PRIDE of Pandemic: La Vie Boheme

Greetings and Salutations!

Quite often, especially at events before the steps of the Supreme Court, we have been what may fairly be described as adversaries in advocacy arising from controversial issues; however, following what has been published in the science reports, as well as promoted by various public health agencies, one must concede that a most particular picture of events emerges from the proximal origins hypothesis proposed by the esteemed Dr. Anthony Fauci, and many notable evolutionary virologists that, I must confess, finds me, an evangelical Christian, of international notoriety, quite alarmed.

I have proposed to some leading scientists, on your behalf, if not behest, the commissioning of a study to aid in the final resolution of a vexing mystery that even now the most trusted voice in separating fact from fiction has conceded may never find resolution, while certainly aware that Doctors Edward C. Holmes and Kristian G. Andersen, have warned that a failure to determine shall inevitably result in those very same human activities bringing us into collision with novel
viruses.

I find it most intriguing that a notable evolutionary biologist like Dr. Ralph Baric, who had early discovered the threat posed my bat coronaviruses circulating in China that found great potential for spill over with great facility chose not to erect some barrier before such a collision might occur, building a wall of separation, in social distancing, rather than taking that critical time to continuing to explore the possibilities through cultivation of recombinant and chimeric viruses.

Nonetheless, we must concede, keeping an open mind, open to
all possibilities, that if, in fact, the virus emerged through some inter course of sufficient exposure, one could not rule out, at least presently, the population for whom you direct your advocacy activities, especially after the recent novel case of a canine infection with our newest PHEIC, monkeypox, a tragic affliction arising in a household pet who had shared a bed with his gay lover owners who had both confessed to being unfaithful to one another, in their loving relationship, albeit not a holy union, according to some religious faith denominations.

So, like I have called upon the scientific community to rule out the plausibility that the virus that the Wall Street Journal has recently attributed to over 15 million fatalities worldwide, twice the numbers reported by the WHO, in Christian charity, I beseech you, therefore, to summon your courage and skills to develop some scientific arguments, grounded in empirical evidence, to exculpate gay men who, it at least appears, perhaps only in ascertainment bias to have been the results of some persons in your constituency pursuing their assumed rights to sexual freedom without consequences.

Dr. Linsey C. Marr has done some work to assist you, and encourage you to rely upon her as a resource, because she has reported that an index case, infected in Wuhan, during this alleged community transmission early in the public health crisis, had traveled some 614 miles on a train trip consuming two days, without setting off a chain of infections, but, at a dining room had set off a super spreader event, infecting only nine others, sparing eight staff members and others in the 145 square meter space, while seated in a 30 square meters corner section serviced by one air conditioning vent, overlapping in presence for about an hour.

Hence, we must assume the cause of our two lineage cases appears to suggest someone in intimate contact with an animal in an unnatural union, love notwithstanding, for at least that amount of time.

Note that when Ralph Northam had proposed to encourage gay men, over 50% of whom the CDC reports are unaware that they are infected with HIV, I and I alone, brought a case to enjoin him from placing your constituents at risk of a disease that has proven so fatal to the gay community. So, don't be hating on
MOI, deplorable though I may be.

So, go, science experts! And I look forward to reviewing your arguments. You may ask The Satanic Temple, as my efforts to appeal to the Satanists have thus far been woefully unavailing, and one would have thought we could put away our religious divisions in an effort to save their own proselytes. Feelings are often hurt but never help in matters of science.

And, you know, God loves you?

Major Mike Webb
God's Advocate in Pandemic
You can’t save the world if you are NEVER born!