Don't Settle for Less - When to Take a Stand in Relationships
Don't be affaid of conflict. It's important to have boundaries. Stick up for yourself. Know when to draw the line. Learn the value in walking away from a dysfunctional and toxic situation. If you're not willing to say enough is enough and give an ultimatum, you have no hope of real change.
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6
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"I sometimes wish I would catch my wife cheating"
This is an unfortunately common scenario I hear from men that I chat with. They have every reason in the world to call it quits on a VERY dysfunctional and terrible relationship. But... the man hangs on tight. He can't just let the woman and everything he worked for go like that. Then he says the magic words: "I sometimes wish I would just catch her cheating." WHY?! Because then he would be the "good guy" and nobody would fault him for leaving. He would have no choice. He would be free of guilt and shame. He would have the moral high ground.
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7
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Just ignore the angry minority of the internet
A follower/viewer wants to know what I think about the gender war going on in the comments on social media. I just ignore it. The vast majority of people are overall positive. The vocan minority are very negative. You can't let the negative people get to you, or it will drive you nuts.
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5
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The Hidden Struggles of Parenthood And How It Drives a Wedge Between Couples
Being a parent exposeds the parts of you who haven't matured and "grown up". This is what pushes many couples apart after the introduction of a new child. What often goes missing with this disconnect is physical intimacy between the couple.
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4
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The Truth About Postpartum - Navigating Intimacy After Baby
It's tough to rekindle physical intimacy having a baby. The changes in the mother's physical and emotional self cannot be overstated. We, as men, have a hard time empathizing and fully understanding what is going on in the body and mind of a new mother.
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3
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The Couple That Grows Apart #marriage #relationship
This is a VERY common scenario amongst married couples. The low-anxiety, high-achieving partner (in this case, the man) has a mission. He wants to workout and get in shape. His high-anxiety, low-achieving partner (the wife) feels stressed about him leaving. She shames him into giving up on his mission and staying home with her. When home, she seems to do all she can to completely ignore him. He tries, in his defense, a variety of ways to connect with her... but she seems more concerned with her phone.
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3
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The Dating Game Is Just Like The World Of Corporate Politics #dating #datingafterdivorce
When you go into the dating world post-divorce, you need to know the rules and regulations. You need to understand the culture. You need to understand the politics. You can't bring your traits from your failed long-term marriage and hope that it will translate into success in your new world as a dating single divorced guy. Two totally different worlds.
This is EXACTLY what is was like for me as a young kid leaving college and going into the corporate world. Giant wakeup call.
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"Should I take back my cheater ex?" -- You already know what I'm going to say.
A follower on a live stream asks the question, "Should I take back my ex who cheated on me? What if she's truly repentant?" Dude... out of ALL the humans on the planet Earth, SHE is the one you would devote yourself to? Really?! WHY?! Comfort? Familiarity? Laziness? Lack of self-worth?
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4
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The Importance of Individuality in Relationships. A Lesson Learned the Hard Way
A VERY common problem amongst married men: We lose our sense of self, our individuality. We think it's a badge of honor to be selfless and set aside all of our normal human needs, desires, and interests. We drop hobbies and friendships so that we can better focus on our work and family. In the end, we become the opposite of who our spouse was attracted to when they met us.
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4
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Even Men Can Be Turned Off When Seeing Their Wife In The Parental Role
I'll often hear from women, "My husband shut down after the kids were born. He changed completely. He no longer wants to do anything in the bedroom." Yes, it happens! Not as often as when the genders are flipped, but it does happen. Some men have a very difficult time entering into the mindset for physical intimacy once they see their wife in a maternal role. It's the ol' "Madonna-Wh0re" complex in action.
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4
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A Man Finds Out His Wife Has Been Cheating On Him For 9 Years #affairs #cheating #infidelity
It's one thing to discover that your spouse had an affair... that's terrible in itself. It's another thing entirely to find out that the affair was a very long and very serious relationship that last NINE YEARS. That's exactly what one client of mine discovered. His wife had a completely separate and secret life for almost a decade. The only reason the husband discovered the affair was because the affair partner died and it sent the wife into a state of depression.
The problem that the husband has is that the relationship was, by all accounts, just fine during the nine year affair. He had no idea it was going on. Their sex life was just fine. Their emotional connection seemed fine, as well. So now that he has discovered this nine-year long deception and betrayal.. can he forgive her?
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12
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How Men Can Stop Seeing The New Mom As A Romantic Partner
Believe it or not, some men can no longer experience physical desire for their wife after she becomes a mother. It happens! Some men, via the emotional baggage they bring from childhood, can't combine the world of the maternal with the world of the romantic. The two worlds don't mix in their mind. They are diametrically opposed. These men often look to get their needs met elsewhere, often as affairs.
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2
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Who Wins? The Erotic Vs. The Domestic: Bridging The Gap To Find A Partner That Fits
Many of us who have been in relationships can testify to just how difficult it can be to find the one person who provides the comfort and stability we need from a partner... as well as the very healthy and very normal need for sexy/fun.
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2
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It's Hard To Get That Intimate Connection Back With Your Partner After The New Baby Arrives.
Remember the honeymoon phase? Yeah, that's done with a new baby in the picture. Your game plan for intimacy and connection with the wife just changed completely. It's not unusual for women in this position to be seen as being "dormant" as far as their need for physical intimacy is concerned. They just don't have that visceral drive to connect in that way. All of their mental energy is being spent on their job as a new mother.
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3
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Unlocking Masculine Growth Embracing Uncomfortable Truths - Setting Boundaries
You HAVE to have those difficult conversations. You can't keep running from conflict. You have to be able to enforce boundaries and follow through with consequences and actions if your boundaries aren't respected. Sometimes that means playing the part of the "bad guy".
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2
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Let's talk that viral video with the young child-free woman. Why pressure her to reproduce?
Conservative pundits and the internet in general went a little nuts over a viral video where a young woman brags about her child-free life. She was pointing out the lack of stress and the open nature of her plans for the day. She can do... whatever she likes! This really pushed some buttons. For your more traditional conservative (tradcon) types, she is one in a long line of women who personify the next fall of Rome. If she knows what is good for her, she will settle down and make some babies. In other words, we, as society, know better than her as far as what she should do with her life. Do we? What's to be gained from forcing her into a life that she may very well not be wired for?
As a guy who talks to men who are in dysfunctional relationships, quite often they pain a picture of one or both people feeling like they are forced into a life (marriage and kids) that they just didn't have the tools to properly navigate. They end up being one in a long line of people in their family that have similar issues. It's a generational thing. Grandma and mom also had the same kind of toxic issues.
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4
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"Women need to lower their standards! Wait... I don't want to be settled for."
A conundrum I run into often with men I coach: They complain that women have WAY too high of standards in the dating world, but they are very sensitive to the fact that women may be "settling" for them. Many guys run at the first sign that they are not the best lover/friend/provider that their woman has ever known.
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2
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Hot Flashin' And Menopause: Let's Talk About It!
Mother Nature doesn't check in with men first before starting up the old menopause motor. It just starts the process and we, as men, are told that our wives lowered libido and energy for life is natural and we need to go along with it... but our inner nature and wiring as men sure does say otherwise, doesn't it? That's one in a long line of struggles we have as couples in long-term monogamy. Sometimes our timelines don't match up!
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2
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There Are Big Changes For New Mothers - Emotionally And Physically!
It's tough to rekindle physical intimacy after having a baby. The changes in the mother's physical and emotional self cannot be overstated. We, as men, have a hard time empathizing and fully understanding what is going on in the body and mind of a new mother. It can be brutal for the mother! Patience and a whole new game plan for intimacy are needed.
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3
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Secrets To A Happy Marriage: Bridging The Gap Between Sexy And Comfortable
It's a problem as old as time: How do we bring the world of the sexy/fun into the world of the comfortable/domestic? Can the two worlds exist together? What work does it take to bridge the gap between the two?
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2
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Breaking the Taboo - Embracing Motherhood and Sexual Identity
Once they become a mother, women shift and immediately go through a mental and physical transformation. It can be argued that they "mature" at a rapid rate... and leave their husbands behind. The gameplan for intimacy has to change. The old ways just won't cut it anymore.
IMPORTANT LINKS:https://www.liinks.co/dadstartingover
JOIN THE DSO FRATERNITY:
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SUBSCRIBE TO THE DAD STARTING OVER PODCAST:
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6
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It's Time To Grow Up When You Have A Baby! That Can Mean Less Intimacy In The Bedroom.
Being a parent exposes the parts of you that haven't matured and "grown up" quite yet. This pushes many couples apart after the birth of a new child. What often goes missing with this disconnect is the physical intimacy between the couple. People with maturity and a strong bond are better able to navigate these waters and find a way to stay connected and eventually bring the sexy side of the relationship back.
Download Austin's book here: https://dadstartingover.com/why-sex-ends-after-kids-and-how-to-fix-it
IMPORTANT LINKS: https://www.liinks.co/dadstartingover
JOIN THE DSO FRATERNITY:
https://dsofraternity.com
GET THE DEAD BEDROOM FIX FOR FREE:
https://dso-db-fix.scoreapp.com?utm_campaign=ScoreApp+DBF+YouTube&utm_source=Youtube&utm_medium=link
SUBSCRIBE TO THE DAD STARTING OVER PODCAST:
🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dad-starting-over/id1185701282?uo=4
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0JxJxYcDu2voTxtY2K5Rj7
🎧 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy50cmFuc2lzdG9yLmZtL2RhZC1zdGFydGluZy1vdmVy
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6
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The Typical Dead Bedroom Conversation #sexlessmarriage #deadbedroom #monogamy
A dead bedroom is, unfortunately, a common scenario within a marriage. Often, the wife points out her state of exhaustion/anxiety/stress as the source for the lack of libido and intimacy. This sends the husband into Mr. Fixit mode, trying to do all he can to alleviate his wife's stress. It doesn't work. The core issues are not addressed, and both just get more and more frustrated.
Check out my book, The Dead Bedroom Fix: https://deadbedroomfix.com
IMPORTANT LINKS:https://www.liinks.co/dadstartingover
SUBSCRIBE TO THE DAD STARTING OVER PODCAST:
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40
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When The In-laws Take Your Ex's Side
I know... your ex cheated, lied, left you with the kids, and acted like an all-around terrible human... yet her parents won't talk to you! They take HER side! What the heck is that all about!? That's normal. That's their baby girl. You went from their "son" to "the guy our daughter used to be married to."
IMPORTANT LINKS:https://www.liinks.co/dadstartingover
JOIN THE DSO FRATERNITY:
https://dsofraternity.com
GET THE DEAD BEDROOM FIX FOR FREE:
https://dso-db-fix.scoreapp.com?utm_campaign=ScoreApp+DBF+YouTube&utm_source=Youtube&utm_medium=link
SUBSCRIBE TO THE DAD STARTING OVER PODCAST:
🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dad-starting-over/id1185701282?uo=4
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0JxJxYcDu2voTxtY2K5Rj7
🎧 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy50cmFuc2lzdG9yLmZtL2RhZC1zdGFydGluZy1vdmVy
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2
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