Lucky with Sass: Conduct Unbecoming

[FOB FREEDOM, September 11, 2023] Any station? Any station? Do you read? Over.

Reporting live from the world's newest banana republic. . .

Since 2016, when the most junior commissioned officer to have ever served as the Operations Officer for all U.S. Army strategic counterintelligence had coincidentally been offered a position, in a Top Secret billet, for a disavowed, “expired” mission, as a “procurement Analyst” with DIA, possibly to support a classified special access program connected to defense research on recombinant coronaviruses, being conducted at UNC Chapel Hill, and not offered, according to court records, in any way, shape or form a bribe to persuade a congressional candidate to drop out of a race, Major Mike Webb, a pesky independent and litigation hobbyist, has been producing a video for the observance of 9/11, and, it is that time of year again, when at least residents in the DC area can recall events connected to the Heather “Lucky” Penny, “[m]ost widely recognized for her service on September 11,” who, according to her merchandising website “was part of the pioneering first wave of women who entered fighters directly from pilot training”.

This year Lucky was joined by her fellow aviator “Sass”, or Lieutenant General Mark Sasseville, appearing in an interview with Norah O’Donnell, broadcasted on CBS News, and, at least this year Lucky let Sass, who, at some point suddenly decides to refer to as General Sasseville, do all of the talking, generally electing a right to remain silent, literally.

Amazingly, the interview revealed that, Sass is much like Captain Brett “Choppper” Crozier, the compassionate aviator and graduate of Annapolis who decided to ditch the idea of becoming an admiral, for unknown reasons, and who could only give a ballpark estimate of how many crew members he had aboard a nuclear aircraft carrier, while transmitting sensitive troop information via nonsecure means, and transmitting a memorandum, addressed to no addressees, as required by regulation, to stress the importance of acting immediately and decisively to save the lives of young and fit sailors, apparently having missed the references in the “peer-reviewed” science report he had read before attempting to circumvent his chain of command for what he described as a situation that was “not ideal” and would “require[] a political solution”.

“Well, Howard, personally, I was surprised to learn that a fully topped-off F16 could fly for more than an hour and a half to two hours. That makes that scene in Fail Safe so much more compelling when the, eh, aviators are ordered to go to afterburners to track down our bombers on their way to Moscow. Maybe we can get Tesla to get us some electric jet fighters, or maybe use solar power. Of course, if we assume an F16, which normally has an effective range of about 2,300 nautical miles, with that 250 gallons in the tank, we may assume that Sass and Lucky traveled that distance while patrolling on the Potomac at an altitude of about 2,000 feet, I believe she said, and covered in what Sass had to guestimate was between an hour and a half and two hours, it seems far more likely they jumped in two F16s, with a plan to complete a suicide mission against an unknown commercial aircraft, and no real plan on how to identify a friendly or hostile aircraft, looking out for those UFOs, of course, and then attempting to hit the tail and the cockpit, presumably with enough speed to cause some damage. And, we must assume, if he was talking to the White House and all, he was in charge, but decided to take off with an $18 million aircraft without any armaments, while whoever was left decided to actually try to get ready to conduct a military mission, doing things like equipping the aircraft, getting folks who know how to scramble, and off course fueling up. And, I certainly feel safe with Sass protecting the DC area, because even though he still thinks he was doing the right thing 22 years ago, he believes his aviators are more capable now,” stated Major Mike Webb, who can neither confirm nor deny exactly how many line of duty investigations he had performed in his military career on aircraft, or even UFO collisions.

Note: grandiosity is a classic sign of bipolar disorder, and we don't want to hurt his feelings lest he go to “that place”, so familiar to Arlington Public School Board Member, Latina Cristina Torres-Diaz.

Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim-cherry. A pandemic agent as lucky can be. Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim--achoo. The luck'll rub off when I bump fists with you. Or blow me a kiss, and catch COVID-2.

Your elected representative is called your elected representative for a reason; and Martin Luther King and Jesus never got elected.

And let’s get ready to RUMBLE! https://rumble.com/vp2uk1-attorneys-need-not-apply-you-have-the-right-to-remain-silent.html.