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Duck and Cover
* Big shoutout to fantastic drummer Max Prokofiev who did a dizzingly great job (again) in this song.
Bert the Turtle's Speech:
"To every problem there’s a universal solution
Years ago I realized
Why life was plagged with issues
I had ignored the words of the wise
And was paying dearly for it
But that is something…
We’re going to cover today!
To make sure…
CO2 levels
Coffee stains on your dog
battery acid levels in your coffee
and the skin rash known as spontaneous human combustion
are all in check
Alright,
Are you ready?
Whenever something’s wrong,
here’s what you have to do…"
Lyrics:
Jay walking in the middle of the highway
I see the headlights of a semitruck
No time to give it the middle finger
Instead I…
Duck and Cover
Duck and Cover
Duck and Cover
Then watch it burst into flames
At night gang of thugs surrounds me in an alley
There’s two policemen eating doughnuts
One of them pulls a knife
Now they’re getting nothings because I’ll
Duck and Cover
Duck and Cover
Duck and Cover
Then vanish before their eyes!!
I reach into my pant and feel a tender lump
On my other hand a notice from the IRS
No budget for getting treated but that’s alright I just
Duck and Cover
Duck and Cover
Duck and Cover
Miraculously recover and have my slate cleared
Alright, there you go… You know it’s true because it was on TV and from official sources – so
DOUBLE PLUS GOOD!
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