves
Marama and her Forty Thieves
Is the climate warm enough for you now, Golriz?
You shout about the Gazan plight,
And prattle about human rights,
but you are an antisemite, Golriz.
Now from the river to the sea,
The best things in your life are free,
When you’re the Minister for Larceny, Golriz.
You’ll say you are a refugee,
And sick as well, oh no poor me,
But its no excuse for burglary, Golriz
Now if you did this in Iran,
The mullahs there would take your hand,
But we’ll take your resignation now, Golriz.

Golriz, Golriz, Golriz, Golriz,
I’m begging of you please don’t take my clothes,
Golriz, Golriz, Golriz, Golriz
You shoplifted now everybody knows

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