Testimony: Michael Poehls (Throwback)

Originally Posted 6 July 2020

I have grown up in a Pentecostal church for about 20 years from childhood until early adult-hood. Everyone told me it was because I grew-up in a church and I would never experience being born again . I left to go in the US Army and I had a lot of spiritual experiences. I ended up getting Baptized in Basic Training and although I grew up in a church environment I had called out to God and Re-Affirmed my life and repentance to Jesus Christ and asked him to be my Lord and Savior. Little would I know it would take me on a long journey that would eventually lead me to salvation (truly living for God). I believed myself to be Christian already at this point but I still never had really any strong faith or conviction in me being saved and I did NOT live a christian lifestyle. I had been baptized, which I felt was the only next logical step after asking for forgiveness of my sins but I still never felt any conviction or a solid feeling of salvation. I always wondered if I was truly saved. I later on in my life after the Army fell into severe PTSD and Anxiety problems and it caused me to fall down a rabbit hole abusing hard drugs (heroin, Meth, Prescription drugs) and living a Un-Holy life in general. I still wanted to be saved and I felt at this point I fell so far from grace I wasn't sure if I could ever go back to how I was at a kid, even at that point I wasn't convicted in my faith. I started to see a real battle for my soul, I had co-workers that would seemingly read my mind when I was trying to decipher out reality and truth. There eyes would change and in a taunting like manner they would ridicule what I was thinking about and ask if I would believe or do something so ignorant. As a Information Technology Specialist I was in an environment that was full of Atheist and unbelievers. This pressure and stress resulted me in abusing drugs while at the same time I went to church and proclaimed to be a christian even tho I didn't feel like one or act like one. I remember at work I once told someone I am a christian, even if didn't act like it. This was horrible and till this day I pray for forgiveness, I must have left a lot of stumbling blocks to others. I had a bad experience with abusing drugs and ended up in the hospital, my marriage in shamble's and thoughts running in my head that I never even knew I was capable of. This was my moment of realization of everything I had done. Running away from the truth out of my selfish intents and I was full of pride, after being in the hospital it finally woke me up. God allowed me to experience some of these things that were necessary to get me back on track towards his precious grace. After I got home from the hospital I spent some time getting into rehab, getting therapy for PTSD disorders. At this point I had been praying constantly, every moment of my day I praise Jesus name. I want to be with him at this point more than anything this world could ever offer me. I was so spiritually convicted I picked up my bible and read 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 and completely surrendered my life to Jesus Christ my personal savior who died for my sins and was crucified on the cross and was resurrected on the third day to save me and this time I finally had real longing and a heart of belief for Jesus Christ. This made everything I done wash away from me. I can tell you it still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it a couple of years later. I felt a love I never have felt before, like a beaming light from my heart and I never felt so much love. I felt this warming sensation go through my body from my head to my feat and when I would walk outside I felt as if I had new Eyes everything was perfect and I loved Everybody, all the hate I had in my heart for everyone was GONE, my heart of stone was instantly changed into a heart of FLESH. I was instantly delivered from pornography, smoking cigarettes, cursing like a sailor, Lying, even the very nature of my THOUGHTS were different. I no longer had Lust in my heart and over the last year through prayer my mind and thoughts have Completely changed. I used to see others and wonder how they could have fun or be happy to go to church, read the bible, and partake in christian activities, I thought without drugs that would be incredibly boring. I have realized now that when God changes you, he really changes you, even your very own desires. I absolutely love to serve Jesus Christ with all my heart, those boring things I had viewed before became the staple of my life and I found peace, serenity, and Joy in these things.. The Lord has brought such a peace to my life I've always longed for. I now read my bible as much as possible and make church a part of my daily / weekly routine for spiritual growth. I have been discerning with the Holy Spirit and I have learned a lot about the world we live in also I believe in the Rapture and I FEEL like it will be very soon possibly, THIS year, I feel it in my spirit!