Guns & Games

Behemoth wastes far too much time talking to robohoe model #685. Very little robocidal violence ensues, but ludicrous amounts of jibber jabber.

Behemoth engages in glorious battle with a giant foul tempered ball of tinfoil.

On his continuing mission to clobber all the testing grounds, Behemoth climbs a hill to test 8, and can't find an open door.

Testing ground 9 is the next stop on Major Behemoths journey to obliterate all robobastards.

Behemoth intervenes in an angry plant/robot war. They don't get to kill each other, only he gets to kill them both.

Into test chamber 6 for more intriguing weapons and blueprints.

Behemoth heads into yet another subterranean complex, this one a weapons testing lab, to find new and exciting way to destroy commiebots.

A peaceful, idyllic meadow under a vibrant blue sky, spoiled and defiled by corpses of both man and machine. Yet more proof that the ineptitudes of communism can ruin anything.

After running both hither and yon to get the damned train moving, surely it will last and be useful for more than a single cut scene. Right?

Lootaholic Behemoth acquires every last piece of shiny debris on his way down the hill to the train station.

After finally escaping the village, Behemoth engages in some good old fashioned, family friendly, vehicular robocide.

After finding his way out of the agricultural complex and back to the surface, Behemoth explores an idyllic little village completely overrun with robots of various sizes and shapes.

Behemoth, at the urging of random survivor #4, takes up gardening as a hobby. Surely nothing terrible will happen to random survivor #4 as a result.

While gathering canisters for the magic commie tree, Behemoth comes face to beak with the deadliest predator known to mankind. The dreaded Gallus domesticus.

In today's exciting episode of "Yet more failures of communism!", Behemoth becomes an algae farmer.

Zombie/plant creatures join the commie bots as foes to be splatted with axe and shotgun. Behemoth abides.

Behemoth catches up with Petrov. He's apparently had a bad day.

Behemoth makes his way through a warehouse and a seed vault, smashing robots and looting their internal bits in pursuit of generic human villain #486.

Deeper into the experimental agricultural facility Behemoth journeys. An ironic location, given communisms track record of being unable to feed their own people, resulting in mass starvation either by intentional design or massive incompetence. There are also occasional robots that get bludgeoned to hell and back.

Behemoth meets a purple haired weirdo and a horny kitchen appliance. The purple haired weirdo is obviously the more significant threat. No sane person would willingly do that to their own head.

As always, the commie "Utopia" collapses almost instantly, and the bodies of their hapless citizen/slaves start piling up. "But I'm sure it'll work next time!!"

Behemoth heads off to a fantasy land where communists are capable of creativity and inspiration, managing to build amazing and advanced technology and robotics. Unlike the real world where the only thing communists has ever excelled at is stealing innovation from the free market and setting world records at murdering their own citizens. The only good red is a dead red.

The final battle of Gehenna, Mobile Infantry vs. Mercs vs. bugs. Who will win?! Also, audio is borked in this one, nothing to be done about it, think my mic is just about dead.

Many wretched insects are slain as our hero, Troop-hemoth clears a good-sized base of their infestation.

Still fighting the bugs on generic lava planet, Merc/Troop-hemoth gains some very hyped up but very underwhelming k mart brand Marauders, only without all the things that make Marauders fun.