O Crispy Peas

10 months ago
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This sketch is a spoof of the voiceover outtakes from actor and filmmaker Orson Welles’s 1970 commercial for Findus Frozen Peas. In it, Mr. Welles starts to perform a narration for a series of British television advertisements and can’t finish because he keeps squabbling with the directors over the the script he is asked to read. According to Jonathan Lynn (co-creator of the TV series “Yes Minister” and “Yes, Prime Minister”), the recording is believed to have taken place in Vienna, Austria.
Billy: “This is Professor Clement Clarke Moore’s classic castoff ‘A Visit from St. Nicholas.’” - Clement Clarke Moore (1779-1863) felt that his scholarly work was overshadowed by “A Visit From St. Nicholas.” He considered “A Visit From St. Nicholas” to be a frivolous poem.
Ron: “Get me a jury and show me how you can say that, and if I lose, I’ll appear in a commercial drunkenly hawking cheap booze… You only take a nap in the back of a Vegas limo, and that’s only when you’re trying to sleep off the booze.” - This is a reference to Mr. Welles’s infamous drunken outtakes from a 1980 commercial for the Paul Masson winery (the commercial was actually promoting their California champagne). According to an interview with Assistant Director Peter Shillingford in 2021, Mr. Welles arrived in Los Angeles at about noon in a chauffeur driven limousine. Mr. Welles claimed to have been up late the previous night shooting in Las Vegas, had taken a sleeping pill, and appeared to be quite drunk. The set and actors at the L.A. mansion had been in place since 10am, so Mr. Shillingford persuaded Mr. Welles to go ahead and shoot the commercial, thinking that if the commercial did not go well, Mr. Shillingford could at least provide the clips to their insurance company as proof that Welles showed up unfit to participate (via an “actor malfunction” clause in their contract), and get at least some of their investments back. According to Mr. Shillingford, after the disastrous takes, the owner of the mansion allowed Mr. Welles get some rest in one of her rooms. Mr. Shillingford said that shooting resumed at 3pm that day, and Mr. Welles delivered the lines perfectly.

Ron: “This is a very wearying manifesto…” According to Britannica dictionary, a manifesto is defined as “a written statement that describes the policies, goals, and opinions of a person or group.” We hear at CoBaD think of “A Visit from St. Nicholas” is very much a manifesto, as Clement Clarke Moore’s poem was very instrumental in imposing the image of St. Nicholas as the joyful, plump, toy-bearing Santa Claus on the American Christmas tradition, as well as the names of Santa’s eight courser dinner (minus the red-nosed appetizer, of course).

References:
Britannica Dictionary.
https://www.britannica.com/dictionary/manifesto

Liquisearch.com. Frozen Peas - Transcript
https://www.liquisearch.com/frozen_peas/transcript

Lynn, J. (2016, August 22). British actor-director Jonathan Lynn recalls ‘Orson’s Bag’. Wellesnet.com.
https://www.wellesnet.com/british-actor-director-jonathan-lynn-recalls-orsons-bag/

VanHooker, B. (2021). MEL Magazine. I Was the Man at the Clapperboard for Orson Welles’ Legendary Drunk Wine Commercial. MEL Magazine.
https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/orson-welles-drunk-wine-commercial

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