take the world's shit in order to shit right back on the world

i have a really bad habit...
disorganized schizo, can't you tell
state of my car/house/mind
praying consistently all my life for God's direction
i can't seem to fit in w/ this world that He put me in
not easy, but easier to understand
why i can't allow myself to do what they do
how could this be preferable?
laughing so much that people would assume i'd lost my mind
never had my mind to begin with
if i don't sing outta tune at some point the song didn't happen
care care care ick ah cha
character vs. caricature
the senselessness probably makes me interesting
stage presence/performance is fucking terrible
maybe the goal ain't to be comfortable
it always hurts to grow
always easier to project than to face simply hurting
sometimes i don't think i know anything
i musta bit my finger
i'm not as aware as i'd like to think
it's hard for me to see the good things
tell me in the comments damnit
wanna be a better version of myself, whatever that is
don't wanna stop or think i've had enough
i'll never be satisfied (woman)
i don't do personal bits
sometimes wanna scrap the keyboard all together
i really do am sick of this shit haha i sound so delirious
so tired of everything that i ain't making sense
most of the time i can catch myself whenever i say sumin stupid
i usually got sumin on my face (chocolate, chicken, cold brew, toothpaste, glitter, pen ink, ash, etc)
...but i know a lot about self-awareness
why should i tell people what to do when i'm this frustrated by "my way"
if it's funny it's fine
da herm hates my fucking guts
what the hell is the real world anyway
the rest of em are figuring out what we knew since childhood
it's taken the sheep this long to figure out (teenie tiny) amt
can't blame those that were never taught how to ask a question/look at reality w/ any skepticism
glad i checked the other lane, almost crashed into that vehicle omg
the Lord is always lookin out when ag is on the road
why would they teach an abstract point of view
cancel culture has always been real, now it's "real" on the internet
i need a damn system, i always fuck up my own system tho
conservative is now abstract hahahahaha
TRUST GOD, work harder, pray more, be patient...the solution is always the same
maybe i should just get a smartphone and take anti-depressant
what could i do different...pretend to be like everybody else (again)
this future weeklong experiment
crazy ass that can't even write a damn setlist
the level of disappointment with myself right now
very few actually understand the Bible
most don't get it, they ain't wise is all
obvious that the world ain't a positive place
oh my goodness! it's a cop
busted tail light, no seatbelt, keyboard in lap
we sound like we're on a plane
how dare you be arrogant when you're this much of a mess
such a wreck no matter how right i am
it's weird watching myself from this angle
dear camera crew in my head: why do close ups when it's this bad
quitting comedy always, even when i do well
in 3 days i will probably love my set
bombing motivates me every time
they didn't know and i didn't either
i kept standing up there lookin stupid
all the shit i got spewin in my head and still...
sooooo exasperating this wall that's preventing me from doing what i do on a stage