Knight of faith versus insanity (read description)

eternalised (philosophy channel) on knight of faith
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIstiglpSl0

my main premise is that god did the hard part, he showed me he existed when I thought it was impossible/absurd, and communicated with me, and that this event changed the trajectory of my efforts and therefore my soul into something resembling a moral man who can show he's done the work to improve, which if I'm guessing correctly, will be the catalyst for getting my beloved back, he's guided me through 40 potentially lethal events, I have a general belief that he's not going to condemn me to die in poverty alone judging from his character and general treatment of me and guidance, it's not that that mere belief in a proposition's likelihood is faith, faith is believing in the promises of god when conventionally impossible odds are stacked against you, and ultimately I set about my journey of reformation solely on god's promise that doing so would get my beloved back to me, which IS faith