How to Build a Strong Foundation for Your Marriage that Lasts a Lifetime!
How to Build a Strong Foundation for Your Marriage that Lasts a Lifetime!
Marriage: union of two people as partners in a personal relationship
The most important relationship to me is my relationship with my husband.
What do I mean?
1. Newlywed – getting to know each other, which takes a really long time to get below the surface stuff.
2. Engaging – starting a family, finding your career after college and beginning to climb the corporate ladder, if that happens anymore. Really getting a routine of work, the addition of children how you as a couple are going to ebb and flow through this time as a unit.
3. Momentum – kids are in school; you are busy if the kids are involved in outside activities. Maybe if you altered your career while the children were you, now you are thinking more seriously about your career and possible growth to start the corporate climb.
4. Peak – the kids are finishing high school, moving on to college or out of the house to do this thing called life as an adult. As mothers we are now adjusting to being less busy, as the teens/young adults are more independent than ever, and we begin to learn about ourselves and our intimate partners once again.
5. Deceleration – reconnected with your partner, the slower pace is nice. There is less day-to-day planning and more going with the flow. It can be a challenging time in your relationship if you are missing the children and all that life meant before now. I refused to let that be me!
First, we have to know the pitfalls that could come our way.
1. Lack of communication. Communication is essential for any relationship, but it is especially important in marriage.
2. Financial problems. Money is a major source of stress for many couples, and financial problems can put a strain on a marriage.
3. Unrealistic expectations. Many people have unrealistic expectations about marriage. They may think that marriage will be perfect all the time, or that their partner will always meet their needs.
4. Lack of intimacy. Intimacy is important in all aspects of a relationship, but it is especially important in marriage. When couples don't feel connected to each other physically and emotionally, it can lead to problems in the relationship.
5. Infidelity. Infidelity is a betrayal of trust, and it can be very difficult to recover from.
Then there are the outliers such as substance abuse, domestic violence, growing apart (including values and goals) and mental health problems. Dealing with life and life’s stress.
Let’s get real about how each of us can work through or even avoid to the best of our ability these pitfalls:
Communication
Financial problems
Unrealistic expectations
Lack of intimacy
Infidelity
These can be tough to do, and if you value your relationship there may be a time when one of many of these to risk losing the relationship we value the most!
Next episode we are going to about family of origin, raised in, and all the aspects that impact us as women growing up that then carry on into our adult life.
Oh, and by the way, if you plan on purchasing products from amazon you can click this link https://amzn.to/3ZCFh94 in the description and you would get a small percentage of their purchase which would continue to help you produce the podcast.
You don’t want to miss the next episode, because we are going to talk about families of origin, our birth families!
Be sure to share, like and subscribe to never miss another episode! We have so much to talk about, and I can’t wait to hear from you!
Gig Workers Solutions - gigworkerssolutions.com
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work:
by: John M. Gottman, PH.D. – https://amzn.to/48IGqA3
The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
by: Gary Chapman - https://amzn.to/466d6S1
Gifts for the One I Love You Lucky Coin with Wooden Box
- https://amzn.to/45kfRyb
This description contains affiliate links to products. I may receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I believe will provide value to my readers.
Amazon Associates affiliate program. We earn commissions from qualifying purchases through Amazon links, at no extra cost to you.
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click the subscribe, like and SHARE so you don’t miss an episode. I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on favorite podcast channel.
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Kicking Perfectionism to the Curb, Once and For All
Perfection: the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects
Perfectionism: refusal to accept any standard short of perfection
I can’t be the only one that always thought perfectionism was something to strive for! Perfection meant success, accomplishment and high achievement. I even recall at times in an inward way almost bragging about how good that “perfection” made me feel! Some might even list it as a weakness on a job interview to indirectly say how hard-working we are without seeming pretentious.
Why do we need to kick Perfectionism to the curb?
A Defense Mechanism of Protection
It does help to realize that perfectionism is not necessarily a positive trait that we should all be aiming to achieve, contrary to popular belief.
But instead, as Brene Brown calls it, perfectionism is a heavy-as-shit 20-ton shield that we carry around to protect our hearts and our inner child from shame, criticism, and judgment.
And let me tell you – that shit gets real heavy with time.
Researchers many times to divide perfectionists into two groups
1. Those that are self-motivated and set higher standards for their own personal motivation
2. Those that use perfectionism as a way to deal with the fears of being judged or criticized.
Embrace 'Good Enough' to Lift The Weight Of Perfectionism
Accepting good enough means allowing outsiders to see the real you.
It means allowing yourself to accept:
the messy, the lost, the not-having-all-together-all-the-time, you.
It's opening your heart and exposing your true self to the world just as you are.
Imperfectly perfect.
But you know what's on the other side of that pain?
Beautiful growth. Authenticity. Love. Courage.
And these are all much better feelings than the neurotic tendencies that perfectionism places on you.
It is important to remember to you are not alone!
Let’s wrap this episode up by talking about 5 steps to kick perfectionism to the curb, once and for all!
1. Begin Owning Our Stories – Our Messy-Sometimes-Chaotic-Mostly-Not-Perfect Intimate Stories.
It's time we see the bigger picture and change our perspective.
2. Instead of seeing a messy imperfect home, be grateful for the life that thrives within it.
3. Challenge your perfectionistic thoughts and beliefs.
4. Set realistic goals. Perfectionists often set unrealistic goals for themselves.
5. Celebrate your successes. Perfectionists often focus on their failures and shortcomings.
Here are some 3 tips to become your best version of you and achieve all the goals you desire!
1. Find a friend to confide in when you’re feeling the pressure of perfectionism.
2. Find a professional.
3. Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and when you find the perfectionism flooding in, snap the rubber brand to remind you the benefits of being true to you!
Thank you for joining me on this episode about Kicking Perfectionism to the Curb, Once and For All!
Be sure to share, like and subscribe to never miss another episode! We have so much to talk about, and I can’t wait to hear from you!
Resources to help you achieve the success you are working for:
The Gifts of Imperfection, 10th Edition by: Brene Brown – https://amzn.to/3Zx1p4E
The Art of Exceptional Living by: Jim Rohn - https://amzn.to/48hlrUs
How to Own Your Own Mind by Napoleon Hill - https://amzn.to/3EGNrDD
This description contains affiliate links to products. I may receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I believe will provide value to my readers.
Amazon Associates affiliate program. We earn commissions from qualifying purchases through Amazon links, at no extra cost to you.
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click the subscribe, like and SHARE so you don’t miss an episode. I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on favorite podcast channel. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources: https://allthingsshepodcast.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deblbell
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrs.deblbell/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deb-bell-636706144/
Schedule a 30-minute Meet and Greet session to see if coaching with Deb is a fit: https://calendly.com/Meet&GreetwithDeb
Join the Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/youmeandallthingsshe
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How to Stay Focused on Your Goals and Achieve Success!
How to Stay Focused on Your Goals and Achieve Success.
Goal: the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.
Success: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
Every successful person thats been my mentor, has always talked about goals to continue to drive the results each of us are looking for. Whether it’s in our careers, business or personal achievements. Unfortunately, we may not always hit the mark.
Why do we fall short?
1. Set clear and specific goals. What do you want to achieve? When do you want to achieve it? The more specific your goals are, the easier it will be to stay focused on them. Ever hear of SMART goals, one missing piece to the puzzle could be the reason why you didn’t achieve the goal we set out.
S Specific
M Measurable
A Achievable (not pie in the sky, I wish, hope and pray)
R Relevant
T Time bound
2. Break down your goals into smaller steps. This will make them seem less daunting and more achievable.
3. Create a plan of action. What steps do you need to take to achieve your goals? .
4. Eliminate distractions. This means turning off your phone, closing your email, and finding a quiet place to work.
5. Take breaks. It's important to take breaks throughout the day to avoid burnout.
6. Reward yourself for your accomplishments.
7. Don't give up.
It is important to remember to you are not alone! Let’s wrap this episode up by talking about 7 step process for achieving your goals and milestones you set for yourself!
1. Think positive about your goals and outcomes several times throughout the day. This may take a very conscious effort, so it may take writing in on a card you keep in your purse or wallet to pull out several times a day.
2. Take a look at what habits achieving your goal will require.
3. What one new habit will you begin today to work toward your goal?
4. Is there anyone, a group or support you can reach out to either hold yourself accountable or that can lend help and support to achieving your goal?
5. Have the courage to reach out to the support you identified, and set a specific day to meet, either in person, or over the phone or video. This conversation should clearly state the support you are looking for from the,
6. Begin implementing another new behavior along with the first changed behavior as now your beginning to take the next step in achieving your goal!
7. Enjoy the journey by celebrating the wins no matter how bit or small and enjoy the personal growth and improvements ahead!
3 tips to become your best version of you and achieve all the goals you desire!
• Practice mindfulness.
• Find a mentor or coach.
• Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t hit the mark.
I would like to recognize Coco Gauff said she was overwhelmed with joy when she realized she won the U.S. Open women's final on Saturday and her victory "still doesn't feel real at all." The triumphant 19-year-old made history, becoming the youngest American to win the title since Serena Williams in 1999.
Let us know in the comments below how you plan to begin Staying Focused on Your Goals and Achieve Success!
Be sure to stay tuned to next week’s show! You don’t want to miss the next episode, because we are going to talk about Goals, and Dreams for our best future!
Share, like and subscribe! We have so much to talk about, and I can’t wait to hear from you!
Resources:
The Compound Effect: Multiply Your Success One Simple Step at a Time by: Darren Hardy - https://amzn.to/3rbCEy0
The Art of Exceptional Living by: Jim Rohn - https://amzn.to/48hlrUs
How to Own Your Own Mind by Napoleon Hill - https://amzn.to/3EGNrDD
This description contains affiliate links to products. I may receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I believe will provide value to my readers.
Amazon Associates affiliate program. We earn commissions from qualifying purchases through Amazon links, at no extra cost to you.
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click the subscribe, like and SHARE so you don’t miss an episode. I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on favorite podcast channel. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources: https://allthingsshepodcast.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deblbell
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrs.deblbell/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deb-bell-636706144/
Schedule a 30-minute Meet and Greet session to see if coaching with Deb is a fit: https://calendly.com/Meet&GreetwithDeb
Join the Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/youmeandallthingsshe
203
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The 3 P's of Letting Go: Pause, Pray, Proceed
What does it mean to let go? to stop holding or gripping (something or someone)
Thank you for joining me on this episode: The 3 P's of Letting Go: Pause, Pray, Proceed
Reason why women we don’t let go of baggage from the past:
There is no way in the world to maneuver this thing called life without first of all having baggage from the past, and the hardest thing many times is letting go of that to embrace the future!
Fear of change. Letting go of baggage from the past can be a big change, and it can be scary to take that step.
Avoidance. Sometimes, it's easier to just avoid dealing with the past
than it is to face it head-on.
Guilt. Women may feel guilty about letting go of the past, especially if
they feel like they are abandoning someone or something important.
Pain. Letting go of baggage can be painful, both emotionally and
physically.
Low self-esteem. Women with low self-esteem may not believe that they deserve to be happy or to let go of the past.
Trauma. If a woman has experienced trauma in the past, it can be difficult to let go of the associated baggage.
Uncertainty. Women may be afraid of what the future holds if they let
go of the past. It can be more comfortable to stay in our poopy diaper
than move forward with change.
Lack of support. If a woman does not have a strong support system, it
can be difficult to let go of baggage.
It is important to remember to you are not alone! Let’s wrap this episode up by talking about 3 ways to as they say, feel the fear and do it anyway!
1. Never Lose Hope. Have appreciation for the small things.
2. Faith. In something bigger than ourselves. Whether it’s God, A power
greater than yourself, Higher Power, Etc.
3. 3 P’s - Pause, Pray/Process, Proceed.
Pause – getting in touch with yourself. Connecting in a spiritual or faith-based way that is right for you.
Pray/Process – Rely on something greater than yourself to help you through. We ultimately take the first or second step, but no matter what your beliefs are, I believe there is a master plan bigger than I can imagine, and the infinite is working for my benefit behind the scenes.
Proceed – Take the next step, in faith and confidence because we have chosen to act rather than react.
This brings coping tools and mechanisms. Deep breathing, meditation, yoga, exercise, reaching out when needing someone to talk to.
One last thought before we part, many of you may be aware that the late great Jimmy Buffet recently passed away and he always looked to keep the fun and laid back atmosphere in his music. We can all learn from that lighthearted perspective by not being to serious with ourselves and life. Let’s live our best life TODAY!
Let us know in the comments below how you plan to begin using the 3 P's of Letting Go: Pause, Pray, Proceed Go ahead, let me know what’s on your mind!
Be sure to stay tuned to next week’s show! You don’t want to miss the next episode, because we are going to talk about Goals, and Dreams for our best future!
Thank you for joining me on this episode The 3 P's of Letting Go: Pause, Pray, Proceed.
Be sure to share, like and subscribe to never miss another episode! We have so much to talk about, and I can’t wait to hear from you!
Codependent No More by: Melody Beattie: https://amzn.to/3L2XB4W
Secrets of a Millionaire Mind by: T. Harv Eker: https://amzn.to/3EtYbow
This description contains affiliate links to products. I may receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I believe will provide value to my readers.
Amazon Associates affiliate program. We earn commissions from qualifying purchases through Amazon links, at no extra cost to you.
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click the subscribe, like and SHARE so you don’t miss an episode. I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on favorite podcast channel. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources: allthingsshepodcast.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deblbell
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrs.deblbell/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deb-bell-636706144/
Schedule a 30-minute Meet and Greet session to see if coaching with Deb is a fit: https://calendly.com/Meet&GreetwithDeb
Join the Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/youmeandallthingsshe
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EP5 A Celebration of Everyday Joys of Being a Mother
You will meet some very special guests on this episode joining Deb to talk about celebrating everyday joys of motherhood.
From the simple comments, “you are the best mommy ever” to watching our children grow, spread their wings and fly, the joys of motherhood are countless.
Reminders to stay present to experience the joys:
1. Be present when you can with your children.
2. Think about what they will recall as memories and not be concerned with the small things that do not affect the picture of your child’s life.
3. Enjoy the milestones they experience along their journey.
4. Feel confident in your values and beliefs when communicating on social media, because there is so much social noise today. Other mothers will question or put you down when inquiring about something on FB.
5. Realize we are all learning and growing even us as parents. No matter what age we are, this is the first time we are embarking at this time on our journey called life, so patience and understanding is key.
If you can follow these 3 Keys to find your joys of Motherhood each day will be filled with joy!
Grow in Grace – That can sound easy yet feel so difficult. Here’s how to get started and help staying focused about grace.
1. Practice gratitude. Take some time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for as a mother. This could include your children, your partner, your health, or even the simple things in life, like a warm bed or a delicious meal. Gratitude can help you to focus on the positive aspects of your life, even when things are tough.
2. Be kind to yourself. Motherhood is a demanding job, and it's easy to be hard on yourself. But it's important to remember that you're doing the best you can. Give yourself grace when you make mistakes, and celebrate your successes.
3. Connect with other mothers. Talking to other mothers who understand what you're going through can be a great way to feel supported and encouraged. Find a mothers' group, join an online forum, or simply reach out to a friend who is also a mother.
Hit the Pause can be difficult if you are tired, hungry or angry. These three steps to hit the pause button can go along way.
1. Be intentional about making time for yourself and your children. It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, but it's important to make time for the things that are most important to you.
2. Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you're feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for help from your partner, family, or friends. They can offer you support and practical help, which can free up some of your time and energy so that you can enjoy your motherhood journey more.
3. Remember that it's okay to say no. If you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, it's okay to say no to invitations or commitments. Taking care of yourself is important, and you don't have to feel guilty about saying no.
Finally, the last key to celebrate the everyday the joys of being a mother is live with no exceptions.
1. Let go of the idea of the perfect mother. There is no such thing as a perfect mother. Everyone makes mistakes, and that's okay. The important thing is to love your children unconditionally and to do your best.
2. Be present. It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, but it's important to be present with your children. When you're with them, give them your full attention and focus on the moment.
3. Enjoy the moment. Motherhood is a fleeting moment in time. Don't get so caught up in the future or the past that you forget to enjoy the present moment. Take time each day to savor the joy of being a mother.
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EP4 Losing Yourself As a Woman Find Yourself Again
Are you feeling like you're losing yourself as a woman? Do you feel like you're constantly putting the needs of others before your own? Are you struggling to find your identity and purpose?
Below is an outline of the show and tips for you to use to finding yourself again:
If so, you're not alone. Many women experience this at some point in their lives. But it doesn't have to be this way. In this video, I'll share the signs that you're losing yourself, how to avoid it, and how to find yourself again.
Signs that you're losing yourself:
• You stop caring about how you look.
• Your complete life revolves around your kids, husband or significant other, aging parents, or work.
• You withdraw from activities and things you were once involved in.
• You no longer have the freedom you used to have.
• You're feeling depressed, anxious, or have low self-esteem.
How to avoid losing yourself:
• Know yourself. What are your values? What are your interests? What makes you happy?
• Set boundaries. Don't be afraid to say no to things that you don't have time for or that aren't good for you.
• Make time for yourself. Schedule time each day to do something that you enjoy.
How to find yourself again - 5 Keys:
• Ask for help. Talk to a therapist, counselor, or other trusted professional.
• Find a hobby to enjoy. Something that you can do for yourself, without any pressure from others.
• List 5 things that stir your soul. What are the things that make you feel alive?
• Put yourself as a priority in your life. This means making time for yourself, even when it's hard.
• End your day with a gratitude list of 5 things from the day. This will help you to focus on the positive aspects of your life.
When you find yourself again, you will:
• Improve your mental health and overall well-being.
• Be able to live a life that is true to yourself.
• Be an inspiration to others.
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EP3 - Working Woman
Todays show uncovers areas of being a working woman, whether you are a working mom, with a partner we are juggling so much. If you are working outside of the home or working remotely from home, the challenges can be very different. We will discuss the skills needed for success in any area as a working woman.
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EP2 - Ladies and Self Care
This episode is about setting boundaries for ourself to build in self-care. This will allow us to show up for those that count on us, and we love in a whole new way.
EP1 You, Me and All Things She
Let's get to know each other before we begin our journey on You, Me and All Things She. We will take a journey into all things related to being a woman! From motherhood, being a partner, and working partner to family relationships.