StewieTunes

I wrote Hit the Spot when I was a Junior in High School. I was so proud of myself!

DISCLAIMER: I wrote God’s Theme over 50 years ago. Any resemblance to current political figures is purely coincidental – and deeply disturbing!

A song about my time in high school.

Let’s start with the most controversial parts. I really thought long and hard about offending the Teacher’s Union, but at the end of the day I’m going to be honest and state what the thousands of tax returns I have seen thru the years tell me: Teacher’s salaries are competitive and their retirement benefits are great. By ‘Competitive’ I’m saying it would be moderately difficult to obtain an equal or better salary, if an educator were to obtain a job outside of the public-school districts. The point is – teacher’s still make more than what most folks make; my observations are indeed borne out by independent statistics. I will agree with the Teacher’s Union that teachers’ salaries are low – but so are everyone else’s. What sets educators apart is the retirement benefits: Retired teachers make almost as much as working teachers; and in addition, teachers can retire at a much earlier age than those of us working in the private sector; sometimes even in their early 50s, when school districts encourage early retirement to pare their ranks, such as with a drop in enrollment. These retirement benefits are so good that several states are going broke from paying retirement obligations to educators and other government employees. In conclusion, I think teaching is an excellent career opportunity; I admire those individuals who have chosen a career in education, and maybe even envy them a little. Let’s move on to my commentary about the former Missouri Senator. Ever watch the show House Hunters? My wife watches it all the time, and if I want to spend any quality time with her, I have learned to enjoy House Hunters also. One day we were watching the show and the featured Hunters were a couple from the DC area, who were looking for an $800,000 vacation home in the Caribbean. He was a high-level IRS employee and she owned a ‘Boutique.’ Now in the eyes of this well-healed accountant, I quickly deduced that what we really have here is a government employee who could not only afford a hugely expensive Island vacation home, but who could also support his wife’s ‘Boutique.’ Boutique is another word for tax shelter. So, I made a mental note of this example of how much more government workers make than the rest of us. A few weeks later, I had an opportunity to use this ‘example.’ Every so often, the IRS tries to sneak in a law change to remove some relief from the oppressive taxes small business owners pay, by making an S election. Since I helped a lot of these folks, I took it upon myself to write the appropriate lawmakers. As opposed to the accounting industry specialists, who simply beg, I’m successful because I point out the obvious – you can’t tax small business owners at rates approaching half of what they make. You wanna know how I know they read my letters up in Washington? Several weeks later, we were watching House Hunters again, and sure enough, there was Claire McCaskill’s aide looking for a condo in DC. I wonder where she got that idea from? And, oh by the way, you small business owners out there can still use that provision to save a few bucks off your taxes. You’re welcome! As to McCaskill’s response to my letter – a bunch of word salad, which seemed to agree with taxing the **** out of small businesses. The first verse of the song is the stark realization that a middle-aged person can’t both work and play, but still must support a family, the retired person, as well as the non-working immigrant. The second verse points out the financial advantages of jobs in the public sector as compared to those folks who try to run their own businesses. Special kudos to the late Jimi Hendrix, for my best attempt at a scream. I think the refrain speaks for itself. If you don’t get it by now, you are simply not paying attention! The third verse deals with the abusive medical costs we face, along with the failures of the current system. Since I was a child, medical costs have consistently risen far greater than inflation. Now that part about taxes never going down. Congress can pass all the income tax cuts they want, but those cuts won’t stop the state and local governments from raising your taxes at will. These State and Local bureaucrats have become experts at raising our taxes. They know how to hold special elections, where the only voters who show up are the ones who want to raise your taxes. They know how to circumvent the election process so as to raise your property taxes every year, without your say-so. Finally, the chorus of this song was so motivating, I indeed found a way to retire several years after writing this song, so I too can now live off the Land of the Free!