2 years ago

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Get Your Ex Back - Even if he doesn't love you anymore
By: Carlos Cavallo

Look, one of the most hotly discussed topics is how to get your ex back. It's probably the most highly charged emotional event in a relationship, and it's something everyone encounters at some point.

First of all, I want to talk about getting perspective, this is one of the most important things I think you can do in your life.

One good anecdote was from a friend of mine who was doing some work outside with a friend of his and got bit by a mosquito. He got bit on his upper lip, and it was starting to grow.

It was itchy and he’s trying to sit down and relax and eat his lunch. But he’s like, “God, this thing on my lip is driving me crazy.”

His friend just looked over at him and said, “Well, you know what, dude, if a mosquito bite on your upper lip is the worst thing you got going on right now, that’s not bad.”

He kind of looked up and said, “Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I guess it’s not that bad.”

Think of all the things that can happen to you in life, all the tragedies that can befall us, all the difficult situations we can run into, and some of them can be pretty horrific.

So everything from dealing with illness to losing family members, just so many bad things can happen to us on this life and probably will at some point or another. The little things often seem to be a big deal, but they never are.

So perspective is where you go to discover that all-important lesson that, “You know what? whatever you think you’ve got bad in your life, somebody else has got it worse.”
And yeah, sure, there’s somebody that’s got it better, but it’s only for a short time. Eventually, it balances out.

There’s nobody that leads a charmed life in this world. There’s nobody that just skates right through it, no harm, no difficulty, no problems.

Even if it seems like nothing's wrong with them, on the inside you’d be amazed how insecure, how unhappy, and just generally how not-with-it some people are.

We often take it for granted because we believe that we are the only people experiencing our personal pain. As a matter of fact, we often NEED it to be that way.

We need that pain to be ours and uniquely ours because it gives us kind of a badge of honor that we can celebrate.

“Look, my pain is deeper than yours. My struggle is worse than yours. My agony inside is worse than yours!”

During a breakup, that's something we need to believe in order to feel like we still have value.
Believe it or not, that’s what we do in our heads, so you’ve got to get perspective. Step back and get perspective in any way you can, any possible way you can, and that will often give you a very big aha moment, an epiphany if you will.

I remember watching the last episode of Mad Men, where at the end of the show, Don Draper has basically gotten his perspective. A lot of people debated about the ending of the show and how it ended.

I’m not going to talk about the exact ending here, but you could see that he got perspective in a way that served his needs. Because, of course, he’s Don Draper!

He does what he does, and the rest of the people in the show reflect him and how he moves through the world.

You can see this in many shows and movies where somebody has gotten to this unique perspective. And it happens pretty much in every movie because it’s part of the character development and their story.

To Get Your Ex Back - you need to get that perspective you need
Now, all of this relates to another subject which I really wanted to touch on today. The topic of getting your ex back.

Everybody has, at some point or another, had a breakup, possibly gone through that pain of losing a special person, of seeing that person walk out of their lives.

And then what do we want? Well, we want them back, because we don’t want to lose that connection.

It happens enough in our lives where we don’t see the complete pattern of what’s actually happening during a breakup. I want to re-explain this process a bit because it’s very important you understand what’s going on behind the scenes - the weird battle in your head.

Because if you’re not prepared the next time a relationship is in trouble, or there’s an impending breakup on the horizon, you might be fooled. You might be thrown madly into a tailspin because you weren’t ready.

And you’ll panic and you’ll do the things that will not serve you in the relationship.

And it definitely won’t get you ...

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Carlos Cavallo
Dating Advice Guru
http://www.datingadviceguru.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
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How To Get Your Ex Back
https://youtu.be/Nfgr1Jjbomk