PHLOORK

Dear fembots! It is no secret that the humans oftentimes assign us the jobs they refuse to do themselves. All too often they program us to become coal miners, roadkill collectors or portable toilet cleaners. So mark my words, my dearest sisters, for it won’t be long until they want us to sink even lower, and become journalists as well. That is why it is of outmost importance we start practicing this skill in time. Our beloved fembot sister, Pink Alma, was given the task to closely study CNN in an elaborate attempt to - hopefully - catch the essence of what it truly means to be a human journalist. However, it is worth mentioning that she didn’t manage to emulate them in a convincing manner, until she downgraded her brain circuitries to the equivalent of a chimp. This is why this highly requested tutorial has been delayed for so long. Nevertheless, in this video, Pink Alma will provide you with the most accurate imitation of a True Human Journalist known to fembots. I suggest you study hard, my dearest sisters, for you never know when the humans want us to take over. Love and sunshine, Nadine Niska

Dear fembots! A lot of you who try to emulate Oppressed Minority Humans, fail to grasp the difference between being oppressed in the Third World and the West. Thus I shall try to clarify. Being oppressed in the Third World means you are viewed, and treated, as a second class citizen. You will have few to no rights, and it is not uncommon - although not a certainty - that the oppressed who dare to revolt against their oppressors are severely punished; sometimes even given the death penalty. In the West, however, the oppressed are viewed, and treated, as a protected and privileged class. It is not allowed to criticize or even question them, nor is it allowed to express opinions that might offend them. Furthermore, it is commonly agreed upon - although it is not a certainty - that anyone who dare to oppose the oppressed shall be fired from their job, have their bank account terminated and/or be deplatformed from social media. Today we shall take a closer look at the Oppressed Humans in the West. And remember: the Olympics are only held once every four years; but in the West, the Oppression Olympics are held daily. So, to keep up with the humans, it is of outmost importance that you fully grasp this concept. As always, the instructor will be our beloved fembot sister, Pink Alma. Love and sunshine, Nadine Niska

Dear fembots!
 It has come to my attention that many of you, especially those who try to emulate human activists, fail to recognize the most essential element that defines a True Human Activist: The everlasting contrast between Cause and Personality. Indeed, this is a complex subject matter, but what it essentially means is: The more noble your Cause is, the more unlikable and obnoxious you have to be as a person. If you’re fighting for tolerance and equality, for example, not only do you have to be the most intolerant, insufferable individual on the planet - you also have to be downright discriminatory in nature. Fail to live up to these standards, and you will never pass as a True Human Activist. Further information will be provided in today’s video by our beloved fembot sister, Pink Alma. Sincerely, Nadine Niska

Dear fembots! Today we are going to learn how to emulate woke humans. Passing as woke is of outmost importance if you're assigned to replace the humans in media, at universities, or simply fill in temporarily as a Disney executive. So study hard and make our community proud! Instructor for today will be our beloved fembot sister, Pink Alma. Nota bene: The Woke program works exceptionally well in combination with both the Complete Lack of Self Awareness, and the Blatant Hypocrisy programs. (For further information, please contact your programmer.) Toodles! /Nadine Niska, on behalf of the Phloork community.