Hindsight is 1642

Inspired by reading Nathaniel Hawthorne's "The Scarlet Letter."

The "Public Shaming Notice" (Executive Order 2020 signed by Governor Bellingham) and this skit were inspired by an actual event. In late 2021 and early 2022, soon after the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccine, a curious sign was posted on the door of a coffee shop: For those who are fully vaccinated, the wearing of masks is optional." This created a quasi-"Scarlet Letter" scenario. Most people will not wear masks if they don't have to because they are uncomfortable. So when a person walked into that coffee shop wearing a mask, he/she was "telling" the whole shop that he/she was unvaccinated. The coffee shop didn't really consider the privacy consequences of its actions: making its vaccinated customers literally comfortable, whilst at the same time making its unvaccinated customers figuratively uncomfortable.

Governor Bellingham's voice is not so much an impersonation of John F. Kennedy as it is an impersonation of Vaughn Meader impersonating JFK. CoBaD highly recommends Vaughn Meader's "The First Family" (1962). A brilliant comedy album.
Hess: “Hi dear, hi, Gov. Thanks. I’ve never been here before. Exposed ductwork, bad acoustics, and loud TVs everywhere filled with generals without armies spewing idiocy.”
Rog: “Yeah, Hess, I thought you’d like a sports bar. Especially the spewing idiocy part; it’s…”
Hess: “…Just like the scaffold, yes, I know. Thanks so much of thinking of me, dear. Hand me a menu, will you?”

“Generals without armies” we think is a Dostoevsky expression. It refers to retired generals now highly paid defense contractors and military analysts who are paraded in front of the media saying things like: “If I were General so-and-so, I would do this…” It’s important to remember that these individuals are retired and (1) time away from the service has clouded their memories, (2) they are not privy to the information that the current generals have access to, and (3) the retired generals do not have to face the consequences of being wrong. They have no “skin in the game,” that is, since they are “generals without armies” they don’t have to worry about losing armies (soldiers killed or battles lost).

Rog: “The second shot is a one hour photo shoot with The Right Irrelevant Arthur Prick at his photography studio. That offers a $100 deductible, with a 95 percent uncoverage.”
Hess: “’UNcoverage?’”
Rog: “Yes. You’ll be posing for him in a string bikini.”
Hess: “No, thanks! (muttering) That Prick has seen enough of me already…”

In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter,” Reverend Arthur “Prick” Dimmesdale is Hester’s former lover and Pearl’s father.
Hess: (playing with Pearl) “I don’t know, Gov. I’ve heard about some experimental trials being carried out over at the General Court of Salem by the malingering research team of Abagail, Mary and Betty. Their results suggest witchcraft is to blame for allergies. All I have to do to be fully covered is to pretend to faint, randomly scream, threaten to jump out a window, feign satanic possession, and throw a sacrificial lamb of my choice under the bus. They published their findings in “The Crucible Journal of Allergy Relief.” They said that their initial findings are encouraging, but more trials, tortures and hangings are needed.” – A reference to Arthur Miller’s play “The Crucible.”