You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist

On this podcast we often explore the gender crisis affecting today’s young and vulnerable people. Today we bring on a different perspective from Phil Illy, a man who self-identifies as autogynephilic, meaning that he experiences a sexual attraction to the idea of himself as a woman. Originally described by sexologist Ray Blanchard, autogynephilia is a common contributor to gender dysphoria in young men. Yet the sexual component of “gender identity” is rarely addressed in the process of diagnosing and reviewing “treatment options” for gender dysphoria. Why is this? Phil considers autogynephilia, as well as its counterpart in women, autoandrophilia, to belong to a broader category he calls autoheterosexuality. While many in the gender critical community consider these to be sexual fetishes, Phil refers to them instead as sexual orientations. Within that framework, he researched the issue extensively and wrote a book on the subject. Phil makes several further assertions in this interview, while I play devil’s advocate and push back, all in an attempt to bring understanding to listeners who are concerned for loved ones and expose both sides of the debate over this taboo topic. What does femininity mean to him? Is autoheterosexuality just another form of narcissism? What is its connection with autism? How influenced is it by fetish pornography and niche online microcultures? Would it occur in a cultural vacuum? Is it heritable? How can it be a sexual orientation if it doesn’t involve another person; isn’t it just a fetish? Are “autohet” people capable of sustaining meaningful romantic relationships with others? How are their platonic relationships and quality of life? Are self-aware autogynephilic men threats to women, and under what conditions can we peacefully coexist? UPDATE: this episode was recorded prior to Phil's appearance at the Genspect conference in Denver, which became the subject of much heated debate on X. I was not at the conference, but have weighed in online to some degree. Things got so heated around this issue I have temporarily locked my account. The best commentary I have found on the debacle comes from the ever-admirable Heather Heying on her blog, Natural Selections: The Public Fetish. https://naturalselections.bio/p/the-public-fetish Phil is the author ofAutoheterosexual: Attracted to Being the Other Sex. He received degrees in physics & mechanical engineering before retiring to Portland, Oregon. His blog can be found at https://phililly.substack.com/. X: @autogynephilic Book: https://amzn.to/3MC1RJp Landon & Robby Starbuck’s interview with detransitioner Chris Beck: https://youtu.be/S4XBqxrYVoo?si=vXxSykguUiRjAuKM Timestamps [00:01:52] Autogynephilia and sexual orientation. [00:05:17] Auto-sexual orientations. [00:10:08] Dynamic competition in relationships. [00:14:32] Autogynephilic men and attraction. [00:19:45] Body and identity. [00:22:12] Embracing cross-sex identity. [00:27:13] Attaining an excellent male physique. [00:31:18] Celebrity crushes and real relationships. [00:37:37] Sexual orientation and self-love. [00:41:09] Neurological studies on AGP. [00:47:09] Porn addiction and sissy hypnoporn. [00:50:03] Autogynephilia as an inborn predisposition. [00:55:46] Autogynephilia in the trans community. [01:00:29] Overlap between autism and autogynephilia. [01:04:45] Autogynephilia and Transgender Identities. [01:07:23] Autoandrophilia and female-to-male transgenderism. [01:11:28] Autoandrophilia in transsexuals. [01:19:08] Autogynephilic males seeking identity. [01:19:23] Autogynephilia and Medical Transition. [01:24:31] Ignorance in therapist education. [01:28:32] The complexity of bisexuality. [01:34:08] Relations with women and envy. [01:38:38] Men getting in touch with feminine side. [01:43:18] The desire to be the other sex. [01:46:16] Autosexuality as the culprit. Take$200 offyour EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with promo codeSOMETHERAPIST at https://www.eightsleep.com/ Take20% offall superfood beverages with codeSOMETHERAPISTathttp://organifi.com/sometherapist Check out my shop forbook recommendations+wellness products. Bookshop: https://www.sometherapist.com/bookshop Wellness Products: https://www.sometherapist.com/shop-wellness-products Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. https://www.joeypecoraro.com/ WatchNO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care(our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Usecode SOMETHERAPISTto take20%off your order. Follow us on X@2022affirmationor Instagram at@affirmationgeneration. https://nowaybackfilm.com/ Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join myLocals community! https://somekindoftherapist.locals.com

Samantha Green, a mother of two and Licensed Mental Health Counselor specializing in perinatal mental health, joins me to discuss the challenges and issues affecting women during pregnancy and postpartum. She shares her insights on maternal burnout, “mom rage,” postpartum depression, the impact of hormones on mood, and the difficulties faced by modern families in a politically polarized environment. Samantha highlights the pressures that women face in today's society, particularly due to unrealistic expectations perpetuated by social media. She emphasizes the importance of self-care and the need for women to prioritize their own well-being, especially during the early weeks of motherhood. Samantha also addresses the dynamics between mothers and fathers, acknowledging the differences in parenting styles and the potential for resentment and communication challenges. Our conversation delves into the hormonal shifts that occur during pregnancy, postpartum, and weaning. Samantha explains how these hormonal changes can affect a woman's mood and lead to symptoms such as intrusive thoughts and anxiety. She emphasizes the importance of understanding these shifts and seeking appropriate support and treatment when necessary. Samantha explains how Polyvagal Theory helps in understanding the different states of the nervous system and how they relate to anxiety, depression, and stress. She provides practical strategies for managing these states and promoting overall well-being. Throughout the episode, Samantha emphasizes the need for open communication, self-compassion, and seeking help when needed. She encourages women to let go of unrealistic expectations and prioritize their own mental and physical health. By addressing these issues and seeking support, women can navigate the challenges of motherhood and find balance in their lives. Samantha Green is a wife, mother to two, and Licensed Mental Health Counselor in in New York who specializes in Perinatal Mental Health. After working in a community clinic for several years and experiencing first hand how difficult it was to find resources for mothers she opened her own Private Practice and is currently working on a book to help mothers manage the stress, and decrease burnout. Find Samantha’s practice at https://www.samanthagreenlmhc.com/ or follow her on X @samgreenlmhc. Books mentioned in this episode: "The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation" by Stephen W. Porges https://amzn.to/3PV5gEi [00:01:39] Mom rage and maternal burnout. [00:04:10] Shifting priorities after having kids. [00:07:12] Men and women differences. [00:11:39] Dad's experience with baby. [00:13:26] Impact of birth control on the brain. [00:18:43] Hormonal treatment alternatives. [00:21:29] Mom rage and guilt. [00:25:35] Intrusive thoughts and OCD. [00:28:27] Intrusive thoughts and mindfulness. [00:31:41] Mother-baby units for postpartum depression. [00:34:35] The freeze state. [00:37:09] Chronic stress and its effects. [00:41:22] Early life experiences and coping mechanisms. [00:45:08] Postpartum PTSD and trauma. [00:48:09] Helping women through pregnancy [00:52:35] Trauma resurfacing in motherhood. [00:54:13] Complex family dynamics. [00:58:09] Co-sleeping and its taboo. [01:00:40] Balancing career and motherhood. If you enjoyed this conversation, please rate & review it on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share this episode with a friend, or on social media. You can also head over to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like, comment, & share there as well. To get $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover visit https://www.eightsleep.com/ & enter promo code SOMETHERAPIST. Take 20% off your entire purchase of nourishing superfood beverages at Organifi.com with code SOMETHERAPIST. http://organifi.com/sometherapist Check out my shop. In addition to wellness products, you can now find my favorite books! Wellness Products: https://www.sometherapist.com/shop-wellness-products Bookshop: https://www.sometherapist.com/bookshop MUSIC: Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. https://www.joeypecoraro.com/ You can now watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use promo code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. https://nowaybackfilm.com/ Follow us on Twitter @2022affirmation or on Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, plus other perks TBD. Get your first month free with promo code GRANDFATHER; after that, it's only $8/month. Check it out at https://somekindoftherapist.locals.com

Survivor-turned-advocate Andrea Heinz joins me to discuss her work in the Edmonton Sex Trade Offender Program, where she helps rehabilitate men who have purchased sex, and her reasons for supporting the Nordic model, which criminalizes the buying but not the selling of sex. Andrea opens up about her own journey in the sex industry, highlighting the combination of poverty and brainwashing that led her into it. She shares the challenges she faced, including the dissociation required to maintain the illusion for customers and the toll it took on her sense of self. Andrea emphasizes the importance of rehabilitation for men and the need to educate them about the harm they cause through their actions. The conversation delves into the legal status of prostitution in Canada, with Andrea explaining the changes that have occurred over the years, as well as the obstacles to law enforcement. Andrea shares her personal insights on the impact of the sex industry on both women and men. She discusses the distorted thinking and delusion that can occur for both parties, as well as the trauma and self-doubt that can linger long after leaving the industry. Andrea also highlights the importance of somatic therapy in recovering from traumatic dissociation. Andrea Heinz is a Socialist Feminist from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada who writes and speaks about commercialized sex. After spending 7 years in licensed and regulated brothels from 2006-2013, she is now a sex trade abolitionist and Equality Model proponent. Andrea shares her journey and insights with students, professionals and the general public. She is happily married with three young children. Email: 2020heinzsight@gmail.com X: @heinzsight2020 Articles mentioned: "On Exiting from Commercial Sexual Exploitation, Insights from Sex Trade Experienced Persons" by Andrea Heinz "A Mule for the Patriarchy, Waking Up to the Harms of Prostitution on Wives and Families" by Andrea Heinz Previous episodes mentioned: Episode 71: Sex Work or Slavery? Myths vs. Facts of Modern Prostitution with Michelle Kelly Resources mentioned: The Centre to End All Sexual Exploitation The Protection of Communities and Exploited Persons Act The Canadian Alliance for Sex Work Law Reform Timestamps: [00:00:15] The typical sex buyer. [00:04:21] Men's misconceptions about sex work. [00:07:30] Sex trade offender program. [00:13:08] Harms of the prostitution system. [00:18:20] Younger men's violent behavior. [00:19:18] Drug habits and dating struggles. [00:25:49] The Nordic model style law. [00:28:40] Challenging Sex Work Laws. [00:32:12] The harm of prostitution. [00:35:06] Trauma and self-damaging experiences. [00:39:09] Identity and self-esteem after trauma. [00:42:37] Insights on therapy for sex workers. [00:46:03] Somatic therapy and emotional healing. [00:50:07] Morality and the law. [00:54:29] Therapy in the sex industry. [00:57:22] Challenging patient expectations. [01:02:26] Interventions in the commercial sex industry. [01:05:42] Toxicity of the commercial sex industry. [01:10:31] Women's journey in the sex industry. [01:12:10] Entry phase and judgment dynamics. [01:16:28] FRIES acronym and sexual consent. [01:19:10] Prostitution as bribery. [01:22:38] Sitting in difficult emotions. [01:27:14] Media Content and Social Change. If you enjoyed this conversation, please rate & review it on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share this episode with a friend, or on social media. You can also head over to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like, comment, & share there as well. To get $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover visit https://www.eightsleep.com/ & enter promo code SOMETHERAPIST. Take 20% off your entire purchase of nourishing superfood beverages at Organifi.com with code SOMETHERAPIST. http://organifi.com/sometherapist Be sure to check out my shop. In addition to wellness products, you can now find my favorite books! Wellness Products: https://www.sometherapist.com/shop-wellness-products Bookshop: https://www.sometherapist.com/bookshop MUSIC: Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. https://www.joeypecoraro.com/ PRODUCTION: Thanks to Eric and Amber Beels at https://www.difmix.com/ You can now watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use promo code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. https://nowaybackfilm.com/ Follow us on Twitter @2022affirmation or on Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, plus other perks TBD. Get your first month free with promo code GRANDFATHER; after that, it's only $8/month. Check it out at https://somekindoftherapist.locals.com

Is ADHD underdiagnosed or overdiagnosed? Should we think of it as a product of nature, nurture, or a combination of the two? Is it best treated as a developmental condition children will grow out of, or a lifelong neurological difference? Should it be approached differently in boys versus girls? Should society accommodate it like a disability, or should those who have this diagnosis adapt themselves to fit the world? Can it best be remedied by lifestyle, therapy, coaching, or medication? And, if left untreated, are young people at risk of failure-to-launch? I spoke with Ryan Wexelblatt, aka the ADHD Dude, about how ADHD is perceived in our society. We delved into the nature versus nurture debate and explored the role of lifestyle factors in ADHD. Ryan argues that while environmental factors can exacerbate symptoms, ADHD itself is not caused by these factors. Ryan highlights the need to differentiate between normal developmental processes and the underlying executive functioning challenges associated with ADHD. Ryan emphasizes the importance of following scientific evidence and understanding that ADHD is a genetic condition with biological markers. We also discussed the concept of time blindness, which refers to the difficulty individuals with ADHD have in perceiving the passage of time, and how this may be influenced by our modern world, with its constant access to technology and lack of natural time markers. Moving on to the specific challenges faced by boys with ADHD, we explored the importance of understanding the differences in how boys develop social skills compared to girls. Ryan highlights the need for a male perspective in the field of ADHD and social skills training, as many existing approaches tend to teach overly formal etiquette that may not resonate with boys. We also address the issue of self-diagnosis and the influence of social media, cautioning against the misinformation and oversimplification that can occur in online discussions about ADHD. Ryan Wexelblatt is a licensed clinical social worker, former school social worker, and father to a son. Ryan founded ADHD Dude, an evidence-informed resource for parents of children diagnosed with ADHD that provides practical strategies to address ADHD-related challenges. He has worked in the field for two decades and is a contributor to ADDitude Magazine. Ryan creates content for the ADHD Dude YouTube channel and the ADHD Dude Membership Site. Ryan is about to launch "Raising Boys On the Spectrum", the first male-specific resource for parents of boys diagnosed with higher-verbal autism. Originally from Philadelphia, Ryan and his son live in Tucson, Arizona. Books mentioned in this episode: "Feminism Against Progress" by Mary Harrington All books mentioned on this podcast can be found at sometherapist.com/bookshop Other resources mentioned in this episode: ADHD Dude YouTube channel @ADHDDude ADDitude Magazine Timestamps/chapters: [00:00:00] Failure to launch. [00:05:42] Minimal Brain Dysfunction. [00:07:45] Environmental factors and ADHD. [00:12:46] Cognitive inflexibility and ADHD. [00:16:30] Difficulty with executive functioning. [00:18:40] Time perception and ADHD. [00:23:08] Time and nature's rhythm. [00:25:11] Sensing the passage of time. [00:28:32] Mother's risk-taking in daycare. [00:32:51] Autism diagnosis and social media. [00:36:13] Social skills for boys. [00:39:16] Teaching organic connection skills. [00:43:24] Lack of empathy for others. [00:48:48] Video game addiction. [00:51:29] Parent-child relationship dynamics. [00:54:08] Reducing parental accommodation. [00:56:32] Giving and being flexible. [01:00:27] Developing executive functioning skills. [01:03:03] Shifting to declarative language. [01:06:41] The Socratic method. [01:11:05] Emasculated males with autism. [01:15:28] Lopsided dynamics in parenting. [01:19:44] Your courage is appreciated. [01:23:41] The End of Gender. [01:25:21] Intolerance in diversity training. [01:28:14] Gender critical therapy. [01:33:39] Discrimination in healthcare. To get $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover visit https://www.eightsleep.com/ & enter promo code SOMETHERAPIST. Take 20% off your entire purchase of Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST. http://organifi.com/sometherapist Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use promo code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. https://nowaybackfilm.com/ Follow us on Twitter @2022affirmation or on Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, plus other perks TBD. Get your first month free with promo code GRANDFATHER; after that, it's only $8/month. Check it out at https://somekindoftherapist.locals.com

Many of us have life experiences that have corrupted our initial view of the world thus requiring us to reorder ourselves. As a result, many parents are able to offer a dual perspective to address or acknowledge areas of lack in our family relationships, a skills especially acute to stepparents as they are, at least initially, as they acquaint themselves with the reality of their new role. In this segment of this week's episode of Some Kind of Therapist, Jeremiah Wallace addresses the use of humble authority on the spectrum of parental boundaries as a tool to sculpt and mold the stepparent-stepchild relationship to ensure the proper ordering of the home. This week's full episode, 75. Navigating the Blended Family Experience: Jeremiah Wallace on Step-Parenting is available to stream here and on my X profile!

As a single parent, children are obviously the priority to their parent. How does that parent manage the human aspect of postseparation dating, new partnered rearing of children, and all the rest? When do stepparents offer their insight into the family dynamics? This a clip from this week's episode of, Some Kind of Therapist, Jeremiah Wallace joins us to offer his insight as he is the father and stepfather of a uniquely blended family in it's own right. Our full episode is available to stream here or on my X profile!

How does a pro-life woman greet a tough medical situation in which a pro-choice woman would see abortion as the only sensible option?What are the ethical concerns surrounding technologies related to advanced technological treatment of babies with complex or fatal diagnoses? Last week, Samantha Stephenson provided some context on this topic from her Catholic perspective, suggesting that the ethics associated with these topics vary widely among cultures, families, and communities. This full episode, #74. Bioethics & Faith: Samantha Stephenson on Reclaiming Sanctity in a Hypermodern World is available to stream on here and on my X profile!

Last week, I had the pleasure of chatting with Samantha Stephenson where she took some time to discuss how suffering helps to create resilience in human development as a means to increase happiness. The full episode from last week is available here and on my X profile!

In this episode I connected with fellow step-parent, Jeremiah Wallace, host of the podcast "Blended: Navigating the Blended Family Experience." Jeremiah shares his insights and wisdom on the challenges and principles of being a step-parent in a blended family. Jeremiah introduces his concept of "humble authority," emphasizing the importance of finding a balance between being humble and authoritative in order to create a functional and healthy blended family dynamic. We discuss the concept of creating a culture in the home. Jeremiah highlights the significance of prioritizing the well-being of the children and taking the time to understand their unique needs and experiences. He also emphasizes the importance of prioritizing the marital relationship, as the family's well-being is interconnected with the strength of the marriage. We also delve into the challenges faced by step-parents. Jeremiah shares his personal experiences and offers advice on how to approach these challenges with patience, understanding, and open communication. Jeremiah emphasizes the importance of recognizing the individuality of each child and the need to create a sense of ownership and belonging for step-children. He encourages step-parents to build meaningful connections with their step-children by creating rituals, inside jokes, and shared experiences. This episode provides valuable insights and practical advice for step-parents and anyone navigating the blended family experience. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of the principles that can help create a harmonious and loving blended family, as well as strategies for building strong relationships with step-children. Jeremiah Wallace is a health coach and founder of RenewYou Health & Fitness. As a coach he serves his clients to bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be in their health and mentality. He is also host of the podcast Blended - Navigating The Blended Family Experience. As a step-parent himself, Jeremiah supports step-families and those that are facing the complexities that exist within the blended family unit. His desire is for parents to have the clarity, competence and conviction necessary to lead well and walk in purpose for their families. Follow him on Instagram @navigatingtheblend. Resources mentioned in this episode: Blended podcast: https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/blended-navigating-the-blended-family-46uILSrEYTe/ Jeremiah’s wellness coaching practice: Renew You https://www.renewyou.live/ Jeremiah Wallace's Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/navigatingtheblend/ [00:00:10] Having grace for our children. [00:04:33] Humble authority in parenting. [00:07:15] Balancing selflessness and authority. [00:11:10] Being an effective step parent. [00:18:08] Step parenting dynamics. [00:19:44] Introducing new partner to child. [00:24:03] Generational struggles and parenting. [00:28:11] Triangulation in step-parenting. [00:31:33] Step-parenting dynamics. [00:35:10] Step-parenting and navigating different perspectives. [00:39:30] Collective ownership in blended families. [00:43:26] Step-parenting challenges. [00:46:09] Challenging dynamics with co-parenting. [00:51:39] Compensating for parental shortcomings. [00:56:25] Creating family unity. [00:58:04] Unity and accountability in parenting. [01:02:40] Kids' ability to make sense. [01:07:57] The child's experience of shifting between homes. [01:09:17] The importance of unity. [01:14:26] Managing kids' expectations. [01:20:08] Adjusting to different environments. [01:22:21] The importance of settling. [01:28:26] Creating healthy relationship examples. [01:29:40] Mindfulness in building healthy communities. To get $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover visit https://www.eightsleep.com/ & enter promo code SOMETHERAPIST. Take 20% off your entire purchase of nourishing superfood beverages at Organifi.com with code SOMETHERAPIST. http://organifi.com/sometherapist Be sure to check out my shop. In addition to wellness products, you can now find my favorite books! Wellness Products: https://www.sometherapist.com/shop-wellness-products Bookshop: https://www.sometherapist.com/bookshop MUSIC: Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use promo code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. https://nowaybackfilm.com/ Follow us on Twitter @2022affirmation or on Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, plus other perks TBD. Get your first month free with promo code GRANDFATHER; after that, it's only $8/month. Check it out at https://somekindoftherapist.locals.com

I was recently given the opportunity to speak with homeschooling mother and a Catholic Bioethicist Samantha Stephenson. In this clip from last Monday's episode Samantha offers her unique insight into how attachment styles can inform religious faith. The full episode is available to stream on my X profile and YT!