13 Signs of Mentally Ill Family
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The family acts as a single organism (an enmeshed system) and is exclusionary (xenophobic or paranoid) or permissive (promiscuous or unboundaried)
Emphasizes appearances and perfectionistic (pseudohostile or pseudomutual)
Provides a selective interface between internal and external realities (defenses)
Enforces a narrative (cultish)
Reinforces emerging roles and competitive hierarchies
Is ambient or implicit (hidden text), not overt and explicit
Makes use of emotional blackmail, ostracism, and coercion
Is sexually and emotionally inappropriate (wrongful intimacies)
Is past or future oriented, but never mindful (present) or content
A sink and an amplifier of negative affects
Allows for role reversals (parentifying or adultifying)
Its members are ego dystonic, unhappy, anhedonic, depressed, anxious, even suicidal and always eager to flee its confines and never look back
Reifies insecure attachment styles and mental health issues (“They are all so dour … grandiose … reticent …”)
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