Cop And Killer
Grabbing the man by his collar the police officer twisted his shirt and held him up so he had his chin at the perfect level, then he swung, striking the man across his jaw knocking him out. I didn’t know he was the killer, and I was in his car.
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Ask Lieutenant
Sir, the order for this upcoming operation is fantastic. It’s textbook strategy combined with experience and wisdom. You’re a commander wise beyond his years. But nowhere in here does it say we get to stab those dirty bastards in the throat and that was the main subject of my question.
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Mr. Anderson
“You rotten son-of-a-bitch! Where do you get off coming in here causing a scene? My people informed me earlier today you stormed in cursing at everybody in the building. Stomping through here like a petulant child, demanding results. -- Well pack it in your ass Mr. Anderson!!!”
…..
“Sorry, wrong number.”
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Gift For Words
PENNEY BLOG - https://michaeljpenney.com/blogs/penney-blog/gift-for-words
“Are you haunted?”
Hesitantly I answered her, “yes.”
“Many with the gift for words are. Hemingway was haunted.”
“I’m not Hemingway.”
“No, but you have a gift for words.”
“Gift of words.”
“What?”
“You keep saying gift for words. It’s gift of words.”
She just smiled.
“Yes, I’m haunted.”
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Kind Of An Obituary
Mr. Joel Lee Anderson, of Mauville, died Wednesday evening when his vehicle struck a telephone pole near fourth and main street. He is survived by his wife and three daughters. Mr. Anderson was known to be a harsh but loving man who enjoyed using colorful language. He is somewhat missed.
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Janitor Of Sorts
“There’s this old guy with wild gray sideburns that wrap around his dome like a skirted eggshell. He always wears matching workwear shirt and trousers and you’ll never find him without a pack of smokes in his front left pocket. That’s the guy who cleans up after the peep shows.”
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Homecoming Prude
“Just the tip, just this once, just to see how it feels.
Three of the biggest lies ever uttered. They’ve resulted in the defloration of a generation and turned them into concubines. Rabbits show more discretion when breeding.
No one is more suitable to chaperone the dance than I.”
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50 Word Short Stories …. Almost Poetry But Not Really
50 Word Short Stories …. Almost Poetry But Not Really …. It’s A Collectible Anthology Of Non-Fiction & Fictional Autobiographical Biographical Tellings, Stories, Jokes, Poems, One-liners, Short Stories, Definitions, Urban Dictionary Definitions, How To, Manual Descriptions, Violent War Stories, Horror Stories, Marriage Stories, Divorce Stories, Kids Stories But Not Stories For Kids, Parenting Stories, Death Stories, Struggling Through Loss Of Loved Ones, Personal Illness And Loss Of Income … And Of Course Love Stories That Involve Romance And Graphic Scenes Of Physical Love Making … And It’s Dedicated To You!
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Hunting With My Sons
An ideal day would be spent in the countryside walking with my two sons, shotguns in hand with game in the pouch and more in the field, trusty dogs at the heel and, a calm mother nature.
There will be many stories of big animals and guns and lessons learned.
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Death Of A Politician
Blood streamed from the hole in his shoulder, down his arm, to his pinky then dripped onto the fresh white snow.
“That bastard shot me.”
He shuffled to the opposite corner entrance of the granite walled courtyard, swung about, and returned fire. His bullet hit the mark, killing the governor.
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They Fit
She fit neatly under his chin. A perfect fit. From flat feet to the top of her head, the whole person fit snug right under his chin as he gazed forward comfortably. Her nose rested in the dimple below his adam's apple. They fit. That’s what she missed most.
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38
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Coquina Marie
We will have a girl. She will be beautiful. We will call her Coquina Marie. She will be smart, funny and strong. She will be brave, just like her mother. She will be worthy of the name. She will love the beach and the sea. Our little girl Coquina Marie.
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How It All Went Down
She fell in love with me.
Too good to be true, honestly.
A guy like me with her.
Star crossed lovers destined for tragedy.
We got married, had a family.
It was raining when she left.
Yes she took the kids too.
Six months of drinking I guess?
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Our Friend
“What’s the black kid’s name again?”
“Nate – “
”He’s a helluva hockey player. He’s got freakin’ wheels and a lightspeed stick!”
“Where’d he come from?”
“Heaven, as far as I’m concerned.”
“Amen!”
“What’s coach think.”
“Coach thinks he’s crazy.”
“HAHAHAHAH, Why?”
“Cuz he plays base in a metal band.”
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43
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Love Affair
A love affair is a delicate thing. Two beings attracted through forces unbenounced to them. Pulling close for a sweet soft delight, inhaling each other’s toxins and breathing the essence of that young moment into existence. Fragile and wanting to ignite.
#LoveStory #Love #LoveAffair
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Flying Ace
Pulling back on the yolk, the biplane went from it’s steep climb into a roll. Upside down they held weightless in freefall, both men straining their necks backward to find the orange evening sun burning on the horizon then the ground and the enemy plane they were tailing … fire.
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Dedicated To You!
These stories are dedicated to you. You’re fun and witty and smart. Other people like you. They enjoy being around you and conversing with you. You're my kind of person. You’re the reason I wrote these stories, because you laugh hard, you love hard and you're fun - enjoy and share!
That dedication was 50 words...get it?
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Like Dates Mixed With Curry And Sweat
My fingers smell like dead hadji.
If you’ve never smelled dead hadji before, you don’t know what I’m talking about.
If you have smelled dead hadji before, you can’t get the scent out of your brain.
As I light this cigarette that’s all I smell, dead hadji and burnt hair.
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Advice From A Bouncer
“You don’t wanna punch someone in the face. That hurts and can injure you. You wanna punch them in the ribs. You want them to think about you every time they take breath or cough. They’ll wince just thinking about you. Slug them in the ribs then getem outta here.”
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114
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Missing Girl Mystery
“Smells like a fart down here!”
“Then we are on the right track.”
“It’s a good thing – that smell?”
“The corpse is decaying. It must be around here somewhere.”
“Point your flashlight over there; in the corner.”
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. That’s her.”
“What a beautiful girl.”
“Yea, she was.”
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Ramadi Glass Factory
Clean shaven and freshly bathed he slipped the vest over his head and secured the sides, arming the device. Twelve hundred ball bearings four pounds of plastic explosive. He stood in line with the fifty other Iraqi people waiting to sign up for the police force. Thumb on a button.
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Your Thoughts
“Kill yourself. I mean, fucking KILL YOUR SELF! Pull your pistol out. Put it against your head. Pull the trigger. KILL YOURSELF.”
But the warden didn’t move. He just sat there looking at the inmate with pity, and a little contempt, wishing he hadn’t asked him what the voices say.
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Hang Him
He lost his bladder as they put the black bag over his head. Then they put the noose over his head and tightened the knot at the base of his neck. His hands tied. They tied a sandbag to his bound ankles. They hanged him for raping that girl.
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Paid Extra
Tommy paid extra to beat up the whore he was fucking in our Vegas motel room. I woke up to it.
“What is wrong with you?!?!”
“Nothing, shut up I paid extra.”
“Yea, shut up, he paid extra.”
Tommy slapped her across the face and they went back to it.
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Marine On Post
A little brown figure in a purple dress surrounded by rubble and rubbish and filth stood on the sidewalk that divided her family's backyard into two halves. She looked up smiled and waved to her guardian angel behind the machinegun then went back to playing with her doll.
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