Film Flam

Spoilers on this one. Because this movie sucks. George Takei. He's a guy who has done stuff. He was in Star Trek. Then he decided to do this movie. There's a long boring middle part of his life story that I'd include if I knew what it was. These three ladies, even in the world of this movie, are too old for high school. Unless they were held back a grade. But nevermind that! They're ninjas! They're cheerleaders! They're....um...dancers in a...club...that men go to? #bmovies #georgetakei #martialartsmovie

We spoil this movie. You'll thank us. We watch these so you don't have to. Not only do you not have to watch Freddy's Friday's, you don't want to. In another attempt to throw crap against the wall and see what sticks, we have a Fight Night's at Freddy's ripoff. #fivenightsatfreddys #fnaf #bmovies

Spider in the Attic is a motion picture. In that, the pictures do move. It's about a bunch of people in a house that the film company rented to make 8000 movies one after the other. I hope everyone got paid. #horror #halloween #filmflam

Our beloved Jagged Edge Productions have done it again. They forgot all the lessons they learned about making movies and decided to start all over like they're never done it before. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is a masterpiece of capitalizing on a familiar character recently lapsing into the public domain. #bmovies #winniethepoohbloodandhoney #winniethepooh

Ahhh, the 80s. The height of the slasher flick. Get a bunch of girls together, throw in a couple of boys and watch the carnage unfold. It was also a time when middle aged neighbors just walked into other people's houses. I guess. I mean I was around, and sometimes I just walked in my friends houses, but I wasn't middle aged....then. #horror #80s #movies

Doctor Carver is a movie. At least we think it's supposed to be. We know it's about plastic surgery. There's probably supposed to be some message about beauty standards or something, but it's obscured by the horrible writing and acting.

We would explain what happens in this movie or how it ends, but it's incomprehensible. Aliens show up? And someone's mom? We think? We were too hard on Jagged Edge Productions. #badmovies #moviereviews #bmovie

The title says "Pterodactyl" but there's more than just one. There's anywhere from 3 to 6. Or 5. Whatever, they suck. The stable of actors from Britain's Jagged Edge Productions pooped out this gem of a movie while idling at a stoplight one their way home from Sheetz. #film #filmflam #moviereviews

Jagged Edge Productions makes movies faster than bananas turn brown. This is the sequel to Bloody Mary, or The curse of Bloody Mary. We're not sure because these movies have multiple names and and covers and are all over the map. This one is either called Bloody Mary Returns or Bloody Mary's Return, or Bloody Mary 2. No matter what you call it it'll make you forget what happiness is like. #bmovies #moviereviews #badmovies.

The Curse of Humpty Dumpty is yet another movie in the public domain cinematic movie franchise pooped out by Jagged Edge Productions. Jagged Edge craps out more movies in six months than toddlers have diaper changes. We suffered through it so you don't have to. But if you really want to, it's on Tubi. And in Wal-mart, for some reason. #badmovies #moviereviews #filmflam

We think these are supposed to be horror movies. Instead it's just horrible.

This movie is called CROC! We're pretty sure this movie was mistakenly released composed of only deleted scenes. It made us dumber while watching it. It was probably filmed on a Thursday during a lunch break from Costco. Crocodile movies are like the drum solos of horror movies. #badmovie #film #horrormovies