I Want More Communication! Do I Have an Anxious Attachment?

2 years ago
9

Question:

My question is how to know whether it’s my intuition or trauma response/anxious attachment activated when it comes to someone who isn’t being as responsive as I’d like him to be.

Let’s say someone I just started dating isn’t texting me back right away or making plans with me immediately or wanting to see me all the time but is doing enough that it’s reasonable (and my friends agree.)

However, I go a little nuts when I don’t have a date scheduled as soon as the first one ends. I have a bad feeling in my stomach.

How do I know if that’s my intuition telling me that this guy is going to hurt me because he isn’t as excited as I am about the potential relationship or whether it’s my past trauma response activated from abandonment wounds and anxious attachment and things like that?

I feel like it’s a little of both, especially because when I’m in a relationship I feel similarly at certain times and end up needing a lot of reassurance from partners (that I don’t always get.)

However, that being said, it’s possible it’s my gut/intuition all along since none of my relationships have worked out so far!

If it is the latter, do you suggest just sucking it up and doing meditation and trying to deal with it on your own so that you don’t project your own issues onto the person you just started dating?

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