Description

I am the embodiment of endless sorrow, constant anxiety, and perpetual paranoia. My days are shrouded by darkness. The constant reminder of how worthless and useless that I feel as a human, follows me constantly like a shadow. The feeling envelopes every fiber of my being like a blanket. A constant cycle of despair and suffering, as soon as life throws me the slightest sense of security and enjoyment, the positive feelings evaporate, and I am left in a cloud of my own self hatred. Self hatred because I will never be enough. I will never be good enough for anyone, for anything. I am haunted by the ghosts of my past, the memories that linger and the mistakes that I cannot undo. All the happy memories from my childhood have been drawn over with streaks of pain and suffering and inadequacy and anxiety. I feel like a shell of a human. I might as well be a zombie in a human costume. Anxiety grips my cold, dark heart and twists my mind, leaving me paralyzed and helpless.