TWS Clips

I'm so desperate for a haircut that I'd take one from a new barber at this point. The problem is that I don't like small talk, especially when someone asks what I do for a living. So I'm stuck with long hair. From episode 85 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7Gaf-BgxJ4

Everyone has standards when it comes to dating. I prefer women who take care of their health, regardless of where they shop. When I say I wouldn't date a Walmart shopper, I'm only referring to the dumb overweight ones. That doesn't make me shallow. From episode 72 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhA3R20UbB4

Feeling confident is essential for every part of life. Don't let fear hold you back— go out and take on the world with your head held high. From episode 72 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhA3R20UbB4

At the end of the day, it's all about making a profit. Our employees, net profit, stock price, and EPS will ensure our business continues to thrive and bring in a positive cash flow for our future! From episode 71 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2re2zI5Kp1w

I am an authentic Chicagoan. I moved away from Chicago two years ago but it feels like it never left, because I am Chicago. From episode 69 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqtvKqMhUQU

It's easy to get bored, but sometimes taking risks and trying something new can be the best way to escape the monotony. That's why I recently decided to take mushrooms - and it was an experience I'll never forget! From episode 71 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2re2zI5Kp1w #psychedelic #mushrooms #adventureseeker #anxiety #podcast

I'm not at rock bottom yet in terms of mental health. I've only gone half a week before showering and changing clothes. That's not as long as some people. From episode 71 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2re2zI5Kp1w

I nailed the sober update on this episode. I ain't nailing the sobriety part, but my reporting abilities have improved significantly since the previous episode. I'm still white knuckling it and using other substances to cope with the post acute withdrawal syndrome. From episode 70 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0vGChu2LlY

Not all criticism is worth taking seriously. You must weed out the bad advice and focus on what will actually improve the end product of whatever you are creating. From episode 55 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo0uv9hhAlc

So far I've only ever been approached by women a few times in my life for random sexual encounters. I like it that way. I plan on doing nothing to change that. From episode 58 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6liDkkwTTpM

I can tell if someone knows what they're talking about because I'm from Texas. I was raised in the suburbs of Chicago, but that doesn't matter. Texas was always in my blood. From episode 58 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6liDkkwTTpM

How much do you think this amazing wool coat cost? Fashion is one of my new favorite hobbies. I did not think the actual song would fit over my rendition. I just so happened to sing it in the right key. The daily ear training is paying off! From episode 58 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6liDkkwTTpM #malefashion #fashion #podcast

I need a larger and larger dose of mushrooms to tolerate the insufferable people I come across in the comedy scene of Austin, one of the most mentally ill cities in the country. From episode 58 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6liDkkwTTpM Personal IG: https://instagram.com/timweichselbaum Timmy Gusto: https://instagram.com/timmygusto

Never insult the host of a comedy show you are performing on. I like to do it when I'm in character, but some people thought it was real. They had it coming, actually. I take that back. Insult the host all you want if they deserve it. From episode 57 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0JthSiVfJo Podcast links: https://linktr.ee/twshow

I have high standards when it comes to finding a wife, now that I'm at my peak hotness. From episode 58 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6liDkkwTTpM

When comedy goes bad for me, It goes really bad. Thankfully, I can blame it on my alter ego, Timmy Gusto's persona. When you're doing a character, it's never your fault if you bomb. It's the audience's for not getting it. Not my fault they never heard of me. From episode 57 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0JthSiVfJo

I like to say weird stuff as the first line when performing stand-up. It often doesn't work in rooms where the crowd has never seen me before. But I like a challenge. From episode 57 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0JthSiVfJo

I used to get jealous of other comedians who got opportunities that I wanted. That is a sign of being green. If someone is given an opportunity, they probably deserve at least the chance to do it. Doesn't mean they will do well on it. But they probably did something to impress the person who gave them this opportunity, because people don't tend to hand out opportunities frivolously. It's better to be underrated than overrated. From episode 57 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0JthSiVfJo

I met a firefighter while doing stand-up and he was so enamored to meet me that he forgot that he had a real job. From episode 57 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0JthSiVfJo

Show life that you're in charge. From episode 56 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA53-1EDIZU

I already know I have a good radio voice. I've been doing this for a while. If you want to give me a compliment, you should think of something not as obvious. This is a comedy clip, it is not to be taken seriously. From episode 56 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA53-1EDIZU

I don't lie to homeless people when they ask me for money. I'm an honest boy. I tell them "no, sorry." instead of some bs like "I don't have any money." Of course I got money on me, I just don't want to give it away. From episode 56 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA53-1EDIZU

What would happen if you switched bodies with someone? They'd all of a sudden totally behave differently, right? Not really, since you'd be in their brain. Consciousness is not special. From episode 55 of The Tim Weichselbaum Show. Full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo0uv9hhAlc