The Classic Onion

I couldn't find this classic Onion News Network video so here you go! A group of miners- apparently the entire employee roster of the workers in West Virginia's Kennybrook coal mine are still trapped in dangerous, back breaking mining jobs. Just under an hour ago all 421 miners were denied a pay raise. Now friends and family of those trapped in the jobs have already gathered around the mouth of the mine, hoping and praying that these miners somehow make it out before losing the best years of their lives to horrible thankless work. Obviously this is not my original content. It was originally created by The Onion News Network and I am just responsible for my personal editing and distribution here and on Youtube.

I couldn't find this classic Onion News Network video so here you guys go! Like what The Classic Onion does? https://www.patreon.com/theclassiconion Congressman Ronald North, an extremely vocal opponent of gay marriage drew fire during his 2010 reelection campaign by saying that "legalization of gay marriage would lead to man-horse marriages." In one instance he told the New Haven Register, "It's a slippery slope. If we allow two men to marry, what's next? Men marrying horses?" But yesterday North found himself at the center of a media firestorm when New York Times published photos of North on what appears to be romantic outings with a horse. Obviously this is not my content, I'm just posting it here so people are able to watch it!

Here is this classic Onion News Network video! Like what The Classic Onion does? https://www.patreon.com/theclassiconion The Supreme Court handed down a historic decision this morning ruling unanimously that the first amendment does not apply to Tom Becker, of Phoenix Arizona. The class action lawsuit was brought before a ninth circuit judge by a coalition of Mr. Becker's coworkers, neighbors, and family members who said his continued right to free speech was causing them emotional distress and they presented several video tapes they submitted to the court as evidence.

The official upload to The Onion News Network was glitchy for a lot of people so here is one that works. Like what The Classic Onion does? https://www.patreon.com/theclassiconion Today Now! has the story of an 8-year-old whose demand for never-ending wish fulfillment may force the Make A Wish Foundation to shut down. This child may be sick with leukemia but they learn to never mess with him!